Never look at your boyfriend’s chat history!

I feel more and more that if I can hand my phone to someone with peace of mind, then the other person must be a sworn friend.

The mobile phone is no longer a simple communication tool, it carries all of a person's life. Including all the little secrets and dark sides of the heart, they are vividly displayed in various browsing histories and chat records.

Therefore, when we urgently need a sense of security in love, the first thing we do subconsciously is to look through our lover’s chat history.

Many girls told me that at the beginning of a relationship, it was like having a radar all over their bodies. When their boyfriends were chatting with her, they would send emoticons that they would not normally use, or use modal particles that they would never use, and they would be particularly worried. You must open his phone and look through it from inside to out to feel at ease.

In fact, not only girls, but also boys will check girls’ mobile phones out of curiosity. The ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine not only frequently checks her chat records, but also goes through her photo albums and Taobao records carefully.

I have seen too many couples quarreling over whether to check chat history or not. Some people think that this is a sign of concern and proves how much they care about each other, but others think that lovers should keep each other's distance and privacy.

So, should you read your lover’s chat history? Is a sufficient sense of security created by being allowed to browse chat records at will?

I interviewed five friends who are in love. Some of them are students, some are white-collar workers, and they are just one of you and me. Come and listen to their opinions. Maybe it will be helpful to you, or maybe it will help you understand the person around you better.

02

@大楷

Senior game art designer, responsible for the illustrations and game character settings of many well-known online games. A game original artist who can rely on his face, but relies on his talent to make a living.

1. Can you read your partner’s chat history?

No, I think this is to respect the privacy of the other half. In interpersonal relationships, everyone has more or less despicable, ugly and dark sides. Some can be shared, and some cannot.

2. Would you allow your significant other to look through your chat history?

I won’t look through my partner’s phone, and I also hope that the other half will not look through my phone in a fair and equal way. If you want to read the chat history, I hope you won't do it secretly, but explain it to me first. This is also a sign of respect for me.

3. What do you think couples who trust each other look like?

You can see each other's appearance in the pupils of both parties, carrying a heart of trust, not restricting your partner's freedom, and at the same time restraining your own freedom with a sense of responsibility.

4. How to improve the sense of security in love?

If love wants to be kept fresh for a long time, it must continuously increase the attraction to each other. Often most insecurities come from low self-esteem.

5. What advice do you have for men and women in love?

I am not a great relationship person. How can He Dehe give advice to men and women in love? But as someone who has experienced it, I hope that when facing love, one must be rational and loyal to one's heart. Stop being impetuous and be steady and steady.

@ Agnes

A traditional media practitioner whose main job is writing, side job is interviewing, and amateur photography.

1. Would you allow your significant other to look through your chat history?

I delete them immediately after chatting.

2. What do you think of couples who trust each other?

I think that if a couple does not have 100% mutual trust based on emotion, their relationship will change. Trust is more based on the character of the other person. Both parties are honest and responsible. I think this is the type of couple with higher trust.

3. How to improve the sense of security in love?

Make yourself more unique.

4. Would you be interested in your partner’s social circle? For example, take the initiative to ask them to introduce you to their friends.

Yes, he will judge his personal qualities from his friends.

5. Will you announce your love in Moments?

If I'm serious, I will.

6. Where does the sense of security in love come from?

Confidence and the other person’s response. For example, if an incident occurs that makes you lose your sense of security, you will confirm your sense of security in the relationship based on the other person's attitude and method of solving the matter, and you will also adjust the proportion of your investment in a timely manner based on the other person's response.

@官网 molly girl

Born in 1995, I like painting and traveling alone. Now I am thinking about the meaning of life alone in Lhasa.

1. Can you read your partner’s chat history?

I read it once, he chatted with a girl for a long time, and the girl asked him to send gifts and other things, and to have various dinner dates. I remembered the girl's name and asked them not to contact her again. But that day I accidentally saw her sending a message and looked through the chat history.

2. Would you allow your significant other to look through your chat history?

My phone has his fingerprint and can unlock the phone. I usually give him my phone.

3. Will you announce your love in Moments?

I will announce it and tell the world. Because I think the most basic thing is to acknowledge his relationship.

4. Would you be interested in your partner’s social circle? For example, take the initiative to ask them to introduce you to their friends.

He would take the initiative to take me to meet his friends, family, and parents.

5. What advice do you have for men and women in love?

Really don’t fall in love for the sake of marriage, as it will deviate from your original intention. Marriage is something that happens naturally, not the original purpose. Don't start a relationship too casually, and don't give up a relationship too casually.

@小赵

One of the country’s largest food delivery companies is recruiting the man behind the public account.

1. Can you read your partner’s chat history?

I looked through it before and saw some things that might make my head change color. It’s quite embarrassing. Asking the other person would be exposing the fact that you looked at other people’s phones without permission. Don’t ask, just keep it to yourself. I'm holding back the discomfort, so I won't turn over it now.

