Please recommend ways to improve your sense of humor and humorous and nonsense novels.

This is a very popular quip on the internet, and now I'll copy it to you. You have heard this thing many times in Baidu, and you all remember that you can use it freely at ordinary times. It works well when you say it on appropriate occasions. Even if you have heard it, you will still be very happy. Language is an art, it depends on how you master it. ...

1. Bajie, don't think you are a night pig standing under a street lamp.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the mountain, and the world has the Great Wall.

When the college entrance examination results came out, the teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said to me: In fact, it is a kind of happiness for you and the university.

Please don't ask him to use his brain-his left brain is full of water and his right brain is full of flour, so he just moves easily and everything is paste.

5. I will help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve.

6. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.

7. When you stumble and become a cripple, you turn around and flash your waist.

8. I don't like to tidy my room. They all call me a messy room hero.

Hope is like fire, disappointment is like smoke, and life is like fire and smoke. ...

You said you would wait for me, and you did. You found someone to wait with.

A celebrity is a person who nobody knows who he is before he becomes famous, but who he is after he becomes famous.

My world suddenly began to snow, my god! Please don't comb your hair next to me.

I like making friends, especially girlfriends.

Fools wait for death, wise men wait for money.

A fat man claimed that he was not a clown.

I envy you for knowing me so young.

1, your name will appear in my household registration book one day!

2, think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.

I have lived for more than 20 years and have done nothing for my country and people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.

I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.

5, life, is life, is living ~ ~

6. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.

7. The ship naturally sinks when it hits the bridge ~ ~

8. When you put on the wedding dress, I also put on the cassock ~ ~

9. I prayed to Jesus to give me a stable life. He thought for a moment and said, let's talk about world peace first. ...

10, say it out loud if you love me! Hate me and hide it in your heart all your life!

1 1. Do all the bad things you can while you are young. It's only been a few years.

12, I planted a bunch of girlfriends in spring, and now it's autumn. Gee, nothing ~ ~

13, you once told me that you would love me forever. I understand love, but what is it forever?

14. A seven-year-old boy is the most terrible creature on earth. They are curious, active, destructive and have the law on the protection of minors.

15, people are awesome-I won't pay back the money if I say no!

16, summer is hard. I didn't even drink the northwest wind when I was poor. Fortunately, it's autumn.

17, although I believe in vows of eternal love, I don't necessarily believe in you ~ ~

18, whatever I can't let go must be because I can't have it ~ ~

19, special people never say that they are special, such as me.

There are only two things in my life, 1. This will not happen, and that will not happen.

2 1, adult uncomfortable, comfortable adult ~ ~

22. I know that all banquets must come to an end, but at least, I want to eat well at the banquet! Joke house provides

23, explanation is a cover-up, cover-up is a story ~ ~

24. People can't get along with each other!

25. Whenever I am in trouble, I will read Tibetan scriptures: "Oh, moo, coax", which translates into English: all the money goes to my house!

26. Kindness means bia ji doesn't eat meat when others are hungry ~ ~

I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, but I have been following the rules for so many years.

1, I had a dream last night that the white Venus told me many secrets! It turns out that we were all immortals 500 years ago. I cried, I remember! Sweet, it's Jiro! Do you remember me, Xiao Tian? How about these hundreds of years?

2, don't be crazy with me, my eldest brother Qin Shihuang! Don't pretend with me, the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China is behind me. If you don't believe me, bin Laden is my uncle. Bomb first, then poison. If you refuse to obey again, the registered policeman is my aunt. Change your account to a pig!

3. How much I fucking love you, and you fucking ignore it; I give you a fucking discharge, and you fucking pretend not to see it; I fucking want to jump off a building, and you fucking want to turn back; You fucking changed your mind! I fucking landed!

4. When a meteor falls in love with the earth, it will fall without hesitation, just for that moment; When clouds fall in love with running water, they fall without hesitation, just to relieve the suffering of lovesickness; As soon as I think of you, I will not hesitate to pay a dime to tell you in advance: Happy June 1st, little P-boy!

