Help! ! Kneel for high marks

Cher was used to seeing her parents' cold faces since she was a child. Parents' preference for sons made her feel that her birth was a mistake. My father's male chauvinism was left by my grandfather, which is a tradition of this family and no one can change it. Mom has no right to speak in this family, including being consistent with dad, otherwise her life will be hard. In this family, the elder brother and younger brother are privileged classes and enjoy the preferential treatment of their parents. When my father is happy, he will prick his brother's face with a short beard, which makes him laugh. Every time this time, Cher will leave quietly. She knew that when her father's smiling face faced her, it would be immediately replaced by a cold face. Who let her be a daughter?

When Cher covered her face that was hurt by her father's hand, she knew that her father would never give her a little love, even if it was only one tenth of her brother's, even though this requirement seemed almost extravagant to her, it was actually that simple. What happened tonight is enough to prove her idea.

In Cher's memory, whatever she did was wrong in her father's eyes. Even her brother bullied her, and her father always slapped her in the face. Tonight, Cher was washing clothes, and her brother threw his dirty shoes into the washtub. Cher took out her brother's shoes, and his brother was crying, so his father was indiscriminate, and Cher had five slap marks on her face.

Cher looked at her father's angry face and was at a loss. Curiously, my mother also sided with my father and repeatedly accused her. Cher no longer expects anyone to speak for her. In this family, only my brother is very kind to her, but my brother never dares to contradict his father. Cher suffered a lot from her two ignorant younger brothers. How can they help Cher when her father is angry?

Cher put the washbasin heavily on the ground and leaned forward and rushed into the boundless night.

The night is dignified, and the stars look at Cher sadly in the sky. Although many people enjoy the cool in summer nights, Cher still feels lonely. Cher looked around and couldn't remember where she was going. After a long walk at a loss, she thought of May. May is her classmate and her good friend.

In the high school dormitory, Mei gave up a position. All the students in the dormitory fell asleep, and Cher wept silently. Mei gently wiped the tears from Cher's face with a towel and comforted Cher softly.

Some people say that the daughter is her father's former lover. Because I didn't love my lover enough in my last life, I came to him with my lover and became a daughter in my life. Therefore, a father's love for his daughter is unparalleled. This is what May said. May is spoiled by her father at home. She is the youngest in the family, and all three brothers love her like their father. When Mei saw the five fingerprints on Cher's face, her face was full of tears. She said this to herself.

Cher looked at Mei's face quietly, and her face was full of doubts: "Cher, why don't you do this?" Why does your father always hit you? Why? "

Cher didn't answer, not that she didn't want to answer, but that she couldn't answer Mei's question. For as long as she can remember, her feeling for her father was fear. Whenever Cher saw her father prick the faces of her two younger brothers with a short but hard beard, she wanted her father's beard to prick her fresh face, but every time her father reached out, he didn't want the bearded face, but the hands that brought her a lot of pain. Her father's hands are heavy, and her fresh face always leaves her father's palm print.

Lying in Mei's bed, Cher's eyes widened. Unconsciously, her hand was placed on the corner of her mouth, where there was a scar, which was the masterpiece of her father throwing a washbasin at her many years ago.

Cher still went home, but she didn't want to say a word to her father. She only whispered to her mother when something happened, and she passed it on to her father.

"Tomorrow, you don't want to go to school." After another dinner, Cher is helping her mother clean up the dishes. Father was smoking a cigarette, spitting thick smoke, and suddenly a sentence came out.

Cher stopped doubtfully and looked at her brother and younger brother with some incomprehension. None of them spoke, and they all looked at Cher with strange eyes. Cher looked at her mother again, and her mother sighed: "Cher, the family is poor, let your brother and your brother go to school." When you grow up in the future, find someone to marry. "

Cher looked back at her father again. She looked at her father's strange face carefully. There is no trace of love on that face.

