A letter to the cheating husband.

When I wrote these two words, my hands and heart trembled at the same time. Because I know another woman who called you that. Besides, this may be the last time I call you like this.

? You came back from other places on New Year's Day holiday. I was looking forward to your return a month before you came back and decided to run our family well. You said you had a good time these days! The next day, you will leave. On the same day, you send your children to school. After breakfast, I fried your favorite dish. I accidentally saw your mobile phone, so I picked it up and looked at it. As if fate had instructed me to open it, I saw you waiting for a woman from 10 in the evening, with a tearful expression. At half past ten in the evening, a woman said, Yan, I'll come to see you as soon as I get off work tomorrow. I'm ready to take a shower. You are not in the game. You said: I thought you were coming now. The woman said: Yan, I can't accept that you are alone in the room.

You said: outside, go back alone without company. Most importantly, I can't see you in your city. I was confused in an instant.

It took me a long time to read the jargon: the woman said

Don't be too strict. I'm too sad to be with you. I will accompany you twice tomorrow to comfort you.

You said: Stop it. If you can't change it, just rest and leave me alone. The woman said: Be good, go home quickly, it's cold outside. Yan, I can't be with you for one night, but I miss you all the time, which makes me feel even worse. Yan, you go back to the hotel room and give me information and take pictures of me, otherwise I will be worried.

These lines, all as big as meteorites, hit me like thunder without warning, smashing my insides to pieces.

? I can hear my heart shaking and my heart beating faster and faster. I'm afraid I can't stop beating.

Thank you for letting me know the meaning of wearing a heart.

There are still many voice chat records that I haven't had time to listen to. With the sound of the key opening the door, I quickly turned off my mobile phone and pretended to let you have breakfast as if nothing had happened. You go to the toilet with your mobile phone, and soon you find that I moved your mobile phone and deleted everything on the sofa, except the woman who is your wife in the game. In September this year, in the game, I said that Yan Yan and I are getting married tonight, so let's join in the fun! There is a message at the bottom that says: I am more concerned about your offline wedding.

? I was silent, just doing my own thing, and my heart kept shaking. At a temperature of a few degrees below zero, it is not my body that is cold, but my heart. At that moment, it seemed to be frozen, and it was cold from the inside out. I went to my room and got a blanket. Now that you're here, I suggest you go to bed and tuck in. I agreed, it's time to hold a farewell ceremony, because I don't know if I want you to touch my body again after today. You hugged me, and you said that you and Bao had worked hard all these years. From the birth of the child to the child's fourth birthday, I have never heard you say it. I cried, not because you said that I was moved by my efforts, although I had been looking forward to this for a long time, but because I thought that my efforts had brought you an affair, and that you had sex with another woman in bed, and I burst into tears!

? After crying, we were released, and we lay and chatted. The atmosphere is relaxed and happy, although I am crying in my heart. I asked how long have we known each other and been married? I've known you for sixteen years, married you for eight years, and you said it without thinking. How time flies. Sixteen years have passed in a blink of an eye, as if my palms were still sweating, and as if I had a stomachache on the tourist train together yesterday. I was so anxious and distressed that I kept rubbing my head against your stomach all night until I finally fell asleep on you in the morning. It seems that a baby was born by caesarean section yesterday, and the wound was very painful because of anesthetic. You massaged me, but I didn't sleep a wink all night. We each recalled a lot of memories when we were in love and knew each other, and also confessed to you that someone called me on the wedding night you mentioned before, but I refused them and chose you without hesitation, because I love you, your sense of responsibility, your kindness and simplicity.

I really don't believe that you would cheat. When we were in love, you refused to cross the last line for fear that I would get pregnant. You have been thinking about me, and that was the moment when I made up my mind to marry you. I also deluded myself into thinking that maybe you were just playing, and I didn't even want to ask you for proof. I was afraid that the truth after confirmation would make me feel bad, so I just asked you about your life outside. I hope I'm wrong, or I just had a nightmare. This nightmare is not unheard of. But I hope you don't lie to me. If you only rely on deception to maintain a relationship, there is no need to continue.

