Aiko studied abroad, and Peisi Chen successfully passed the "family empty nest"

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According to the statistics of relevant departments in the State Council, there are as many as 8 million overseas students in China after the reform and opening up, and the number has been increasing by 300,000 per year in recent years. After this huge group left home, their parents endured the torment of "empty nest of affection". How can such left-behind parents successfully spend the "family empty nest"? How to deal with the contradiction between two generations, so as to realize the growth of parents and children? Peisi Chen, a famous comedian, gave a standard answer based on his personal experience.

20 10 September, Chen Dayu, the only son of Peisi Chen and Wang Yanling, went to study in London, England. Peisi Chen hurriedly drove his son to the Capital International Airport. When the son passed the security check with his suitcase, he humorously joked with his son, "Don't forget mom and dad when you see that beautiful blonde over there!" Chen Dayu made a face at his father playfully: "That's not certain." Father and son had a good time.

After Chen Dayu left, this once stable family of three became the world of Peisi Chen and Wang Yanling. In the evening, the couple returned to their home in Changping District, Beijing. It was dark and very quiet. Peisi Chen turned on the light and silently walked into his son's room. He sniffed his son's pillow towel and sheets and reached out to touch his son's guitar hanging on the wall. Chen Dayu's tennis racket fell to the ground, and Peisi Chen picked it up and put it on the top of the bookshelf. Unconsciously, tears welled up in Peisi Chen's eyes. Wang Yanling came to her husband and sighed, "I'm sorry, too." "In the past, my son was holding a guitar at home and yelling at the chrysanthemum table. I think he is too noisy. I can't hear him now. I really don't adapt. " Wang Yanling's tears flashed: "When a child grows up, he will fly away to find his own world. It is impossible to live under the protection of his parents all his life. "

Peisi Chen don't understand this truth? But he just can't get out of his son's world. Like many parents of foreign students, Peisi Chen is also mired in an "empty nest of emotions". Although my son is 18 years old, he has never left his parents since he was a child. Can he adapt to life there? Can English keep up? Are you used to western food? Will the local children discriminate against him? All kinds of worries condensed in Peisi Chen's mind. He can't eat well, sleep well and fidget all day. When rehearsing the play Bat, he often says the wrong lines.

There is an 8-hour time difference between Beijing and London. At one o'clock in the morning in Beijing, it is the time for Chen Dayu to finish school at five o'clock in the afternoon. Peisi Chen deliberately put a timed alarm clock on the bedside table. As soon as the bell rang, he quickly got out of bed and called his son sleepily to ask him what he had for lunch. Have attended several classes; Who do you usually play with? Tell my son to study hard and not to waste money. At first, Chen Dayu answered his father patiently. After many times, he became impatient: "Dad, I am a freshman. Don't treat me like a child. Is it annoying to ask the same question every day? " Peisi Chen said ingratiatingly, "Dad is still worried about you!"

Chen Dayu's roommate is familiar with Peisi Chen's phone content, because he often answers his father's phone calls. Every time the mobile phone rings, they imitate Peisi Chen's tone and say, "Son, what did you have for lunch and how many classes did you have?" ? Communicate with your classmates more and don't spend money indiscriminately. Chen Dayu laughed at himself: "Dad, this is the call of love." . "But my heart is increasingly resisting my father's phone call. One night, Chen Dayu and some classmates were feeding swans by the school lake. At this moment, Peisi Chen's phone came. Chen Dayu has had enough. He switched his mobile phone to mute state and stuffed it into his bag.

After dinner, Chen Dayu remembered to call his father. Peisi Chen was frantic: "Why didn't you answer the phone? Is everything all right? Your mother and I almost called the police. " Chen Dayu interrupted his father: "What can I do? Dad, I can't stand it when you get up in the middle of the night and make a phone call. Can you stop calling often? Let's talk once a week. " Peisi Chen bargained with his son: "A week is too long, let's talk once every three days."

At this time, Peisi Chen is 56 years old, and his career has reached a certain height. He has no higher pursuit, and his main spiritual sustenance is his only son. The joys and sorrows of a son are his joys and sorrows. Since his son went to Manchester University to study, Peisi Chen has paid special attention to the weather and social news there. 2011165438+3 Late at night, Peisi Chen searched online: a Hong Kong student in London came home from a bar at night 10 and was killed by two robbers. Peisi Chen was so frightened that he hurriedly pulled his wife to the computer and said anxiously, "I don't feel at ease that Dayu is alone there. Only when relatives are around, I am practical. " Wang Yanling also uneasy son. After some discussion, the couple decided to accompany Wang Yanling to London.