Cher's head was numb, and she stumbled back to her own little world, lying on the kang without saying a word. She wanted to cry, but there were no tears. There is nothing but hate in her heart. She hates this family, and she has never been warm since she was sensible. Cher thought for a long time. She quietly packed her clothes. Opened the door and went out.

two

In the railway station, Cher had a ticket to her aunt's house in her hand, and she felt an indescribable feeling in her heart. Conflicts filled her heart. She hates this family, but she really wants to leave it. She won't give it up. In the station, it was noisy, but Cher seemed to be a quiet person and didn't hear anything.

Suddenly, Cher felt a gentle push on her shoulder. She looked up and her brother stood in front of her. In this family, she knows that only her brother is good to her. When her parents are not at home, if two younger brothers bully Cher, her brother will help her, but she can only obey her father's orders.

Cher didn't want to embarrass her brother, so she went home with him. Father was still smoking, uncharacteristically didn't beat and scold Cher, mother sighed and said nothing, and the family was silent.

Cher knows her father's character. As long as he doesn't say anything, no one can ask anything. She didn't ask anything, lowered her head, went back to her room and fell asleep. She wants to end her life in her sleep. What's the point of not going to school? She has no attachment to the world, and would rather die than be beaten and scolded.

In a daze, Cher felt uncomfortable like a fire, and her mouth was thirsty. She wants to get off the kang and find water to drink. As soon as she turned around, Cher felt as if she had fallen into the abyss.

I don't know how long it took. In the dim light, Cher felt a pair of strange hands touching her forehead. She struggled to open her eyes, her father's face in front of Cher. Cher found her father's eyes so frightened for the first time, as if she were going to lose her child. Cher couldn't believe her eyes. She tried to open her eyes, but her consciousness didn't listen to her control. She knew nothing.

When Cher woke up again, she saw her mother holding a glass of water. Her father stood aside, but did not leave. She quietly watched her mother feed cher water.

Cher looked up at the outside. It kept raining, and her father's face slowly melted in the misty rain. Cher fainted again.

When Cher woke up the next day, she only felt much more awake. She raised her body slightly, accidentally found something to eat next to her head, and saw her parents and the head teacher standing in front of her.

Cher wants to study, and reading is the only motivation for Cher to live. Cher's class teacher is very kind to Cher. He also has a daughter as old as Cher. He treats Cher like a father. He knows the situation in Cher's family and often says to Cher, "You should study hard, go to college, get out of this small place and get rid of your family completely." Cher trusts the head teacher. But now, Cher can't do anything.

Seeing the head teacher, Cher's tears suddenly fell down, and the tears of these days were released at this moment. The head teacher clumsily wiped Cher's tears with her hand and coaxed her. Gradually, Cher calmed down.

"You see, how to do? Let her go to school. " When Cher completely calmed down, the class teacher turned to her father and asked softly.

"I, alas, it's not that I don't want her to go to school, it's that the family conditions are not good ..."

Father didn't go on. She had a look on her face that Cher had never seen before, as if she were ashamed. Cher can't believe that in Cher's memory, her father will always be dignified and correct.

"Stop talking and go to school tomorrow." My mother, who had been silent, suddenly cried. "I'll pay for her school."

Everyone present was startled. Cher can't believe it's her mother's voice. Since she was sensible, her mother has always been cautious in front of her father, not to mention talking loudly.

Father stopped insisting, shook his head and walked out of the house. Mother looked at Cher, tears streaming down her face. Cher prone on the pillow, let the tears overflow.

Cher cherishes this hard-won reading opportunity and studies hard. When her good friend Mei showed her beautiful clothes after school, Cher had finished her English homework neatly. While Mei was absorbed in reading novels in Chinese class, Cher and her teacher were discussing the different usages of ancient and modern word meanings.

In the final exam, Cher accidentally squeezed into the top ten, but her good friend Mei became a poor student. May is annoyed and unbalanced, and likes nothing. Cher, who turned out to be a good friend, became the target of her punching bag and attack. Cher always silently endured Mei's rudeness, silently picked up the book that Mei threw on the ground, and faced Mei's anger with a cheerful face without any excuse.

Mei became more and more rude, and even threw Cher's book on the teacher's podium in math class. The math teacher is a female teacher. She was so angry that she just missed class.

