Who can recommend some interesting and creative gifts? I'd appreciate it.

1. I was wrong about yesterday. Although the braised eggplant you made is a little salty, it is mellow and delicious, and its flaws are not hidden. I shouldn't accuse you of wasting salt. I'm so demanding and accusing, I'm totally jealous. But adding some water is ok.

When you said you liked Lu Yi, I shouldn't have said I liked Liang Yongqi, which caused you to ignore me for two days, which was extremely painful. Think about it carefully, my answer is really inappropriate, because your playboy is still confined to the mainland, but I rushed to Hong Kong and Taiwan. I prefer Zhou Xun.

You like watching Little Ge Zheng in Korean dramas, so I shouldn't try my best to stop it. When you compare me with him, I shouldn't protest, because Ge Zheng Jr. didn't protest.

4. Saturday's wedding, I said I have a meeting, and I don't know if I can go. You have prepared two red envelopes, one is 100 and the other is 200. As a result, I didn't go, and you accidentally sent a thick one. Honey, I shouldn't laugh at you. You are doing very well. If I were you, I would send them both together.

Last time you bought yellow croaker, I shouldn't pretend to be a chef. As a result, you cheered when you helped to cook, drooled when you smelled it, and depressed when you ate it, which was unbearable for your fragile mind.

6. Do you cut your hair short and ask me if it looks good? I said it looked good and you were happy. Further verification, I said OK; If you say hello, my answer is not as good as before, which makes you sad. This is my fault. In the future, such replies will be subject to the first time.

7. You met many excellent friends online. At one time, Hongyan passed books and jade photos flew all over the sky. I shouldn't have attacked you with newspaper reports. But the picture of you in a white skirt really doesn't look good. You'd better wear the one with the high collar. I'm the bodyguard next to you, and I look awesome.

When you visit your nephew, come back and discuss with me who should wash diapers. I really shouldn't pass the buck and make you angry. But honey, this task is too far away. Let's discuss who will be responsible for fertility. Who was born in their family?

9. When you accused me of leaving my socks lying around, I shouldn't accuse you of leaving books lying around. After all, socks stink and are scholarly.

10. When you invited Cher to McDonald's, I shouldn't secretly kick her under the table to make you furious, but she stepped on so many shoes, why didn't you care?

The most poisonous jokes in the legend

1. A mother took a taxi to pick up her daughter from junior high school.

Mother and daughter passed by a certain section and only saw coquettish girls stuck in the street.

Start standing on the side of the road "doing business".

When adolescent daughter curious to ask:

Mom, what are those women doing standing on the side of the road? 」

In order not to affect her daughter's innocent mind, the mother replied:

"Those women are waiting for their husbands. 」

The talkative taxi driver chimed in and said, "That's funny. Everyone knows that those women are prostitutes. 」

Mother was angry and took a look at the driver.

The daughter then asked, "Mom, will that J girl have a baby?" 」

Mother said coldly, "of course, otherwise who will drive a taxi!" 」

2. One day, a lady went to buy meatballs.

Miss: Boss, I want two small ones to go!

Because business was good, after a while, the boss was afraid of making mistakes in his busy schedule, so he asked before cooking:

Miss? Are those two small?

The young lady blushed and replied bitterly, Boss, your two pills are small!

There is a woman who is pink. I'm sorry, even if she is ugly, she is even more inarticulate. ..

Once, I was arranged on a blind date. ..

But the hero didn't appear .. The woman was impatient. ..

I started swearing .. Wow, Li Le .. How dare you keep your mother waiting for so long ..&; % $ & amp^$%#@! $! % .. criticized a bunch of miles. ..

At this moment, the hero appeared. He is a fat man. ..

This woman was even more angry after seeing it ... so she scolded a bunch of people ... pointing at the hero and cursing ... the fat man ...% $ @ #&; ..

The hero finally got angry. ..

Strike the table. Say it loudly. ..

Call me fat ... constant ... at least I've lost weight ... Have you, you, you, you ... ever been beautiful? ...