After the Spring Festival this year, Mr. and Mrs. Peisi Chen rushed to London. He explained his purpose to his son: "For safety, your mother will be here with you for a long time." Chen Dayu firmly objected: "Mom and Dad, Britain is a very safe place. Only the British police in the world don't need to patrol the streets with guns. The bloody case you saw on the Internet is only a special case. Besides, I 19 years old and can live independently. " Peisi Chen hit back at his son: "If you want me to sleep well at night, you can allow my mother to stay here." Father would talk about this, but Chen Dayu didn't insist.

Peisi Chen rented an apartment, settled her mother and son, and hurried back to Beijing. Wang Yanling also follows Beijing's management model, requiring his son to go home on time after school. If he comes back half an hour late, he must ask his son to explain the reason. She doesn't approve of her son going to his classmate's house to play casually; My son is not allowed to go to nightclubs, dance or drink; My son is not allowed to wear strange clothes. The teaching environment in Britain is free and relaxed, and students fully display their individuality and independence. His mother's "hoop curse" almost choked him.

In mid-May, Chen Dayu gave his mother an ultimatum: "If you don't return to Beijing, I will drop out of school." Wang Yanling had to go home sadly.

Knowing that his wife was driven back by his son, Peisi Chen severely scolded his son on the phone: "You are too ignorant to understand the pains of your parents at all." Chen Dayu hung up the phone stiffly. Peisi Chen's heart is very tangled. ...

Wang Yanling advised her husband, "It's really annoying to accompany my son. If he doesn't answer the phone, you'd better write him an email. " The internet in Britain is very convenient, and my son can use the wireless network at any time. Peisi Chen thinks his wife's suggestion is feasible. After that, he began to write to his son online: "Dear son, children are worried for thousands of miles. Am I not a father? " Don't think dad is trivial and nagging. Although you are an adult, you are still a child in the eyes of your parents. Your mother and I can't worry about you. You don't have to understand, but you can't stop my mother and me from caring ... when you reach your father's age, you will understand my pains. Writing, Peisi Chen was moved by himself, with tears in his eyes. In just half a month, Peisi Chen wrote four heartfelt emails to his son. However, Chen Dayu only replied to one letter, and it did not exceed 100 words. Peisi Chen felt lost.

20 1 1 In July, the school had a summer vacation, and Peisi Chen sent his son back to China for a holiday. Chen Dayu didn't want to go back to his parents, so he stayed at school on the pretext of helping his tutor with the project. Soon, the annual Christmas came, and Chen Dayu ushered in a half-month long holiday. He told Peisi Chen on the phone: "Dad, there is no discount on air tickets here at Christmas. It's not cost-effective to go back and forth. I won't go back to Beijing. You and mom send me something delicious. " Peisi Chen hasn't seen his son for 1 year. Unable to bear the torment of "empty nest of affection", he decided to go to London to accompany his son. The couple compressed their luggage and brought their son a suitcase full of gifts, including preserved fruits, pine nuts and almonds.

On February 24th, 65438, on Christmas Eve, Mr. and Mrs. Peisi Chen and their son had a sumptuous reunion dinner in the hotel. After a hearty meal, the family of three returned to the hotel. Chen Dayu burped and said to his parents, "Mom and Dad, I have an appointment with my classmates to go to the party and decorate the Christmas tree. You can watch TV at the hotel. " He picked up his hat and scarf and went out before his parents said anything. Peisi Chen originally planned to take his wife and children to the London National Theatre to see an opera, but his son went to play with his classmates, so he naturally lost his mood. The couple are waiting for their son to come back in the hotel. But I didn't expect to see my son until two o'clock in the morning. Peisi Chen was so sleepy that he fell asleep in bed.

This time, Mr. and Mrs. Peisi Chen stayed in London for a whole week, but their son stayed with them for less than two days. On the plane back to Beijing, Peisi Chen said heavily to Wang Yanling, "The big fool has changed so much that I think he is a little cold to us now. He was not like this in Beijing before. Alas, I really can't accept his change! " Wang Yanling felt the same way. He felt terrible.

