My wife’s redemption, my wife’s path to perdition and my arduous redemption

1. Hard Times

My wife and I are both over fifty. We got married in the early 1990s. My family was very poor at that time, and my wife ignored the opposition of her family. , resolutely decided to marry me, which moved me very much and vowed to be good to her all my life.

In the few years after we got married, two children were born one after another. Our family situation has not changed at all. We are still poor and owe several thousand yuan in debt. My wife has suffered a lot with me. It was really not easy for her to start a family with me after graduating from high school.

Our life is very difficult, and the whole family has to deal with a few kilograms of rapeseed oil for a year. I remember one year, in order to eat some lard, I went to a butcher and bought two kilograms of pork on credit, which cost a few ten yuan. I can't pay it back in a month. One year when the Chinese New Year was approaching, I didn’t have a penny on hand. I happened to meet a cadre in the town who wanted to buy two roosters and got 20 yuan. My wife and I almost cried with joy, finally celebrating the New Year.

2. A turning point in fate

A turning point in fate occurred in the fifth year after our marriage. By chance, I was hired by a company in the county. Although I was only a temporary worker with a monthly salary of only two to three hundred yuan, I had a stable job and income and didn't have to leave my hometown, so I cherished this job. , I lived alone in the dormitory of my work unit from Monday to Friday, and only returned to my home in the countryside on weekends.

One Friday afternoon, I came home and saw my son, who was over four years old, asleep on the edge of the table, and my daughter, who was less than two years old, asleep in the rocking chair with snot and tears all over her face. , obviously he went to bed after being tired from crying, and his wife was busy working. I couldn't help but have a sore nose.

In the late 1990s, two years after I started working, I brought my wife and children to the county town and lived in an old house assigned by my work unit. The house was renovated from an abandoned warehouse. After a few generations, the conditions are very poor, but we are already very satisfied.

The heavy debt of several thousand yuan from the beginning still weighs heavily on us. All our belongings were two wooden beds, a desk, a dining table, and a few chairs. The only household appliance was a black and white TV set when we got married. I remember the first dinner we had when we first moved to the county town. A colleague and his wife came over. They saw our simple belongings and the only plate of vegetarian dishes on the table. They couldn't hide the surprise and surprise on their faces.

3. First involvement in casinos

After arriving in the county, my wife suddenly became a full-time housewife. Since the children were small, she was still used to the "free range" style at that time, so she usually There isn't much to do either. In the community where we live, there are many family members of employees like her, and some of them often play mahjong together to pass the time.

I saw that my wife was usually bored, so I mobilized her to play with them, but my wife said that she didn’t know how to play and had no money to play, so I taught her step by step and told her? As long as she doesn’t Participate in big bets or play small cards to kill time. ?

My wife quickly integrated into their ranks, and her addiction to poker was so great and developed at a speed beyond my expectation that she gradually became less concerned about taking care of the children. Sometimes, Even the meals can't be cooked on time. I tried to persuade her but she didn't listen, so gradually there were some arguments.

Once I returned from a business trip for half a month. She also knew that I had returned home, but she refused to leave the card table, did not cook, and did not care about the children. This completely angered me, and I rushed to them. I got into an argument with her while we were playing cards, and it eventually turned into a physical fight. She picked up the bench and hit me on the head, causing me to lose money on the spot.

4. A bright future

Due to my hard work and outstanding performance, I have been promoted, promoted, and transferred from the branch to the head office in a few years, and my future is bright. , the family's financial situation is also different from what it used to be. It has made rapid progress. First, all debts were paid off, and then the family moved from the county town to the prefecture-level city where the head office is located. They also bought a house and had savings. At this time, it had been more than ten years since we got married.

In the early 2000s, the company leaders saw that my wife was unemployed and took care of her and arranged a temporary position for her, responsible for taking care of a warehouse and distributing related materials. Later, the company's logistics department leaders saw that my wife's education level Not bad, I also gave her some accounts to manage. Although the monthly salary is not high, it is more than enough to give her something to do and to cover her own expenses. Moreover, my income is rising steadily at this time, and the family does not rely on her income.

