Funny joke: not from our village. ......

Idiot anecdote

Daughter-in-law got pregnant and gave birth to a big fat boy. The whole family is in high spirits. But that boy doesn't look like a fool at all, and the longer he grows, the more he looks like the second dog next door. Mother became suspicious and asked the fool, "What did you do with your daughter-in-law at night?" "Sleep." "Did you sleep with your wife?" "She won't let me hug, and I don't want to hug." "Did you and your wife do it?" "What's the matter?" Mom said stupidly, "What did you pee in your daughter-in-law's urine?" The fool shook his head like a rattle: "I won't be as stupid as two dog!" Look at him peeing there, squatting on my daughter-in-law for a long time, tired as a dead dog. "

second

Not from our village.

There was an accident in the coal mine. The woman in the village was called to identify an unknown man's body with only his lower body left.

Woman a looked at it: not my man, not the village head, nor the village party secretary;

Female B: Not my brother-in-law, not a village accountant;

A widow came over and touched it: hey, go home, not from our village!

third place

Sleep with hundreds of animals.

There is a fashionable lady in an expensive mink coat in the street. A man from the Animal Protection Association rushed up to her and shouted at her, "Do you know how many animals you have to kill to make this dress?"

The lady replied coldly, "I don't know, but I know I have to sleep with hundreds of animals to save money to sell this dress."

fourth

seaman

There was a sailor who had been at sea for several months and had just landed. I rushed to a porn hotel. He told the porter that he wanted to find a girl to do it, but he had no money in his pocket. The concierge said it would cost 40 yuan to fuck this girl. It costs 20 yuan to watch a sex show. But this guy gambled all his money on the boat, leaving only five dollars. "Please, brother. I am at sea. I haven't published it for months. Try to help! Sailors kept begging. The porter thought about it, took the money, took the sailor to a room upstairs and left. Entering the room, the sailor looked around except for a rooster (real chicken! ), nothing. It was the last straw, and the sailor persuaded himself to climb on the ground and fuck a "chicken" to solve the temporary fire. Then leave quietly! Two weeks later, the sailor came back. " What can 20 yuan do here? "。 This time, he won some money and the porter took it. Without saying anything, he led the water upstairs again. But came to the door of another room. Pushing open the door, the sailor saw a single-sided mirror on the wall, surrounded by a large group of people, watching two women playing with each other through the mirror. "It's fucking beautiful! "The sailor was fascinated and couldn't help commenting on the people standing beside him. "It's nothing to see! The friend replied without looking back, "If you had come two weeks earlier, you would have seen a boy having sex with a rooster there." "

Fifth place

A hint from a beautiful secretary

A leader has a very charming female secretary, who fell in love with her at first sight. One day, he drove his female secretary home late at night and couldn't help but want to start work. But he deeply blamed himself. How can he have evil thoughts about a comrade? But after a while, the leader finally couldn't stand it, and secretly put his hand into her underwear ~

The female secretary felt very shy and blushed. She said, "Leader, do you read Advanced Education in party member?"

I read.

"Do you know what is written in the third line on page 366 of Advanced Education in party member?"

"……"

The leader felt very ashamed and drew back his hand.

As soon as the leader got home, he found Advanced Education in party member and turned to page 366. When you see the third line-Comrade party member, you should tear off all the fig leaf and expose the essence.

Sixth

Just call your last name.

The village chief asked a village woman, How many children do you have?

Woman: Ten.

Village head: What's the name of your child?

Woman: Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming, Xiao Ming.

Village head: Ah, what do you call them when you call them?

W: That's easy. I'll just call them by their last names! !

Seventh place

Jack and the rotten tire

A long-distance driver went to a restaurant for dinner on the way to transport goods. As soon as I entered the restaurant, I saw the waiter snickering, only to find that Kutz's zipper was not zipped. He quickly zipped up and asked the waiter, "What did you see just now?" The waiter smiled and replied, "Nothing, just a jack and two rotten tires."

No.8

Smelly b

There is a salesman selling washing powder. One day ... he came to the door of a house. The door was opened by a middle-aged woman. He said, can you give me a wool dress? After that, the woman took off her pajamas and took them to the shop assistant. As soon as the salesman washed it, he said, it's fragrant and clean. Then she asked the lady for a fiber dress, and the lady gave the bra to the shop assistant. The salesman washed it and said it was fragrant and clean. Finally ... he asked a woman for nylon clothes ... and the woman took off her underwear. Washing ... the salesman didn't speak ... the woman asked, how does it work? The salesman said, don't buy my washing powder.

Ninth place

Find someone to work overtime and have a little brother.

Mother asked her little daughter what she wanted most for her birthday, and her daughter said loudly, "I want a little brother." Mom replied, "Mom and Dad are also willing to give birth to a little brother for you, but there is not enough time to prepare a little brother for you before your birthday." The daughter wondered, "Then why don't you do it like dad's factory?" ? If they have something to catch up with, they will find more people to work overtime. "

No. 10

Comfort his wife.

A man in a black suit went to the drugstore and bought a black condom! Boss: No black ones. My sworn brother just passed away. I'm going to comfort his wife It is more appropriate to use black politely. ......