In addition, Chen Dayu has excellent academic performance in an authentic western education environment. He can debate and speak fluently in English, understand the original English movies and write letters in English. He changed his shyness and introversion, became lively and talkative, had a strong independent ability, and paid more and more attention to his inner feelings. At the same time, his way of thinking and values have quietly changed.

On June 26th, 20 12, Peisi Chen's father, Chen Qiang, a generation of performing artists, died of a cerebral infarction in anzhen hospital. At this time, Chen Dayu's summer vacation is coming soon, and Peisi Chen calls his son back to China so that Chen Dayu can see his grandfather for the last time. Chen Qiang's wife Li Yujie fell ill because of grief, and Peisi Chen sent her mother to the hospital for treatment. During the day, he and Wang Yanling went to work in the company, so he asked his son to take care of his grandmother in the hospital.

Chen Dayu was bored when he was alone with his grandmother in his early 80s. After grandma took medicine to sleep, he quietly ran to the Internet cafe near the hospital to play online games. One day, Peisi Chen suddenly received a phone call from the nurse: "Teacher Chen, Li Lao wants to drink water. Why is there no family member in the ward? " Peisi Chen hurried to call his son, only to learn that Chen Dayu had left his grandmother to go to the Internet cafe. Peisi Chen had already suppressed his anger, which became a breakthrough for him to vent his depression. He sternly taught his son: "How can you study abroad for a few years and become more and more ignorant?" Look at your irresponsible indifference, where are you like Chen Jiazi? "Chen Dayu tit for tat:" Dad, don't surf the Internet at will. I am 20 years old this year. Don't tie me down with your mode of thinking. "Father and son, holding me, to outdo each other. Wang Yanling hurriedly pulled his son into the study to avoid escalating the quarrel.

Because of dissatisfaction, Peisi Chen always scolds his son, and Chen Dayu is tired of it. He returned to London before the summer vacation was over. Since then, Chen Dayu rarely took the initiative to contact his father; Peisi Chen's phone or email, he also passively deal with, there is a gap between father and son. Peisi Chen is restless, with poor sleep quality and loss of appetite. He often feels weak and has obvious reaction to anxiety.

2012101in the middle of the night, Peisi Chen tossed and turned and got up to boil water to drink. After turning on the gas stove, he fell asleep on the sofa. After the boiling water overflowed, the flame was put out, but the natural gas was still bubbling, but Peisi Chen didn't realize it. It happened that Wang Yanling got up and went to the bathroom, smelled the pungent gas smell, and quickly turned off the gas valve in the pipeline, thus avoiding a disaster. Wang Yanling woke her husband, and Peisi Chen was worried.

The next day, Wang Yanling told his son Peisi Chen's symptoms on the phone: "In the past, your father ate soundly and slept soundly, and he was in a good mood all day. He has changed a lot since you went to study in England. Son, this has a lot to do with you. " Father and son are one. Chen Dayu shed tears, and his estrangement and resentment towards his father vanished instantly, but he didn't know how to communicate with his father.

165438+1On October 23rd, Peisi Chen was invited to attend the parents' forum of agencies studying in Beijing. More than 200 parents at the meeting talked about their children studying abroad, and they all had difficulties. Peisi Chen also confessed his troubles and puzzles to the experts. The inspiration of the other party deeply touched Peisi Chen. ...

The expert's analysis is incisive and objective: "Parents of foreign students should correctly face the' empty nest of affection' and can't pin all their joys and sorrows on their children, which will bring harm to themselves and their children. All the love in the world is for reunion, but there is one kind of love for separation, and that is the love of parents for their children. When children grow up, they always have to live independently from their parents. Parents should let their children grow up. " Words caused Peisi Chen * * *. In response to Chen Dayu's question, the expert's advice to Peisi Chen is: "You should fully affirm your son's academic Excellence and independence; He played down his affection, so you should persuade him and correct him. " Peisi Chen's tangled heart was suddenly enlightened.

On New Year's Day of 20 13, Peisi Chen flew to London to reunite with his son. As soon as they met, he made a request to his son: "Fool, would you like to watch an original English movie with your father?" Chen Dayu looked puzzled: "Dad, can you understand?" Peisi Chen stroked his son's head: "Doesn't dad have a son who speaks great English?" Chen Dayu also wanted to "show off" his English in front of his father, so he accompanied his father to watch the original British film Eagle over London on the Internet. Father and son sit side by side in front of the computer. Peisi Chen couldn't understand a word of English conversation. Chen Dayu patiently translated for his father. At the end of the movie, Peisi Chen gave his son a thumbs-up sign: "Idiot, your English is not very good, but it is quite good. Dad is proud of you. " Chen Dayu showed a confident smile when he was praised by his father.