My wife once complained to me that all my female colleagues were in charge of finances at home, and my husband’s income was all managed by women. I said I would take care of it for you, and handed her the salary card at that time. At that time, the company's profits were good, and the income from the salary card every year was more than enough to meet the daily expenses of our family of four. But at the end of the year, I asked her how much money she had left this year. She said she didn't save a penny.

In fact, I have always known that she is not good at financial management, and I just wanted her to give it a try, so I confidently took back my salary card. Later I learned my lesson and this is what she and I have done together for many years. The biggest right decision.

The two children are simple in nature and talented. From elementary school to middle school, their grades have been stable at the upper-middle level, and we basically don’t need to worry about them.

Everything looks so beautiful.

5. Intensify your efforts

In the first few years of working, my wife was quite diligent in her work and rarely played cards anymore. However, it slowly changed later.

First of all, it is a change in mentality. She often complained to me when she came back, saying, "When certain people in the company come to the warehouse to get supplies, their demeanor and tone always seem to be superior to others. What's the big deal!" Not just because of my parents or good fortune, but in terms of knowledge and ability, she is no better than me! ?

When she said these words again and again, I helped her scold those people for being unqualified and looking down on temporary workers. But after talking too much, I criticized her because there was something wrong with her mentality. You should be grateful to the company instead of comparing yourself with others. You are not qualified to compare with them. Even if they came in through their parents, what does it have to do with you? If you weren't relying on your husband, wouldn't you be just as unemployed? If you insist on comparing yourself with others, you should compare yourself with your brothers and sisters in your hometown, so that you will know how good your life is.

Secondly, there is a change in behavior. She started playing mahjong with others again, and the stakes became higher and higher, and her behavior became more and more violent. At first, I just played with my colleagues in the company, but then whenever I had free time, I would go out and play with some people from different religions. I secretly checked her bag several times, and it turned out to be tens of thousands of dollars in cash.

At that time, the two children were already in middle school, and my wife rarely cared about them. She never worried about making delicious food for the children to supplement their nutrition. She usually brought some soup and rice to her daughter. I do everything. Even on weekends, I cook at home, and the three of us, father and son, are together. I feel sorry for my wife's heavy work load, and she took the initiative to take over the collection and washing dishes at home, and she has not been allowed to interfere for more than ten years.

I persuaded her many times that since you work hard, I don’t want you to play cards for fun, but first, if you want to play, just play small bets with your colleagues in the company. Everyone knows that they will not cheat you. If you don’t know the details of those people outside, you may fall into a trap. Second, you are now in charge of the warehouse's finances, so you must distinguish between public and private matters, and never gamble with public funds.

I have said these words countless times, and she agrees. I also believe that she will not be that confused.

6. Liquidation and Compensation

In the blink of an eye, my wife has been working for ten years, and my two children have successfully entered college. Apart from buying clothes and shoes for herself and her family, she basically doesn't care about other aspects of her family's daily expenses. We bought a new house, and I was responsible for everything from the payment to the decoration. She neither paid nor contributed. Several times I asked her to accompany me to choose decoration materials and furniture, but she just dived into the card table without worrying about anything.

I still didn’t pay much attention to this, and just reminded her not to touch public funds, but I didn’t know that she had already made trouble at this time.

Various departments of the company were conducting financial liquidation. My wife had been in charge of the accounts for seven or eight years, and there were more than 300,000 yuan in wrong accounts. She was panicked for a moment, and she didn't have so much money at all. The department head, who has a good relationship with me, told me about this in private and warned that if the hole was not repaired within three days, he would have to report it to his superiors.

I pretended not to know and waited to see how she acted. I just communicated with the supervisor privately to understand the progress of the matter. The wife spent all her funds, and only had more than 40,000 yuan a day, which was far from enough to make up for it. She looked for people to borrow money everywhere, but couldn't borrow a penny.

At this time, I still have about 700,000 yuan on hand, which I have accumulated through hard work over the years. I paid off the debt for her. Although I also scolded her and got angry, I mostly comforted her and enlightened her, telling her to let the past go and start over again. I said if I can exchange more than 300,000 yuan for her, I think a good wife and mother is worth it.

She cried bitterly and said that in retrospect, those unscrupulous gamblers made a cage and calculated her money.

7. Resigning hastily

The liquidation incident has finally passed. Except for a few people in the department who knew about it, everyone did not make any publicity for my sake, which was considered to be enough for her. face. She continued to work and no longer went out to play mahjong. She only occasionally played small cards with her colleagues.

