Why is the Spring Festival always urged to get married?

As the Spring Festival approaches, the wanderer returns home and the family is reunited. This is a happy festival, and some single young people will enter the annual "wedding season". Parents' anxiety, frequent urging and pressure from relatives and friends make single young people uncomfortable and further increase their psychological burden.

Children's distress, parents' worries and urging marriage have become important factors affecting family harmony. What is the cause of the problem? How to solve it? The new observation of people's livelihood focuses on the problem of promoting marriage, and invites parents' representatives, youth representatives and representatives of the Youth League Committee to be guests in the studio, express their views, show their attitudes and explore solutions. Children are "disorderly" and parents are getting more and more anxious.

In recent years, urging marriage seems to have become a common phenomenon in society.

Many parents eagerly look forward to the early completion of their children's marriage, and make various urging behaviors in words and actions-

In daily life, parents send WeChat and text messages, urging the only child to find a partner and get married early. On the occasion of holiday reunion, it is an important job for families to lead children to visit their homes and encourage relatives to match.

"The children are all 30 years old, and the wedding rooms are all bought, but there is no object, let alone getting married!" In the interview, the reporter met an aunt who was worried about her child's marriage. She is very anxious about her children's single and unmarried situation.

In fact, there are not a few parents who have the same troubles. They are very worried and anxious about the situation that their children are single or unmarried for a long time, so they have to start "urging marriage".

What exactly is urging marriage?

Parents' point of view: who will take care of you when you are old,

"Marriage is not only a great event to carry on the family line, but also the foundation of a happy life. If you don't get married and have children, who will take care of you when you are old? " The parents of a single youth told reporters.

In addition, some parents said that if the child gives birth at a young age, the body can recover better and faster, reducing the risks brought by childbirth; Meanwhile, I can help take care of my grandchildren, which is good for both of us.

Children's point of view: Is marriage the only goal in life?

However, compared with anxious parents, single young people generally show a relatively dull attitude towards marriage.

The reporter interviewed many single youths on the streets of Zhuhai, and most of the interviewees said that they had been urged to get married by their parents, which confirmed the universality of this phenomenon.

But at the same time, the respondents also said that urging marriage will bring a certain psychological burden. For this reason, most people have had conflicts with their parents, which has caused family disharmony to some extent.

"When I first started urging marriage, I always put pressure on me, so I had several conflicts with my parents."

Lin Jingjing, an unmarried youth, told reporters about her "history of being urged"-since her 28th birthday, her parents have been urging her frequently, which made her feel quite tired.

"Is getting married and having children the only task and goal that people must accomplish in this life?" Lin Jingjing's doubts also expressed the voices of many young people who were forced to get married.

There are differences in the concept of marriage and love, and parents' care gradually turns into anxiety.

"Behind the phenomenon of urging marriage reflects that some young people are very different from the older generation in their views on marriage and love." Zhang, a parent representative, said that this may be an important factor leading to the phenomenon of urging marriage and the ensuing contradictions.

"The older generation thinks marriage is very important. Getting married and having children and having successors is a guarantee for yourself. " Zhang said that only after marriage can people have someone to talk to when they are tired and be taken care of when they are old.

Therefore, marriage is not a simple relationship, but also a guarantee for your future life.

When "not getting married" and "not being guaranteed" are equated, parents' love will gradually turn into anxiety, and then into the accusation that "not getting married" equals "irresponsibility".

"However, this generation of school-age young people grew up in an environment of freedom of thought and material wealth, and it is easy to think that marriage is just a form."

Zhang analyzed that in marriage, young people often don't pay much attention to the significance of life security, but are more concerned about whether they have the same interests and values; The concept of "marrying the right person" has become the mainstream view of young people.

To this end, Lin Jingjing added: "In the eyes of parents, such an idea is the so-called' demanding too much'; In fact, young people's values always change with the development of the times and the progress of society.

When we (the younger generation) think about getting married, we should think more from our own perspective to ensure that we will not get married until we meet the right person. This is actually respect for marriage and love for yourself. "

Lack of communication between children and parents leads to conflicts.

"Other people's children are married, and their own children have not yet landed. This is really embarrassing. " Lin Jingjing said that it is the comparison between parents that leads to the long-standing phenomenon of urging marriage.

"However, parents are often more concerned about whether they get married, but they don't really understand why we don't get married and how to arrange our married life." Lin Jingjing said.

In this regard, Yuan Ke, director of the Organization Department of the Communist Youth League Committee, said that according to the previous survey of the Communist Youth League Committee, the reasons why most unmarried young people don't fall in love and get married are concentrated in several aspects, such as being too busy at work and too small in circles. And behind this, it is the influence brought by the change of social form.

In fact, with the progress of economic development and the increasing pressure of social survival, the time cost, wealth cost and a series of contributions after marriage and childbirth will become the taboo burden of modern youth.

"But there are usually few exchanges in this area-children work hard outside, but rarely contact and communicate with their families, making it difficult to show their positions and views on marriage and love; Parents don't know your actual situation, so it's easy to fall into the trap of subjective judgment and continue to urge marriage under high pressure.