The girl's cell phone rang at the front desk of her early self-study, and the sound of reading suddenly erupted all around. Damn, this is called unity!

1. A kind word can warm you three times in the winter, but a bad word can hurt you six times. ——Proverb

2. I want to have a tooth in my next life. When I am unhappy, someone will hurt me.

3. If you leave when I am down, don’t come back when I am brilliant.

4. The girl’s cell phone rang at the front desk of early self-study, and the sound of reading suddenly boomed around her. Damn, this is called unity! !

5. [Do you like someone and haven’t given up yet? ]

6. After he died, he saw God. God said: "You can't go to heaven because you have stolen, even though it was to cure your wife." He said: "I am willing to go to hell. I want to know if my wife is okay in heaven?" "She is in hell too," God replied. "Why? She is a good person!" he was angry. God said: "She asked me where you will go after death. She wants to be with you. She said that the place with you is her paradise."

7. I can't forget your smiling face. It is even more impossible to get rid of the entanglement of memory.

8. I know nothing is easy

9. The smile of the boy I love can warm my whole world

10. I refuse second-hand goods love for me.

11. There are two reasons for not being able to listen in class. , there is a mobile phone in hand. , there is a tease next to you.

12. Lao, my red line is broken, can you connect it for me?

13. I only regret one thing. I regret not meeting you earlier, which caused you to suffer a lot, and I myself took many wrongdoings.

14. In fact, everyone feels that they have been hurt by others, so who hurt whom?

15. If you don’t want to love anymore, just leave, give you your freedom, and leave the pride to myself. .

16. I am not a customer service staff. You have no right to ask me to answer this or that.

17. The stage will shine but will collapse after a long performance.

18. The body without soul is dead, and faith without actions is also dead.

19. I want to go back to the past. For nothing else. I just want to see you one more time.

20. There is no one who cannot live without the other, only one who does not cherish the other. Mobile text messages promoting national unity

Mobile text messages promoting national unity

1. When I race, Liu Xiang smiles; when I shoot, Yao Ming curls his thumb; platform, vault, floor exercise, football volleyball I want to do water diving, swimming, fencing and shooting, weightlifting, walking and judo. I want to be an all-rounder, and I will be ranked the highest in the world.

2. Chinese martial arts are unparalleled and must be ranked number one in the world. There are endless martial arts masters emerging in an endless stream, and their masters are famous all over the world. The Tai Chi sect includes Zhang Sanfeng, martial arts master Huang Feihong, and in modern times, Huo Yuanjia, who is as famous as thunder, has a far-reaching cultural heritage, and the martial arts career will never end!

3. China has a history of thousands of years. Its four great inventions are famous for nine days, and the thoughts of saints are passed down, which can only be carried forward by the world. Nowadays, science and technology are constantly developing, and high-end technologies are competing for brilliance. As long as we advance harmoniously, we will surely make the world look at us with admiration.

4. Hunan likes to eat spicy food, Shanghai likes to drink soup; Guangdong calls for showers, and Henan goes to bathhouses; the snowflakes in the northeast are white, and Hainan likes to swat mosquitoes; the northwest is desert, and the southeast is full of waves; Yunnan is good at planting flowers, Xinjiang is good for growing melons; China is a vast land, and it’s fun to visit.

5. Peking Opera, the quintessence of Chinese culture, is well-known. It has many different aspects, including cadences and ups and downs of voice and appearance, and the vicissitudes of life on the small stage. Chinese opera is a unique creation, with more diverse repertoire from all over the country. Life is like a character in the play. You sing and I come on stage.

6. Yunnan is a good place, with beautiful mountains and clear waters and blue sky, which breeds a spiritual spirit among its people. 26 ethnic groups live together, and they are hard-working, simple and love to sing. I like the Miao costumes the most, and the artistic shapes show wisdom; I love the Dai Water Splashing Festival the most, the water-splashing carnival is full of happiness.

7. It has a long and famous history. Antique calligraphy and painting are still in use today. Kangxi’s colorful Yuan blue and white flowers are priceless and praised by generations. White stones are as big as Tang Bohu’s. Calligraphy and painting are spread far and wide. Being in a country with ancient culture, I feel proud and inspired. !

