Humorous, funny and self-deprecating sentences

Complete works of humorous and self-deprecating sentences

In real life or work and study, everyone must have been exposed to some commonly used sentences, which can be divided into simple sentences and complex sentences according to different structures. So what kind of sentences are more infectious? The following sentences are humorous and self-deprecating. Welcome to read the collection.

I am a wolf from the south. This society never appreciates this style, preferring moderation and stability. So I have been working hard for decades.

I often ask myself why I am more and more tolerant of vulgarization of culture. I often console myself. Maybe I have become tolerant as I get older, but now it seems that I am really degenerating.

There is a military wizard named Degang Guo in Beijing. Wen can start writing, get on the horse, and make up his mind to do it. On the kang, you know the ladies-in-waiting, and on the kang, you know the shoes.

4. My eyes are not as electric as Tony Leung Chiu Wai's, my figure is not as good as Aaron Kwok's, and I am not as handsome as Andy Lau's, but my smile is more evil than theirs. Because I am a man show man.

5. Two crumbling houses; Someone who speaks with a southern accent and a northern accent.

6. We haven't eaten for several days, and everyone is like pancakes.

7. "White collar" paid his salary today, paid the rent, utilities, bought oil, rice and instant noodles, felt the money left in his pocket and sighed: Alas! This month's salary is white-collar again!

8. The most beautiful tacit understanding is that as long as he says a word of grass, I will make the bed silently.

9. Don't be infatuated with elder sister. I take off my makeup and make you vomit blood.

10, if there is a problem, find the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

1 1, Gao Fushuai's wallet is like a flower, which makes people smile every time you open it. My wallet is like an onion, which makes people cry every time I open it!

12, I don't even have a life. Where can I get an emotional life?

13, it is useless to be handsome before the law.

14, I don't know if I went to college or the college fucked me.

15, you call me ugly, but I tell you, I am old and talented. Why do you think this is?

Behind every successful man, there is a woman, but I failed because there are two women behind me.

17, without the pouring of love, I am like a dry road. This kind of life is really hard for me to feel at ease. Seeing that my friends have become fathers, I have lived a happy and harmonious life. Am I not deeply envious and eager to get rid of poverty and get rich emotionally?

18, gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.

19, fell asleep while eating. Yes, I have reached the peak of laziness. How depressing! After the summit, there is nothing to fight for.

20. I am the most normal among abnormal people and the most abnormal among normal people.

2 1, flowers often do not belong to people who appreciate flowers, but to cow dung.

22. Others say that I am poor-looking, but my mother is very rare. My mother said she took me to the park when I was a child. Many old people came around and asked my mother, "Sister, where did you buy this monkey?" Now I have grown up!

23. I have not only a car, but also my own car.

24. I am a white-collar worker: I got paid today, paid the rent, utilities, bought instant noodles with oily rice, touched my pocket and sighed. I am a white-collar worker again this month …

25. Nothing is easy nowadays. I try to be the best dancer among the hosts and the best host among the dancers.

26, the process of practicing dance, every experience is unforgettable, blood and tears, bone-breaking, countless!

27, Valentine's Day is coming, I am very upset, I can't find a lover, no one wants roses, but there are beautiful girls, have a heart, let me take a dip, tell me the house number, roses and hugs, and send them right away.

28. There are four kinds of income: hard work is not allowed, more work is less, less work is more, and no work is crazy. Fortunately, I am the second kind!

29. In the past, everyone always called me poor diaosi, short and poor, short, fat and ugly. Today, I know that I can have a more appropriate name-dohihara!

30. Not only am I lucky, but my beriberi is also good!

3 1, today people are still singing Li Bai's poems, and the bright moon is still like Li Bai's poems. I learn from Li Bai's understanding of the bright moon, white, bright moon! Li Bai can make poems to nourish the spirit. I have a hundred cups of poems today. Although I am ashamed that I don't have Li Bai's talent, I don't feel ugly. I don't go aboard, and I don't sleep.

As a female diaosi, my only pursuit is that people are thinner than cucumbers and their faces are thicker than soles.

33. If my face is mixed-race, at most, it is a mixed-race of Vietnam helping Cambodia.

What I have done is so insignificant. But what I do is very important.

From now on, I am no longer greedy, but I just love to eat.

36. I try to lose weight every day except during meals. You still say I have no perseverance?

37. Every day, no one talks on QQ, no one looks for it, no one sends a message, no one calls, no one goes back to Weibo ... so even if I disappear, no one will find out.

38. Facing the people in front of me, I want to cross and be smart. I know you're watching. It's fake. ...

39. I am also an infatuated seed, but it rained ... and I drowned.

40. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but I am poor.

