The joke that Jerry Lee told at the National Music Festival.

I haven't heard his jokes to tell you a few. 1. A boy is taciturn. After marriage, he gave birth to a daughter. When the daughter grew up to ten years old, he finally caught his curiosity and asked his mother, "Mom, who is this person who eats with us every day?"

2. A couple are discussing the newly pasted wallpaper. The husband is not satisfied with the wallpaper just pasted, but the wife doesn't care. To this end, the husband was very angry. He said to his wife, "This situation arises because I am a person who demands perfection, but you are not."

The wife replied, "You are absolutely right. That's why you married me and I married you. "

3. One day, before he died, Einstein, a great scientist, asked Liz Shinto, "Is there a soul after death?"

"Of course." Small, god said with a smile.

"I never believed that people have souls. Do you have any scientific reasons to convince me? " Einstein asked inexplicably.

"Because the soul is the spiritual strength of human beings, it should be a kind of energy, as the saying goes: matter is immortal and energy is conserved." Small, god light say with smile.

4. On the boat, a sailor asked another sailor, "Which do you prefer, wine or women?"

another sailor replied, "I have to know (it) their date of birth first."

5. The young lawyer appeared in court for his first case, and his client's 24 pigs were run over by a car of the railway bureau. In order to emphasize the huge loss, he said excitedly, "Gentlemen, think about it, 24 pigs! 24 heads! Twice as much as our jury. "

6. I finally know how to calculate the probability of precipitation tomorrow by practicing in the meteorological observatory ~ The director found ten people in the office and asked," Please raise your hand if you agree that it will rain tomorrow. "As a result, three people raised their hands ... < P > 7. An uncle went to the hospital for a B-ultrasound examination, and when he came out, he said discontentedly," The doctor ignored me as soon as he saw me lying down.

8. M: Can I buy you a drink?

W: No, I'd rather have your money for drinks.

m: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.

female: I'm a plastic surgeon, and I've been looking for a face like yours.

m: I think I can make you very happy.

W: You mean you're leaving?

m: can I hold your hand?

W: No, I can carry it myself.

m: have we ever dated once or twice?

W: There must be only one time. I never make the same mistake twice.

9. An acrobatic troupe in a street in London is performing a program: a hunger strike man in a box. A journalist interviewed the hunger strike man and asked, "Why do you want to perform this program?" The man replied: "This is also a mixed meal!"

1. I am a junior high school student, and once I received a fraudulent message: "Mom and Dad, I have no money to use now, so put the money into XXXXXX account. This is my friend's card with the name XXX. "

Then I answered him cheerfully: "Your mother, I am in junior high school!"

11. The young salesgirl enthusiastically introduced, "Buy this doll. It is the most fun. If you put it down, it will immediately close its eyes and go to sleep. It will also cry and laugh. When it cries, you touch its head and it will turn into a smile, just like a real child. "

The mother said with emotion, "Hey, little girl, I can see that you don't have children yet."

12. One day, two thieves met.

A asks B: "Where did you make a fortune recently?"

b said gloomily, "I climbed into a butcher shop last night. In the dark, it took a lot of effort to finally open a safe, which turned out to be a fucking refrigerator. "

13. the teacher said to the students, "children, the headmaster will come to ask you questions this afternoon, and you should give a good answer then. Benjamin, you are the first one, and the headmaster will ask you who created it? It's right for you to answer that God created you. Tom, you are the second one. The headmaster will ask you who were the first people in the world, and it's right for you to answer Adam and Eve. Remember that, don't make a mistake. "In the afternoon, just as the headmaster was coming, Benjamin went to the toilet because of a sudden unbearable stomachache. The headmaster walked into the classroom and saw that the first seat was empty, so he asked the second Tom:" Tom replied, "Adam and Eve." The headmaster was anxious, "What? Don't you know that you were created by God? " Tom: "The man created by God went to the toilet because of his stomachache."

14. The girlfriend A Dai just talked about has a skin disease, and her whole body itches unbearable. When I went to the hospital to see a doctor, the doctor said that this was mainly caused by food allergies, and told her that she had written down a list of foods that were forbidden to eat.

When she got home, she put the note under the glass on the table and went out.

When my girlfriend came back at night, she saw A Dai gloating with a big bag of things beside her. She happily asked, "Honey, what did you buy me?"

A Dai raised a note and said, "I bought everything written on it!" "

15. The church in the small town is in ruins. Every week at the church meeting, the pastor asks the congregation to donate enthusiastically to raise money to build a new church.

A beautiful young lady gracefully walked up to the donation box and said to the pastor, "I am willing to donate 25, yuan."

The pastor replied, "Miss, although we need everyone's donation very much, we can't accept the dirty money from blasphemy." That's not dirty money, it's all our hard-earned money! "