You drag a pig shopping, and you look very happy. I passed by and said sympathetically, "Look at a person's grade and who he is with." Before I finished, I saw the pig abandon you with disdain.

6. On the first day, were you a pig? You answered no, and you were beaten-dishonest! The next day, I asked you if you were a pig, and your answer was, beaten-not modest! On the third day, I asked you if you were a pig, but you didn't say a word and were beaten wildly-even if you were a pig, you still dragged on! ! !

7. It's the end of the month. If you still have something to say, please read this tongue twister after me: level 1 difficulty: nonsense, waving phone bills. Level 2 difficulty: the phone bill will evaporate. Level 3 difficulty: playing nonsense and volatilizing phone bills!

8. College students = eat+sleep+fall in love with pigs = eat+sleep, so college students = pigs+fall in love with more college students-fall in love = pigs, that is, college students don't fall in love with pigs.

9, affectionate days, affectionate places, affectionate I am waiting for you. I miss you with a lonely pillow: I love you+miss you+hope you+miss you+wait for you = I can't live without you, I love you-Xizhilang cici jelly!

10, God bless me, bless those who forget me, don't contact me, don't call, don't send text messages, don't miss me, don't miss me, and their mobile phones fall into the toilet. Amen! By the way, let the water flush!

1 1. It rains in every city, just like I miss you everywhere. Missing is a kind of fruit, sweet and sour, full of memories of the night. I miss you and want to crush you with uncertainty ~ ~ ~

12, what happened? Just now, I called your mobile phone. After the bell rang, I was prompted that the user was eating grass. Please don't disturb! I can't believe it. Call again and say: the subscriber you dialed has been sent to the slaughterhouse. Please share it later! Are you okay? !

13, days without you/melancholy/days without you/upset/life without you/it's really hard/when can I really have you/my dearest. . . . . . Not beauty, not you, but money!

14, if the ear itches, it proves that someone misses you; If your eyes itch, it proves that someone wants to see you; If your lips itch, it proves that someone wants to kiss you; If your body itches. . . . Stop joking, it's time for a bath! ! !

15, I saw you that day. You are very uncomfortable sitting in the sun. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: "Keep your voice down, no one will call me an idiot when I get tanned!

16, the legend of Cupid: one arrow through the heart represents love at first sight, two arrows through the heart represent wishful thinking, and three arrows represent three lucky lives. . . I am shooting an arrow at you. . . Small sample, you just wait to become a hedgehog!

65438+ Oh, I bought it! Wofa beats Yinle!

18, you know? I dreamed of you again last night. We snuggled up by the river. You look at me, I look at you. Suddenly, you looked up and said three words to me affectionately: "woof, woof, woof!" " "

19, I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky is so blue and the sea is so clear. Lovely you are swimming in the sea, and I poked you in the back with that twig on the shore: hey, this little bastard is quite hard!

20. I am an onion, standing in the rain. Who dares to dip me in the sauce? His ancestor K went through hardships and crossed the north. I drink water behind the toilet, run over my legs on the train tracks and kiss pigs. what are you reading? Kiss you!

2 1, one day you won the lottery and traveled by plane for free. Sadness: The plane crashed. Hi: There are parachutes. Sadness: I can't open it. Hi: There are haystacks on the ground. Sadness: There is an iron fork on it. Hi: I didn't fall on the fork. Sadness: I didn't fall on the haystack either. . .

22, hey! I dreamed that you were swimming in the water last night. I looked worried, so I called you to come up quickly. I didn't expect you to ignore me and look up at me: what are you yelling at? Haven't you heard that dead mice are not afraid of cold?

23. Are you a dung ball that has been rolled by a small retarded dog, a cockroach that has been trampled, and adopted by a mentally retarded master in Shaolin Temple, claiming that pear blossoms crush begonia?

24. Melatonin said that if you don't go to cut class today, you will skip professional courses. Hui Renbao said he fled, and I also fled. Dabao said you escaped today? Hao Di said that everyone's escape is the real escape. Colgate said that our goal is that no one will attend classes!

