How to get back together with your ex, in fact, only these three strategies are needed.

How to get back together with your ex, in fact, only these three strategies are needed.

Everyone is an independent individual, and everyone's personality, family background, education level, etc. also have their own dry autumn. There are no two people exactly the same in the world. Getting along and communicating through time is an important channel for us to understand a person. Therefore, to deal with so many people of all kinds, I never thought that getting back together could be achieved in one way. This is an emotional psychological war. Knowing your goals is the key to your success.

The first strategy of salvation is to learn to put yourself in others' shoes. The biggest mistake in feelings is to understand each other in a self-righteous way. For example, when the other person doesn't need to care, you just need to show your thoughtfulness. Since you want to save him, you must understand what the other party really needs.

In the early days of redemption, the last thing the other party needs is that you keep apologizing, because he doesn't want to communicate now, and the other party doesn't need to see your sincerity, because she just wants to be alone at the moment.

So when chatting with him, you should minimize your concern and your apology. Your conversation should minimize the content that needs his reply. Try not to talk to him and try not to disturb him. This is the key. What should I say?

Pay attention to this sentence, which should be an apology, a concern and a conclusion. For example, "I'm sorry to bother you earlier. I heard you were a little overwhelmed. I will reflect on it and hope that you will recover as soon as possible. "

You don't need to go back to this one. I hope you will work harder. "This sentence contains an apology, concern and the final conclusion. This is a communication for his sake. The important thing is how to relieve his pressure, understand?

As for all other routines, they are unchangeable, which is the core communication strategy during the recovery period.

Learn to give people a sense of security

Let's look at the first sentence of the following sentence first. Can you talk to me normally? Why does it have to be like this? Can't we just talk? Second, I really like you. I can't live without you. I knew that I had made a mistake. Can you give me another chance?

The expressions of these two sentences include apology, confession and final accusation, because you don't want to say it and express your aggression. In the face of these aggressiveness, he will instinctively feel incomplete, and he will feel your hostility to him. Then he has no reason to reason with you calmly, and there is no way to feel your true feelings.

Under normal circumstances, if you talk to him and he ignores you, you should stop chasing him. The more you do this, the less he wants to talk to you. Anyone who sees such a long and short essay will get bored.

When you start a conversation, there are four possibilities.

First, he replied to your message in a short time. At this time, you can reply in seconds or continue to extend the topic with him.

Second, it took him half a day to come back. You can also let him have the same time and then continue the topic.

Third, it took him a day to reply to you, so you can open a new topic the next day.

Fourth, he hasn't answered you yet. You can start a new topic on the third day.

The frequency of this reply is called mirror method, which can establish a safe social distance with each other and avoid unnecessary insecurity and anxiety.

It is also the core of complex and reasonable communication.

The essence of reorganization is actually communication, but this communication channel is difficult to open. Once opened, I am most afraid of closing this channel again because I can't speak. In our communication, a smooth expression formula is apology or introspection, plus an invitation to confess or a complete recognition, plus exemption, MINUS infringement.

Let me give you an example. If you two have been unhappy before, and now he refuses you, then you can try to say it. I want to apologize for what happened before. I deeply reflected on my behavior, but I was too naive. But I really admired you in the past and regarded you as a very important person to me. During this time, I thought a lot. I hope I can go out for dinner with you and have a simple talk with you in the future.

Of course, although you are very important, I have regarded you as my important friend, and it is no problem if you are inconvenient. I know you are busy recently, so you should pay attention to your health. This is introspection plus confession plus invitation plus security identity plus exemption, and finally add a conclusion.

You see, so even if you say more, it won't make him feel disgusted, but it will make him think that you have really changed.

You must master the whole background of this relationship and avoid taking it step by step.

This way of crossing the river by feeling the stones, first of all, will make you very discouraged, and this process will also be a kind of torture, but the mentality is usually the first to stand this mode.