Ask for funny news, qq signature, or short stories.

1, you are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I smile because you are strong, I am rich because I sold you … pig!

2. Without wind, clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there is no sun, the moon will have no light; Without you ... idiots wouldn't exist.

3. When I was down and out, you were by my side; You were by my side when I was sick and injured; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side ... what bad luck to be with you!

4. Look ... Look ... Keep looking ... Look down ... Then look ... Look carefully ... Idiot! You can watch it if you want. !

I want to wish you a happy Valentine's Day, but no one is with you. I want to wish you a happy May Day, but you have lost your ability to work. Finally, you can be above Women's Day, but you don't have the right!

6, I am ugly, 1 m 49, primary school culture, rural hukou, no house, no deposit, wandering around, working and living, doing nothing, drinking a little wine, sending a text message, Doby puppy.

7. I wish you: the banquet is open every day. If you make money, you can expect commitment. Love is like the Great Sage of Epilepsy, righteousness is like Huo Yuanjia, and body is as strong as King Kong. Everything goes well beyond myth!

8. What happened? ! I dialed your cell phone just now. After the bell rings, the mobile phone prompts: You are looking for a foreign pig. Please dial the pigsty area code before the number. I can't believe it! ! ! Call again and say: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is being killed! ! !

9. If you receive this message, you just like me. If you delete it, you have a crush on me If you reply to the message, you just want to marry me. If you don't, you promise to marry me. If you modify it, it will be mine. If you save it, the rest of your life will be mine. It's up to you

Qq signature:

1, please don't call me an otaku, please tell me to close the house; Please don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie.

Debut at the age of 2.0, progressive at the age of 65, ambitious at the age of 438+00, hardworking at the age of 30, basically oriented at the age of 40, popular everywhere at the age of 50, playing mahjong at the age of 60, wandering around at the age of 70, being a lesbian at home at the age of 80, and hanging on the wall at the age of 90.

When I woke up, it was already dark.

4, I don't tidy the room, I am a beauty in a messy room!

My brother smokes because he hurts his lungs, so he is not sad.

I am nostalgic because I can't see the future.

Short stories:

1, Zhang Jie took Nana to swim in Stephen Chow. Suddenly, it was windy in Nicholas Tse and it began to rain. I saw a Nicky Wu jump out of the water. Nicky Wu and Ekin Cheng rode Ka Kui Wong and took Nana. Jason took Emil Wakin Chau, stepped on Jay Chou, crossed Zhao Benshan, Jolin Tsai, Pan Changjiang, seized Nana and returned to Guo Fu.

2. Three little pigs. Who is pig A, where is pig B and what is pig C? One day, pig A and pig Li Li were at the door, and pig C was on the roof. A wolf found them and wanted to eat them, so he rushed to pig A. ...

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: Yes!

Wolf: What?

Pig A: What's on the roof?

Wolf: I mean what's your name?

Pig A: Who's my name and what's on the roof?

The wolf asked pig B again.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig B: Who am I? (Pointing to pig A)

Wolf: You know what?

Pig B: Hmm.

Wolf: Who is it?

Pig B: Yes.

Wolf: What?

Pig B: What's on the roof?

Wolf: Where?

Pig B: Where am I?

Wolf: Who?

Pig B: Who is it? (pointing to pig head a again)

Wolf: How should I know?

Pig B: Who are you looking for?

Wolf: What?

Pig B: On the roof.

Wolf: Where?

Pig B: It's me.

Wolf: Who?

Pig B: I'm not who, but who.

Wolf: Good heavens!

Pig A Pig B: "My God" is our father.

Wolf: What, it's your father?

Pig B: No.

The wolf couldn't stand it any longer and sighed, "Why?"

Pig ABC: Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf: What?

Pig A: No, why our grandfather.

Wolf: Why?

Pig A: Yes!

Wolf: What's this?

Pig A: No, it's why.

Wolf: Who?

Pig A: Who am I?

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: Yes, who am I?

Wolf: What?

Pig AB: On the roof.

……

Finally, the wolf committed suicide.