One day, President Li accidentally fell into a ditch. Three children happened to pass by.

President Li said to them, "If you save me, I will give each of you a wish."

The first child said that he wanted a bike.

The second child said that he wanted a baseball glove.

The third child thought for a long time and said that he wanted a wheelchair.

President Li felt very strange in his heart. His hands and feet are fine. Why does he need a wheelchair?

He asked the third child, "Why do you want a wheelchair? 」

The third child said, "My father will break my leg if he knows that I saved you."

Three people went to the breakfast shop to buy breakfast.

The first man said to the boss, "Boss, I want an fried egg, but no yolk." 」

The boss fried an egg according to this.

The second man also said to the boss, "Boss, I want an fried egg, but no egg whites." 」

The boss did the same, but he began to get impatient.

When it was the third person's turn, the boss asked him rudely, "What about you? What don't you want for your eggs? 」

The third man said timidly, "I ... I don't want eggshells ..."

Buy underwear

One day, a gentleman went to buy underwear for his wife. Because he has never bought underwear for his wife, he doesn't know which size to buy!

After chatting with the clerk for a long time, the clerk had to describe the fruit!

Shop assistant: papaya? ! Sir: No! Don't!

Shop assistant: apples? ! Sir: No, no, no.

Shop assistant: Lotus mist? ! Sir: smaller!

Shop assistant: eggs? ! Mr. Wang said happily: Yes! Yes! Yes!

When the clerk understood and turned to get the underwear, the man suddenly shouted, Miss, wait a minute! It's fried

7. What a scolding

Xiao Du and Xiao Hao quarreled this day …

Komori said dismissively, "Hum! Your mother should have strangled you when she gave birth to you! 」

Not to be outdone, Xiao Hao said with extremely contemptuous eyes, "Really? I think your dad should just shoot at the wall! 」

Xiao Du: "? . ? 」

8. A 70-year-old mother and three old people who are also mothers are driving slowly on the provincial road. The traffic police stopped him and said, "Mom, if you drive so slowly, it will affect the traffic."

The driver's mother said, "Isn't that sign saying 20? 」

The traffic police said, "That's Highway 20! 」

The mother who was driving said, "Oh! Oh! What kind of highway is that? It's not a speed limit! 」

The traffic police said: "Yes, doubt ~? Why are the other three mothers behind you so ugly? 」

The mother who was driving replied, "We just drove here from Highway 245! 」

9. wet dream!

In the bookstore, Ah Zhu suddenly brightened up. She saw a book called Dreams on the Grassland.

Oh, my God! "wet dream" actually landed, which is amazing!

Hurriedly call jen, jen also excitedly opened it and took a closer look. They suddenly found that the directory read:

"Dream, stay on the grassland. 」

Arjun was disappointed and said unhappily, I will publish a book called "The Moon often hangs in the sky" in the future.

10. caterpillar

Two caterpillars are crawling on the grass. The male caterpillar said to the female caterpillar, shall we go back? How about going home?

Mother caterpillar said, ok!

When the pair of caterpillars returned to the mother's house, the male caterpillar found that the mother caterpillar was wearing a wedding ring.

The male caterpillar said, I don't do this with the married female caterpillar.

Mother caterpillar said, don't worry! My husband is not coming back,

The male caterpillar said, how can you be so sure!

Mother caterpillar said, "He got up early today and went fishing."

1 1. When a man passed a house, a used condom suddenly flew down from the second floor window and landed on his head.

The man felt sick and angry, so he went to the door of the house and knocked hard at the door.

An old man opened the door and asked him why he knocked so hard.

Someone asked, "Who lives on the second floor?"

The old man replied, "What does this have to do with you? My daughter and her fiance live on it. "

The man handed the condom to the old man and said, "Well, I just want to tell you that your grandson fell from the window!" " "

cheat in the examination

1。 In a political exam in senior high school, a boy in the last row spread his textbook on his leg and kept writing, but the invigilator was like a horse.

Quietly around the back, stroking his shoulder. The student was stunned and his face remained unchanged. Sorry, there is too much food on the table.

