"My boyfriend can't afford a house, should I break up?"

1

“My boyfriend can’t afford a house, should I break up?”

After receiving this WeChat message, I held my phone for a long time. There is no reply because it comes from Lin Zi who has a good relationship with her boyfriend but has been having conflicts over the house issue.

I met Lin Zi at a reading party. She was born in 1991 and is from Dalian. She has a typical northern girl character. She is lively and cheerful and loves to laugh. She is not outstanding in appearance but looks very comfortable.

If you live in a small town, then 90% of your love partners are from the same place as you. But it is different for people who are drifting away. You may fall in love with someone who is far away from your hometown. Lin Zi and her boyfriend are like opposite sexes who are thousands of miles apart.

Lin Zi’s boyfriend is a programmer from Chongqing. He is 183cm tall, handsome and sunny. Like Lin Zi, he also loves to laugh and make trouble, so they have been together for more than 2 years, and they are still in love even after seeing each other again. The passion and romance of the time. They rarely quarreled, but when they did, it was always because of the house.

Lin Zi’s parents are both Dalian workers. They hope that Lin Zi can live a good life in Beijing and find a man who can afford a house to marry. However, the man Lin Zi fell in love with cannot afford a house now and often fantasizes about it. She returned to Chongqing to live with herself. The reason was that Chongqing's housing prices were much lower than those in Beijing and her family could still afford the down payment. Beijing was really unaffordable. Lin Zi originally wanted to take her boyfriend home to meet her parents, but her parents immediately rejected her on the grounds that there is no need to continue dating a man who cannot afford a house.

Lin Zi was unwilling to give up. On the one hand, she put pressure on her boyfriend to apply for a residence permit to see the house as soon as possible. On the other hand, she was frustrated and uneasy because of repeated failed communication with her family. She once said that she could not accept not being blessed by her parents. Marriage, but she can't give up this relationship. She remembers her boyfriend's kindness to her.

Whenever I go home for a long vacation, I will inevitably be called by my parents to ask questions. My parents who were dissatisfied with Lin Zi’s boyfriend did a lot of work during the Spring Festival holiday, so Lin Zi asked me for my opinion. news.

I later replied to her: "Two people have to be together for a lifetime. If you think he is reliable and worthy of your persistence for him, then communicate with him and firmly believe in staying in Beijing, and at the same time do Hard preparation:

On the one hand, you need to continue to communicate with your parents, tell them your true thoughts, and let them support your relationship. On the other hand, you need to not only be lovers with your boyfriend, but also As comrades, let's work hard for the dream of staying in Beijing. If you let go today, you will definitely regret your decision in the future. Maybe one day you finally get a house, but find that you have lost your love. Stick to it, adults must learn to make choices and be responsible for their own choices. When I met Mr. Z, I had just switched from a traditional industry to the Internet. He also just graduated. Although the salary of a programmer is much better than that of other industries, if he wants to buy a house in Beijing, it can only be a dream.

I still remember that before we officially started dating, he asked me, "Do you want to stay in Beijing?" I said with anticipation, "Yes." He nodded and said firmly: "Then let's work hard together! "Perhaps it's because we have the same goals and life dreams? Soon we came together and we both firmly believed that we would be able to put down roots in this hot land.

Love is always romantic, but marriage and life are realistic. Life is not only about romance, but also about daily necessities, so after dating for half a year, we started looking at houses. But just like the current situation in Linzi, after looking around, we found that there was no real estate for which we could afford the down payment. It would be false to say that we would not be hit, but we did not become discouraged because of this, but started to calculate the deposit and down payment. gap and find ways to keep shortening it.

In fact, it is inevitable to encounter problems outside, whether it is buying a house or something else. But your attitude after encountering a problem will really determine the outcome of the matter to a large extent. Some people will sigh and complain when they see high housing prices, while some people will constantly think of ways to solve the problem of high housing prices and unaffordability. We belong to the latter group.

If we couldn’t afford it in Beijing, we would look around the surrounding areas. If the down payment was not enough, we would pool it together. So after dating for a year, we looked at an affordable house in the surrounding areas of Beijing. What we thought at the time If we can't afford Beijing, we might as well buy somewhere farther away. At least we won't have no place to live in the future. When our lives improve, we can change.

Later, we missed the house. Due to some policy reasons in Beijing, the value of the house had increased by over one million. The increase in value was not the most important thing. What was important was that it meant that we could sell the house directly. Bought in Beijing. Dreams that were once out of reach seemed to come true in the blink of an eye.

Another convenience of being in a first-tier city is that you can keep abreast of policy information and real estate trends. We originally planned to sell the house and buy it in Beijing, but last year we suddenly found that we had a small amount of savings. At that time, a colleague of Mr. Z bought a small studio of more than 20 square meters in a certain community. At first, I looked at it We couldn't afford it, but after calculation, our existing savings were enough for the down payment of a 30-square-meter house. With the experience of buying the first house, the second house was purchased more smoothly. What a coincidence, the same is true for this house. Just after we bought it, we caught up with the new real estate policies. Within a few months, the house price appreciated from the initial 920,000 we purchased to nearly 1.6 million now.

This also means that we will once again use low cost to leverage the originally unattainable housing prices. We are planning to sell the small studio and directly exchange it for a two-bedroom apartment in the same community. After calculating the down payment and taxes, when we learned that we could change houses, we actually lost the excitement and excitement we had at first. It seemed that everything was falling into place at this moment. But I have to say, this feeling of working hard and slowly realizing your dream with the wealth you have accumulated is really exciting!

3

I saw a girl’s story on Zhihu before. She said, “My ex-boyfriend couldn’t afford a house, so they broke up. But the reason for the breakup was that he said, ‘My mother let me If I find a girlfriend who owns a house, I won’t have to buy a house. I didn’t do that, so you see how much I love you”, and then play games every day.

My current boyfriend can’t afford a house either. But I am happy every day. What I am afraid of is not a life without a house, but a future without any hope.”

So you see, boys who say that girls are utilitarian and want to marry with a house, obviously There are many girls who are reasonable. If they break up with you because of the house, they may not dislike you for not having a house, but dislike you for not being motivated, which prevents her from seeing a bright future.

I recently visited a house and met a lot of new real estate agents. Today, because I was writing this article, I did a small interview. The real estate agent said that he has been selling real estate for more than five years and has a 30% -40% of home buyers are young couples, and many couples like us have gone from not owning a house to owning a small house, and then upgrading from a small house to a large house.

This is the worst of times, because we have to bear the pressure brought by the rapid development of society. This is also the best of times, because we can find someone with the same life goals to work together. , until the dream shines into reality. In the process of two people working hard for their dreams, they will encounter various problems, but the power of love is also great. The happiness gained by working together to overcome obstacles and move forward bravely will always be much more practical and reliable than sitting back and enjoying the results.

If you are a boy, I hope you can also meet a girl who believes in you and is willing to work with you to create a future; if you are a girl, I hope you can also be confident and self-reliant, and don’t Throw all the pressure on the other person, but stand with him and give yourself the ability to marry love, and as long as you love each other and work hard enough, everything else, time will eventually bring to you.