Two years passed peacefully like this. She started telling me to resign again because the salary was too low and my body couldn't bear it. ?To be fair, although her income cannot be compared with that of regular workers in the company, it is not low compared to the vast majority of corporate workers outside. What’s more, my family never spends her money, and it is more than enough for me. The labor intensity is not very high. You don’t need to work for 8 hours every day. Generally, you will be fine after lunch and have a normal weekend break. Several of her colleagues are younger than her, have better families, and have lower salaries, but they are still doing their jobs in a down-to-earth manner. I don’t understand why she has any reason to be picky.

Later I learned the truth. It was a conversation with her from a colleague’s family member that inspired her desire to resign and go into business overseas. That person has indeed made money overseas in the past few years, but I persuaded my wife that everyone’s talents, resources, connections, and relationships are different. If others can make money, you may not be able to make money. Just ask her to live her own little life down-to-earth and honestly.

But she has always been like this, with a very ambitious mentality, always thinking that she has great talents, but she has been trapped in this small warehouse for so many years and cannot use them. She blames me for not letting her go out and explore. Holding her back.

If you insist, then let it go.

8. Selling dog meat at the expense of sheep

After resigning, she asked me for 100,000 yuan, saying that it would be used as the starting principal and would be returned at the end of the year with 20% interest. He looked confident, eager to try, and determined to win.

From then on, she basically never came home. She only came back occasionally for a day or two, and she could leave at any time. I asked her how her business was doing, and she always said it was okay. But when I asked her to pay back the money at the end of the year, she started to prevaricate, saying that either there was no settlement or she would have to wait.

The next year, she said that she had concluded a deal, but she still had 70,000 yuan left, so I gave it to her again. This time it was really done, because it was the business of our branch, and the person who handled it happened to be a good buddy of mine. Although he never told me about it, I knew he did it because of my face. Made for her. But the business volume is very small, and even the principal and interest are settled for less than 50,000 yuan.

After she got the money, she stopped talking to me about repayment. When I asked her, she said she still wanted to make some money and make a bigger one next time. I felt that I couldn't tolerate it anymore, and she got angry after pressing me again and again, and gave me back 20,000 angrily.

In the third year, they asked me for another 70,000 yuan for various reasons. During this period, a friend who was often with my wife once said to me in a very discreet way: "You still have to be careful with your wife, and you must take care of what should be taken care of." ?Another relative also hit me sideways: Men still have the final say on important matters in the family, and women cannot be allowed to do whatever they want.

But I didn’t pay attention to what they said, nor did I examine the actual meaning of their words. Because I always believe that she has suffered a big loss once and will not be confused again.

9. Unexpected exposure

In the blink of an eye, it is the fourth year since my wife resigned. At this time, my son was preparing for his Ph.D. exam at home, and my daughter was studying for a master's degree and was about to graduate in the second year. She also had a boyfriend with a pretty good family background.

In the second half of the year, my daughter’s in-laws invited my wife and me to play with them, and we discussed getting our child married before the Spring Festival. We had a great time, and both parties were satisfied with the conversation.

Tomorrow, we will prepare to return. At night, my wife fell asleep, but her phone was still on and the screen saver hadn't had time to lock, which showed how exhausted she was when she fell asleep. I opened it at random and took a look. It was really random! Because we usually don’t check each other’s phones.

This is incredible. There are five or six online loan company platforms on the mobile phone desktop, as well as gambling platforms. Then check WeChat chat records, transfers, various text messages, and various collection information. Large skewers. I was so shocked that I woke her up from her sleep, asked for the reason, pressed for the password, and checked the balance. At last count, various online loans, three bank credit cards, and personal debts totaled more than 40,000.

I then recalled that these days, when she was with me, she looked haggard and tired, and she always answered and made phone calls secretly, looking absent-minded. Looking back at some of the conversations she had at that time, it turned out that she was either prevaricating and delaying repayment, or she was betting online.

At this time, I was completely desperate and extremely angry. I almost had no sleep all night. I didn't care that I was at a relative's house, so I slapped her several times. But when I got up the next morning, I had to pretend to be normal and joke with my in-laws and say goodbye happily. Although she rarely spoke, her parents didn't notice anything unusual.

