Flirting with boys

1. I'll tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He was so stupid that when people asked him questions, he would only answer "No". Have you heard this story?

2. You are more capable of reflecting people's shortcomings than a mirror, more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi, and more knowledgeable than a grandson, so people affectionately call you the grandson of Jingzhuang.

3. I couldn't outrun that BMW after all, so I just watched it go away in the sunset. It wasn't my engine that was bad, but my chain fell off.

4. A spring river and a Jiang Tao, one mountain is higher than the other. Send a message to the straw bag, and the straw bag must take out his mobile phone, take out his mobile phone and look down, and find himself an idiot.

5. When you read this short message, I was thinking about you quietly in a corner of the world, wondering what you were doing and whether you were thinking about me.

6. Are you lonely? You can find a puppy to chat; Are you bored? You can jump down from upstairs and take a ride. I hope you can get the ultimate happiness and happiness.

7. Everyone wants to chase beautiful women, but not all beautiful women can chase them. Otherwise, you won't be demoted to the wrong place for chasing beautiful women, will you, Bajie?

8. Tips for life: According to the research of the odorist, when others fart, you don't have to cover your nose, just take three deep breaths, and you won't know it stinks after five minutes.

9. There are two sentences that I've always wanted to say to you, and I finally got the courage today: the first sentence, I love you and I like you very much; The second sentence, never take the first sentence seriously.

1. Urgent order: If you want money but no money, you need talent but no talent, and you need to be ugly. You have been listed as a person with three noes. You must leave the city within 24 hours after receiving the order, or you will be severely punished!

11. Family harmony, Kangxi life, Yongzheng personality, prosperous career, everything celebrated, bright future, wealth, internal and external governance, a thousand years of Guangxu, and universal publicity!

12. Once upon a time, there were four monkeys. The first one covered his eyes and couldn't see. The second one only covered his mouth and stopped talking. The third one blocked his ears and stopped listening. The fourth one held the mobile phone and smiled!

13. Sometimes persistence is also a burden and a kind of pain. It's easy to give up, so I'm not going to chase you anymore. I'll just hide in the mosquito net, so you won't bite me!

14. Urgent notice: Polygamy will be resumed from now on, and a man who remains monogamous after two weeks will be sentenced to fixed-term imprisonment of more than half a year and less than three years, and a huge fine will be imposed.

15. The breeze and the bright moon are together, and I want to hold your hand. Take a walk by the West Lake, roar from the Yellow Crane Tower, look inside and outside the Great Wall, and twist on the Avenue of Stars. To my favorite dog!

16, worry! Trapped by another difficult problem. I'm so worried that I don't want to eat or drink these days. I said, just give me a hand. Look at what this means: "pigs are good at studying."

17. The sky is blue and the sea is salty. Miss your heart is not fake! The ground is wide and the trees are long. Loving you is more than just cold coming and summer coming! But why did you leave me? Wangcai!

18. Falling raindrops are tears of missing, and falling snowflakes are frozen tears. Friend, I will never forget you who once sucked your fingers and wet the bed, hehe.

19. I see you: a slave, with drooping hands, shining triangular eyes, four staring faces, unsmooth facial features, six spirits showing yin, eight or two small heads and nine yellow beards, which is very unlike a human being.

2. If you don't work on Labor Day, you are ignoring social regulations! I'm not threatening you, please treat me to dinner quickly! Or I'll post your phone number on the street: overnight hotline! And take care of the rice.

21. Mochow has no bosom friend in the road ahead, and she is a neighbor all over the world. Looking at the bright moon in the distance, I send my worries, and I miss my hometown thousands of miles away. There is no doubt that the mountains are heavy and the waters are heavy. Take out your mobile phone and there is one-it's going to rain, so close your clothes quickly!

22. The mouse calls the cat: Hello! The meal is OK! Come down to Missy! The cat lay on the mouse hole and stretched out its front paws to take out the mouse. Pants, pants to pay all night, the next day to pay the same sound.

23. Since I met you, you should be very clear about your position in my heart. Except for you, others are a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different, because you … are two piles.

24. Your face is as beautiful as a flower, and your docile personality is as cute as a kitten, so you have to make me feel: I finally know why people say you are not human.

25. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I really want to be by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I leave, you jump out of the pigsty!

26. Today, talented people get together, and there are geniuses, scholars and talented people, but all the wood, matches and touches that shouldn't have come are here. At first glance, you are missing. Don't look at the information, fool.

27. The butterfly said to the bee: You are so stingy. You pretend to be full of sweet words, but you won't give me a word. The bee said: Hum! What's more, why didn't you send me a text message with two antennas on your head?

