You probably picked it up from the trash can

Introduction:

? Among the ten biggest lies of this century, there must be this one: You picked it up from the trash can. When you were young, because you were young and ignorant, and because your parents avoided talking about sex, you never knew where you came from. In fact, this cannot be blamed on the parents, but on the pedantry of the times. When you grow up and know the relevant knowledge, this problem will become a complete joke. But it is precisely because of this, your parents' avoidance when you were young, and their silence when you were growing up, that you have nothing to talk about when you get older.

NO.1 Amusing children

There is a very important branch in our country’s “education” system, called the culture of amusing children.

What does it mean? It is when a child is not fully grown up and has no ability to distinguish between good and evil, right and wrong, but he has the ability to recognize people, objects and himself, he is fooled and played with by adults.

For example: When a child is four or five years old, he loves to eat sweets. Some adults put candy in front of him to coax him, but do not give it to him until the child wants to get it. When the time came, the adults quickly withdrew their hands and hid the candy. When the child started crying, the adult took out the candy and continued to coax him. By this time, the children were already crying, while the adults were amused and laughed. Of course, the onlookers around also laughed.

I don’t know whether this kind of vulgar culture has been passed down in our country from ancient times to the present, or whether it is a strange way of passing time newly developed in modern times. And this phenomenon is often seen frequently, and it may be happening in any family. The legacy is passed down from the previous generation to the next generation and continues to be passed down. To be honest, this kind of vulgar culture is no better than disco dancing on the grave.

The reason why I say this is because I was deeply affected by it when I was a child. However, I usually only get bullied. Finally, my mother said: "Stay away from these adults, and they won't bully you?"

Well, she meant that I took the initiative to provoke them. of. This concept of sneak exchange works very well. It's like: Why do they only hit you and not others?

Damn it, how do I know why they only hit me! ! !

To be honest, this way of evading questions and answers is because, firstly, they do not want to cause trouble for themselves, and secondly, they feel that the children are still young, and they will forget about the little bullying as time passes. This is a typical scar that heals and forgets the pain. Adults planted the seeds for you when you were a child.

Every time I go home now and see adults teasing children at home, I quickly stop them. If the situation is serious, I will lose my temper. Whether the other person is a friend or a relative. Respecting the elderly in respecting the elderly and loving the young requires us to respect the behavior of the elderly rather than respecting the age of the elderly. There is an essential difference between the two, which shows that not everything the elderly deserve respect.

NO.2 Use perfunctory methods to avoid problems

When I was a child, I asked my mother: When will you come back?

She said: Soon.

I asked my dad: When will you come back?

He said: Soon.

One of the things I wanted to know most at that time was: how fast is it?

By the time I knew it, I had grown up.

The education level of our parents’ generation is generally not high. Basically, they all graduated from primary school. Those who rarely graduate from junior high school are considered intellectuals. Therefore, it is indeed very difficult for them who have little education to say anything knowledgeable to us.

However, when it comes to various problems in life, our parents do not explain and educate us, and do not even have a basic attitude to take them seriously, which is a huge disappointment.

For example, when you were a child, you would ask them: Can you not go out to work? Can you stay with me?

My parents said: If you don’t work, you won’t have money. Without money, you can’t go to school, and you will starve to death.

Most parents can only say this, whether you understand it or not, they can only say this. Because of limited culture, we cannot explain more truths. Even if they say it, they don’t know whether you understand it or not. So let’s just talk about these cookie-cutter answers. Some parents simply don't talk about it because they think there is nothing to talk about. They think that when you grow up, you will understand their painstaking efforts.

The original intention is good, but what if you don’t understand? What if it doesn’t grow up?

My brother is like this. He was a rebellious teenager and became addicted to the Internet. His original performance was quite impressive, but after he switched to gaming, his gaming skills became quite impressive. (League of Legends League of Legends level 2 level 1, or higher) Later, I was often beaten severely by my uncle, and the beatings were horrific. My dad often talks about him too, which makes me very uncomfortable. My brother doesn’t want to be like this. He is young and has no one to accompany him. He goes astray and has no one to help him. My uncle can only be beaten and beaten, and there is no education at all.