I didn't ask about the text message. I don't want to ask naked questions like others. I want to leave a favor to the father of my child. I just asked about the place and time of your business trip, and you showed it to me, hiding the fact of going to her city. In fact, the address and time in the photo reveal that you deliberately concealed it. What you said was just the language in the game, and nothing like this happened. Frankly speaking, you don't want to admit what happened with this woman when you went to the sauna to vent. This way is just counterproductive, just like when we were young, we did two bad things and had to admit that we have always been like this. Besides, how can you be sure that I won't pursue your whoring? What self-control does a person who can't control his lower body have? You are right, saying that I even told you this. What do you want? So do many people. Yes, many people have self-control and many people don't, but that doesn't mean you should do what many people do. What else do you want? What kind of attitude is this? Frankly, there seems to be some merit. Should I reward you for your frankness? If you think it's wrong, don't say it and don't do it again. I have mixed feelings in my heart, watching you constantly refresh my understanding of you.

? I know very well that I won't stop if I don't want to wipe it. Some people deliberately want to hide it, so there is no need to ask. You didn't apologize to me or promise me. You just dragged me back to the past, pretending that nothing happened, waiting for my parents' orders like a child who did something wrong: nothing, go play! Write it off! Because you're afraid I'll really make a living like I said.

? I am not stubborn, on the contrary, I comforted you. Not that I can really be so free and easy. No matter what you do to your family, I have no principle to tolerate you. As you said, when we rented a house outside Guangzhou, I tolerated you, forbeared you, and forgave you, even when I didn't know it. I don't know if you had all kinds of lovers in the game at that time. You poured out all your tender feelings to them, just like you said when you proposed to this woman in the game: If the relationship is long, it won't last forever. Dear Zhang Zhi, I am just an ordinary person. I just want to be with you all the time! You sent this sentence three or four times, waiting for the other party to respond, and the screenshot is kept as a souvenir! I didn't even find your original poetic and romantic side. Looking back on our proposal, you never proposed to me, but I proposed to you, that's all. Life is always like this, joking with us in this way!

Getting up to cook, trying to clear my mind, like duckweed in the pond, can't find the direction.

? You also think that I really let go of my guilt, still playing my own game, and still living a husband-and-wife life with that woman in the virtual world. In fact, I have already turned virtual into reality, or you have never lived in your virtual world and never stayed in the real world.

I'm stupid. In fact, there are already signs. We rented a house in Guangzhou as early as 10 years later. You come back to play games day and night. We eat and you play games. When I woke up from my sleep, you were still playing games. What time is it at midnight? We haven't been married long. You never care that I live alone, and you don't care about having children and exercising. How many times have I lost my temper and said that you want to marry me or play games? It's no use locking the door. You still go your own way. Today I realized that it's true that you didn't marry me. You just married the game. Even so, I still love living with you, thinking that you will grow up and give you more time. You always give me chicken soup and say it's just your hobby, not eating, drinking, whoring and gambling! Many times, you don't compare with the hard-working people, but concentrate on comparing with the worst people. If you are better than them, you will feel very good. I also have a misunderstanding, and you sent me away in a few words. I put up with it and wanted to have a baby, but we just couldn't. We couldn't get pregnant for a year, and finally we got pregnant and fell off. At that time, God told me not to persist in another way. Today, it seems that he may just want to give me a chance, a chance for me not to hurt myself and Bao Xiao. No little angel wants to be born in such a family, like home? Am I treated as a wife? What you love is not me in the real world, but your virtual world and your virtual world wife. But I wasted God's kindness and made my little baby suffer all kinds of pains from birth.

? In that family environment, I was furious, depressed and unhappy every day, and I didn't adjust myself twice. I still remember a miscarriage deeply, and I was only discharged for a few days. You let me rest and take care of me. I went to my classmate's house to play mahjong for a few days and cried nonstop. I still choose to forget, I like to forget those unhappy things too much. Even chilling once, twice and countless times. That's why there is such a bottomless tolerance, forgive! The biggest mistake I made was not to stop immediately, but to wrap my broken heart, lick, lift or turn myself into complaining about you, not caring, complaining, making noise, hating iron and not turning it into steel, saying it was difficult to obey. The tenderness, openness and rationality of the past are gone. I have become a person who annoys you and yourself. You are bored, we rarely communicate and solve problems, and contradictions are only accumulated a little. I can't help you if you spend all your mind on the game.