8. West Lake Longjing and Tieguanyin, the fragrance of Chinese tea is pure; Erhong and Laobaigan, Chinese wine is pure. Chinese culture spans five thousand years, and its traditional virtues have been passed down for thousands of miles.

9. The motivation is strong but not vigorous, and the work is everywhere. To be strong and forceful is not to be stubborn, and do not think of growth as growth. Arresting is not catching mice, and earth shells are not egg shells. Astonished and speechless, Chinese culture will never have borders.

10. Write a short message to recite the country’s borders. Reciting about the borders of our country, the words are immeasurable. China has been here for thousands of years, and its land is vast. Fifty-six nationalities are here, standing on top. The Book of Songs, lyrics and music are endlessly hidden. The square Chinese character Xi has a long history. The sons and daughters of China should recite this song. Forward this message to stay healthy!

11. The style of Tang poetry is bright and eye-catching, the tut-tut has a sound, and it has flowed through the ages. The mood of Song poetry is elegant and fragrant. It can be sung a cappella and goes far and wide. Yuan music is melodious, light and comfortable, and you can follow the song. Flying in all directions. Chinese literary talent, classics will be stored forever.

12. In the desolate battlefield of Mobei, the legend of heroic sons and daughters has been passed down for a long time. In the small rivers and alleys in the south of the Yangtze River, there are wonderful articles by talented men and beautiful women. A horse's hoof travels thousands of miles, a boat neighs, the rivers, lakes and seas of China have a long history.

13. On January 1st, the Spring Festival firecrackers go off; on March 3rd, mugwort rice is served; on May 5th, Dragon Boat Festival rice dumplings are cooked; on July 7th, the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl gather on the Magpie Bridge; on September 9th, they climb high to see off to the Double Ninth Festival. , national festivals are wonderful in every way, and the Chinese people are proud.

14. Drug name: Zhongyong. Recipe: A 1:1 blend of Taoist cynicism and Confucian positive concepts. Efficacy: Help people cultivate to the state of "hidden in the city". Preferred crowd: yellow race people.

15. The blue sea is Beibei’s home, the vast forest is Jingjing’s home, the blazing sacred fire is the home of joy, the green grassland is Yingying’s home, and the vast sky is Nini’s home. The five Fuwa dolls shouted in unison: China - our common home!

16. The motherland’s festivals are famous at home and abroad. Let’s think about it together. The Dragon Boat Festival with fragrant rice dumplings, the Mooncake Festival in August and the 15th month, and the Spring Festival on the 30th day of the twelfth lunar month. Put up Spring Festival couplets to set off firecrackers, and wear new clothes to dance. , eat dumplings on the 30th night, pay New Year greetings on the first day of the Lunar New Year, and hold lanterns on the 15th day of the first lunar month.

17. To carry forward the traditional national culture, greeting cards have been used for a long time. In ancient times, doctors used stickers to ask questions. Today, Chinese people use greeting cards to send messages, communicate in official affairs, and children in the family are filial. Although there are phone messages, greeting cards are still Hard to replace.

18. Yunnan is a good place, with beautiful mountains and clear waters and blue sky, which breeds a spiritual spirit among its people. 26 ethnic groups live together, and they are hard-working, simple and love to sing. I like the Miao costumes the most, and the artistic shapes show wisdom; I love the Dai Water Splashing Festival the most, the water-splashing carnival is full of happiness.

19. Beijing 2008, highlighting the sports culture of the motherland: Beibei swims - fast, Jingjing lifts - good results; Huanhuan archery - takes first place, Yingying long-distance running - takes less time ; Nini's gymnastics - beautiful posture, everyone clapped - cheered. Everyone is a little champion, and they love to see the five-star red flag flying.

20. It has a long and famous history. Antique calligraphy and painting are still in use today. Kangxi’s colorful Yuan blue and white flowers are priceless and praised by generations. White stones are as big as Tang Bohu’s. Calligraphy and painting are spread far and wide. Being in a country with ancient culture, I feel proud and inspired. !

21. The quintessence of Chinese culture is Peking Opera, which began during the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty. It is a fusion of Hui, Han, Kun and Qin tunes and has been passed down for two hundred years. It is divided into Shengdan, Jingmo Chou, facial makeup distinguishes good and evil, and it is strict and sophisticated. , Chinese culture is hidden in it!

