What kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder does a woman have that even a good man can't stand?

There is a question on Zhihu: What is the difference between love and marriage?

In my opinion, love is very simple. When two couples are together, whether they are rich or not, they will feel happy, but the marriage is different. Marriage can not be without material foundation, nor can it rely solely on love. This is very complicated.

Marriage involves a wide range, which involves not only two people's three views, their respective lifestyles, but also their families. In the past, the slightest unremarkable move may cause an uproar in marriage and put it in danger.

Marriage needs patience, perseverance and responsibility more than love, and it needs two people to manage it seriously together. No matter how sweet they are when they are in love and how their relationship is after marriage, the ultimate test of marriage is two people's persistence in each other.

Even the best love in the world can't resist the collapse of the crisis of trust, and even the best man can't stand the tossing of women. I hope that through this article, women can understand something. We shouldn't do such behavior in our marriage. We should also examine ourselves while testing others, so as to manage our marriage better.

Until now, after Xu Ya's divorce, she realized that what we should do after the crisis of trust in marriage is to communicate and exchange well, rather than blindly doubt without foundation.

The amount of communication between husband and wife in marriage also reflects the true degree of your marriage. You know, once you choose silent marriage instead of communication in your marriage, your feelings will cool down and you will not be far from each other.

02

Xu Ya is a child of a single-parent family. When she was very young, her father left with another woman, leaving her and her mother alone. Xu Ya herself knows that she is a controlling and loveless girl.

When you fell in love with Gao Feng, the mobile phone was not as developed as it is now. For example, all kinds of chat software have thousands of friends, so you can watch news chat anytime and anywhere. When they are in love, they usually don't talk much and rely entirely on text messages and phone calls. Moreover, most of the information between Xu Ya and Gao Feng is transparent. She wants to see Gaofeng's mobile phone, and it is easy to get it.

Before marriage, two people know each other's QQ password, and Xu Ya can do it almost at any time? Tracking? At the peak, this also made her not curious about the peak mobile phone at all. However, the situation is different now, and mobile phones are updated quickly. Since the password was added to the peak mobile phone, Xu Ya began to become very curious.

After they got married, QQ cancelled the connection. In the past, Xu Ya knew what the social circle around her was like and was not interested in the people around her. But now, on WeChat QQ, peak chat is hot on all kinds of chat software, but there is nothing to say with Xu Ya.

After he comes home from work every day, he seldom communicates with her except playing games or chatting and playing WeChat. No woman will think much.

After the two had children, Xu Yacai felt a little relieved. With the arrival of children, Gao Feng knows how to take care of his family better than before. However, after the confinement, Xu Ya was in a bad state, her figure was out of shape, and her skin was flabby. Gao Feng was not as enthusiastic about her as before. Xu Ya began to think again.

From now on, if the peak smells of other perfumes, having an unremarkable long hair may attract Xu Ya's level? Torture? Her aggressive attitude made Feng feel helpless and uneasy.

Once, Xu Ya watched the peak and chatted happily, so she asked him: What are you talking about? So happy. Tell me about it. ?

But Gao Feng immediately said: It's nothing. ?

He immediately put down the phone and continued: I'm just a colleague. ?

The more Gao Feng hides, the more curious Xu Ya is. When Gaofeng takes a bath, she especially wants to see Gaofeng's mobile phone. But after many attempts, Xu Ya became more suspicious of her after using her birthday and their wedding anniversary in Gao Feng.

In marriage, once there is a crisis of trust, no matter what the other party says or does, she will never believe it again. This is what Xu Ya looks like. Finally, after a peak social interaction, Xu Ya saw an ambiguous message sent to the peak by a colleague of the opposite sex. No matter how Gao Feng explained it, she didn't want to hear it and wanted to divorce him.

Originally Xu Ya just wanted to scare Gao Feng, but she didn't expect Gao Feng to tell her: Let's get a divorce. We can't persist for a long time. It's just that you suspect me every day. I have no secrets. Even if I have someone outside, you forced me. ?

