I want a joke

if I have a lot of important words, give me your email and I will send it to you.

2. When Xiao Ming was waiting for the bus, one MM kept staring at him and smiling. He thought he was handsome and brave. After several laps, MM smiled more and more charming ... As a result, an aunt said: Young man, don't step on shit.

5. ` "This child looks exactly like me!" Eldest brother proudly said to his friend. "Don't be sad," the friend comforted. "It doesn't matter if the child is ugly, as long as it is healthy and lively."

8. `Turtle and snake go to the park with only one ticket. Turtle lets the snake wrap around its neck. When entering the park, the eagle who checks in says: Stop. The tortoise and snake were in a panic, and the eagle said, Look at your turtle, wearing a tie!

11. `The couple were having a lively fight when the police received a complaint and stopped them. An angry woman opens the door. Policeman: Who is the head of the household? Woman: I'll tell you later. My husband and I are deciding this matter!

12. `The teacher asked the students: How to explain "sharing the pain with others will halve the pain"? Xiao Lun replied: If my father hits me, I will immediately hit my brother!

13. `A father took his son, who just turned three, to a violin concert. Halfway through, the son suddenly asked his father: Dad, when can that man cut off that big wooden box?

14. `The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? Nobody answered … Teacher: Nobody knows? At this time, someone at the back of the classroom said: That's because the mind is calm and naturally cool ... < P > 15. `A peasant woman is counting tall buildings, and a liar comes over: How many floors have she counted? Fine, 5 yuan on each floor. Peasant woman: 15th floor. After paying the money, the bystander said: idiot. Peasant woman: He is stupid. In fact, I counted eighteen floors!

16. `Spiders compete for webs. Foreign spiders weave a wide web, proud: broadband! China spider flew up and down to weave a delicate ornament, laughing: A unique combination of heaven and earth, a Chinese knot!

2. `Once I took a bus, there were quite a lot of people on it. Suddenly, a sudden stop. I saw a man lean forward and hit a very fashionable woman. The man quickly apologized. The woman turned around and said to the man, "Look at your character." Just when everyone on the bus thought a war was about to break out. The man spoke: "Miss, this is not virtue, but inertia."

21. `The defendant promised his defense lawyer, "If you have the ability to make me go to prison for only half a year, then you will get an extra reward of $ 1OOO." As a result, he finally got his wish. The lawyer said while collecting money, "This is really a tough job. The judges originally wanted to be acquitted."

22. `A lady went to take a snapshot. After taking the photo, I went to get the photo of automatic development. After reading it, I exclaimed: Why do I look like a monkey? A woman in the back said coldly, that's mine. Yours will have to wait for five minutes.

23. `Wife: Hey, honey, it's Sunday, please wash the sheets. Husband: What's the hurry? Just cover it the other way around. Wife: Alas, you are too lazy. I reversed it once yesterday.

26. `Yesterday, a friend called me and asked if the mayor of Wuhan was called Jiang Bridge, but I saidno.. He said that when I was crossing the river in Wuhan by train, how did I see a billboard saying: Welcome to Wuhan Yangtze River Bridge!

28. After the English test, the English teacher said to the class representative: Let the students who didn't PASS stay. As a result, the class representative wrote on the blackboard: After school, stay not afraid of death.

29. `Husband: Honey, I was fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!

3. `On the first day of the obstetrician's practice, his wife asked him, "How was today?" The doctor said, "It's not too bad. Although the mother and the baby were not saved, the baby's father was finally saved."

31. `The ostrich stares at the giraffe for the first time. The giraffe runs away shyly, and the ostrich chases after it. Giraffe: Don't worry ... First time to meet you. Ostrich: I just want to ask … what brand of depilatory did you use?

33. `After watching the news, my wife excitedly asked: What would you like to tell me most if you flew into space on Shenzhou V? The husband grasped his wife's hand and said, the earth is still good and attractive!

36. `Pig Bajie was in tears. Wukong asked what happened. Bajie: I fell in love with a girl a few days ago, but I met her at a meat case in the vegetable market today.

4. `When a monkey eats, put it in his ass before eating! Because it ate a big peach last year and had a hard time pulling the core out, it measures everything now.