4 1, Taohuawu in Taohuaan, Taohuaan under Taohuaxian. Peach Fairy cultivates peach trees, picks them and drinks them. When you wake up, you just sit in front of the flowers, and when you are drunk, you come to sleep under the flowers. Half drunk and half awake day after day, flowers bloom year after year.

42. I am the best actor in film and television, the best director among actors, the most skillful screenwriter among directors and the funniest comedian among screenwriters. You have to exert your comprehensive strength these days.

43. I drown my sorrows in wine, but this damn pain taught me to swim.

Although I look abnormal, I am actually old and talented!

45. My friends always say that I am awkward at first sight. Actually, I'm not embarrassed at all. I don't believe you will be careful ... I might as well have a look!

46. Fortunately, it is a pig, unfortunately, it is a person. I am lucky and unfortunate. At least I sleep like a pig.

47. When I was a child, I was a genius. After more than 20 years of education, I have finally been successfully cultivated into a mediocrity!

Before I got married, I was like a free bird. Now it's a chained dog!

49. It is expected that Qingyun will not grow long, but white hair will grow longer.

50. Men have gold under their knees. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin.

5 1, I am not single, I have a girl with a hard disk.

52. I deliberately study, work, live and live like a person!

53. There was once a sister who always asked me to help her install software, system, computer, debris and junk files. At first, I thought this girl was too stupid, but now I know that I am too stupid.

54. One billion children died of paper, incense and moving bricks. Thousands of miles of construction site, nowhere to be sad. When the goddess saw that I shouldn't know, she bled and stabbed her heart. In the early morning, Auricularia suddenly came home, his clothes were messy and he was making up his makeup. There is nothing to say, only a thousand lines of tears. It is expected to sell souls every night, Durex and Jasper.

55, how is it possible to have an uneven chest?

56. Pride of a git: It's better to be a git than a stable. At least no one shit on his head.

57. My Excellence will not make me conceited, and I will not be conceited because of my greatness. I thought it was the only way to make a girl have a crush on me, but I haven't had any signs or clues so far.

58. There are more than 1000 traditional cross talks. After our efforts, there are still 400 yuan left …

I don't count the stars after work every day, and sometimes I can watch the sunrise.

60. Actually, I used to be quite tall, but later I often took a shower and shrunk.

6 1, who said that being single is not good, love is precious, and the free price is higher? If you die single, you can throw them both away.

62. The moon sets in the western hills, sighing at midnight, and it is difficult to wait for a ticket. Don't laugh when you drink too much on the construction site, save money and earn money. Gao Fushuai doesn't know how to cry, so it's easy to throw away the money. Why do you need to return home at the beginning of the year when you are homesick? Who doesn't like the warmth of country wine and just wants to return home next year?

63. I am a professor who does not sit on the stage. I always leave after class. ...

64. After my counseling, I instigated how many people on the verge of suicide tried to kill people.

65, half-life down and out has become an Weng, learning the whistling night wind alone. The pearls at the bottom of the pen have nowhere to sell, but they are thrown into wild vines.

Thanks to my eyes, no matter how small or narrow, I can see, sunrise and sunset, flowers bloom and fall.

67. Beowulf sold his life and fought to the death to defend it. Scholars sell arguments and ruin the name of Confucius in the summer. Local tyrants sell people and flatter corrupt officials. There is nothing in my family except the old saying.

68. The most useless thing in the world-paycheck, looks angry and wipes his ass too carefully.

69. The sun shines on the earth! Welcome to the theater! If you want to ask me who I am, my nickname is Little Gong Li!

70. If you are destined to depend on others, choose an ideal environment.

7 1, why do I love short hair? Because my long hair looks like a turtle swimming ashore, and it is covered with a lot of seaweed.

72. Four major tragedies in life: long drought meets rain; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominating a gold medal, dream.

If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent. ...

74. I hope I die of old age. I don't want to bow in front of the car. Car dust and clues show things, and wine is hidden in snuff. If the revealer is compared to a hermit, one is underground and the other is in heaven. If we compare Hua San to horses and chariots, I will have no leisure.

75. There is a cold murder hidden under my pure appearance. The scientific name of this murder case is "Man Show".

76. When paying my salary, the accountant said to me, "You should pay your salary every six months. There is too little change now ... "

77. My face is so clean that flies will die if they lie there. Sadly, my pocket is cleaner than my face.

Humorous self-deprecating sentences 2 1. I will come to you in my next life, because you are the stupidest person besides me.

2. Don't blame the dog for looking like a steamed stuffed bun!

Occasionally, if you live in silence, you will feel great, but if you live in silence, you will be miserable. ...

When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a step gun and a machine gun.

I went to the city to take part in the pigeon racing yesterday, but I went alone.

