How to communicate with rebellious boys, what is the truth?

How to communicate with rebellious boys, what is the truth?

How to communicate with rebellious boys? As parents, it has a great relationship with various problems on the road of children's growth. With the arrival of adolescence, the rebellious period of children will follow, so how to communicate with rebellious boys? Let's have a look.

How to communicate with rebellious boys? What is the truth? 1

1, advance notice.

Tell him in advance the time and topic you want to discuss with him. We can't expect him to take the initiative to speak, but we will provide him with the necessary time to preprocess the upcoming conversation and collect his possible ideas.

2. Prepare food for him.

Make sure he has something to eat before you start talking. People have experienced or observed the correlation between hunger and irritability. Although your son may have a bad temper, ensuring his blood sugar level is stable will keep him focused and engaged throughout the conversation.

3. Don't give a speech.

Condense the dialogue into several points, and then ask the children to respond to these points. Being specific can reduce the poor communication and keep him talking. In addition, let him answer every question, so that parents can have a deeper understanding of their children's problem-solving process. At the same time, it is also necessary to ensure that parents participate in the dialogue, rather than children singing a monologue.

4. Set an example for children.

Parents must be strict with themselves in their daily lives, set up a good image in their children's minds, make them feel that their parents are the best, and be proud of having such parents. This has laid a good foundation for the normal communication between parents and children. Don't vent the pressure between work and husband and wife on children, learn to control your emotions, don't lose your temper with children casually, and don't be moody.

5, homeopathic methods to resolve children's emotions.

This is a psychological method. When a child has a strong rebellious attitude towards his parents, he will deliberately do something to anger his parents, with the aim of angering them. If parents are led by their children, they will fall into a very passive situation and bring the parent-child relationship to a deadlock. However, parents unexpectedly accepted his behavior and calmly accepted his resistance. Children will feel that they have cotton and have no efforts, thus changing their attitude and communicating with their parents.

6. Indirect communication.

Create a comfortable environment for important conversations, including body language and eye contact. Many children, especially teenage boys, reduce direct eye contact to make them talk more openly. In an important conversation, looking straight from top to bottom may be considered "radical" or emotionally unstable. As a result, children may shut up. Talking while walking or driving will reduce the amount of direct eye contact and naturally create a more comfortable communication environment.

7. Use physical examples.

If parents need to solve the problem that their children's rooms are always in a mess, don't just say that he never puts clothes in a basket, but walk around the room with examples. Let him pick up the scattered items and make sure they are clean or dirty. Providing tangible practical examples will help boys to deal with and remember their parents' conversations.

8. Respect his privacy.

The son needs his mother as his most trusted confidant. However, we often betray their trust intentionally or unintentionally. We may find what our son said interesting, but they don't like us repeating what they said and telling others their embarrassing things. They mean, "keep it a secret, mom!" " "

9. Stay calm.

If you fidget and speak louder, your son won't pay attention to what you want to say. If forced, he may stay in the room. But he will stop talking and shut you out.

How to communicate with rebellious boys, what to say and ask for his advice.

Asking for advice from his son does not mean that he can do whatever he wants, but it does mean that he has the right to speak. If you have been doing this since your son was a child, it will be of great help to his growth. Usually communicate with your sons, listen to their voices, and discuss with them when something happens. This practice will help them to cultivate good judgment of right and wrong. If you listen carefully, so will he.

2. Avoid embarrassing your son.

Sometimes, if your son tells you or shows that he doesn't want to talk to you, he should try to avoid saying or doing anything that might make them feel ashamed of such behavior. Embarrassing my son will only arouse their disgust and make them heartless.

Step 3 accept short answers

As the mothers of boys, it is not surprising that when they are asked questions, they get very short answers. If we can accept this concise answer and avoid asking questions, at some point, they may be more willing to share their secrets with us.

When a son really wants to talk, he usually cuts to the chase and talks as little as possible. They also want us to be concise. From experience, they don't want us to exaggerate the facts, bring up the past or talk endlessly.

4. Avoid interrupting your son.

Nothing can stop your son from finishing his speech like interrupting his train of thought. Let's face it, most of us have made this mistake, because we may think we want more, or have predicted what they will say.

Although most boys nowadays are proficient in high-tech products, they may have poor communication skills. For example, they need your help, even for a few more minutes, allowing them to express themselves completely and encouraging them to defend themselves.