Hearing this sentence, Xu Ya collapsed to the ground awkwardly. She doesn't want a divorce, but she doesn't believe in nonsense. However, when she was fooling around, she killed her relationship with Gao Feng. Are you afraid of being between two people? Shit? Entanglement in the world, the more entangled, will only get tired of each other.

One more thing, Xu Ya didn't catch the real hammer of the derailment at the peak. Letting the other person know your thoughts too early will put you in a very passive position. You said he cheated. Is there any evidence? Everything is still your doubt, but this doubt will put you at a very disadvantage.

Xu Ya suddenly divorced at the age of 35. However, she didn't get any benefits, which will make Gao Feng feel? This marriage should have been divorced long ago? .

In marriage, Xu Ya's constant suspicion and all kinds of nonsense are undoubtedly digging her own grave for her marriage.

03

Now, everyone has a mobile phone, and mobile phone companionship has become the normal state of most people's lives. It is normal for them to hide some secrets in their mobile phones. It is really unnecessary to peek at each other's mobile phones in marriage. It depends on how you look at what is hidden in your mobile phone.

Once in a movie "The Phone Rings", several couples lived a beautiful life under the surface of mutual respect. For example, the roles played by Qiao Shan and his wife seem to be very happy. However, there are secrets in their mobile phones. One person secretly watches the live video of the ball with his mobile phone, and the other person is playing a mobile game? No underwear? Games.

Can I see your mobile phone? ? Most people can't ask this question, so they can only read it secretly. Over time, this furtive relationship turned into suspicion.

In my opinion, the sense of security in two people's marriage is definitely not based on peeking at each other's mobile phones, nor is it to doubt whether they have an intersection with the opposite sex. Being suspicious all day, such a marriage may be difficult to come to the end.

Women should understand that they are so suspicious because they don't have enough trust and have so many worries and doubts, that is, they are afraid that another person will break the normal state of getting along with each other, thus leading to such a trust crisis.

The crisis of confidence represents the beginning of the breakdown of marriage, which is not desirable. It is better to be confident and give each other more time and trust than to annoy this suspicious man. If you trust that person enough, even if he has a little privacy and a little secret, you can accept it yourself. However, if you don't trust him, do you really care what secrets are in your mobile phone?

Marriage must be based on trust. Without mutual trust, marriage has no place. The crisis of trust is the last line of defense and boundary of marriage. Endless suspicion and doubt will only push your marriage to the abyss, and will only make you both hurt your brains because of distrust, and will not let you have a happy marriage and a beautiful love.

04

Men should also understand that women are sensitive and insecure, and men should learn to understand their control and censorship accordingly.

Although each of us wants to have our own independent space, and we don't want our lover to see all aspects of ourselves, marriage means that two people are honest with each other, and some things are shattered glass. What is marriage? Marriage is living with each other's shortcomings. For insecure women, as men, they should be more considerate.

Actually, is there something wrong with the mobile phone? Don't men know? If there is really no problem, I am not afraid of women checking. If there is a problem, it is my own problem.

There is a saying that even couples don't have to get to the bottom of it. They should leave more space for each other and some room for each other. Long-distance love is easier to last.

But I really hope that all couples can leave some room for each other and keep the most basic boundaries. Since two people choose to be together, they should give each other enough sense of security and trust, believe in the person they love and believe that they love the right person.

The lesson of a 35-year-old divorced woman: No matter how good a man is, he can't stand a woman's obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Xu Ya's story is very representative, because many women have done similar things in reality. Remember that once or twice is ok. If it is repeated and frequent, your relationship with your husband will soon end, and your marriage will easily come to an end.

Don't doubt whether a man will cheat, even if he does, don't startle him. Calm down, grasp the hammer and understand the truth, not a little trouble, and your heart will be confused. Be smart. If a man really wants to betray you, you can't stop him.