Why do my children get better grades in senior grades (part two)

The older you get, the better your child's grades will be.

Probably when my daughter was in the fifth grade, the mother of one of her classmates told me, "Your family rhyme, the better your grades in the senior grade!" " "

This sentence impressed me deeply.

Why are you impressed? The mother and her son who praised my daughter's "better grades in senior grades" have always been the best and one of the best in my daughter's primary school. The mother devoted all her energy to her children's study, but I feel that she limited her children's thinking a little with her own thinking. Or, like some parents I mentioned earlier, parents can still give guidance when their children are in the lower grades of primary school, and the enthusiasm for guidance is very strong, so children can get good grades in exams, but that good grade is not necessarily their own ability. When she was in the first grade, her son was still in the top 50 of the whole grade. In the third grade, her son's name was not seen in the top 500 of the whole grade.

Life is not a 100-meter sprint, and winning or losing at the starting line is really not that important.

Parents all over the world love their children, but in love, we should pay attention to methods, not let ourselves go, but we should not follow them too closely. The highest state of love is to completely let go and secretly care for them.

Let's take a look at my daughter's third year of high school.

Indeed, by the sixth grade, my daughter has become an excellent student in the school; Junior high school is the best middle school in our local area, ranking within 50 in the first semester. Since then, it has steadily increased, and it has been before grade 10 until the third grade graduation. In the senior high school entrance examination, I entered the best local high school with a score of more than 50 points over the free line, which is also a key high school in Guangdong Province.

We didn't plan to study abroad at first, and we didn't have this idea until the summer vacation of our freshman year, and we began to prepare. Senior one, the children's performance in school is still very good. A few days ago, I accidentally found out the ranking of my children in our local key middle school during the third year of high school, and the whole school ranked 17. This result is stable. Keep working hard and get into an even better key university in the college entrance examination. However, when I wanted to enter an American school, I was really at a loss. After all, many children plan and prepare from an early age if they want to go abroad. Some of them went to American high schools or international high schools, at least in first-tier cities, and the atmosphere and environment were well informed. Zhanjiang, where we live, doesn't even have a New Oriental training. As for why senior one suddenly had the idea of taking the American college entrance examination, this is another course that can be taught.

I have a characteristic that I do what I say, and generally don't hesitate to waste time.

After I decided to go abroad, I reported a TOEFL training for my children in Beijing New Oriental in the summer vacation of my freshman year. After the training, my child got 98 points in the TOEFL for the first time. Later, I took the TOEFL twice, with the highest score of 1 13. In the second year of high school, children should take into account the domestic high school curriculum and prepare for the American SAT, and generally use their holidays to study in Guangzhou or Shenzhen. Teachers in those places all admire their daughters and think that this child is not easy.

After the child reaches the senior grade, I have the following practices:

(1) Help children set lofty ideals and goals, not only by talking about grades, but also by making her understand the importance of grades.

When children reach the senior grade, their physical strength, intelligence and endurance are getting stronger and stronger, so parents can put forward higher requirements for their children in their studies.

English learning:

When my child was in the fourth grade, I began to let her dictate English sentences every day.

The "dictation" here is not the kind in which the teacher in our class reads one sentence and the students write one.

Here's how to do it: I used "Practice English with Three Birds with One Stone" edited by Hu Min of New Oriental. The textbook is equipped with tapes, American music, and the speed of speech is also commonly used by Americans. There are several groups of dialogues in it.

I use the repeater to play the same group of conversations over and over again. Children listen to the dialogue and then record the dialogue they hear. Not a word, but a group of dialogues, but you can listen to them many times until you can record the sentences.

Listen and write two groups of dialogues, that is, four sentences, every night. After dictation, the children check the books and correct the wrong or unfamiliar words. The last two groups of dialogues should be memorized. This method exercises children's listening, increases their vocabulary and sentences, and strengthens their oral English. We insist on this dictation training from the fourth grade of primary school to the second grade of junior high school.

By the second day of junior high school, there was still dictation training, but the content was changed to a complete article. In other words, we have been insisting on this kind of dictation training until high school.

Learning is not afraid of slowness, but of standing. Persistence is very important.

In terms of subjects, we have always asked children to take care of everything and allocate their study time reasonably. Therefore, the child is not biased.

Chinese: Reading more and writing more is the same as learning English. In fact, language learning methods are basically the same.

Let me concentrate on writing.

Many parents know the importance of writing, so they send their children to so-called composition classes.

There is a famous composition training school in our local area. When their daughter was in primary school, they advertised on a large scale. Because I also like writing, I feel that writing can't be improved just by training for a period of time. However, as a parent, I can't resist the inner pressure. I felt that other children were studying and the advertisements were so attractive that I sent my children to that composition school for a holiday one year.

