How to deal with the anxiety of separation between kindergarten and children and start a "garden treasure" life happily?

Reading about three and a half-year-old children's experience of "entering the park to find a new job" about three times a year has given us a particularly profound experience in coping with the anxiety of kindergarten separation. . .

In a blink of an eye, the sapling has been in kindergarten for a month. What is rare is that they are full-time in the first month and are never late. I have been in kindergarten since I was two years old. This is her third "new job in the park". Looking back on the tortuous admission experience this year, I found myself very lucky. It is precisely because of this particularly long-term adjustment that my children and I have found a suitable way to deal with the anxiety of kindergarten placement: "Yuanbao" is not practiced in a day, and it needs to be prepared in advance to dispel anxiety.

1, choosing a garden: take children to adapt to the school environment in advance.

Many families began to inspect kindergartens six months in advance. Specific to the criteria for choosing a garden, each family depends on its own situation. My experience is that no matter what the family decision-making factors are, it is best to take children with you when you visit the park environment, so that they can feel and adapt to the new environment in advance, which is very helpful to eliminate their separation anxiety when they enter the park in the future.

When the sapling just turned two years old, she caught up with her grandmother and went back to her hometown to deal with things. My father and I went to work unattended, and I chose a nursery for her for the first time. When I visited the nursery environment, I took the saplings with me. It is a day-care class in an early education center, which specializes in receiving 18 months to about 3 years old, preschool, and children who lack care at home. The facilities inside are all prepared for these ultra-low young friends, near 1000 square meter Daping Building. Being two years old is like entering an amusement park. After playing in it for a long time, she was still not satisfied. She also adapts to some living facilities and interacts well with teachers. Look at this situation, I can safely sign her up. Later kindergarten life proved that this experience of entering the park in advance was very helpful to alleviate her separation anxiety. About a week, the 2-year-old sapling adapted to the life in kindergarten. But unfortunately, this care period only lasted for one month. Grandma came back from her hometown, distressed that her child was too young. When it was cold in winter in the north, she didn't send her children to school again. But the experience of this class obviously left a good impression on the young trees, so that for a long time after they stopped classes, they often pointed to the way to class in outdoor activities and said, go to school, go to school.

After a year of family stocking, we encountered the same similar problem last year in June+February, 5438. Although the sapling is three years old at this time, I took her to the early education center that she has been obsessed with because of the lack of school age. But after half a day's experience, I found that no matter those amusement facilities or some children in kindergarten, she looked big and uncoordinated inside. So I finally signed her up for Montessori kindergarten. At that time, because of the epidemic prevention and control, children without physical examination and COVID-19 screening were not allowed to enter the park. Take the clothes and luggage belt home three or four days in advance when signing up. When I was ready to sign, I found that these clothes and schoolbags became the media for her to know about the new kindergarten. With endless enthusiasm for going to school, the little man walked around the house excitedly with a big schoolbag on his back ... On the first day of kindergarten, he got up by himself at 6: 30, so he had to jump all the way with his schoolbag on his back ... Only this time he entered the park, not long after ... 1 mid-month, the epidemic spread to the kindergarten and the winter vacation ended.

Before the school started this spring, the family had to change kindergartens for the sake of young trees, considering that it was convenient for the elderly to pick up and drop off their children. This is a brand-new adaptation challenge for children who are already familiar with and adapted to kindergarten life. So before I transferred to the park, I took her to the new kindergarten three times to familiarize her with the environment, play in it for a while, and get familiar with the living facilities such as classrooms and bathrooms. Under such coordinated psychological construction, the young saplings have adapted to the life of the new kindergarten very smoothly this time. I have been in school for a month, but I have never been in the mood to go to school. Just a few times, I asked me innocently with my eyes wide open: "Mom, why are we coming to a new school?" Is that old school closed? "I can see her little thoughts, feelings and nostalgia for the old school. So I would also like to remind you by the way: if possible, try to reduce the twists and turns of children entering the park.

2. Suitable for garden articles: Help children improve their life and social skills in advance.

The saplings had entered school twice before, and both showed separation anxiety, belonging to the "latecomer" type. For the first two or three days, I was very excited. Did you wave at school? After the novelty passed, I began to resist! Don't get up, don't wear clothes, don't go to school. ...

Understanding them from the perspective of children, suddenly entering a strange environment from a familiar family, facing several strange adults, and suddenly having so many strange children around them, this challenge is enough to bring them tension, fear and helplessness; Eating, sleeping, drinking water, going to the toilet, having classes, playing games ... the ability of self-care and the sense of bondage and regularity of collective life are inevitable for people who are used to being free at home and can get help from their families at any time. In this collective environment, whether it is the glory of finding that you can do it or the frustration of finding that you can't, it will be magnified countless times.