10. Trying to divorce

After returning home, we had a cold war for a few days and we discussed divorce. According to my mood at the time, I had to get divorced, but I thought that if we divorced rashly at this time, the biggest victims would still be our two children. My daughter’s marriage and my son’s college entrance examination are both at a critical stage, and they may all be affected.

I discussed my concerns with my wife and decided to forgive her again, but I made a three-part agreement with her: first, not to get involved in any lending or gambling on the Internet; second, not to borrow money from any individual; The third is to cancel all credit cards.

But she thought the third clause was too harsh and refused to accept it. I find it unbelievable that until now she still refuses to give up this bad habit of tearing down one wall to pay for the other. I drafted a divorce agreement in anger, and she immediately agreed.

So we went to the Civil Affairs Bureau service window together. On the way, I said to her with great sadness: Today I realized what cruelty means. Credit cards are actually more important than family, marriage, and children!

Due to the procrastination of the people in front of us, it was already off work before it was our turn, and we had to wait until the afternoon to handle it. But when she disappeared in the afternoon, I called her and she said she didn’t want to come and would think about it again when she got back. I suddenly felt touched, warm and relaxed.

11. The truth is revealed again

Now that the divorce farce has come to an end, we must face our debts. I asked her to tell me all the secrets, but she still kept secrets and refused to tell the truth. I pressed her with the clues and reasoning I had, and she finally collapsed. She cried loudly and said that she had borrowed 60,000 yuan in loan sharks. She had already repaid more than 30,000 yuan, but now it was due again. People are pressing for debts every day. .

After an item-by-item inventory, the total debt was not the 40,000 yuan seen earlier, but actually as high as 180,000 yuan! Among them: 60,000 loan sharks, 3 personal loans of more than 40,000, 4 credit cards of more than 60,000, and WeChat loans of nearly 20,000.

This result almost made me collapse. I was angry and disgusted by his stupid, bold, irresponsible and reckless behavior! Especially when I saw the agreement she signed with a loan shark company, the new house we lived in was mortgaged. My two children and I were jointly and severally responsible, and our ID cards and phone numbers were all recorded.

It really chilled me and made me break out in a cold sweat!

What is even more speechless is that she has countless thoughts about how much debt she owes. After sorting out all the bills, I asked her: Do you know how much you owe? She calculated silently for a while and said: About 110,000.

12. Painful debt repayment

Every debt cannot be defaulted. Formal loans involve credit records, which will affect children's studies; online loans have extremely high interest rates, which keep getting heavier; loan sharks involve local underworld, and they cannot afford to offend them. Therefore, debt repayment is urgent.

I took her from house to house. First, he went to a loan shark and borrowed 60,000 yuan (at that time, he only got 52,000 yuan after deducting interest). In four months, the total repayment was as high as 89,000 yuan.

After checking the balance in several banks and transferring money one by one, it was already evening when I got on the bus back home. As soon as I walked to the gate of the community, two strange women came up to me and said straight away: Are you ***'s lover? How much does she owe me?

I felt extremely disgusted and was too lazy to pay attention to them. I allowed my wife to argue and argue with them. I quickly fled home and lay down on the bed, tears streaming down my face. I felt so bitter that no one could tell me about it. A dull pain like a knife being twisted.

It was getting dark, I didn’t want to eat dinner, and my wife hadn’t come home yet. I was worried about what would happen to her by those two women, so I called her. She said: I have no shame to go home, I don’t dare to face them. Such a great family!

Thirteen, nightmares again and again

I suffered in pain for more than a week. Suddenly I received a call. It was from an online loan company, but it was not the companies I knew before. Rushing back home and questioning her again, my wife hesitated and had to finally admit that two more payments of more than 40,000 yuan suddenly appeared.

Faced with such a woman, I was completely despairing. I didn’t even want to look at her or say a word to her. But it was useless to scold her, and it was useless to hit her. At this extremely difficult moment for both of them, they couldn't bear to push her out of the door and let her die on her own.

In the evening, my daughter, who is going to school outside, may have encountered some minor academic troubles. She complained in the family group: She has been a little unlucky recently. I replied: Me too. The two children immediately asked me sensitively: Dad, what’s wrong? I had no choice but to prevaricate as if nothing had happened.