A few days later, I found that template teaching was very serious. There are dozens of people in a class, so it is impossible to give targeted guidance. Moreover, the teacher in class seems to be not in the same class as the teacher who corrects the composition, and it is completely an assembly line operation. Most importantly, children don't like that teaching method. Therefore, I didn't let the children go until the first issue was finished.

For template teaching, everyone must be vigilant.

Here is a story about my friend's child. The daughter of a good friend of mine, graduated from a famous American school, went through five hurdles and cut six generals, and entered the World Bank. That's good, right? But there are also setbacks. Senior three, the semester near the college entrance examination.

The Chinese teacher in charge of the class asked the students to recite the composition template, with the beginning 100, the middle part 100 and the end 100.

Finally, in a class, the Chinese teacher asked the students to recite and memorize the template. Jia Jia, a friend's daughter, broke out and had a conflict with the teacher. Jia Jia refused to recite and memorize. In front of the whole class, she pointed out that the teacher's method of memorizing templates was unscientific, which limited students' thinking.

When I first heard the template, I thought about it carefully and felt chilling.

I remembered "Sick Plum Restaurant". Those strange plants, which meet certain aesthetic standards and grow according to certain templates, must have been cut down and some free-growing parts of their bodies were destroyed. Forcing people's thinking into a template is as painful as the body for that free soul, right?

When a friend's daughter graduated from college and died for an interview, the interviewer asked everyone to analyze a set of data. It is my friend's daughter's turn. She said, "I know you want us to draw a conclusion from this set of data, but in order to draw that conclusion, you have omitted one data from this set of data." It is said that the interviewer's eyes gave off a strange glow at that time.

I told my daughter who was a sophomore at that time and was applying for an American undergraduate course a short story about a friend's daughter's interview. She said, "Sister Jia Jia has always had the ability to think independently, which is her greatest feature." I am glad that my daughter can see Jiajia's independent thinking ability from this incident.

How will the children who recite the template carefully analyze that set of data?

Emphasize that writing is not only about using flowery words, but also about describing and expressing feelings. In fact, the most important role of writing training is to train people's thinking and cultivate order and logic. This is one of the reasons why American education emphasizes reading and writing. If you use templates, you will gain short-term vanity and ruin your child's future.

Math: When my daughter went to primary school, it was the hottest time for the Olympics.

My daughter also took part in the Olympic math class for a period of time, because the Olympic math was not well circulated at that time and she could not enter the key classes of key middle schools.

However, Olympiad is a game of mathematical genius, which is not suitable for every child. My daughter took an Olympic math class for a while, which was a great blow. I didn't force her. Although I was very nervous, I saw that her self-confidence was affected by the Olympics, so she didn't continue her study. However, she is not bad at math at school, but quite good. When she entered junior high school, she did not enter the key class with the legendary Olympic math score. Therefore, you can't make decisions for your children just because of hearsay.

After the children went to junior high school, we specifically asked the principal of that middle school whether the children should learn Olympic Mathematics. He said that the Olympiad was not compulsory and he would not take the exam at first. Why do some children learn, they have this specialty, and the school is willing to give them awards, which is also the honor of the school and a good thing to do signs. Then I'm completely relieved. I don't want to learn olympiad, so I can learn math well at school.

I think a lot of repetitive exercises are essential for scientific study. We are in the environment of exam-oriented education, and we can't ignore its rules. It is important to ask children to get high marks in exams. Perhaps it is precisely because we attach importance to the scores and rankings of senior students that children must develop in an all-round way and not be partial to subjects. Therefore, the child is not biased.

In the first year of high school, the school was divided into liberal arts, and children chose liberal arts because of interest rather than poor science.

Take the American SAT (commonly known as the American College Entrance Examination), and your child gets full marks in mathematics. A few days ago, I sent a message telling me that I got full marks in the math quiz of economics class; Moreover, she enrolled in a math class, and after one class, she found it easier for her, so she changed to a more difficult class. The above are mainly some practices of senior primary school and junior high school.

In junior high school and senior high school, children have an advantage in English. When many children spend a lot of time on English, she can spare time and energy to study other subjects. In senior high school, all subjects except English have participated in extracurricular tutoring.

I really feel that high school English is different from junior high school English. I often remind some parents and friends not to think that a child's English is very good just because he can get 140 in junior high school English test. If his reading and vocabulary are not up, senior high school English will not be good.

In addition, we also support children to participate in extracurricular activities instead of studying hard. For example, when children were in high school, they participated in the International Space City Design Competition. The preliminaries and finals were held in Tsinghua University, and it took a lot of time. But we feel that the gains are enormous.

(2) Let children go out of campus and family to see the society and consciously cultivate their ability to face pain and suffering.

The child went to preschool when he was six years old. One day, he fell from a table at school, got a hole in his chin, and almost all his teeth were broken (fortunately, he had not changed his teeth at that time).