So respect and understand children's psychological feelings, analyze and solve problems from the root causes that make them feel scared and uncomfortable, and face separation anxiety, I find it very effective to do these things:

The first time I went to kindergarten, every night after school, the little sapling would hold my hand and let me accompany her to the academy for a while. I gradually found that this kind of relaxation time with my family after class is very helpful for her to improve her familiarity and goodwill towards the school environment. So when she went to kindergarten for the second time and the third time, we were generally not in a hurry to take her home after school. But to cooperate with her and play around the campus for a while. Public green fitness centers, community supermarkets ... although small, there are also places worth exploring for a child. Based on the school, from home to school, these two spaces have become her playground, and going to and from school every day has become a very regular play activity, which virtually relieves her pressure of going to school.

The second time the saplings went to kindergarten, they encountered this problem. The exclusion is not going to school, but getting up. Because adults go to bed late, children often go to bed after 1 1 every night and get up at 9: 30 in the morning. She suddenly came to school and was woken up at 7: 30 in the morning. It was easy to cry when her sleep was interrupted. Because of getting up, she is often late for school in the second kindergarten. So when I went to kindergarten for the third time, half a month before the start of school, my father and I started to work together in Qi Xin to adjust the schedule. First, we adjust ourselves to stop staying up late and sleeping. After 9: 30, we began to make preparations before going to bed, dimming the light of 10, creating a sleeping environment for her, and helping her adjust her schedule to the tone synchronized with school life, so that when she went to kindergarten for the third time, she didn't have any trouble getting up in the morning for a month.

Many parents who have been there have this cognition: collective life in kindergarten can quickly improve and improve children's self-care ability. However, if it is to alleviate children's separation anxiety and make children adapt to kindergarten life more easily and happily, I still agree that parents should make early preparations before entering the park to improve their self-care ability. Lack of self-care ability, because of discomfort and frustration among friends, it is easy to cause children to be tired of learning when they first go to school. On the contrary, strong self-care ability can make children stand out from the radish and get praise and praise, and it is also easy to stimulate a child's yearning and confidence in collective life. Because the sapling has benefited from our attention and cultivation of her self-care ability since she was a child, she has performed well among her peers since she was two years old, so she quickly adapted to the collective life in kindergarten.

Compared with self-care ability and intelligence, the development of children's social skills is often ignored by many parents. In addition to convenient transportation, the other two children who often play with her in the same community also chose this kindergarten for the third time, which is another very important reason. Having familiar friends to go to school together every day can also reduce the tension and discomfort of children who have just started school. Although she is an "old driver" compared with the other two children, going to school with her good friends has played a very positive role in her adaptation to the transformation of the new campus. The cheerful and calm performance of the saplings when they went to school together also helped the other two children quickly stabilize their nervousness when they first went to school.

Another cultivation of children's social skills in kindergartens is the ability to make new friends: how to express yourself bravely, accept others, learn to get along with other children, and even win the favor of teachers. These social skills are actually from the birth of children, and parents should help their children build and prepare bit by bit.

3. Persuasion: Parents should first do a good job in psychological construction.

It is said that kindergarten children have three levels of separation anxiety: resistance, crying and refusal to enter the park; A little deeper, disappointed, isolated and closed; Serious, because psychological emotions lead to physical discomfort, colds, coughs, fever ... First, most parents can cope with the surface; "No, at this time, we must harden our hearts and stick to it." The second level depends on the guidance of school teachers and classmates; On the third floor, most parents easily compromise: if they are sick, they should ask for leave. A few days before the observation, a few days after the observation, and a week passed quickly. As a result of fishing for three days and drying the net for two days, it will take children longer to adapt to kindergarten. In the long run, it will also give them a very bad psychological hint: "If I am sick, I can not go to school ..." So my approach is: be bold and cautious in the face of my baby's illness. If it is only a minor injury, it will not affect other children in kindergarten. Try to send them to school and try not to ask for sick leave for too long. Help children to stabilize the rhythm and law of life during the school year.

Reading picture books and situational exercises related to school with children often is another good way to guide children to fall in love with kindergarten and adapt to kindergarten life as soon as possible. Read more similar picture books to her before and at the beginning of school. For example, in the first month of school, we often read "Niu Niu Find Friends" to Xiao Miao: I am tired of playing with toys at home. Although cats and dogs can be Niu Niu's playmates for a while, they can't be good friends with her. Kindergarten is a place to make good friends. Niu Niu can make many good friends here, and everyone can eat, sleep and play games together. ...

The child comes home from kindergarten and plays house games with her at night. In view of their strong imitation ability, let them be teachers and we will be students to imitate their life at school. In fact, this not only allows children to share their happiness and confidence in life, but also allows us to see whether their school life is full and well cared for from their situational drills.

To sum up: although it is the first threshold of life, it is not so difficult to face the anxiety of baby kindergarten separation. Children go to school at the age of three, and there are more than three years before us, which is enough for us to prepare carefully, do our homework in advance and start a new life with our children.