Funny text messages to send to friends

One day, the three turtles, the turtle father, the turtle mother, and the turtle son, decided to go for an outing. I brought a Shandong pancake and two cans of sea chicken to Yangmingshan. After ten years of hard work, it’s finally here. Sit on the ground, take off your equipment, and get ready to eat.

****~~~Damn it! ! No can opener!

Turtle dad said: "Turtle son...go back and get it!!"

Gangster: Hello! (With a fierce look)

Chu Yuxun: First, my name is not Hey, my name is Chu Yuxun. Second, you ruined my good mood. Third,...

Gangster: You have also ruined my good mood. Stop talking nonsense and take the money!

Chu Yuxun: Tsk~ Why are you like this? Money is just a symbol, it can represent many meanings. I think it is better not to discuss this issue now.

Gangster: ...(reacted for a while) Take the money! money!

Chu Yuxun: Do you only have money in your eyes? If you need money, you can earn it with your own efforts. You should study hard now so that you will not be eliminated by society in the future. Besides, there are many important things in a person's life that cannot be bought with money, and I I don’t want you to use the word money to trample on my dignity...

Gangster: (Hearing a headache and feeling painful) Okay, okay, you can go

Chu Yu Nettle: If you act like this, it will only make your family sad, and society will no longer be a good place because of your presence

Gangster: (collapses) Can you leave! !

Chu Yuxun: I haven’t finished speaking yet, I think...

Gangster: Ah! ~~~~~~ (Sayazi ran away)

Gangster: Hey, hand over the money!

Murong Yunhai: (Adjusting his hair style) Am I handsome?

Gangster: (dumbfounded) What did you say?

Murong Yunhai: Let me ask you, am I handsome? (laughing stupidly)

Gangster: This... (suddenly remembers that he is robbing) I don’t care whether you are handsome or not, bring the money!

Murong Yunhai: I’ll give you one minute to apologize!

Gangster: (drawing knife) Stop talking nonsense, money!

Murong Yunhai: I hate others threatening me the most!

One punch and the gangster loses the prize.

Gangster: Spare your life...

Murong Yunhai: Then tell me, am I handsome today? (Raising his head proudly)

Gangster: (like a chicken pecking at rice) Handsome, handsome!

Murong Yunhai: Okay, you can go, remember not to let me see you again next time!

Gangster: Yes, (running and shouting) Brother Yunhai, I love you...

Murong Yunhai sneered: It's not my fault that I'm rich and handsome!

Gangster: Take out the money!

Duanmulei: (looking at him melancholy)

Gangster: Hey, I’m talking about you!

Duanmulei: (eyes become more melancholy)

Gangster: (annoyed) Don’t act stupid, take the money!

Duanmulei: Can I play a piece of music for you?

Gangster: (dumbfounded) Playing music?

Duanmulei: (gentlely) Yes, it is a very soothing world-famous song. Yu Xin taught me it.

Gangster: (instantly killed by the look) Okay, but I don’t have a piano at home!

Duanmulei: It doesn’t matter. Let’s go to the school’s music classroom. I have a special concert there today.

Gangster: But, but, I don’t have any money with me to listen to you play music. I don’t have money to buy tickets...

Duanmulei: It doesn’t matter, I’ll pay for the tickets for you.

Gangster: (killed by melancholy eyes again) Thank you! ! Then let's go.

Gangster: Robbery, hand over the money!

Shangguan Ruiqian: (doesn’t believe it) Robbery? joke!

Gangster: Just for robbery!

Shangguan Ruiqian: (disdainfully) Do you have a knife?

Gangster: (scraps, pulls out the knife) Here it is!

Shangguan Ruiqian: (Shocked, damn, he really has a knife) Brother, please tell me if you have something to say

Gangster: Don’t get too close, money! !

Shangguan Ruiqian: (smiling flatteringly) Brother, let me introduce you to a beautiful girl...

Gangster: (impatiently) Brother has a girlfriend, hurry up and get it money! !

Shangguan Ruiqian: (thinking hard, trying to find a solution) Brother, I’m not married yet, and I haven’t enjoyed a beautiful life yet. Just let me go. I have an elder and a younger one...( Trying to squeeze out tears)

Gangster: (thinking) Not married? There are old people on top and young people on the bottom who are nagging, take out the money.

Shangguan Ruiqian: (Seeing that the gang is being tricked, he makes another plan) I am one of Alliston's H4s. The principal is afraid of us. If you are sensible, let me go!

Gangster: (Disdainful) I only know F4, not H4. Take the money!

Shangguan Ruiqian: (Damn, I don’t care about soft and hard, I can only show my trump card) Look, it’s a handjob! (Pointing to the sky)

The gangster raised his head and Shangguan trotted away and disappeared.

Gangster: Come on, hand over the money!

Ye Shuo: Wait a minute, I will finish this website first.

Gangster: No, call for the money now!

Ye Shuo: (anxiously) It will be ready soon, just one step away, just wait for ten more minutes.

Gangster: (confused) What kind of broken website is this?

Ye Shuo: I built a game website myself. Have you ever played "Legend"?

Gangster: (Excited) Do you also play "Legend"?

Ye Shuo: That’s the game I designed! (Proud)

Gangster: (Admired) Really, you are so awesome! Many of my colleagues play it.

Ye Shuo: (The robbers all play "Legend") No wonder your skills are getting better and better!

Gangster: How long will it take?

Ye Shuo: It will be ready soon. Just sit aside and wait for a while.

Gangster: (Sit down obediently) Don’t be in a hurry, designing the game is important.

Ye Shuo: I'm thirsty. Can you buy me a bottle of water? (Pull out ten dollars)

Gangster: No, I have money! You wait. (Running quickly to the canteen).

The turtle mother said: "Good boy... Hurry up! Your parents will wait for you to come back and have dinner together... Go and come back soon"

The turtle son said: "You must wait for me to come back." !Don’t break your promise!..』

The turtle son is on his way home...

Time flies, 20 years have passed, and the turtle son has not yet appeared...

Turtle mother couldn't stand it anymore: "Honey... do you want to start eating? I'm so hungry..."

Turtle father said: "No... How can a promise be child's play?" I promised my son...wait for him for another five years, and if he doesn't come, I will leave him alone!"

The turtle father said that in the blink of an eye, it has been another five years...and there is no sign of his son.

No matter it!! The two elders decided to start! Take out the big cake and love each other deeply

The turtle father said: "Honey... you eat first!"

The turtle mother said: "Son... I'm sorry! Mom is so hungry that I can't bear it!"

Opening her mouth wide, the cake was hurt! It's too late to say it will be soon...

The turtle son came from the tree Then it jumped out:

"Fuck!! I knew you would eat it secretly!!

Trick me to go back and get the can opener?!!

I'll wait After twenty-five years, I finally waited for it!!