25, Tianjin version: "Mud intermediary four grasp hemp?" "Saunders Das is seventh!" "Is four dollars high or four dollars high?" "The staff is high!" "The staff is tall enough!" "Cowshed hemp! I was seen by the wall! "

26. The three most popular words during the Iraq war: peace, war and discovery. Connect these three words and read them aloud for three times, and a historical unsolved case will be solved.

27. If autumn leaves, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world dies, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you with tears. . . If I leave, . . . . The feed is in the trough, don't starve yourself!

28. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do. Not every tree can stand thirst, but poplar can. Not every pig can get a text message, but you did it!

29. 10 I can't stand it. I miss you very much. I want to see you every day. You can give it to me yourself. I will never let you down seven times. I will keep you by my side forever. I will never be half-hearted, half-hearted. I swear I only keep you 1 pig!

30. being ignored? Being bullied? Nobody loves you? It doesn't matter! Even if no one in this world loves you, cares about you and values you! My door is still open for you! Chengdu Mental Hospital gives you a five-star home!

3 1, I can't sleep when I miss you, I have a lot of thoughts when I love you, and I am lonely without you. I want to be a wing bird and fly to your head to pull a pile of shit, yeah!

32. Missing is like chocolate, bitter! That's great. Dare not miss you! Afraid of missing you! I dare not say I miss you, but I'm afraid I miss you more! In fact, I really miss you, miss you, and become a pig!

33. This may be the short message I sent you in recent days. I'm hesitating to tell you that I'm going to Japan, and all the formalities have been completed. I won't forget you, really. My family got bird flu, so I went to infect it. . .

34. When the devil knocks on the glass in front of your window, the toad gets into your bed, the poisonous snake ripples on your head, the earthworm shuttles on your toes, and the centipede has climbed into your nostrils. Don't be afraid! I rode a snail to save you! Drive! Drive!

35. The Tang Priest met a beautiful woman on his way to learn from the scriptures. Bajie decided to marry her. Wukong suspects that it is a demon. Tang Priest said it doesn't matter. Send a text message to test it. If she doesn't reply to the message, she will marry Bajie!

Our destiny began thousands of years ago. That autumn, we played in the maple forest with fire leaves. You chase me. Finally, when you caught up with me, you kindly bit me. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

37. I have always been an unknown knight in the Jianghu, until one day I met the most mysterious you in the legend and even called out your name. Since then, I have also had a famous name in the Jianghu: Zhu Zhixia!

38. Calculation problem, choose a number from 1 to 8 as A, A plus 3 minus 2 to get B, B times 9 to get C; Add 10 digits to C to get D, multiply D by 50 to get E, and subtract 200 from E to get F, which means your life. Very clever!

I dreamed that you were singing last night! Your singing is very sweet, and your sentimental expression touched me. I almost vowed to love you for 10 thousand years, but I dare not, because you are singing to a donkey: I will be you when I grow up!

40. Legend has it that wishing on a meteor is smart. I wait every day. That day, I finally saw a meteor. I close my eyes and make a wish before it falls, hoping that you will become smarter from an idiot. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find that the meteor flew back in the same way!

4 1, full moon night, the top of Huashan, alone, like a fairy? Long hair fluttering, far-reaching eyes, holding an object, pointing to the sky! Retract slowly, stretch slowly, look up and shout after three laps: "Unicom, no signal!" "

If I had a candy, I would give it to you, because I want you to be happy. If I had two sweets, we would each have one. I think we would be very happy together. If I had three sweets, I would give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me!

43. The falling rain reminds me of my infinite thoughts ~ ~ To put it bluntly, I miss you! When the weather is fine, I will take you to that green meadow. But I agreed with you in advance: only eat grass and don't arch the ground!

44. It's the Spring Festival, and there's nothing for you. I'll change all the change in my pocket into steel for you. If someone bullies you, hit him with steel and let him know how powerful we rich people are. Don't forget to pick it up after smashing it. We must live!