Tell me a joke for 1 points.

1. After the physiology class, a boy pushed the girl down and kissed her hard. Afterwards, the boy said to the girl, "I just want to practice, that's all." After listening to this, the girl pushed the boy down, kissed him and said, "Fail, make-up exam."

2. Teacher: "What is the difference between avoiding YUN TAO and parachuting?" Boy: "One protects the top and the other protects the bottom." The girl then replied, "One person was missing when the parachute broke, and one person was missing when YUN TAO broke."

3. A man went to see a psychiatrist: "I really can't stand it! My wife is cheating on me! " Psychologist: "Relax, how can I be unfaithful to you?" Man: "She goes to the bar every night and is interested in almost all men. I'm going crazy!" " Psychologist: "Don't get too excited! Tell me where this bar is "

4. The wife asked her husband," If I were crazy, would you still love me? " The husband said firmly: "Love!" The wife pondered for a while and said sadly, "You really love my appearance!" "

5. Before the wedding, the groom asked the host, "How much is it to host a wedding?" The host said: "The more beautiful the bride is, the more expensive it is!" The groom was embarrassed to give the host a dollar. The host was stunned, looked back at the bride, and then found 5 cents back.

6. The young couple share a bed with their son. In the middle of the night, the couple secretly became intimate and suddenly found that their son was gone! After searching for a long time, it turned out that my son was hiding behind the door with his knees. The husband and wife shouted: "Come back quickly, it's windy behind the door!" " The son said angrily, "don't lie, it's windy in bed!" ！”

7. The Academy of Fine Arts is having a human body class. A girl was painting and suddenly threw her pen on the ground! The girl yelled at the male model: "I'll be older and younger, but I'm still TM!"

8. One-MM breasts are particularly flat, and I am afraid that my boyfriend will know that I dislike myself, so I keep it from my boyfriend. Finally, they went to bed for the first time, turned off the lights and got into bed. . When her boyfriend touched MM's chest, she said, "Honey, don't sleep on your stomach!" "

9. The man is chatting up beautiful women in the bar. The man asked, "I wonder what kind of man beautiful women are interested in?" The beauty was silent for a while, and said in a low-key way, "Big money, coarse equipment."

1. One day, a school is having a tense exam! The exam topic is "Similarities between Bad-hearted Radish and Pregnant Women"! Only three students passed! The answer of these three students is: "It's all caused by bugs." Only one student got full marks! The answer is: "It's too late!"

11. Sleeping with your wife is your duty; Sleep comfortably and happily with mistresses; Sleeping with classmates is an old love affair; Sleeping with a rich woman is to get some extra money; Sleeping with a young lady is a contribution to foreign aid; Sleeping with widows is the spirit of Lei Feng in contemporary times!

12. The wife asked her husband, "Do you like my tenderness or are you infatuated with my sexy figure?" The husband was embarrassed for a while and replied, "I like your sense of humor!" ！”

13. Miss was taken away by the vice squad for questioning. Miss quibbled: "I just sold the two-yuan YUN TAO to 2 yuan!" " The vice squad angrily asked him, "How dare you quibble! What about later? " Miss explained: "Later ~ later, teaching him how to use it belongs to after-sales service."

14. After the tsunami, a rotting male corpse floated in the village, only the lower body can be argued! A village woman looked at it and said, "This is not my man, nor the village head, nor the accountant." The village girl looked at it and said, "This is not my brother-in-law or my brother-in-law!" At this time, a widow came over and touched it and said, "Go home, not from our village."

15. A foreigner traveled to the Forbidden City, but didn't know how to get there, so he asked someone for directions. Because foreigners confused the Forbidden City with the Forbidden City, they asked, "How can I get to the Purple Palace?" Passers-by glared at the foreigner and replied, "* * *, go to the end."

16. The wife and her husband are shopping, and the wife's skirt is suddenly blown up by the strong wind! The wife pressed her skirt in panic and shouted, "Oh, my God! Spring leaks! " The husband gave her a white look and said, "Please! It's a dirty laundry! "

17. In the bar, the man is complaining to his friend. The man complained: "I just shook hands with MM a while ago, and she was pregnant!" The friend was frightened: "Are you kidding? Can you get pregnant by shaking hands? " The man tangled and said, "Hey, I don't like washing my hands. I didn't expect her to do the same." (think about it carefully and you will understand)

18. A: "Dude, why do you look so sad?" B: "I accidentally posted my wife's luo photo online!" " A: "Then it is too early for you to be sad now. If that post sinks, you will be sad again!" " (think about it carefully, you will understand)

19. My husband was bored in the car, so he sent a text message to joke with his wife: "Little girl, give me a smile!" After a while, my wife replied, "Please respect yourself, my little girl!"