28. Life that doesn't aim at happiness is nonsense. Love that doesn't end in marriage will break up sooner or later. It's best not to do a job that doesn't reward you with a raise. Who will read the information that doesn't take flirting as an idea!

29. As soon as you went out, you stepped on a pile of shit. You said: I was lucky today, but I didn't go far. You said: I was lucky today, you smelled it, and then sighed: It's a pity that people pulled it!

3. Seven commandments after meals: First, quit smoking; second, quit eating fruit immediately; third, quit relaxing your belt; under the temptation immediately drinks tea; fifth, quit walking; sixth, quit taking a bath immediately; seventh, quit sleeping immediately! Bajie: Do you remember?

31. According to Cupid's legend, one arrow through the heart represents love at first sight, two arrows through the heart represent wishful thinking, and three arrows through the heart represent luck. I'm shooting arrows at you. Small kind, you just wait to become a hedgehog!

32. You are really cold these two days. You must take care of yourself. Don't freeze-as the saying goes, people freeze their legs, pigs freeze their mouths. I have put on my trousers, so you should buy a mask quickly.

33. You said that you couldn't stay warm with me, and you couldn't live a life without food and clothing, so I had to bury my pain in my heart and silently wish you "Huang, come back when you have no meat.

34. Xiaoli shows off to Ahua: You are usually rustic, so you must have never seen a famous brand! Look at my new bag, it's LV! Ahua deadpan: I'm not good at Pinyin. Is this word pronounced "donkey"?

35. Scissors are used to shave hair, combs are used to comb hair, and hair dryers are used to blow hair. Singing is for showing off, makeup is for being photographed, and as for you ... alas, it is for being a knife head.

36. Hey, nowadays, almost all people use keyboards instead of pens. In fact, there will be a strange thing when typing with keyboards. If you don't believe it, look at your keyboard and there will be a pig hand on it!

37, you go! Find someone worthy of your love … I don't know you well enough. I know that some things can't be forced and some distances can't be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really couldn't believe that you left with someone for a bone.

38. I liked you since I was a child, and I never gave up on you when I was growing up. However, an attack of your flu completely changed my mind. I'm sorry, but I dare not eat pork these days.

39. If you are a genius, I worship you. If you are a generalist, I will learn from you; If you are a wizard, I envy you; If you are a talented person, I recommend you; But you are a fool, and I can only cheat you!

4. I have too much of you and have been hurt too much. I really want to get rid of it. I have no happiness with you. How can I live with your entanglement? Please, let me go-hateful troubles.

41. The tour guide gushed: My father presided over the construction of this cultural palace, and he also designed the building. Just as the tour guide opened his mouth, a tourist interrupted and said, I see, it was killed by your father!

42. In order to consolidate our friendship, narrow the gap between the east and the west, curb the disparity between the rich and the poor, put an end to social division, stabilize social order, and promote ... lend me 2 yuan!

43. My girlfriend tried to lose weight several times, but failed. She asked me for advice and sent a short message after thinking hard. "Friend, want to lose weight? If you want to, then talk about a lovelorn love. "Be beaten.

44. The dog met the pig and laughed. The pig asked inexplicably: Why did you laugh after seeing me? The dog couldn't help laughing. Look at you, so stupid, and learn to play with your mobile phone and read short messages. Will you?

45. Do you know what day it is today? Look at the mobile phone text message. Weather forecast: it will rain in most parts of North China during the day tomorrow, and mobile phones, computers, US dollars and other money will fall with the rain through satellite detection. Please be prepared to get rich!

46, whether you miss me or not, my heart is with you, never leaving or giving up. Whether you follow me or not, my belief is firm. Come to me, or let me come to you. Pay the bill, I like it in my heart.

47. It is said that if you pay back what you owe others, the rest will be yours. I suddenly found that I still owe you a short message, so I must pay you back this short message now, and then a good friend like you will be mine!

48. Because a virus is found on the SMS network, don't read and receive short messages on your mobile phone for nearly one month. Remember! The virus is "because of the virus found in the SMS network, don't read and receive short messages with your mobile phone in the past month, remember!"

49. In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, and you always sleep soundly ... I really envy you, alas, sometimes I think it's good to be a pig like you!

5. You have a kind heart, and you will selflessly help everyone in the world who needs help. Everyone says that you are an angel from heaven to help others. Unfortunately, your face landed first!

51. Water may not be drinkable-salary; Horses may not be able to ride-flattery; Life is not necessarily capable-life; Letters don't necessarily use paper-short messages; Send you a short message, I hope you stupid child can learn more new terms!

52. You often say that you can do anything for me, but the day I saw your girlfriend, you stabbed me twice. You often said that you could empty my wallet for me, but that day your girlfriend said that she was short of money, so you took my wallet!

