Classic funny Cantonese sentences

1. I am loved by everyone, and I am loved by every car.

2. There is a fan for cool breeze, but there is no electricity for pumping water. Even though you are penniless, you still want to eat durian. Although I don't wear gold and silver or have a lot of money, I can borrow a few mosquitoes at a high interest rate so that you can buy a doll.

3. The exam is so anxious that countless candidates stay up all night. Unfortunately, Emperor Qin and Emperor Wu of Han were too timid, so the ancestors of Tang and Song had no choice but to copy it. Genghis Khan, a genius of a generation, only handed in a blank paper in the end. It's all gone, and all the famous people have taken the exam again.

4. Fat vines and vines make your feet tremble. Buy old pork to worship the gods. Halfway through the journey, you will see the vines around the temple. When you return to the house, you will see the vines around the entrance. After eating the pork, you will become a plague god. , I am a fool after reading the information.

5. Don’t be depressed! Robbery! All hands up! The man is parked on the left, the woman is parked on the right, and the pervert is in the middle. I am talking to you, but I am looking at my phone in a daze!

6. The teacher asked a question in class: "What are the same characteristics between rotten radish and pregnant women?" As a result, only three people qualified. They answered: "They are all caused by insects. disaster". And only one person got full marks, four words: pulled out too late!

7. Fall in love with you at first sight, hold you in my arms without saying a word, come to you in three days and two days, no one around wants you, marry you in five days, and not be separated in sixty years !

8. Sending messages is a bad behavior. You can choose to be coquettish, crazy, stupid, or even crazy, but Qianqi is not good at sending messages!

9. There are three types of women I can marry. One is an injector nurse, who calls her all the time: "Xu Pants, Ji Gao Luo You." The other is a bus driver, who calls all the time: "Hey, come on." D, it’s very empty inside.” The third type of teacher often says: “If you do it a hundred times, you will be punished.”

10. One, two, three, four, five, six. No program every night. A few idiots are alone. Seeing a beautiful girl who is so mature and yelling at me, why not go home early and have sweet dreams!...Sin! Sin!

11. I have always wanted to say that to you. A few words, but you know their weight. I'm afraid that once I say them, we won't even be friends anymore, but I can't control my feelings and muster up the courage to say to you: Yakult, you drink Zuomo today!

12. It feels so strange. It should be you. The one I have been looking for is you. I will seize this opportunity. I must chase you until... ...Dead thief! You have nothing to do with me.

13. If being handsome is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime; if being handsome is a mistake, I have made the same mistake again and again. ; If being smart has to be punished, wouldn’t I have to be cut into pieces? If being humble has to be tortured, how can I escape?

14. The cool breeze is blowing, and the autumn moon is boundless. Thanks to my Sijiao mood, my days are like years. Although I am not as graceful and graceful as a jade tree facing the wind, I have a broad mind and strong arms. Do you love me?

15. If God gives me one more chance to talk, I will tell you: "Pujie! Don't ditch me if you don't have money"!

16. When a man goes out to support a woman, it is called "a beautiful girl hidden in a golden house"; when a woman goes out to support a man, it is called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"; 17. Thunderstorm warnings are now in effect; Wujie Observatory reminds you, Remember to bring a lightning rod before going out on the street. Wish you good luck...

18. You are really loved by everyone, you will be loved by everyone, you will be loved by everyone, you will be loved by everyone, you will be loved by everyone, you will be loved by others, you will be loved by others, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be loved by others when you see them, you will be opened when you see the coffin lid, and the dead chicken will hold up the lid.

19. I’m so obsessed with you! Have you caught me?

20. The four ideals of men: Money is falling from the sky, all the pretty boys are dead, and the pretty girls’ brains are all rusty, and they are vying to pick me; 21 Wow !Sending text messages is not easy to deal with. You can have a fever, fever, fever, or nerves, but it is never easy to send text messages! It is always beneficial Vitasoy! A22. Think about it when you are lonely. Miss me, come see me when you miss me, and see that I remember to carry the fruit. Orange means you love me, banana means you miss me. Apple represents your love for me.

23. From now on, China Mobile will offer a big discount for sending text messages. I will give you money for traditional text messages, 2 cents for each simplified text message, and 5 cents for each English text message. China Mobile recommends using simplified Chinese text messages. Fa.

24. Baby, do something tight so that I can catch you!

25. Do you know? You are simply killing people from behind and scaring people from the front! Any idea? Because although you look like Edison Chen behind you, unfortunately, you look like eight taels of gold behind you! ! ! What a pity! What a pity! ! ! ! ! !

26. Get up, you bad training pig, hurry up and go to work, I’m too lazy for you~~! It’s really a blind eye~!

27. Fall in love when we first meet, and be infatuated when we meet again. I work hard all day long to win my heart. After all the hard work and thought, it was frustrating. I don’t understand your heart, don’t you understand my heart?

28. I’m sorry for your displeasure. If you still want to send me a sexy text message, I’ll write on Zhoujie: Apply for certificate 13XXXXXXXXX 29. I met you by chance, but I met you by chance. Intentional; thinking of you is affection, liking you is love; when I don’t see you, I am half-hearted, but when I see you, I am wholehearted. 30. I heard that the weather in Guangdong has been erratic in recent days, and there have been continuous heavy rains in various areas of Guangzhou. Please remember to bring some with you when you go out. Have a rubber boat ready, just in case.

31. I fell in love with you at first sight. I missed you after not seeing you for two days. I went to find you again and again. Five flying boys surrounded you. I went to rescue you even though I didn’t recognize you. I made love seven times and eight times. I give you nine hundred and ninety-nine roses, just because I like you very much! ? !

32. Wife: "It would be better for me to marry the devil than to marry you!" Husband: "It's impossible, marriage is forbidden for close relatives."

33. You are really a real person. When you see someone's love, when you see a car, you see a car, when you see a coffin, you see the lid open! !

34. Mingzi: Mom, would you like some at Yihongyuan? Mother: Go straight, turn left at the first intersection, and when you see the toilet, turn right and there is the third building! (It’s your father’s company, dead boy!) 35. If you have faith in the cool breeze, I will pick up a whip and peek at your vagina. It’s like a continuous stream of nectar. Although I am not nine inches long and thick, I I know the right way to turn.

36. One kiss will give you a rose. Two kisses will give you our home. Three kisses will take you to Java on our honeymoon. I am a big fool in love. I will never change my mind when I love you. ! ! !

37. Once the whistle teeth are solved, the whistle teeth can be used to peel watermelons, serve as knives and forks when eating, cover the chin when it rains, separate tea leaves when drinking tea, and block two blows when making love.

38. There is an elephant by the river, a sheep by the river, and a Zhu Jinchun by the river, just like you!

39. Man: "Azhen, I caught a big fish, come to my house to eat it!" Azhen: "You want to use that fish to catch me, okay?" "40. When people are in the classroom, their hearts are out of their minds, and reading is not as good as falling in love. Teacher, could you please explain? Your words are for the next generation of Zuo’s descendants.