Joke Collection Website - Bulletin headlines - One of the childhood relics: Zhuang Er (Fan Fangqing)

One of the childhood relics: Zhuang Er (Fan Fangqing)

When we were children, we were busy. Adults would ask us to pull the annoying pigweed every day, completely ignoring our childishness and playfulness. We would carry baskets that were too big for our small bodies and go all over the mountains to grab the rare weeds. A large group of uneven children blew through the wheat fields and rapeseed fields like the wind on the ridge...

After a while, our baskets were gradually filled with wild grasses with many names, almost almost They all have small half-back baskets. At this time, the children were all a little tired. They raised their tanned little faces and wiped the fine sweat particles on their foreheads with their sleeves. Then they looked at the pigweed in the basket on their backs. There was always someone who would take the lead. He shouted: "Let's drive piles!" As soon as the words came out, those who responded gathered.

Everyone will choose a relatively flat place, put down the basket, and start driving piles. What is piling? It means inserting a wooden stick on the ground, and the piling driver throws a sickle at the wooden stick eight or nine meters away. The one with the sickle closest to the stick wins, and the prize is pigweed. We first insert the wooden stick, and then draw a circle eight or nine meters away from the wooden stick. Then, everyone will grab a large handful of pigweed from their own basket and spread it out in a row on the ground. If anyone puts less, they will immediately be condemned by everyone and asked to make up for it. Everyone will do it at this time. He appears to be calculating and upright, even if he is facing a master, an uncle, a cousin, or a full brother, he treats them all equally. The pile driver stood in the circle and aimed at the wooden stick and threw the sickle, one by one. Everyone who had their turn held their sickle as if it were a fighting gun and stood in the circle with a serious expression. He looked up at the stick, then looked back at the sickle in his hand, and then tried swinging his arms like a throwing sickle, several times. Then, take a deep breath, hold your breath and concentrate, and throw the sickle with the most appropriate strength, the most accurate direction, and the best angle. Then, the nervous heart will roll, jump, and stop with the falling sickle... As the sickle cuts through the arcs, it is often accompanied by sighs, regrets, ridicules, surprises, and cheers. After that, everyone swarmed to the wooden stick, measured and compared the distance between the sickle and the wooden stick, and judged the final winner of this round. As soon as the results of each round came out, some people were crestfallen, some were cheering, and some were expressionless... all the different emotions in the world were revealed one by one. After a few rounds, the baskets of those who missed the mark have already been empty, and they have no capital to continue. They never cry, and will say unconvinced: "If you fight, I will come again." Then they pick up the basket on their backs and jump into the ground to consciously pull pigweed to make money, while the others continue. Piling. After a while, the loser took half of the basket and came back to join again, and so on. Time passed quietly in this joy and sigh, gradually the red sun set in the west, the sunset reflected the sky red, and everyone suddenly realized that it was getting dark! Take a look at the baskets on your back, and you will see that some baskets have grown from half a basket to a full basket, with a smile that makes you unable to open your eyes; while some baskets are empty! What to do? What to do? Why don't you get a beating when you go home? Alas, there is really nothing we can do. "Wang Wu, Li Si, you two have won so much, so you can feel comfortable. Help us see that we are going to cut the grass in Grandma Si's fertile field." After saying that, no matter what, jump to The fourth grandma sticks her butt out and steals other people’s fertile field grass. This watchman is not a fuel-efficient lamp. He often deliberately teases: "Here comes someone, here comes someone!" The few who stole the pig grass were scared to death, and they fell down in the pig grass and remained motionless... Then, the watchman After he said "I lied to you", the grass thieves got up again, stuck out their buttocks and stole angrily and fearfully, and cursed in their mouths: "Damn you son of a bitch, take us The pigweed has become comfortable, and it is still here to scare us..." Seeing that they had almost stolen it, they all ran out of the fertile field and grassland quickly. Some people with slow hands and feet saw that there was too little in the basket, so they used small branches to support the basket on their backs, which looked full; or they shook the pigweed in the basket and shook it again, and carried it loosely The next day, when we met, the first thing he asked was: "Zhang San'er, were you covering business last night?" Have the parents corrected it? ”