Mei's bullying and Cher's weakness made some students very angry. Some students blame Mei with their eyes, and some students are already whispering. Facing the reproach of her classmates, Mei sat proudly in her seat, her head held high.

"You're ridiculous. Where in the world are people like you? I don't study hard, but I still treat my classmates like this! You are shameless! "

Bo, a male classmate at Cher's back table, stood up and shouted at Mei. Ban Changbo knows something about Cher and takes care of Cher on weekdays. If it weren't for Cher's obstruction, Bo would have warned May.

"What's the matter? Are you distressed? How can you be such a bitch? What's so good about her? What can a man do if he always lets his father beat him? She doesn't even have a place at home, and you still protect her? "

May's eyes showed contempt, and her words cut Cher's heart like a knife. Cher froze. She looked at Mei suspiciously, her face flushed and her heart ached. She squatted down in pain.

The whole class was silent, and all the students' eyes were focused on Cher, because almost no one knew Cher's family, and Mei's words surprised everyone.

"You are so annoying!" Bo suddenly stood up and threw the book in his hand at Mei, hitting her on the shoulder. Mei didn't expect the Expo to do this to her, so she cried on her desk. Bo ignored her and held Cher squatting on the ground.

Cher looked at her surprised classmates, looked at Bo with grateful eyes, resisted inner discomfort, stopped looking at Mei, quietly put away her books and left the classroom.

three

When I got home, my mother was cutting wild vegetables for the chicken, leaving Cher alone. My father works as a carpenter not far away. When he saw Cher coming back, he didn't look up, but glanced at Cher out of the corner of his eye. Cher quietly put the book in her room and silently took the knife in her mother's hand. Her mother told Cher that she had gone to the henhouse to pick up eggs.

When cutting wild vegetables, Cher thought of what Mei just said, which made Cher dizzy like a bomb. She wondered why Bai Mei did that. Is Mei's usual concern for her false?

Suddenly, Cher felt a sharp pain, and her left ring finger was cut by a sharp knife. With a bang, the knife was thrown to the ground by Cher. Holding the bleeding left hand, Cher didn't know what to do.

"You bastard, you don't have enough money to do some work." The distant father scolded 1, put down his work, came over and patted his hand, but when he saw Cher's bleeding hand, he paused, grabbed Cher's hand, pressed it into cold water, washed the wild vegetables on Cher's hand, and then forcibly held Cher's bleeding hand, cursing in his mouth and pulling Cher around the room looking for gauze. Cher couldn't hear who her father was cursing, and she couldn't figure out what was going on. She just let her father pull her around the house. My father looked everywhere, but found no gauze. The mother who heard the news handed the gauze to her father.

My hands were wrapped, but my father's anger did not disappear. He turned the blame on Cher to his mother, who dared not defend herself and let her father scold her repeatedly.

Cher went back to her room. She wants nothing. The pain in her hands is intertwined with the pain in her head. She can't tell the east from the west, and she just wants to sleep. Maybe when you wake up, everything will pass.

Cher seemed to hear a familiar voice when she woke up. It's Mei's voice. She seems to be explaining something. There is also a male voice, which is Bo's voice. Cher wanted to go out to see her classmates, but she heard her father shout angrily, "Get out!" " "

The class teacher severely criticized Mei. At a physical education class, when everyone was playing, Mei seemed to want to say something to Cher. Cher knew what Mei wanted to say, and she quietly avoided Mei. It's not that Cher is lofty, but that Cher feels speechless. May's words hurt Cher's heart. She doesn't want friends. Cher quietly came to the other side of the playground and inadvertently raised her head. Cher had some heartbeats, while Bo looked at her quietly with melancholy eyes not far away. Cher bowed her head. She was afraid to look Bo in the eye. A strong sense of inferiority made her choose to escape.

Since Mei and Bo came home, my father unexpectedly became silent. Cher seldom heard his scolding at home, and he never hit Cher again. Sometimes he looks at Cher with inexplicable eyes. Cher is not used to it, and she can't figure out what made her father like this. I can't figure it out, but Cher is still very happy because her father's hand is no longer reaching out to her. However, her heart is still uneasy, for fear that her father's slap will hit her again.