Since then, I have often received such debt collection calls, sometimes in the office, sometimes on business trips with leaders and colleagues. I either dared not say anything, or I used to cover up my words, and later I simply stopped talking. Accept any unknown calls. But one time, an online loan company actually called the landline in my office. After receiving the call, my colleague told me. I pretended to be relaxed and said: It was my wife and several companions who deliberately defaulted on the arrears. They deliberately did not pay because they had money. return.

What is even more exaggerated is that on the 29th of the twelfth lunar month last year, two women came to my house at night. One of them I knew was a friend of my wife. I knew it was not a good thing at a glance. Who is still asking for it? Are you coming to visit during the Chinese New Year? When I saw my wife leading them to the balcony and muttering, I walked over and said, "You don't have to pretend to chat. Are you not here to collect debts?" Unfortunately, it’s true! I took out my mobile phone and quickly transferred the money, wanting to push them out of the house. My wife also complained about how this friend was unloyal and had set traps to harm others. I shouted and stopped in disgust.

At the company, I still pretend to be the same optimistic person I used to be; in front of my colleagues and friends, I pretend that my family is fine and nothing unpleasant has happened. I have no one to complain about the pain in my heart, and I can only bear all the pain alone.

14. Absurdity and absurdity

The absurd things done by absurd people are exposed one after another.

The first is to borrow money from the son-in-law. Because my son-in-law’s family is relatively well-off, I was afraid that my wife would take advantage of them, so I warned them several times in advance: No matter how rich they are, or how difficult it is for you, you must never speak! This is related to the daughter's face and future family status, not to mention they are not married yet. But she refused to listen to me, but listened to what her friends said: What does it matter if she borrows a little money from her son-in-law! So he decisively borrowed 10,000 yuan without telling me, but was unable to repay it.

Later, my daughter overheard it and told me quickly. I immediately transferred the money to my wife and asked her to pay it back.

The second is to borrow money from classmates back home. It has been more than 20 years since we left our hometown in a small town. We have always been reputable people when we returned, but she went behind my back to borrow 20,000 from a classmate who ran a small business in my hometown. Another person wanted to borrow 100,000 yuan, but the person was worried and called me to ask for my consent and guarantee before he would lend it, but I decisively stopped it.

The third is the money you have lent and cannot get back. Several tables of mahjong were playing in the same room. Someone at the next table lost all his money and asked for a loan but no one answered. However, the wife stepped forward boldly and lent the man 5,000 yuan, and they didn't even know each other! Later, when I asked him to repay the money, the man said angrily: I don't have the money to pay you back. I didn't ask you to borrow it. You had to borrow it yourself! Later, he simply blocked my wife’s phone number.

Fifteen. Repentance and Redemption

In fifteen years, I alone have paid off more than 600,000 yuan in debt for my wife. Her own income from working for 10 years (about 400,000 yuan) ) doesn’t count. This is definitely a huge sum of money in our small city, and it is also all my savings from working for more than 20 years. As I said to the creditor when I paid back the loan shark: If the money was spent on my home and my family, I would have no complaints. However, except for a few pieces of clothing, my children and I have never used a penny of her money from beginning to end. !

My wife has confessed to me several times: I am sorry for you and the children! After I woke up, I kept repenting. When I thought of how you used to be cheerful and laughing, but now you are depressed and worried every day, and your whole appearance has changed in just ten days, I wanted to kill myself!

I have to go back and comfort her: I believe that human hearts are made of flesh, and I believe that hundreds of thousands of hard-earned money can redeem a good wife and loving mother!

What makes me happy is that because of my patience and dedication, my children all got what they wanted.

How many times have I thought about divorce, but I can never bring myself to do it: she once followed me without any regrets and shared my joys and sorrows; she has no income, what will she do after leaving home? ? She gave me a pair of good children; if I abandoned her, no matter how good my life was, would I really be able to feel at ease when I thought of her downfall?

We are still on the road to repaying our debt. Whenever I feel stressed, I always cheer myself up: The so-called marriage is more about responsibility. Once you hold hands, you will be responsible for life! But I set a red line for her: If she cheats on me again, or borrows money again without telling me, even for a penny, we will break up immediately!