22. The fifty-six big families have their own names for their clothing. They have phoenix crowns, brocade clothes, embroidered boots, and gold and silver jewelry. They are so colorful and beautiful. Foreign friends love to collect them, so put one or two in the house. , the Chinese flavor is rich and strong, the clothing culture is profound, and the national culture is popular in the world!

23. The country’s reputation for etiquette is widely spread, and traditional festivals follow one another, such as the New Year’s Eve celebrations on the 30th lunar month, the Lantern Festival on the 15th moon, the rain and smoke during the Qingming Festival, the sweet-tasting Dragon Boat Festival rice dumplings, and the moon cakes on the 15th lunar month. Circle, a time-honored and beautiful festival passed down from generation to generation!

24. The blue sea is Beibei’s home, the vast forest is Jingjing’s home, the blazing sacred fire is the home of joy, the green grassland is Yingying’s home, and the vast sky is Nini’s home. The five Fuwa dolls shouted in unison: China - our common home!

25. Chinese calligraphy is unique. The cursive and regular scripts are full of flowers, with connotations stacked up and down together. The Chinese culture has a long history. The four ancient countries have the same style. They are loyal, filial, and friendly to others. Harmony spreads all over the world.

26. In the five thousand years of Great China, the four great inventions have spread throughout the world, Confucianism has been passed down from ancient times to the present, and the Chinese people have united and worked hard together to build a good reputation for China.

27. Chinese animation needs to learn more, resist all kinds of civilized garbage, develop our country’s animation industry, and reduce people’s reckless following. It is useless to be too closed-minded. Culture cannot be weak and cannot help the wind. People from all walks of life deeply hope that animation culture will develop rapidly. .

28. Chinese martial arts are unparalleled and must be ranked number one in the world. There are endless martial arts masters emerging in an endless stream, and their masters are famous all over the world. The Tai Chi sect includes Zhang Sanfeng, martial arts master Huang Feihong, and in modern times, Huo Yuanjia, who is as famous as thunder, has a far-reaching cultural heritage, and the martial arts career will never end!

29. China has a lot of cultural heritage. Let me talk about our treasures. The Great Wall is really good. It blocks foreign invasion for all ages and inherits the love of Chinese sons and daughters. Chinese and foreign tourists welcome Chinese and foreign tourists and praise the working people as the greatest.

30. Taoism is pure through inaction, Mohism is about love without attacking, Legalism rules the world by law, Confucianism is ethical and ethical, Han Fei is a military strategist on Taoism, the Warring States period was turbulent, hundreds of schools of thought contended, ideas flourished, and the love between heroes and sons and daughters was passed down to a generation.

31. The Chinese characters are unique in the world. Calligraphy is formed by imitating objects and images: the hoofs of elephants are like the official meaning, the head of a lion has flying white, the fighting snake becomes a strange grass, the swimming dragon makes Qin seal script, the feet of an ox are like eight points, and the deer is like a deer. Such as small regular script.

32. Shenzhou No. 8 is so great, so heroic and dashing. Dare to walk around in space, young Japanese and old Americans are fooled. We hope that our motherland will prosper and its technological aviation will spread across the sky. One day the dragon will get water, and the happy people will come to China.

33. Motivation is strong but not strong, and things are messed up everywhere. To be strong and forceful is not to be stubborn, and do not think of growth as growth. Arresting is not catching mice, and earth shells are not egg shells. Astonished and speechless, Chinese culture will never have borders.

34. The tea culture of Lu Yu, the sage of tea, is spread all over the world through the "Tea Book". A cup of tea has a long-lasting taste, and the gestures show grace. Drinking tea quietly can produce fluids. Sit quietly and taste the tea ceremony, and understand the pain and joy of life. !

35. Beijing 2008, highlighting the sports culture of the motherland: Beibei swims - fast, Jingjing lifts - good results; Huanhuan archery - takes first place, Yingying long-distance running - takes less time ; Nini's gymnastics - beautiful posture, everyone clapped - cheered. Everyone is a little champion, and they love to see the five-star red flag flying.

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37. Chinese culture is like a long river. There are many guides in the four classic books. The four great masterpieces have been passed down from generation to generation and the four great love stories. The four great gentlemen belong to the Warring States Period, the four great talents belong to the Ming Dynasty, the four great opera masters belong to the Yuan Dynasty, and the four great heroes belong to the early Tang Dynasty.