When you decide to check the other person’s phone to verify some assumptions that bother you, your intuition will basically tell you the answer in advance, so it doesn’t matter whether you check it or not.

2. What do you think of couples who trust each other?

For me, there are two aspects.

In terms of behavior: do not interfere with each other’s lives, give each other the privacy and space they deserve, communicate simply and directly, and even if you have doubts or dissatisfaction, ask questions in person.

The psychological manifestation is: she puts her cell phone next to you and you are too lazy to look through it. Any of her male friends will not make you feel a threat to your relationship.

3. How to improve the sense of security in love?

Improving your sense of security can be said to be a metaphysics. For me, sense of security is mutual. It is full at the beginning, but it will only decrease but not increase. Once the other party does something, you will not be safe. When it comes to emotional things, you can never go back to the original state of complete belief. (I always feel like I’m going to be cheated on, and if I’m cheated on once, there will be another time. Don’t ask me how I know...)

Find someone reliable, treat her well, and you’ll still be cheated on. life.

4. Would you be interested in your partner’s social circle? For example, take the initiative to ask them to introduce you to their friends.

I’m not very interested, because her social circle is me, hahahaha, just kidding. I know all the friends she has a lot of contact with. If she needs to have contact with me, just let it happen naturally. There is no need to deliberately ask for it. Maybe I originally wanted the other half of my circle to be simpler. After all, I am still a bit sensitive. If you feel that the other person's circle of friends makes you feel insecure, then you can choose not to be together from the beginning.

5. Will you announce your love in Moments?

If I am in love, I will make it public but not in the circle of friends.

For me, dating is always a matter between two people before marriage. Openness is out of respect for the other half. She needs a sense of security and needs to confirm how much I value this relationship. In addition, there is no need to let the whole world know, you are not a British prince. Moreover, the circle of friends is now theoretically the circle of work. There are too many people to be friends with, so it’s better to keep a low profile.

@JZ

Filmmaker, I meet Britain at four in the morning several times a week.

1. Will you look through the other party’s chat history, and will you allow the other party to look through your phone?

No. I value privacy very much, and I will be unhappy no matter who looks through my personal belongings without my permission. To apply myself to others, I would not look through my boyfriend’s phone or play with it. I think everyone needs a certain degree of space, but I hope the other person can be honest with me. If there is something hidden, I might be unhappy.

2. What do you think of couples who trust each other?

Speaking of what a couple is like if they trust each other, for example, the other party wants to eat alone with a girl because of some things, or because there is a movie that he particularly likes, but I am not interested and don’t want to watch it together, he can find it As long as the girls who went to see me together told me, I would be relatively indifferent.

I think it is important to have personal space and personal friends. If the other person loses their friend space and self because of me, I will feel that this person is no longer attractive.

3. Would you be interested in your partner’s social circle? For example, take the initiative to ask them to introduce you to their friends.

Yes, I think two people will usually tell each other about the things they encounter in life, study and work, so that they will definitely know each other's circle of friends and social circle. As for whether we must meet in person, it depends on the other person. It would be nice to see each other once in a while, but I think it may not be necessary to become super close buddies with each other's friends.

4. Will you announce your love in Moments?

Yes. I may occasionally post photos and fun things, but I won’t post them every day. Originally, this was my own business. There was no need to show it off every day, and I wouldn't show it off every day. After all, I still have my own life, and life is not just about falling in love.

03

In fact, I was also keen on checking my boyfriend’s chat history. The root cause was distrust.

I have seen him talking to other girls all night long after saying good night, and I have also seen him with countless beauties. The bigger the black hole of doubt in my heart becomes, the more I want to explore places that exude dangerous atmosphere. after all.

Can checking chat history make my relationship better? Not really.

Any clues will be infinitely magnified by me, and then the two of them will quarrel and have a cold war. I know very well in my heart that the relationship between the two of us cannot continue like this, but this feeling of "knowing that you can't do it but doing it" is like Pandora's box, which can never be closed again after being opened even a little.

Until one day I found a sentence saved in his text message draft box, "Little Piggy, I miss you." At that moment, I not only felt like there were ten thousand Pleasant Goats running above my head, but I also felt a sense of relief - having determined the ending, I no longer had to live such a frightening life.

There are various secrets on the Internet to improve the sense of security in love. One of them is to set a fingerprint unlock code on your mobile phone for the other person.

But I feel that trust is when two people are close to each other, rather than connecting through mobile phones. Otherwise, it is meaningless to reluctantly cooperate against the original intention.

Just like Xiao Zhao’s answer, when I want to be with you, no one can break me apart, but when I change my heart, I can’t keep you.

Including the matter of checking chat records, whether you openly show your mobile phone to the other party, or you want to respect the other party and leave enough personal space for each other, as long as the two people reach an agreement, then no matter where All methods can give enough trust.

Because you trust each other and not the other person’s phone.