It was my father's idea that my brother was admitted to a technical school. The night before my brother left, my mother hired Jiao Zi. When Cher came back from school, jiaozi was already on the table. As soon as Cher picked up chopsticks, the dirty paws of the puppy at home stepped on Cher's white shoes. Cher subconsciously kicked the dog and the puppy barked.

"You bastard, it's better to have a dog than you." Father jumped up and pointed at Cher's nose and cursed. "Dogs can still look after the house. What's your use? I know what's the use of eating and drinking for free? "

Cher knew that the storm was coming, and the best way was to avoid it. She quietly put down her chopsticks. I went back to school without eating.

On the way to school, Cher wanted to cry, but she told herself: Don't cry, be strong. Cher knows why her father is angry. My brother is going to study abroad, which is very expensive. The family economy is not good, and it costs money to go to school. It is normal for her father to be angry.

Alas, Cher is very angry with herself. She is a daughter. If he were a boy, his father wouldn't do this to himself. My father's preference for sons is deeply rooted.

Be sure to go to college and show your father that your daughter is as good as your son! Be sure to go in and leave this house! Cher secretly made up her mind in her heart.

The family economy is getting worse and worse, and my father's attitude towards Cher has returned to the previous situation, but he no longer reaches out to Cher. Cher always hides from her father quietly, but when she pays her tuition at the beginning of school, she always faces her father's deformed face and hears his rough voice shouting. Fortunately, Cher is used to it.

four

In the days near the college entrance examination, Cher studies crazily, sometimes no one sits in the classroom, and often misses the meal time. Cher's health is getting worse and worse. Finally, one morning, when Cher got up to study, she was dizzy and didn't know anything.

It was after that day that mother always put two boiled eggs in Cher's pocket. Cher often finds that when her mother puts eggs in her pocket, her father has an excuse to walk away, but she is still ready to scold Cher.

The dark days finally passed, and Cher was the only female student in the village who was admitted to the university. When the class teacher sent the admission notice to Xueer's home, her father just glanced at it and walked away, while her mother cried happily. The two younger brothers changed their normal state and respected Cher.

College life is not very new to Cher. Cher is used to being left out. She always goes to the classroom quietly, goes back to the dormitory quietly, and reads quietly in the library. A semester has passed, and few people in the class know that there is such a classmate except those in the same dormitory. Cher doesn't want to contact her classmates either. She is afraid that her classmates will know what she is doing at home. Only in the library will Cher forget who she is when she is holding a thick book.

Bo and Cher are admitted to this school at the same time, but their majors are different. Whenever I am free, I can always see the position occupied by Bo for Cher in the library. Cher is well aware of Bo's concern, but she just plays dumb. Bo knows about her family and is a little embarrassed in front of Bo. In order to avoid Bo, she quietly borrowed the book back to the dormitory to read.

Bo doesn't care about Cher's attitude towards her, and always cares about Cher, but all the care and love are silent, because he knows Cher is timid, has strong self-esteem and inferiority complex, and loves to cry. If she is not careful, Cher will get hurt.

Time flies, and it's time to graduate. When the last Mid-Autumn Festival in the university came, Bo came to his dormitory. This is Bo's first visit to Cher's dormitory. This is not because Bo doesn't want to come, but because Cher told Bo not to come to the dormitory to find her.

Bo's appearance surprised the people in the dormitory. No one thought that Cher, who always keeps a low profile on weekdays, should have such a handsome boyfriend. At that time, Cher became the focus of the dormitory.

Cher was very angry and pulled Bo down from the dormitory. Outside, Cher's tears suddenly flowed out.

Bo quickly handed the handkerchief and gently coaxed Cher: "Cher, don't cry, look over there." Not far from Bo Finger, a Beijing Jeep quietly stopped at the school gate, and two middle-aged people stood beside it. The man is calm and the woman is dignified. Cher understood that it was Bo's parents. Although Cher and Bo live in the same village, Cher is the first time to meet Bo's parents.