38. Chinese calligraphy is unique. The cursive and regular scripts are full of flowers, with connotations stacked up and down together.

The Chinese culture has a long history. The four ancient countries have the same style. They are loyal, filial, and friendly to others. Harmony spreads all over the world.

39. In the past, Xi’s ink dance evoked pride without being arrogant; the shrimps painted on white stone were agile but not arrogant; looking at the present, Han Han made a chapter that spoke of the world’s conditions without being domineering. Xiaosi compiled a poem, Away from the mundane world.

40. In the two thousand years of feudal civilization, Confucian culture dominated. The Confucian classics include six classics, including the Book of Songs, Shangshu and Rites, the Book of Music, the Book of Changes and the Spring and Autumn Annals. Respect Confucius and Mencius, the thought of benevolence spreads widely, and Chinese civilization continues to flow!

41. Write a short message to recite the country’s borders. Reciting about the borders of our country, the words are immeasurable. China has been here for thousands of years, and its land is vast. Fifty-six nationalities are here, standing on top. The Book of Songs, lyrics and music are endlessly hidden. The square Chinese character Xi has a long history. The sons and daughters of China should recite this song. Forward this message to stay healthy!

42. There is a Liu Sanjie from the Zhuang ethnic group. She is smart and smart and loved by everyone. Her songs are like a fountain. She is a singer. She is not afraid of power and not greedy for money. She dares to be the first to pursue true love. To commemorate the third sister on March 3, the song is like the flowing water of the Liujiang River, lasting forever!

43. The first day of the first lunar month is the New Year, known as the first festival in China. All things are revived and the vegetation is growing, singing and dancing are performed to welcome the Spring Festival. Every household prepares New Year’s goods, red lanterns are hung high, firecrackers go off to bid farewell to the old and welcome the new, and family members are reunited happily. !

44. The country’s reputation for etiquette is widely spread, and traditional festivals follow one another, such as the New Year’s Eve celebrations on the 30th lunar month, the Lantern Festival on the 15th moon, the rain and smoke during the Qingming Festival, the sweet-tasting Dragon Boat Festival rice dumplings, and moon cakes on the 15th lunar month. Circle, a time-honored and beautiful festival passed down from generation to generation!

45. Tai Chi is reflected in Wudang Mountain, Shaolin magical skills are practiced in a young room, Emei is strong and soft, and comes to the holy land of Foshan in the south. Kung Fu is famous far and wide. I miss the Huo family's Buddhist boxing and admire the Fang family's palm. The Chinese symbol of Kung Fu, recalling Baiwei Dantian.

46. Motivation is strong but not strong, and things are messed up everywhere. To be strong and forceful is not to be stubborn, and do not think of growth as growth. Arresting is not catching mice, and earth shells are not egg shells. Astonished and speechless, Chinese culture will never have borders.

47. The Chinese civilization is vast and profound, with a long history. The culture of the Central Plains is moderate and harmonious, brilliant and magnificent. The culture of Jingchu is low-key and brilliant. The culture of Bashu is full of treasures and lasts for a long time!

48. Our country celebrates the Spring Festival at the end of the year, congratulating each other on the new year, and the whole family sits around eating dumplings and enjoying their new life. Since ancient times, China has many traditions and its folk customs are harmonious. I want to wish you good luck and wish you a happy life.

49. There is a Liu Sanjie from the Zhuang ethnic group. She is smart and smart and loved by everyone. Her songs are like a fountain. She is a singer. She is not afraid of power and not greedy for money. She dares to be the first to pursue true love. To commemorate the third sister on March 3, the song is like the flowing water of the Liujiang River, lasting forever!

50. Taoism is pure in inaction, Mohism is non-attack and love, Legalism rules the world by law, Confucianism is ethical and moral, Han Fei is a military strategist on Taoism, the Warring States period is turbulent, hundreds of schools of thought contend, ideas flourish, and the love between heroes and sons and daughters is passed down to a generation. Douyin's most popular and popular collection of personality quotes. Girls who love taking photos will have a good mobile phone.