6. What should I do if I meet a snake in the wild? Don't panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile and pretend to be Xu Xian.

7. There must be a road in front of the driveway, and I can't stop it.

8. Mom said: Even if you are jealous, pretend to play soy sauce, and don't let others look down on you.

9. I am a special person. I am an ordinary person, so I am an extraordinary person.

10. Life is like a news broadcast, and you can't escape by changing the channel.

1 1. I used to like her broad mind, but it was just an airport!

12. Because I love you wholeheartedly, I can only give you up mercilessly.

13. You look very creative and live bravely!

14. No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

15. It is forbidden to urinate here, and tools will be confiscated.

16. The sky is falling, you support me!

17. Listen to you and leave me ten books!

18. Brother, can you lower the resolution on your face a little?

19. If the exam rewards QB, then the country will become rich and strong immediately.

20. When you have no money, eat wild vegetables at home; If you have money, go to the hotel to eat wild vegetables.

2 1. The furthest distance in the world is not that you and I live far away, but that our classmates are in different rooms.

22. I like to make friends with 2B, as long as I get along with people who call me stupid.

23. Parents: Please don't call your children "Bunny", because from a genetic point of view, this is very bad for you.

24. Men who go home early tell stories to their wives; Men who come home late make up stories for their wives.

25. The first love is infinitely good, but it hangs early.

Humorous and self-deprecating sentence 3 1, after studying for more than ten years, I think kindergarten is better!

2. The most mysterious department in history: related departments.

3. When I was pursuing Happyness, I was afraid that I would not be at home, so I was always at home.

Sometimes, I want to be full in my dreams.

Because I am not an ordinary person, I have never spoken Mandarin.

6. The sky didn't fall on me, so it broke my heart and hurt my bones and muscles.

It's a long way to Xiu Yuan, so let's take a taxi.

8. When there is a bright moon, look up by yourself.

9. I don't even want a basin for spilled water.

10, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me?

1 1. When we were young, we treated toys as friends, and when we grew up, our friends treated us as toys.

12, the sunshine is warm and the years are quiet. How can I get old before you come?

13, I love you all my life.

14, don't always be hot and cold to me, in that case I'm afraid of catching a cold.

15, I am a passerby who you turn around and forget. Why should I accompany you to the ends of the earth?

16, please get old, and don't hold me with inferior thread in the future, it will break from time to time.

17, talking about money does not hurt feelings, but talking about feelings hurts money the most.

18. If a man doesn't help you put on a wedding dress, you can give him a cassock.

19, the right way in the world is vicissitudes, don't be too arrogant to live.

20. I usually forget to scold you. You didn't know you were both civil and military until you hit him.

2 1, for me who can't control my mouth and is too lazy to die, it's already a weight loss not to continue to gain weight.

22. No one in this world is inseparable from others. Even fish can be roasted without water.

23. The so-called growth means that when you hear the word "choppy", you can no longer associate it with the sea.

24, doing homework is like a batch of memorials, and the mobile phone is like a scorpion, which is pestering you, pestering you, pestering you.

25. Learn to study and you will find that God has closed the window of English for you, closed the door of mathematics by the way, blocked the drain pipe of physics and blocked the sewer of chemistry.

26. Don't wait for your roommate to go to bed and hang around in the dormitory, or you will be treated like a dog.

If you don't receive any news from me on Christmas Eve or Christmas, please don't doubt our friendship. I'm just poor.

28. It is said that in front of the person you like, your IQ will get lower. Am I in love with the math teacher?

Violence cannot solve the problem. Come on, let's sit down calmly and praise me for an hour.

30. Some girls are like lotus flowers. Some girls are like peony flowers, noble and elegant. Some girls are like plum blossoms, cold and aloof. And you are fleshy.

3 1, it is said that the wind is like a mother's hand, touching us gently. Nima, today's wind is like a stepmother's hand, screaming to death with her mouth open.

32. Don't always belong to single dog and single dog. You should be a single turtle by age, a single pig by size, and a single idiot by IQ.

33. It's getting cold. Remember to wear more clothes, especially when changing seasons, otherwise you will catch a cold, infect me and blow your head off.

One day, you will meet a girl who doesn't want your house, your car, your diamonds, your money and your good girl.

35. What do you mean by Xiu En 'ai dying fast? That is, girls sleep on boys' shoulders every day. Finally, the boy got scapulohumeral periarthritis and the girl got cervical spondylosis and died.

36. Who says that boys and girls don't have pure friendship? Nonsense, as long as you are ugly, the whole world is a friend.

37. There is a woman who is so cute, so cute and so stupid that I really want to hit on her. I just want to walk over and remember that the employer is a woman!

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