Too many, I can't put it down, so I have to leave it on my lap. Then he lowered his head and continued to write the disease book. The whole class fell down.

2。 In junior high school, the female classmate next door threw the book on the ground in a biology exam and copied it with her toes. I've always admired it.

Her eyesight and toe flexibility.

3。 The girl was writing on her leg, and the male invigilator saw it and told her to stand up, but she was afraid to turn her skirt up.

Come on, as a result, the girl got the first place in the exam.

5。 One of my classmates took an English exam in college. He bought a box of embroidery needles to engrave the contents of the exam in advance.

On the desk (our desk is the kind of shiny hard board), you can't look directly, but look sideways.

Only then did I see that he carved all afternoon, blunted n needles, and finally his hands were numb, and then he threw a book and occupied a seat on the table.

. I think that table will be seized by my brothers and sisters in the future.

6。 What I earn the most is that I didn't prepare anything, thinking I was going to die, and I also prepared a decoration fee! Come to the examination room

Sit in a daze! As a result, the invigilator asked everyone to change seats, so I took a look at the new seat! Wow ha ha ha

Ha! All the answers are copied on the table, and they are all copied! Looking around, I found a brother with fire in his eyes.

Stare at me! Ha ha ha ha, as a result, this course passed smoothly! !

8。 Some people sleep all the time during the exam, and then wake up just before the exam. He looked around and found that the students behind him had finished writing their papers, but not yet.

Take your name, write down your name and hand it in. ...

9。 My girlfriend mm used to be an English major, but I wasn't. Once when I was taking an examination of college English, I asked mm to supervise temporarily!

Recently, I saw that she almost fainted ~ ~ ~ My buddies stared at me. I was beaten up after the exam. (that's my e-text.

What a mess, mm patrol exam, staring at my test paper, almost fainted. Accompany mm to invigilate is a middle-aged man in his forties, I don't.

Yes, mm found an excuse to chat with him, blocking his view, so we copied it at random! Mm is still smiling at him, damn it,

Cheap that uncle! (mm is the flower of the Foreign Languages Department) But I still can't help it. Mm came to look at the test paper and gave me a hard look.

Eyes, quietly pointing to the answer sheet: pig head, all wrong choices! Five minutes later, I received a text message from mm,

All the answers! Happiness ing…… ............ As a result, all the boys in the class passed, because one person is blessed! Our PE teacher is full of praise for our class!

Since then, Lian mm has become the god of connection ~ ~ ~

10。 There was a metalworking practice (make-up exam), and we copied it at random in the exam. The invigilator checked the test paper for us when handing it in and pointed out that I was even.

Our mistakes were corrected on the spot. As a result, we got a minimum score of 85, but before the exam, everyone handed in 30 yuan to the invigilator.

(euphemistically called: make-up exam fee).

1 1。 Two classmates, they look alike! The physics exam lasts 65 minutes, and one person will hand in the paper. Then, the person who handed in the papers on wc continued to say.

Come in for the exam!

12。 In my sophomore year, I sat in the exam with people from the Department of Physical Education. Our classmates are very generous, as long as they don't affect us, just copy them.

Our test paper. A strongman copied one of our classmates' test papers from beginning to end. He was very excited after handing in the examination paper.

Mysteriously ask our classmates, why do you want to write a lot of words on that big topic first, then draw a big box, a big cross and then write a paragraph?

Is there a format rule? The students were dizzy, because our classmates found it wrong after answering for a long time, so they crossed it out again.

Write, his old man's house is meticulously copied down all. ...

14。 When I was a sophomore, I took an English test, which was divided into ab papers, all of which were multiple-choice questions. A brother finally got the answer at the last 10 minute.

Suddenly I found that the answer was Volume A, and my own paper was Volume B. It was too late to get the answer. Bow your head and think 1.

Minutes, start copying. After copying, tear off the "B" in the corner of the answer sheet and hand in an "A". mark

Come out, 60 points ... the whole class threw themselves at him.