Skills to save a man's heart

After breaking up, there is a topic that seems to be unavoidable forever, called secondary attraction. Because no matter what kind of breakup, it is the most important thing for two people to get together again and attract each other. It is called "the second time" because the points that attracted him before are not enough to support you to continue on the next road, so you need new attraction.

But in practice, you may find it difficult, especially for girls to get back their boyfriends. Why? Here are two reasons for reference.

1. Men are animals that look at their faces. At first, he was attracted to you, and the face value factor accounted for most of it, followed by personality and hobbies. Later, in the process of getting along, he found that other aspects were out of place. Girls were too hardworking, and he was too stressed and tired. These can all be reasons to break up.

In this case, unless you have plastic surgery and thoroughly remould yourself, the effect of secondary attraction only through external appearance changes is very limited. If a girl who didn't wear makeup originally learned to dress up after breaking up, but still can surprise her ex-boyfriend, then a girl who is used to makeup often won't have much effect.

2. Men are rational animals. Break up because you have problems that he can't accept. At this time, although you can improve your attractiveness in other ways, he will have concerns about problems that he thought could not be solved before, as long as there is still one day. Compared with going back and accepting again, facing the same problem, it is cheaper and faster for him to change girlfriends.

So in the face of this situation, it is not enough to attract them twice. You need to mend their previous misunderstandings, quarrels and irrational behaviors, find solutions to contradictions that he thinks are impossible to solve, and try to show them to him. Men are lazy. He doesn't love you after breaking up, so he won't look for any possibility between you. So you need to provide the solution directly and don't let him think.

For example, in the past, if you often broke up easily and hoped to attract his attention, you would often "act", regardless of his feelings, express your dissatisfaction and vent your emotions regardless of time and place. Finally, one day, he silently agreed to break up and stopped coaxing you. You regret it and want to make it right. What are you going to do at this time?

Secondary attraction? Yes, any relationship needs to be attractive, but when it is really implemented, you will feel powerless because you don't know how to change and improve it to attract his attention. More importantly, he broke up because you were too hard. Then, unless you originally looked like Feng and later became Fan Bingbing, how can you use your limited face value to attract him back to his previous days and repeat a new round of tolerance?

So, before the second attraction, all you have to do is hit the pain point and let him know that you know what your problem is, because you were unreasonable before, but now it's different. I have changed it, so I don't have to worry about the same problem in the future.

It should be noted that don't tell him: I know I was wrong before, I was wrong, I will change, I will listen to you, as long as you come back ... because in his view, these words are just what you said to save him, not from the heart, and will not really change.

In other words, you just need to let him know that you have changed. The problem that caused you to break up before no longer exists, and there is no need for any pleading, compulsion or purpose behind it.

Because if redemption is your wish, then leaving at this moment is his idea. Your wish can be said that you have to respect his idea. Otherwise, even if he is forced back, his heart is gone, and it is only a matter of time before he leaves.

On the contrary, you can thank him for leaving, which will sober you up, make you more mature and know how to love others, so that he will feel that you have really changed, and may not look back immediately, but at least you can save a little impression.

The purpose of this is only to repair the emotional rift that caused you to break up before. Next, you need to seamlessly connect with the second attraction and other methods in other ways to start the next real road to saving love.