Are there any other funny text messages like this?

Once I went to dinner with my ex-boyfriend, and he suddenly said: "There is something dirty on your eyes! Close your eyes and I will get it off for you!" Then I closed my eyes, and he lifted my double eyelids. Tear off the sticker

How to bully cats: 1. Cats like to sit in boxes. 2. Meow is illiterate. 3. Write on the box "Only idiots and bastards sit in this box." 4. Wait for the cat to sit in. 5. Take photos and laugh.

If life is just like the first time we met, why should the autumn wind draw a fan sadly? It is easy to change people's hearts, but they say that people's hearts are easy to change. The words of Lishan are gone till midnight, and the rain and bells at night end without complaint. How unlucky is the man in brocade to wish for the same day with wings and branches. I just had Malatang in a small shop. There were two people next to me. The boy only had vegetables and poached eggs in his bowl. The girl had a full bowl of meatballs, chicken wings, and seafood. It was really full. It was almost full. . While eating, the girl said: Do you think I am a prodigal woman? I saw that even the boss nodded, but the man said: I'm so poor that I can only take you to eat Malatang. What else is there to waste your money on? Eat it quickly. .

Why are you so fat? Have you eaten your food? Did it cost you water? Pulled your fabric? Or am I hugging your thigh? Diao Chan is thin and homeless! Yang Yuhuan is fat, but she is made a noble concubine! ?Cecilia Cheung and Faye Wong are both divorced! As the saying goes: Those who gain fat will gain the world! Fat people bring wealth, but fat people are warm in winter and cool in summer. Why?

There is a man from Inner Mongolia in the dormitory who said he would go back to herd sheep during the holidays! A second-rate teammate asked him if he could herd sheep? I said that Mongolians are born to herd sheep. Recognizing sheep is like recognizing people, each one looks different! The Mongolian guy answered, yes, we are all familiar with it! The second-rate guy asked, "How come you guys are so familiar with each other and still eat all kinds of things?" The Mongolian boy thought about his answer and chose the one he had a bad relationship with. .

Summary of the completion of personal goals in 2013: buy a 200-square-meter house in the second ring road√; buy a beloved sports car√; submit a company in your hand to IPO√; come and say goodbye Just go on a trip√; Become a VIP at the golf course√; Find a rich and beautiful friend√; Adopt an orphan√; Watch a movie with your favorite female star√; Adopt a Japanese Akita dog√; Make a profit of 150 against the stock market trend √; Get rid of the habit of bragging×

American AV actress Lisa Sparks currently holds the world record for having sex with multiple opposite sexes in one day. On October 16, 2004, she had sex in Poland She slept with 919 men in 12 hours at the expo, a record that has not been broken yet. Lisa got married when she was 18, and her husband was only 20 at the time. The two have been together for 18 years. Thinking about her husband, do you think there are any obstacles in this world that are difficult to overcome?

The young man asked the Zen master how to get rich quickly. The Zen master replied: "As long as you find all the seven legendary beads." The young man suddenly realized and asked: "Are they the seven dragon beads?" The Zen master shook his head: "No, they are the two-color balls..."

One month before the exam , the student’s QQ signature was “Everything depends on human effort”; a week before the exam, the student’s signature was changed to “Everything depends on the circumstances”; after the exam, the signature was changed to “Participation is the key.”