My boyfriend advised me to stay up less and drink more water. I'm sorry, you can really care less …

Colleague Xiao Qi broke up with her boyfriend some time ago. They have been in different places for many years, and they are both their first love. Although we have never been optimistic about them in a different place, we can only bless them silently when we look at the power of their love.

Two days ago, Xiao Qi cried like a crybaby and asked me out for a drink. She told me at midnight that they had broken up. She spoke before I asked her why.

"I dumped him!"

"What's the matter with you? I think he's very kind to you, huh? Always be caring and attentive ... "

"I just can't stand this! You said that we have been together for so long, and he still has no life plan. I'm a copywriter. Well, it is normal to work overtime and stay up late. If I don't work overtime, do you want me to drink northwest wind the next day? But every time on the phone, he said, you stay up less, drink more water, stay up less and drink more water. I want to drink more water and not stay up late, but who can support me? "

"I think he also cares about you." I tried to comfort her.

"care? Please, I don't need lip service. After so many years, I said we should save money to buy a house, and he said wait. I said we can't stay away from home all the time. He is still waiting. I said when to see my parents get married, but he still waited. He can't share many practical problems for me, just saying that it is useful for me to pay attention to my body? "

"……"

"Yes, I dumped him! I don't need someone to speak ill of me on the phone every day. I want to find someone who really cares about me. Wish me luck! "

Yes, we don't want to listen to those lies when looking for someone to fall in love and get married. In fact, we need someone who can really do something for you and let you see the progress of your life.

We are always used to using our own cognition to comfort others, and using my good attitude to prove our concern for you, while real actions are few and far between. Similar to a moral kidnapping, it is difficult to adapt and refuse.

I think, your concern can actually be less in words and more in actions …

2

I read a similar story in Tik Tok before.

A girl runs a bar. Because of her special occupation, it is common to stay up late drinking, but her boyfriend has repeatedly advised her to stay up less and pay attention to her health.

The girl asked him, "I won't stay up late, will you watch the shop for me?" I'm not opening a bar. Do you support me? "

She said that he had no ability to solve problems at all, but she raised these boring questions …

Whether we treat relatives, friends or lovers, many times what we say will give us an illusion. I care about you very much and I love you very much. In fact, we just touched ourselves with satisfaction and left the pressure to others.

In the words of girls, "this is not love, this is an incompetent selfishness …"

Many times, we are selfish, unwilling to make more efforts, but blindly want to occupy the moral high ground and ask one problem after another in the name of caring for you, but people can't see the solution.

So the teacher will say, study hard, and he will not consider whether your family conditions can meet your learning requirements. A student who has the money and time to go to cram school has excellent grades, and a child from a poor family who helps his parents with housework after school always fails. You said you should study hard, and I said you were sick. If you can't help his family, how can you simply ask him to study?

Many times, what we really need is someone who really understands you and cares about you from your point of view, not selfish satisfaction.

three

I once saw a movie and was deeply impressed.

In a family with a second child, after having a son, parents swear to their eldest daughter that they will treat them equally, but the result is always biased.

When my daughter is older, my father always buys her all kinds of cosmetics and takes her on blind dates. He thinks that giving her a good home is the best arrangement.

But in fact, what my daughter really likes is racing, and her dream is to become a professional racing driver, but she can't tell her father all this.

Every day her parents will nag in her ear, "How can you get married like this in the future!" "I am for your own good. What will I do if I don't work all day? " "How can you stay at home all day like this? I found you a job and go to work tomorrow! "

The girl collapsed. She listened to her parents' concern, but she hated her family more and more and even didn't want to go home again. In the end, she chose to commit suicide and jumped off the roof with her favorite sports car model …

Therefore, our parents always say, "I'm doing what's best for you." However, I seldom want to really take the time to know what children really think. What you think about your care and kindness will actually become a burden in many cases.

When talking about an object, we always hope that the other person can get what he wants, and that she understands your concern and your love for her. But what can you do? You just talk on the other end of the phone and touch yourself, and it doesn't solve any problems. Maybe when we are in love, we will be moved by each other, but after a long time, when we start to face life, those love words will become false.

If you can't solve the problem, don't ask too many questions, because no one will go back and answer.

four

Colleague Xiao Qi is single again. In her words, she is very comfortable these days. After the vows of eternal love when I was young, I have to return to reality after all. She knows better what she needs. Not everyone can take care of themselves on the phone. She just wants someone to go shopping with her on sunny days, hold an umbrella for herself when it rains, cook a bowl of instant noodles for herself when she stays up late, and stay with her when she is injured.

Please take care of the person who will only advise you to stay up late and drink more water. Your concern, in fact, only touched yourself and gave others a burden.