1. Girls who love taking photos will have a good mobile phone.

2. I like you just like I like the sea. I can’t jump into the sea, but I can go to Shanghai.

3. The world itself is unfair, even the globe is always tilted!

4. Some people said they hate me, and I immediately laughed. I seem to like you very much.

5. As handsome as you are, you are still on my blacklist.

6. Walk your own path, take your own steps, and pay less attention to those rubbish who gossip behind your back.

7. What’s the point of falling in love? It’s a loss to give up a group of men for one man!

8. I am young and need your guidance. I will accept it humbly and correct it. But you never need to point your finger.

9. Some people are near when they are noisy, and some people are far away when they are smiling.

10. A person’s happiness is not because he has more, but because he cares less.

11. Don’t buy useless things no matter how cheap they are; don’t rely on people you don’t love no matter how lonely they are. Only if you can endure loneliness can you maintain prosperity.

12. Brevity is the soul of wisdom, verbosity is superficial decoration.

13. Because I always feel that good things may not belong to me. If I take them, there will naturally be a price.

14. In fact, I really want to care about you, but you just don’t get sick.

15. If you can’t give me everything, then don’t give me everything.

16. After I have money, I must dress up as a beggar and hire a group of people to throw money to me.

17. If you are someone who will leave once you come, then I would rather miss you.

18. If you can't tolerate me, it means either you are too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.

19. You are a potato, and I like to eat it no matter what flavor you make.

20. You and I are true friends. Even though you have been mentally retarded for so many years, I will never leave you.

21. All rules and regulations about love are just decorations. As long as you can make me feel something, I will have no problem pursuing you.

22. I am always worried about who I will lose. Sometimes I wonder, is there someone who would be worried about losing me?

23. It doesn’t matter if you like surfing, as long as you don’t drown.

24. It’s okay to call me rubbish, but only if you are better than me, otherwise you will not even be as good as rubbish.

25. My true identity is very secretive, but the dark circles under my eyes lately seem to expose me as a national treasure.

26. If you rely on other people’s words to understand a person, has your brain grown in vain?

27. In life, your dreams have shrunk and your hopes have become thinner.

28. Days, months, years, talking about it is a lifetime.

29. Never doubt yourself. If you even doubt yourself, who can you trust?

30. Every time I touch your memory, it hurts!

31. I never please everyone, that’s why I am so charming.

32. Go to bed quickly, you are still playing with your mobile phone, it is not good for your mobile phone. Damn, you made me laugh so hard

Introduction: One day, I came home from outside. Because I was so tired, I lay on the bed and fell asleep without taking off my shoes. After waking up, my mother said to me: "You must take off your shoes when sleeping in the future. Did you know that only dead people sleep with shoes on?" I thought at that time: "If you say that, wouldn't it mean that most of the people in our class are Dead people, they fell asleep in class and exploded as soon as get out of class was over.

1. One day, my younger brother who was in elementary school asked me: "Brother, brother, a box of milk is 90 yuan, and a box of milk is 60 yuan!" Bottle, how much does a bottle cost? "I was watching TV at the time and had no time to pay attention to him, so I said to him: "Oh, you can just ask the waiter!" The younger brother said, "Yes, that's what I told the teacher at the time!" ”

2. A: I want to confess to a girl, how can I tell if she is embarrassed or rejects me? B: This mainly depends on her face! A: Do you mean to see the change in her face? ? B: No, I mean look at your face!

3. One day, my colleague said to me: "My sister-in-law lives at my house and kisses me all day long and hugs me to sleep on my bed. He changed his clothes in front of me and didn't avoid me at all! "So I decided to go to his house for dinner at night to see if what he said was true or not, and whether he was lying to me! When I saw his sister-in-law, I turned back to my colleague and said, "You didn't lie to me. My sister-in-law must be five years old! ”

4. When I was in junior high school, I learned how to surf the Internet. The Internet cafe was full, so I thought that I would make a fortune by opening an Internet cafe when I grew up. In high school, my classmates often gathered together and liked to sing karaoke, so I thought about opening an Internet cafe when I grew up. A KTV will definitely make money! When I was in college, I had a girlfriend and often went out to rent a hotel, so I thought it would be good to open a hotel after graduation.

5. I don’t have any good qualities except that I can comfort people. Many unhappy friends will come to me to talk to me. Well, a female friend came to me gloomily and said: Xiaomu, I’ve been looking for three people, but I still can’t find him. Boyfriend, are you going to be alone for the rest of your life? I looked at her and quickly comforted her: Don't be discouraged. Although you are ugly, you still have a good heart and you will definitely meet the right one.