53. One day I went on an expedition with you, and I met a troll. He sniffed me and you with his nose, and then decided to eat me. I felt it was unfair. I asked him why, and he said, "I'm a Hui, and I don't eat pork."

54. A chicken's egg is called an egg, a zero in the exam is called a duck's egg, an empty pocket is called a poor man, a bad guy is called a bad guy, and an explosion is called a * *. Look at this sentence. If you are angry, you are a fool, and if you laugh again, you are a big fool!

55. The German Planetarium decided to name the newly discovered comet after you and your lover, and gave you two German names: Johnny and Nader for the convenience of Chinese people. And this new comet is called: Jonnard!

56. On the bus, a young man saw a beautiful woman's collar open very low, and spring leaked out. He joked,' It's really a place where peach blossoms bloom.' After listening to this, the beautiful woman lifted her skirt and said, "There is still room for you to be born and raised."

57. A letter of accusation against those who don't reply to the message: This behavior is inhuman and impolite, shameful for all messengers, and should be punished. Based on this, those who do not reply to the information in the future will be given titles.

58. In the middle of the night, you woke up to relieve yourself and forgot to turn on the light. You accidentally fell into the toilet and struggled to make a heroic sacrifice. When the news reached Beijing, the chairman was shocked and wrote an inscription: Life is absurd, death is cowardly!

59. One day, the pig gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was the male and which was the female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. The pig scolded: you are really an ass, man left and woman right.

6. I miss you in the most beautiful mood, remember you with the sweetest smile, look at you with the purest eyes, and bless you with the most sincere heart. And then, and then. I hit you with the biggest stone. Who told you not to remember to send me a short message?

61. Go find someone worthy of your love. I don't know you and your feelings well enough. I know that some things can't be forced, and some distances can't be crossed. Just like yesterday, I couldn't believe that you ran away with someone for a bone!

62. I am tender and caring for you. A drop of wine makes you intoxicated; Delicious portions, keep your stomach healthy. I'm waiting for your date by the river, and I've cast so many bait, fish, why don't you take the bait?

63. I know I can't catch up with you. With so many people chasing you, I'm sure I'm hopeless. Forget it. Some things can't be forced. Give the opportunity to others. Anyway, catching up with you will do the same for the people! You still run, little mouse!

64. The US military offered a reward for the capture of al-Qaeda elements, but two of them searched in the desert for several months without success. One night, a man woke up from a dream and found himself surrounded by more than 2 gunmen. He hurriedly called his partner, "Get up, we are making a fortune!"

65. According to the most mysterious story in China, a new virus has invaded this city. You were infected when you received this message. From now on, you will fall into happiness and suffer from happiness forever!

66. Nowadays, the competition in this society is fierce, and everyone is too busy to stop. It is normal to have pressure and dissatisfaction. In order to let you vent your pressure, I will throw caution to the wind. Come on! Let it out! Hit me hard with your money!

67, () long time, () high eight fights, () get rich, () swear; (1) Birds fly first, (2) misfortune and happiness in the evening, (3) freedom, and (3) freedom. Fill in the blanks and read the first word together. It's fun.

68. I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I am carrying a roast duck to your house! The bad news is that a dog accidentally caught up with him and took the roast duck. The person next to him said that the dog came from your house! You owe me a roast duck!

69. In the red sun and blue sky, farmers rushed into the cinema excitedly to watch the third-grade film, and their angry shouts shook the sky. The village chief came to ask what happened, and the farmer said, "The person who read the text message doesn't star, and we won't give money if we are killed."

7. Brother Monkey sent me a message to tell my second younger brother that there are three main steps to cultivate Bai Gujing: first, becoming a white-collar worker, second, becoming a backbone, and third, becoming an elite. Brother Monkey said that he hoped the second younger brother would be happy when he saw the letter! Keep in touch!

71. If time goes back, we will all go back to childhood. I will definitely ask you to play, play hide-and-seek with you, catch fish in the river, beat you to tears, and then pat your little face to make you laugh. And then I'll hit you.

72. I dreamed of you last night. You have a pair of charming eyes and burning lips. Holding 3 in my heart makes my soul turn upside down. Your charming 5 officials make me lose my mind. A heart with 7 ups and 8 downs makes me remember for a long time, say 1 words and send the wrong person.

for many years, thank you for your silent company. Cold weather gives me warmth, hot weather is not too wet and salty, and it is always accommodating to me and tolerant of my shortcomings. Although there are flaws, you still don't abandon me. I miss your smell! Old socks.

74. It is said that cats sleep for ten hours every day, play for four hours by themselves, stare blankly for four hours by themselves, be teased for four hours, eat and drink for one hour, and spend the last hour.