? The tragedy has just begun. After hard work, I finally got pregnant and gave birth to a child. I resigned and went back to my hometown. From then on, we live far apart. I have never felt that I can be so good alone, and my heart is very calm. I don't have to fly a dog to jump anymore. I didn't think deeply about the contradiction between us, just escaped, and even looked forward to my life and life after having children. All kinds of discomfort during pregnancy, unable to eat, vomiting and nausea. I never think that giving birth is more painful than abortion. But you can't understand or feel it. You are absent from giving birth, giving birth and taking care of children. Because you have been working in other places, I have been urging you to decorate the house. In fact, I want to spend it together, but you just don't pretend. Maybe you are tired of our life together, or you prefer to live a free life with those women outside. I brought up my child day and night from the confinement, and I was sick and crying all by myself. The morning after you found out you cheated, you were still sleeping. On weekends, the baby wakes up early, crying noisily all the time, and wants to eat when he is hungry. After a while, you couldn't stand her noise and impatience, saying that Bao couldn't get up at school, and she woke up in the early morning of the weekend to torment me noisily, but you know what? It has been such a day since she was born. How many times better than I didn't know before? How much do you know? How long have you been with me? Once every two months, once every three or four months, for a few days at a time, less than 30 days a year. We seldom communicate with each other. Even if you communicate, you just accuse your parents of inaction. You're tired of listening, and there are fewer phones. You can even call without contact for months. I don't know what you're doing outside, and I'm not worried. Even when my mother was worried, I said she was blind. You're not like this.

? I always thought I knew you very well, and I was so accurate in judging people. The man who pursued me with a playboy refused at first sight, just didn't want to compete with other women for a man at the end of his life. I have no such idea, and I don't want to tear it with my hands.

? Reality will still slap in the face

? I didn't sleep the night I found out about the affair. You snore like thunder beside me.

? For a few days, I looked calm on the surface, but I was calm inside. All I can think of is our past and our beautiful photos. We still had a happy day, didn't we? It's not the last day when we spend less time together and more time apart in college. I am reluctant to go to the station, and I can't wait to hold each other into my life. When did we lose sweet talk and entanglement? After all, you are still obsessed with the game. My heart has been left out again and again. After being hurt again and again, we fell in love for a long time and got married. Maybe you are tired of looking for your passion or different freshness in the game. Every time I come back from work, the happiest thing is the moment you enter the door, and then sit down and enter your own game. You can't hear anything I say until I wake up from sleep and want to communicate, but I complain. This situation is therefore a vicious circle.

? I don't seem to care. I just taste like chewing wax. I'll do whatever you ask me to do. When cooking, handing clothes, or nailing buttons, I will secretly cry. I think this should be the last time. When I do this, I think all I can think of is the conversation between you and our lives over the years.

While I am sweating and cooking, waiting on my daughter to eat and drink Lazar, and dragging a mop to wipe the corner of my house, you are in love with someone else.

I don't know what kind of sweet words you have, nor how many times you have been warm and moved. I thank you for letting me see this, otherwise I will have to repair myself in this life.

You still talk and laugh with others, play games or watch games by yourself, but you just don't talk to me and ask me if I'm sad.

? I watched you continue to play the game, and that woman didn't delete it. You discussed it, let her block you, and I won't see her circle of friends. I watch you like this, and my heart is cold inch by inch.

After you left, there was a huge stone in my heart, and I felt uneasy about everything I did. I often feel that I am in a daze and have no love. Every conversation of yours is branded in my heart. It hurts to think about it, and I start to lose sleep. You know I always regard going to bed on time as the most important thing, but now I can't sleep because I toss and turn every day. It's easy to forgive someone, but it's not so easy to rebuild trust. It takes many years to warm a heart, but it only takes a moment to cool it.

But there are two sides to extramarital affairs. Two people must be bored at the same time, or one side must sever this relationship with a very tough attitude and firm determination. But then again, when a person has such strong determination and self-control, he won't enter this feeling at all, so this is a false proposition in itself.

? Although you always say that Bao Xiao and I are the most important, you love us. Maybe when I show my cards to you, you will say it's just a moment of confusion, or you won't admit it at all. You love us so much that you don't want to leave home. Is it true?/You don't say. No man loves his wife and children deeply and can have sex with other women. Really love a person, how can you let her experience such a thing? The so-called confession is just an expedient measure to weigh the pros and cons. When he took that step, he didn't love his wife, at least not that much.

Because of lack of love, we will not restrain our behavior. In a different place, when we love a man deeply, will we be confused and derailed for a while?

Although you cheated on me, you would say that you have always been good to me. I feel very sad. What is "good"? Knowing that cheating would be sad, I went out anyway. Is this good for me? Even though I know that the broken heart is torturing my heart, is it good for me to go my own way Is it good for me to know that the days of suffering will make my health worse and worse, but still turn a blind eye?