"Cher, my parents want to see you. Go ahead. " Bo gently took Cher's hand and led Cher to see her parents.

In the restaurant outside, Bo takes care of Cher in every possible way, and puts the cooked dishes in Cher's bowl from time to time. Bo's parents saw his mind, and Bo's mother smiled at Cher and helped her with food. Cher is a little uncomfortable. Bo's parents' kind eyes make Cher want to cry.

"I am the only son who will go home after graduation. Cher, go back with Bohr. " Bo's father gave Cher a piece of fish and said to Cher gently. Cher knows that Bo's father is very influential in the village. It's easy to go back to my hometown and arrange Cher's work.

Cher bowed her head and said nothing, just playing with chopsticks.

"Never mind, I know your family situation, it's okay. Go back with Bo. We all like you and will treat you well. Your father is your father and we are us. This is different, believe me, son. " Bo's father has a gentle tone, but Cher feels cold all over.

Bo quickly interrupted his father and said, "Dad, stop it. Let's eat. "

After seeing off Bo's parents, Cher sat on the stone at the school gate and cried quietly. Bo stood in front of Cher, not knowing what to say. After crying for a long time, Cher stood up, pushed Bo away and ran back to the dormitory without saying a word.

Cher never met Bo again. She hides from Bo everywhere. Bo is helpless. Finally, one night, in the dim moonlight, Bo confessed his mind to Cher.

That night, Bo drank wine, his face flushed, and the most he said was one sentence: "Cher, I will be good to you, and I won't let you be beaten and scolded again."

Cher is very upset. In fact, in her heart, she likes Bo very much, but her inferiority makes her afraid to face Bo's favor. Her father is not the same as Bo's father. What kind of father does she have? She knows she can tolerate anything, but she doesn't want Bo to be wronged. Cher cried. She can't accept Bo's love.

Bo was mad by Cher, stayed up all night, and smoked one cigarette after another in the dormitory. At noon the next day, on Cher's way back to the dormitory, Bo appeared in front of Cher with a beautiful girl in his arms. That girl is an admirer of Bo.

Seeing this, Cher paused. In an instant, her heart jumped involuntarily and squatted down sadly. Bo suddenly let go of the girl and hurried to help her, but Cher pushed Bo away and gritted her teeth and came to the biology department.

The student section chief is a thin old man. He is writing something. He was startled when he saw Cher's pale face. He quickly asked: "classmate, do you have something?"

Cher thought silently for a long time before blurting out, "Teacher, my father is my stepfather, and I don't want to go back to my hometown after graduation." Cher feels sad. Lying is not her character, but she has no choice.

Bo followed Cher, heard Cher's lies, looked at Cher in surprise, and then at the student section chief. He was about to speak when Cher pulled him out of the student affairs office.

"What are you doing?" Wave gently looked at cher, "I'm not angry with you, ok? Come home with me, don't go out of town, I have to worry. "

Cher finally spoke: "Bo, don't you understand? Don't you know how I have lived these years? Did I ever love in that house? When was I ever free? Dare I have it? I am willing to go back with you, but how can I face my father's abuse? "

Bo stopped insisting. How could he not know about Cher? He sighed, looked at Cher carefully, gently cut Cher's hair, adjusted Cher's collar, said nothing, and turned to the dormitory. Cher saw the beautiful girl waiting for Bo not far away. Her expectant eyes made Cher feel sad.

If I become a mother, I will never be like my parents. I must make my children happy. Sorry, Bo. I want to leave my father, leave his beating and scolding, and have my own freedom. Looking at the lonely back of distant waves, Cher whispered to herself.

five

Cher got her wish and went to work far from home. A few days later, Cher wrote a letter to her family. My brother wrote soon, blaming Cher for acting on her own initiative and telling Cher that she wanted to go home for her father's birthday. Father is sixty years old this year. In the letter, my brother told Cher that Bo was married and his wife was the daughter of the township head.

Cher held the thin writing paper, and she remembered her father's slap again, as if she heard his father's bristle again. She habitually covered her face.