Then, Peisi Chen apologized to his son: "I'm sorry, before my father didn't consider your feelings, he frequently called you, emailed you, made various demands, and easily lost his temper with you, which brought you pressure troubles. Dad will change in the future. " Chen Dayu was moved by his father's sincerity, and his eyes filled with tears: "Dad, what I have done is very lacking. Everything you and your mother do is out of one word "love". During this time, I have been thinking that in fact, a phone call and a text message can alleviate your anxiety and worry. " Peisi Chen put his hand on the back of his son's hand, and his father and son's hearts were full of enthusiasm and warmth. ...

Peisi Chen is a well-known performing artist with both ability and political integrity. He is versatile and has blossomed in many fields such as film and television drama, drama, sketch and dubbing. Over the years, he has won more than 30 awards from authoritative departments, such as "One of the 22 movie stars in New China" and "50 film artists with outstanding contributions in China". Back in Beijing, Peisi Chen stopped pinning all his joys and sorrows on his son and began to establish a rational and smooth father-son relationship. He devoted himself to running the Avenue Culture Company he founded and organized the Beijing Comedy Art Festival with his peers. Leading the team to tour the drama "Easy Checkout for Relatives and Friends" all over the country ... The busy life greatly eased Peisi Chen's anxiety symptoms.

At the same time, Chen Dayu, who gradually understood his father, was quietly changing himself. Every two or three days, he will give his parents ten minutes, either by phone or by email, to report his recent study and life to his parents. Chen Dayu knows that the best way to repay his parents is to improve himself in all aspects and be an excellent international student. Participate in school tennis, animation and other interest groups; Buy local youth train cards and organize students to travel to neighboring countries. Every time he designs the route in advance, buys food and arranges accommodation. In April of 20 13, he started working in an ice cream shop, working five hours a week, which not only lightened the burden on his parents, but also exercised his social practice ability.

At the beginning of June, Chen Dayu organized several China students to edit and publish "Londoners See China", which caused a sensation in the school. He solemnly signed his name on the first book and sent it to Peisi Chen by express. A little change and progress of his son has piled up into a happy castle in Peisi Chen's heart. ...

While praising his son's excellence, Peisi Chen also tried to guide him to attach importance to his family and be grateful, and never let him become an indifferent "American-born China". He often warns his son on the phone: "You were brought up by your grandparents. Grandma is in a bad mood after grandpa left, so you should call her more often. " Peisi Chen will also help his son take a bath when he was a child, buy candied haws with him, and package and send his dribs and drabs of photos to Chen Dayu.

Looking at the familiar and warm picture, think about the impulse of the white-haired grandmother and Chen Dayu to give back to the society. Every two days, he takes the initiative to call his grandmother; The old man was hard of hearing, so Chen Dayu slowed down and raised his voice. Every time he returns to Beijing, Chen Dayu will return the money from his work-study program to his relatives. He bought a hat and scarf for grandma, a wig for dad and a set of thermal underwear for mom. In order to adjust the appetite of his family, Chen Dayu bought cheese, bacon, sesame seeds and tomatoes from the supermarket and cooked delicious pizza for his family. He cut off a piece and stuffed it into his father's mouth. He cocked his head and asked, "Dad, how does it taste?" Peisi Chen Hahaha smiled: "The pizza baked by my son is certainly unique in the world."

20 13 10, Peisi Chen has reached the age of 59 and is about to enter the threshold of old age. Due to years of hard work, Peisi Chen's blood sugar and blood pressure are on the high side. Chen Dayu cares about his father's health and often reminds him on the phone: "Dad, don't be too tired. I will graduate from college in another year, and I want to earn money to support my family. Please don't smoke and drink, don't drive too fast, and go to bed on time at night 10. "

Peisi Chen had mixed feelings when his son learned to be grateful and repay the people he loved. Fierce feelings are a good medicine, which thoroughly cleanses the negative emotions brought by the "empty nest of feelings" to Peisi Chen. Today, he is ruddy and full of energy. He has a career on the next level and lives a comfortable and happy life all day. His son, Chen Dayu, is a handsome boy with excellent academic performance and bright sunshine. Peisi Chen grew up with his son * * * in the process of successfully passing through the "family empty nest"!

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