After wandering around some places, we finally found a doctor who can operate.

Thanks to the child's tenacious vitality, the doctor's exquisite skills and meticulous and difficult postoperative rehabilitation training, she recovered very well without leaving any sequelae.

My daughter is weak in appearance, but in fact she has some qualities that her peers don't have: strong, independent and caring. I believe all this must have something to do with her childhood accidents. "Those who can't kill me will make me strong." I think this sentence is really reasonable.

Since she was in high school, we have asked her to volunteer in the municipal social welfare home.

When my children and I first entered the welfare home, the sight of those disabled children really shocked my vision and mind. As an adult, I still did it, and the children's feelings can be imagined.

In the eyes of many parents in China, pain, suffering and death are unlucky, and it is best not to let children know.

Foreign countries are different from us in this respect. American children's education scholars believe that, in fact, most 3-year-old children have been exposed to the word "death". American parents always give the most straightforward and simple answers to their children's "death questions" and try to avoid specious or vague answers.

To this end, some primary schools in Europe and America even set up a unique "death class" and attached great importance to the "death education" for children.

In fact, in our country, more and more people of insight are calling for this issue.

Recently, at the roundtable on "Questioning the Dignity of Life: Mission and Care of Medicine", Bai thought that people in China were simply primary school students when discussing death, because China never really had death education.

In Guangzhou, the middle school attached to China Normal University, in the elective course of "European Cultural Journey", the teacher left a homework question for the students: If you die one day, how will your family or friends evaluate you at your funeral?

These are all meaningful attempts. Of course, some people think that these practices may leave a shadow on children's minds.

But I still tend to: don't rush to filter, let children have a chance to really face pain, suffering and imperfection.

Information can be filtered, but when pain, suffering and even death come, no one can stop it. This is something that God can't do!

My daughter, who walked into the welfare home for the first time, was with her father and me. She was very scared and timid.

Now the daughter, in the welfare home, is skilled in taking care of the elderly and enthusiastically giving lessons to the children.

My daughter, she didn't bring much substantial help to the children and the elderly there, but she gained more than a little while there.

In our life, there are not only happiness and happiness, but also pain and suffering.

It takes courage to face pain and suffering directly.

First of all, we must have the courage to teach children the courage to "face pain and suffering."

(3) Treat children's emotional problems correctly.

Parents should always be alert to the problem of puppy love among junior and senior high school children, intentionally or unintentionally. When my daughter was a sophomore, I once found the pursuit information of male students from her mobile phone text message.

The daughter rejected him, but while rejecting him, she also pointed out some shortcomings of the child. The child said that he would correct it and hoped that his daughter would give him a chance.

The daughter said that she had never had puppy love, and the child was just pursuing it.

I completely believe in children, but I also found that when the boy sent the message, it was already 2 am. That's a sophomore!

I said to my daughter, "you can just refuse, saying that the only goal now is to get into a good university and nothing else." Don't point out other people's shortcomings, he will mistakenly think that he will have a chance if he changes. This is not good for that classmate. You see, he doesn't rest so late. How does he go to class the next day? As you said, he is the top student in the key science class. If this matter affects him, how sad his parents will be when they know. When you grow up, you will feel sorry for others. We must protect ourselves from harm, but at the same time we must do it without hurting people. "

Children feel that what their mother said is reasonable, and I believe this kind of education is meaningful for their growth.

All my friends around me envy me for having such a good child, and even some friends say that I am "lucky".

In my opinion, raising children is like planting crops, and you can reap what you pay. Moreover, for my child, I think the happiest thing is not her so-called achievements. What makes me feel happy and gratified most is that my children are sunny, kind and caring. She's a great girl!

Once, someone asked me, "Is your child always so good?" Didn't she have a rebellious period? " I think back, my rhyme, she really has no so-called rebellious period. So, is it really because of my life? I don't think so.

What I want to say is: If you give your child enough love, enough companionship, enough trust and understanding, why should she rebel?

The children are still young. "There is still a long way to go, but this is Xiu Yuan.". We will continue to work hard!

Finally, there is a sentence I want to share with parents: "The only thing in life that you can get without hard work is failure." Children learn in this way, and so do we as parents in the process of raising children.

Answers to some questions:

Question: 1. There is something wrong with my child's information input. Don't look or understand when doing the problem. I'll understand when I read it to him. Is there any way for children to get rid of this bad habit?

Answer: I think this question is more representative. My little daughter is in grade two, and children in grade one and grade two often miss or mispronounce words when reading questions, which will lead to children not understanding or misunderstanding the meaning of the questions. This phenomenon is very common for children in grade one or two, and it is not a big problem.