In this world, men are only kind to women: respect her, cherish her, and don't let her be accompanied by pain and injustice. Only on this premise can other goodwill be meaningful, otherwise no matter how much sugar is put in arsenic, it will not change the fact that it is enterotoxic. ? I'm asking you to treat me badly.

? I don't think you will give up this game. How many times have I threatened you to play again over the years? The game will eventually become the reason for our separation. Even so, you will never leave the game and the family in the game. I was right. Since I can't abandon them, I can only ask you to abandon me and Bao Xiao.

I don't want to think that it's not easy for you to cry for yourself here. It is difficult to take care of the baby. Since I don't love her, how can I care about her efforts and efforts? A man only cares about what he cares about. Also, you said that you are a woman in her forties and fifties, and her daughter is going to college. It's hard to say. If someone gives birth before the age of 20, they are only in their thirties, which is not much different from our age. If they are too big, don't they just make up for your lack of maternal love? You set the cheating partner at the age of married women, and you conclude that people will not come to you. On the one hand, I continue to enjoy the warm family of my wife and daughter, on the other hand, I can look for long-lost passion and wildness, tenderness and sweetness from time to time. So you want to take care of both, and now you find that you try your best to stabilize us with all kinds of beautiful life tomorrow, and never mention your romance outside. Are you overestimating your ability to lie or underestimating my IQ?

? It is true that in this affair, I will be more or less responsible, at least in the management of marriage, I don't have enough sensitivity and ability to solve the problems in marriage. That is not to say, as long as it is an derailed marriage, the derailed party needs to bear all the responsibilities, while the other party has no fault. Cheating is just one of them, and it can't cover up all the problems in marriage.

I always think that all kinds of bad things about women, such as bad temper and being too strong, can be used as reasons for the other party to divorce, but they are by no means legitimate reasons for the other party to cheat.

I have a lot of problems that you don't want to put up with. You can choose to divorce and find a partner who meets the requirements. This is legally and morally permissible. No one has the right to say, because if you marry a person, no matter how bad the other person is, you must be tied together for life. But you didn't do it. Men in marriage, all adults, should restrain their own behavior.

If you don't have moral and responsible self-discipline, it's useless to monitor you 24 hours a day.

? Do you think that if you say something nice and paint a bright future, I can stop talking about divorce? Even you are confident, no matter how you treat me, even if you play games every day, I will put up with you so that you won't say goodbye. But honey, you are wrong. I want a divorce now. This woman who has always loved you wholeheartedly, supported you and is willing to do anything for you is desperate for you. This woman who spared no effort to pay for this family, put this family first, and expected this family to get better and better decided to give up.

? A woman like me is not afraid of poverty, fatigue, pay, old age and ugliness. She is afraid that the more tired she is, the less considerate she will be, and the more she pays, the more she will be ignored by people who enjoy it. When she was old and ugly, she suddenly found that everything was particularly unworthy.

I hope you understand that divorce is not an impulse on my part, nor is it an opportunity to carefully intimidate you to go home, or even because you cheated. On the contrary, your cheating this time has made me see your indifference and selfishness thoroughly, the true face of our marriage, and what I will become if I stick to your side-exhausted, exhausted and ugly.

In fact, these experiences have always been in my heart, but I always deceive myself, cover myself up, comfort myself, and don't want to face it or admit it.

After all, you are the person I love, the father of my children, and the owner of this family that I cherish very much. I used to think that if I covered up the truth, I could go to reasonable perfection with you as if nothing had happened. But now, the emperor's new clothes have been punctured, and I can't lie to myself any more. So, me and you, let's call it a day.

I have written the divorce papers.

I will take good care of my daughter, please rest assured.

In fact, she has always been by my side, and you rarely accompany me. So she should get used to leaving you. In the future, you don't have to go back to this house that you criticized as a rental house, and meet this woman who you find unattractive and only knows how to play with her mobile phone and computer. You can be with your beloved wife aboveboard.

Maybe when the new person in front of you becomes the original you, you will get bored again, and then meet the girl who can make you live again. This year's flowers are better than last year's, but next year's flowers are better. You know who you are with.

Maybe one day, you will also think of our little happiness together. Think of the sweat on your hands when we first held hands. Think about the imperfect but happy days we spent together. Think about the days when our daughter was with us. The three of us laughed and fought together. ...

Of course it doesn't matter.

Everything has a destiny. We have come this far in our lives, and the play should be over.

There is still more than half of our lives ahead, and we each start a new line.

I think I can live a better life.

I hope you are too.