It feels so good to help a friend. I won’t say it anymore, but the slap marks on my face still hurt...

6. Lan Yan told me that his family couldn’t afford 3,000 yuan when he was studying in college. Tuition, and then his mother took the only 1,000 at home to gamble, and then gave him 4,000 the next morning.

7. A friend called me and said that his father-in-law was having a birthday and wanted to buy him a birthday gift. He asked me what he should buy. I asked him how much he wanted to spend on it. He replied that it would only cost a hundred and eighty yuan to buy it. I said, you can just buy two wreaths. One is 50 yuan, and two wreaths are exactly 100 yuan. Prices are so high now, what can you buy with 100 yuan?

8. There used to be a classmate who was very short and was often laughed at by us. It wasn’t until he got married that we discovered that his wife was actually the school beauty back then! Afterwards we asked him how he caught her, and he said that one day he accidentally bumped into the school beauty in the corridor and stabbed her chest with his face... Damn, being short has its advantages!

9. "I want to have a self-service barbecue with my friends on the roadside. How can I avoid being kicked out by the urban management?" "Prepare a stack of ghost coins. When the urban management comes, kneel down and burn the paper."

10. When I arrived at the work unit at 7 o'clock in the morning, I saw my colleague's son in the carport. I asked: "Little E, is your mother here?" He said: "She has been here a long time ago." I said: "Really?" ?" The child pointed to a car: "If you don't believe it, look at my mother there. "

11. I asked my girlfriend on WeChat to check out a room. After meeting, I was dumbfounded ------- I finally understood. In fact, it was just an avatar. . .

12. I was drunk last night. Two boys and one girl slept together. When I was asleep, I was woken up. I found that the bed was shaking violently, and I heard a snapping sound. , what to do! So scared! After all, I am a woman!

13. At a friend’s gathering, Girl A brought her boyfriend to attend. The friend introduced her boyfriend to be engaged in the industry of adjusting indoor light equipment. None of my friends knew what I was doing, and they were too embarrassed to ask. They all thought it was a high-level profession. It was only a long time later that I found out that he was a curtain seller.

14. My right eyelid kept twitching, which meant I was going to lose money. I quickly bought a 10-yuan lottery ticket myself, and my eye stopped twitching as expected. Two days later, my eyelids started to twitch again. I bought another one that cost 10 yuan and it was fine again. Today it started to twitch again. I won’t buy it again. I’m used to getting into trouble. I love it.

15. When I saw online news today, Nepal was acting like a spoiled child, and I was puzzled. Then I looked at it again, no, Nepal was acting like a spoiled child. This made me even more puzzled, what was going on with the acting like a spoiled child? Zhong looked aside and said, "I'm going to evacuate overseas Chinese from Nepal. Oh my brain, it's obviously not enough!"

16. The bus braked suddenly and accidentally touched the breast of a girl in front. The girl yelled: "You stinking gangster!" All the looks on the bus... My IQ was shocked, and I replied: "That's enough. , I said I would be responsible for what happened last night." Then the crowd turned their attention to the girl. Just when I was admiring my wit, his boyfriend showed up... I won't say it anymore, I was registering at the hospital...

17. At night, my husband hugged me and said softly: "Baby, if I have five I will divorce you for a million dollars and marry you in style!" My eyes became wet after hearing this. Isn't this the happiness I want? , I was moved and nestled in his arms and said: "Husband, you are so kind. I will definitely be a girl in my next life and give you a lot of babies!"

18. Watch today Went to a beggar on a sliding wooden board with a stereo playing. He was climbing up and asking for money. He looked very pitiful. There was a car behind him and the people inside were very rough. They were shouting at him to get out of the way or they would hit him. When everyone was blaming the driver, the beggar stood up and walked away with the board. . .

19. Last night, my deskmate was playing with his mobile phone during self-study. When he was inspected by the student union, he saw that his name was taken down. After the student union member left, his deskmate pointed fiercely at the back of the girl who took his name. , cursed angrily: I curse you to roll down the stairs and send you to the hospital for a diabetic injection! This morning... we were all shocked. The girl who was cursed by my deskmate actually rolled down the stairs and was sent to the hospital for a drip. It seems that I have to be more careful when dealing with him. He might curse me one day.