In the middle of the night, lying on the bed in the dormitory, Cher covered her face with a towel, and a lonely figure appeared in her mind, and her father's abuse rang out in her ear. Cher's heart began to hurt again.

After reading for so many years, Cher has learned a lot. Cher understands his father, and the times in which his father lived shaped his character. The hardships of life made him grumpy. The traditional idea of son preference makes him pay little attention to himself. Male chauvinism makes him not allow his wife and children to have their own opinions, but he is his father after all. After all, blood is thicker than water. Cher thought of her father's hands in the hospital bed. Her father was holding his hand cut by a knife, looking for gauze everywhere, and she was in tears. Although Cher didn't go home for her father's birthday, she still sent more than half of her salary home.

Cher has a date, someone who loves herself deeply and loves herself deeply. However, Cher also knows that without consulting her family, this is likely to have a wordless ending. Going home at the end of the year, Cher takes her date home. As expected, in the abusive voice of her father, Cher left in a hurry with her partner. As expected, Cher left the person she loved deeply. As expected, the desperate Cher raised a sharp knife at herself. This time, unexpectedly, Cher didn't achieve her goal.

Cher, who felt desperate and helpless about life, casually married a man. Cher took her husband and children back to her mother's house when her son was eight months old. The banquet at the table didn't stop her father from abusing Cher. The two younger brothers are sensible, and it is useless to persuade their father with their older brothers. That day, Cher didn't move a mouthful of rice, didn't say a word, tearfully picked up the child and followed her husband to the hotel.

Unable to understand Cher, the husband asked Cher more than once, "Is he your biological father?" Cher can't explain her husband's problems. The husband went to Cher's house and brought everything back to her husband's family, who changed their attitude towards Cher. My sister-in-law is critical of Cher in every way, and her mother-in-law is even more cynical about Cher. Cher didn't explain anything. Years of habits have made her taciturn, even if it is a big grievance, Cher can bear it. She tries hard to run her own home and wants to give her son a harmonious home. Patience can't buy respect and pain can't be understood. After facing the abuse from her husband's family again, Cher lifted the table and stared at her husband's outstretched hand with cold eyes.

Although Cher no longer mentions her maiden to anyone, in her dreams, she always dreams of her father's slapping and abuse. Strangely, I occasionally dream of my father's rare ashamed face and the finger that bandaged his cut. She no longer hates her father and that home, but years of habits make her unwilling to go back to that home.

It was not until her father was lying in the hospital morgue that Cher hurried back to her family. In the morgue, Cher was so close to her father for the first time. Looking at her father's calm face, Cher couldn't believe it was true. Will her father really stop abusing her?

Cher quietly came to her father. She slowly touched his hand, which was still warm.

Cher doesn't understand. How come? How can this often hit her hand? How can this be my father's hand? What a warm hand this is. Cher grabbed her father's hand and couldn't help crying. Her heart was twitching. She knelt beside her father. At present, my father's frightened eyes appear, and his left ring finger is slightly painful, which is where his father's hand has been squeezed hard. Don't do this, don't! Cher shouted in her mind. If you can exchange your pain for your father's survival, Cher is willing.

A wisp of light smoke sent away her father, and Cher silently watched the light smoke slowly disperse. In a trance, my father seemed to stand in front of her again, reaching out to beat her hand on weekdays and gently helping Cher wipe away the tears on her face.

When my father left, it was near early winter, and the temperature difference between day and night in the north was large. The air in the morning was very cold, and a cold wind made Cher tremble all over. My brother came and held Cher's trembling shoulders and put his clothes on Cher's body. Cher gently ask elder brother:

"Elder brother, will you treat your daughter like my father did to me?"

"Cher, no, I won't be like my father. I will treat my daughter well. " Brother's words are very firm, hitting the floor.

Cher is relieved. Yes, a wisp of smoke ended her father's era and Cher's long-term palpitation. Cher deeply understands that everything seems to be over, the disappearing running water can take away all the resentment, and the warm sunshine can shine all over every corner. The years are quietly passing, and everything can be forgotten, but the affection in the bones will never be forgotten. Blood is thicker than water!