The joke of father earthworm?

1, five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, and called the hundred-dollar bill: "Hey! Your son is here. If you don't want us to kill the ticket, you can exchange yourself for him! " The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said, "tear it up, you don't even have five dollars!" " "2. A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. Man: "I want a wife." ... the magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, "I'm starving and covet beautiful women!" Pathetic! "Then he disappeared. Man: "... cake. "3. The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come on, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail climbed up ... Soon ... the tortoise saw an ant again and said to him: Come up, too ... So the ant came up. When the ant appeared ... he saw the snail on it ... and said to him, Hello, do you know what the snail said? Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast ... 4. A man and a woman are eating. Girls keep asking boys: Do you love me? The boy looked at the girl and went on eating dinner. The girl was very angry and asked, Do you love me? The boy finally said: Love girls, and asked: Then how do you prove it? Suddenly, the boy took out thirty dollars from his pocket and asked the girl, do you have ten dollars? The girl gave the boy ten yuan ... the boy put forty yuan on the table for a while ... The girl was very angry and asked the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me? The boy said: I have been proved! Forty is just around the corner! One day, I visited a snack street and found a shop selling egg towers. Each kind looks delicious. I want to buy one to try. I asked the clerk: Is this sold separately? Shop assistant: No, it's Japanese. 6. ""I can't see things too far away, "the patient said to the ophthalmologist," Please follow me. "The doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. What do you think that is? " "the sun." The patient replied, then how far do you want to see! "7. One day, the animals smelled an unpleasant smell in front of Guan Gong Temple. The snake said: I am too young to fart so smelly. It must be a cow. The cow said: I eat grass, and I won't fart so smelly. The pig said: People who fart will blush. Suddenly, Guan Gong rushed out and drove the pig away, saying, How many times have I told you, I was born blushing. 8. One day, a man met God ... God suddenly showed great kindness and planned to give him a wish ... God asked ... Do you have any wishes? The man thought about it ... I heard that cats have nine lives ... Please give me nine lives ... God said ... your wish has come true ... That man is idle and bored ... He wants to say death ... In short, he has nine lives and is lying on the railroad track ... As a result, a train passes by ... that man is still dead ... Why? Because the carriage of that train has 10 section ... 9. One day, three people were sent from the funeral home. Strangely, their smiles after death are all ... The funeral home manager asked pol.ice: Why are their faces after death? The policeman said: It's a long story ... Look at the man on the left ... He and his wife are in the spring night ... at the most passionate moment ... He can't stand it ... The administrator replied: Alas ... I'd rather die in the flowers ... Being a ghost is also very romantic. Policeman: The one in the middle ... Oh, he ... is really a human tragedy ... He was walking on the road ... Suddenly, he heard that he won the first prize ... the prize was over 700 million yuan ... When he was laughing happily ... he was hit by an oncoming car ... and then he died ... Policeman: ... It's a pity that this one died ... He was killed while climbing a tree. The administrator replied: ... this is a bit wrong. Why did he laugh when he was struck by lightning? ... the policeman said: because he thought ... after climbing the tree, suddenly a flash of lightning ... he thought. .........