5. Avoid verbal disputes.

It is necessary to find out whether to answer or not to answer the questions asked. For example, for most teenagers, something like "Where are you going?" "When will you come back?" "Who are you going with?" Such questions must be answered, not superfluous.

In this case, unless you answer the question, you will be at your own risk. Similarly, if you ask a question, you don't need to answer it (for example, how was school today? ), it is necessary for mothers to declare before asking, "Don't say it if you don't want to say it."

6. Allow questions and differences.

If parents don't let their children disagree, it's just because they think they are always right, which is a manifestation of excessive control and will make children close their hearts. Once they resist your questions, their ability to think independently will be suppressed. Then there will be no chance to question or express your opinions, and the possibility of communication will drop sharply, thus making boys lose their desire to communicate with you.

7. Don't treat your teenage son like a child.

The most common reason why teenagers stop communicating with their mothers is that they think their mothers still talk to them like three-year-old children. They've heard enough "Didn't I tell you?" In that case. Many mothers are always admonishing, reminding, belittling, reprimanding or admonishing them. This will only make them feel like losers, and their guilt will increase day by day.

How to communicate with rebellious boys? 3. Understand the psychological characteristics of adolescence.

Adolescence is a period of great changes in children's physiology and psychology. Parents must understand their children's psychological characteristics in order to guide them in the right way. Parents can understand their children's psychological characteristics in adolescence by reading books and consulting experts and teachers. With Jin Gangzuan in their hands, they can do a good job in porcelain and education and guidance.

Find someone to convince the child to enlighten him.

We often try our best to say good things, and the reason is reasonable. We thought it would be nice for the child to listen to a word, but the child just didn't go in and just wanted to hit you. So what does this mean? In a popular saying-you are not his (her) "dish"! Therefore, it is better to change the dish for the child, invite whoever the child listens to, change the environment and tell him (her) from another angle.

Don't expect too much from your children.

After all, children are children. Compared with adults, they have less experience, naive thinking and low level of understanding. Therefore, don't think that throwing a brick can produce a piece of jade immediately, and this seed can blossom and bear fruit according to your idea. It is a good wish of parents to hope that their children will be born in phoenix, but after all, children's education is a slow job. Adults must be patient with them and must not cut things that are not pleasing to the eye. Just like gardeners cultivate flowers and trees, they should be supported by minor repairs during their growth. When they mature, it is time to become a phoenix.

Care about children and see what they need.

As children grow up, they gradually have their own independent thoughts, and from time to time they tentatively show their own ideas, but they are ignored or even denied by adults, which causes a certain degree of harm to children's minds, leading them to close themselves and stubbornly act according to their own ideas, which becomes treason in the eyes of adults. So the root of the problem is that we adults don't communicate enough with our children, and we don't know what children need and want to do. If we understand their needs, treat their ideas well, guide them in time and help them implement them well, the children will definitely open their hearts and be your happy and obedient little sheep.

Make friends with your children.

Usually, children must pay attention to their own ideas and likes, even if you think his preferences are naive and boring. Considering that he is your baby, be naive and crazy with him. The key is that he won't have an unexpected sense of generation gap to play with you. Try to make friends with children. Children need you to do this.

Encourage children to increase their confidence.

Many children are stubborn, not because they are too conceited and disdainful of adults' ideas, but because they have suffered setbacks in some things, lack self-confidence, and because of the trend of self-esteem, they wrap themselves tightly and refuse their guidance, fearing that they will be hit harder if they don't do well. To this end, we should suit the remedy to the case, simmer the soup slowly, step by step, and gradually help them build up their self-confidence and let them try boldly.

Change your tone of voice to children.

Our parents' biggest mistake in educating their children is that they have the hegemonic idea of "the head of the family", don't know how to respect their children equally, and always think "I say you listen". Imagine that every adult of us has seen the strength of the leader in the work unit, had enough of the oppression of the leader, and had rebellious thoughts in our hearts. How can you bear to let your favorite child taste that mentality? So don't learn from the leaders of the unit at ordinary times.

Give children proper space and freedom.

Many parents really want to know what their children are thinking and doing, so they peek at their children's privacy, read their diaries, monitor their phone calls with extensions, and read their mobile phone messages, so that classmates and teachers can provide them with information about their children's movements as spies. Once children know, they will feel stripped of their clothes, and this trust established with their parents will disappear in an instant, and children will be very sad and hostile to their parents from the heart. Give them the necessary space and freedom, respect and trust them, and they will certainly get their respect and trust.