2. A man is outside the delivery room, anxiously waiting for his wife in labor. After a long time, a female nurse came out pushing a stroller with three babies. The man ran over to look at the three babies carefully and said solemnly to the nurse, "I want the middle one."

21. After the husband had an affair, his wife found out! The wife said sadly to her husband, "Why did you betray me? Am I not as good as that fox?" The husband said earnestly, "There are no couples who can't be separated, only a mistress who doesn't work hard."

22. The wife went out to collect debts, but returned empty-handed a few months later. Husband scolded: "You are really incompetent!" The wife said disapprovingly, "although I didn't get the money, the boss's child was taken hostage by me!" " The husband was overjoyed and asked, "Where are you?" The wife patted her belly and said, "It's locked in!"

23. At the party, a beautiful woman hung a small plane ornament on her chest. When a man saw it, he was greatly admired and stared at the beautiful woman! Seeing the beauty a little embarrassed, she asked him, "Do you think my little plane looks good?" The man praised: "the small plane is really beautiful, but the airport is more beautiful!" "

24. My mother and her two daughters and grandmother unfortunately fell into the sea when flying, and the four of them were lucky to float to an island. On the island, I found a group of strong men on the island! At this time, a strong man forcibly took his mother away! The youngest daughter hugged his leg and said, "Don't take my mother!" " The strong man kicked her away and said, "What do children know!" At this time, another strong man came to take my sister away, and the little girl hugged his leg and said, "Don't take my sister away!" " The strong man also kicked her away and said, "What do children know!" At this time, another strong man came over and the little girl was about to rush over. Grandma kicked the little girl away and said, "What do children know!" "

25. The wolf knocked at the door and said, "Dear Bunny, open the door!" After hearing this, Little Rabbit quickly opened the door: "Coming!" " Mother rabbit shouted to the little rabbit, "Don't drive! It's the wolf! " The wolf sighed at the door: "Hey, it's easier to cheat a girl than a woman!" "

26. A boy has three balls, but he doesn't know if he is normal! Because he was embarrassed to ask his classmates, he decided to ask his brother. At dinner the next morning, he asked his brother, "Brother, would it be strange if we had five balls together?" After hearing this, his brother was shocked and asked him, "Ah? Have you grown four? ！”

27. A group of young people are chatting in a bar, chatting and guessing riddles. Someone asked, "Ten men peeked at five women taking a bath and played an idiom." In fact, many people know this idiom, which is colorful. But a MM pondered for a long time, suddenly her eyes lit up and she asked shyly, "Is it a two-pronged approach?" (This MM's thought is evil! )

28. The beauty was making out with a man in the room, and suddenly the beauty heard her husband's footsteps coming back. In a hurry, the beauty quickly opened the window in the house and said to the man, "Quick, quick, jump out from here!" ！” The man looked out of the window and cried in a hoarse voice, "This is on the 14th floor!" The beauty was furious and said, "Jump! What superstition is there at this time! " (It seems that jumping on the 14th floor is not a superstitious problem, but a life problem)

29. A beautiful woman took part in a dating activity and filled in her personal information as required. After returning to the dormitory, the beauty complained: "Oops, I wrote my occupation and zodiac backwards!" A friend comforted him: "What's the big deal? Most people can understand it." The beauty said with a slight cry: "The key is that I am a chicken! ！”

3. The man has a crush on a female colleague in the company. But his female colleagues did not agree with him. The man got up the courage to send a text message to his female colleague: "Are you free tonight?" After receiving the text message, the female colleague replied warily: "What do you want?" After a while, the female colleague received a short message from the man: "Yes!" (If you look closely, you will understand the joke.)

31. The prince in the palace went to play among the people! A beggar in Lu Yu found that he looks like himself! The prince asked the beggar with great contempt, "Did your mother ever work as a maid in the palace?" The beggar replied angrily, "no, my mother has never been to the palace, but my father used to be a coachman in the palace!" " (If you look closely, you will understand the joke.)

32. A woman had an accident, and her boyfriend gave her a lot of blood transfusion to save him! But not long after, the ungrateful woman actually broke up with her boyfriend! Boyfriend shouted angrily: "Want to break up? Then pay off my blood first! ！” The woman mercilessly threw the sanitary towel on the boy's face and scolded, "Here! I will pay you back in installments every month! "

33. A man excitedly took a taxi to meet a female netizen! When it was almost time, the man saw from the car that the female netizen in the distance was very ugly! The man pointed to the ugly female netizen and said to the driver, "See that woman?" The driver said, "See, where do you stop?" The man replied, "No, kill her! ! ！”