There are a large number of left-behind children in southern my country. These people almost never had childhood. Even if they did, they stayed with their grandparents or grandparents. So they hardly speak the same language as their parents. As for the reason, you can understand it if you think about it. The world of a child is very simple. There is not so much understanding and incomprehension. I will kiss whoever is with me. This is the way of thinking of a child.

Although children are young, they still listen to reason. For example, when I was a child, I was someone else’s child. It is no exaggeration to say that it is still the case now. If parents don't teach their children well and only know how to beat and scold them, or deal with them, it will only increase the distance between the two generations, and this distance will become longer and longer as time goes by.

NO.3 Silence replaces communication

When you grow up, there will definitely be a period of rebellion, and then you encounter problems of this kind. I don't listen to my parents, and I don't like everything. Tired of studying, hormonal surge, confusion, and arrogance. Each of us will experience such a period, and not surprisingly, our parents will also experience it.

As you grow older, your vision and experience begin to expand, you begin to explore the meaning of your existence, and you begin to think about the value of life. However, due to the unestablished and imperfect three views, you will fall into a long period of exploration. During this period, you began to confront your parents, and because of their incomprehension, you gradually began to drift away, so that in the end, silence was often used instead of communication.

Who is at fault here?

Parents.

Nonsense, of course it’s the parents. As mentioned before, many people enter junior high school and high school as left-behind children. Their parents did not maintain proper communication with them when they were young. By the time they reach junior high school and high school, there is basically a generation gap. That's what I'm saying, this inability to communicate will get longer and longer as time goes by.

Children.

Nonsense, of course it’s a child. Although parents make mistakes, they must also be considerate and understanding. Don't use the excuse that your childhood was lonely to treat your parents as enemies. Parents are just guides, and whether you can succeed or not ultimately depends on yourself. This sentence is appropriate for any age group. Only oneself can fulfill oneself. What kind of person you want to be, if you really want it, can only be realized by yourself. Outsiders or external forces can only assist, but not play a decisive role.

The solution to the problem lies in communication. No matter which party closes the communication valve, the problem cannot be washed away. Parents feel that their children are at fault, and children feel that their parents are irresponsible. In fact, they are not helpful in solving the problem. Silence can never replace communication.

NO.4 Communicate attentively and actively

Adults should not always fool their children by saying they are busy. These words are all deceiving fools, and children are not fools.

Let me put it this way: First of all, children don’t care whether you have time or not. Once you spend time with them, they will realize how good you are, and all other things will be useless. If you only know how to give money to your child, gradually he will no longer ask you for your time, but will only ask you for money. Anyway, in his eyes, you will always say that you have no time. For example, for me now, if my dad or my mom calls me and I say that I am very busy and have no time, think about how they feel. When I was a child, my mother and father coaxed me like this, which made me feel uncomfortable. Now that I have grown up, I should stop attaching this kind of discomfort to them.

Adults definitely hope that their family will become better and better, but they are struggling to find a way to communicate. This phenomenon is especially common in families whose economic conditions are gradually improving. Because they are no longer busy making money, they want to regain the few family ties. But at this time, the child had already flown far away, so how could he pay attention to the false feelings in his eyes.

So, it is not too late to make amends before the distance is widened.

The children must be the ones who need to change the most. During this process, the mental journey must be particularly difficult, but since you want life to get better and better, you should face life with a positive attitude. No matter what happened to you in the past, it's all over now, right? You see, the fact that I can now properly say these words to you here means that I have also changed for the better.

There is a saying that goes well: Maturity does not teach you to hate the world more and more, but it teaches you to be gentler and gentler to the world. I am quite gentle towards the world now, just as I am quite gentle towards myself. Because of this change, I am now quite gentle towards my family.

Please believe in one thing. No matter what attitude your parents have towards communication, please go ahead bravely with the goal of making your family and yourself better, that is, be gentle to them. some.