Parents who want to ask questions should look at your questions carefully. First of all, you came to the conclusion that "there is something wrong with my child's information input" If this premature way of thinking, especially the negative conclusion and the conclusion of hitting children can be corrected, I hope parents can try their best to correct it, because this conclusion is a bad psychological hint for children.

Second, there is no problem with the child's "information input ability" because "after his parents read it to him, he will understand." She's just not used to reading questions by herself.

Third, how to solve the problem that children don't look at the questions? I think children should be allowed to read Chinese textbooks and extracurricular books and be guided to read aloud. Reading aloud requires concentration. The essence of reading aloud is that readers appreciate their own voice. Long-term adherence to reading aloud can form a good habit of seeing, listening, listening and feeling. Children's concentration will also improve. When reading wrong words, the phenomenon of missing words is naturally solved.

Most girls get good grades in the lower grades, and more and more boys surpass them in the higher grades. Why? How did you do that?

Answer: I think this question is very good.

But I think this understanding is a misunderstanding. If parents have this understanding, it will mislead girls if they often say such things casually in front of their children.

In fact, the more you go to top schools and top research fields now, girls are not weaker than boys, even stronger than boys. This seems to have become a social phenomenon, and experts have been studying this phenomenon, calling for "what happened to our boys?" Therefore, parents should study themselves and keep pace with the times. If they still hold old ideas and understandings, how can they guide their children correctly?

What I want to say is that the understanding that "girls are more and more surpassed by senior boys" is wrong in itself. Don't say this in front of your daughter.

3. Is it necessary to learn new concept English and Olympic Mathematics?

Answer: This question is about my major. I think we must learn new concept English, and we must finish the first two or even the third book in primary and junior high schools. Of course, it should be supplemented by reading a lot of other English books. To tell the truth, my daughter Yun Yun is a beneficiary of New Concept English.

I have a general idea and arrangement for children's learning: in primary school, English learning is the most important subject, and it is advanced learning, so I can finish junior high school English or even some senior high school English in primary school. This is entirely possible. English as a foreign language is easier to learn and master than our mother tongue. And I don't think English, as a language, needs too advanced comprehension. The study plan I made for my daughter at that time was that in primary school, English was basically passed. In junior high school and senior high school, when other children spend a lot of time learning English, we will have time to learn new science subjects. At this time, children's understanding ability and abstract thinking ability also grow with age. So I think English is a subject to be studied in advance in primary schools.

Grammar is a headache for many children when they learn English. New concept English can solve this problem well. The book focuses on vocabulary and grammar, but the purpose is not limited to grammar, so that children can combine context when learning grammar. In addition, the new concept adopts a circular upward path, which is more in line with people's natural learning path, that is, a language point appears many times in the textbook.

Of course, if you want to learn English well as a whole, it is definitely not enough to use new concepts, but if you want to learn grammar well, new concepts are completely competent.

I have already talked about the Olympics, so I won't go into details.

4. How to guide girls to become interested in science study?

Answer: This is a good question. It is estimated that many parents, especially the parents of little girls, are interested.

Before answering this question, I would like to ask parents to recall a common sense of life, that is, we usually don't like a certain kind of food at home, especially our taste. We usually find that our parents, especially our mothers, don't like this kind of food either. Of course, it's not because children don't like their mothers, but because mothers don't like them, which affects children's dislike, especially when children are young. Some young mothers are more casual. If you don't like a food, you will say "it tastes terrible" and "it doesn't taste good, you don't like it" in front of children. Nine times out of ten, the mother's children will not like this kind of food. I mean, mom's subtle influence is very important.

Back to this question, in the subconscious of China's parents, girls are not interested in science and are not good at it. Therefore, since my daughter was very young, toys, extracurricular books and even interest classes are obviously girly. It is naturally difficult for girls who grow up like this to be interested in science.

Therefore, parents can consciously read some scientific books to their children when they are young, such as "Magic School Bus" series and "100,000 Why". According to my two daughters' experience, they are equally interested in whatever books they read as children. Therefore, when choosing extracurricular reading materials for children, the scope involved should be as broad and rich as possible. In addition, let the daughter play some games that boys like, or consciously cultivate the children's practical ability. The most important thing is to let dad accompany the children and consciously let dad accompany his daughter to play, chat and travel. Men think and see things differently from our mothers, which is an important supplement for our daughter.

Although my eldest daughter, Yun Yun, chose liberal arts, she has always done well in science. She chose liberal arts because of interest, not because science is not good. At present, there are two majors in American universities, namely, liberal arts and science. Yun Yun participated in the International Space City Design Competition in high school and won the prize. These are all scientific knowledge.

Here I want to say that if parents have any questions about educating their children and are willing to discuss them with me, you can leave me a message and I will reply to your questions in time. Let's study together and make progress together.

Finally, there is a word for everyone: please tell yourself and your children that you just have to work hard and leave the rest to time.