20. Yesterday, I was chatting with a neighbor’s uncle in the community. The uncle asked me how old I was this year. I said that I am an uncle now that I am running for fourth grade. A junior high school girl next to me said: Only those who are rich and handsome are called Uncle, you can only call middle-aged men. Don't stop me, let me cry for a while.

21. One day I went to the market and bought a pound of clams. When I got home and soaked it in water, I thought of the story of the snail girl. I took a photo with great interest and said, "Please give me a clam girl." Cool it down! After a while, God replied, saying that I have known you for so long and never realized that you actually like animals. I...

22. The people living in the dormitory next door are from the music school. Every day in their dormitory One guy went to the toilet to practice his voice (very loud), and people passing by could hear it. One time when I was going upstairs after buying food, I heard a guy say: This guy masturbates like this every day. The shouting is a bit too cool! I suddenly burst out laughing. Dear friends, others are practicing their voices, but their skills are not good enough.

23. When I was a child in my hometown, there were a lot of snakes in my hometown. There was an uncle in our village who was very good at catching snakes. When we saw him, we all walked around. Once, many of my relatives slaughtered several chickens and... I bought a big snake and stewed a pot of meat with my uncle. At first, we children only ate chicken and didn’t dare to eat snake meat. My aunt even coaxed us to eat it. When we were about to say that it was really delicious. , my aunt said: The snake meat will grow into small snakes, swimming around in your stomach... swimming around...

24. Yesterday, a woman came to lz store When buying a razor, Liz enthusiastically asked if I should buy it for my boyfriend or my dad! The woman said it can be used! I thought about it, and just as I was taking out one to introduce to her, my phone rang, and I asked her to take a look first. By the time I answered the call, the woman had already shaved her armpits and walked away... leaving me in front of the counter. Messy, I want to say, don’t leave, I’ll give it to you...

25. I had a fight with my girlfriend. In a rage, she packed up her clothes and slammed the door away... I quickly opened the door. , I was about to chase her away when I saw her running towards me, followed by a puppy... She finally ran over, and then hugged me tightly, trembling with fear... It seemed that the neighbor It is very beneficial to have a puppy at home...

26. When I was in the third grade of elementary school, my brother brought back two bottles of foreign wine from work in other places, but my father was always reluctant to drink it. Three friends and I secretly dried it and mixed it with soy sauce and water to make it the same as before! Not long after, my father took it out to entertain my uncles. When they drank the first cup, my uncle said: Why does it smell like soy sauce! Dad lowered his head and said nothing. That night...that was the first time I was beaten!

27. Me: Brother, I’m going to Guangdong. Do I want to bring you some souvenirs? Brother: No need, it’s a long way. Me: It’s okay. What do you want? Buddy: Then... bring me a Honda or Toyota... Me: Damn it...

28. I like to be more serious. Take yesterday for example, I went to the mall to buy an air conditioner. It said that the minimum power consumption is 8 hours per kilowatt hour. I picked up my phone and took a photo. The waiter brought me one. My wife went back and checked the electricity meter. Let's turn on the air conditioner for eight hours to see if it consumes only one kilowatt hour of electricity, right? Now how much will you pay for the fake one? Waiter, don't leave. Where's my air conditioner? Don't go!

29. Mom, I am 15 years old, can I wear a bra? " "Can't. "Then can I use the towel?" " "Can't! Absolutely not! "Why, mother?" "Son, stop making trouble." "

30. When I was in college, I was walking with a girl in the evening. As we walked, the girl asked me: "I heard that a man's arm span is exactly equal to a woman's waist. Do you believe it? "'Haha, this is a test of my IQ. I immediately said how could it be possible? Yao Ming's wingspan is more than 2.3 meters... Then there was nothing more. Now that I think about it, I do have a problem with my damn IQ!

Postscript: One day, my friend came home after drinking too much. He felt an urgent need to urinate while sleeping, so he got up and opened the door to go to the bathroom. His wife yelled, "Why are you going?" The friend suddenly woke up and found that he was already at the door. Besides, I knew that I regarded the door into the house as the bathroom door, so I told my wife as an excuse that I came out for a walk, and my wife was furious. Why did you go out for a walk in the middle of the night, shirtless and wearing shorts?