My girlfriend is doing military training in a distant university. She is very tired when she comes back every night. Please ask for some short messages that can make her happy and forget her tiredness

My girlfriend is doing military training in a distant university. She is very tired when she comes back every night. Please ask for some short messages that can make her happy and forget her tiredness! thank you I'll send you some funny short messages I selected online, and send them to your girlfriend when she comes back from military training in the evening. Me too. I wish you happiness!

When the hunter was hunting, he saw two birds in the tree. He raised his gun and shot down one bird. He found that it was hairless. Just wondering, another bird flew down and cursed the hunter: Damn it, I just coaxed her to take off her clothes, and you shot her down. . .

A parrot is hung at the door of a restaurant. When a guest arrives, he says, Hello, welcome! A regular customer thought, I'll hurry in and see how you react. One day he ran in, and the parrot said, X your mother! You scared me! ! !

The restaurant fly said to the toilet fly: You chase after the fishy smell all day, and I eat spicy food all day. Come here! Toilet flies: No common cause, no common goal. What's the use of eating well? How many beautiful women have you seen?

Today, I spat at the entrance of the ticket office, and an old lady with a red armband came up and said that spitting was fined five yuan. So, I gave him ten dollars and spat again: "Keep the change!"

topic: one after another

student: after work, dad went home one after another.

Comment: How many dads do you have?

Freshmen on campus are called "international students", students with money at home are called "high-wealth students", and students who doze off in class are called "poor students".

An American called Bush a * * in front of the White House, and was immediately arrested on the charge of revealing state secrets.

The thief stole a chicken and plucked its hair by the river. When the police passed by, the thief threw the chicken into the river and explained to the police: This chicken was swimming, and I was looking after its clothes. < P > A man was constipated when he went to the toilet, but suddenly he saw a man rushing in, and it was suddenly stormy. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "What do you envy? You haven't taken off your pants."

Every day, a wife searches her husband thoroughly to see if she can find a woman's hair. A * * searched for a long time, but found nothing, but still scolded: Now you even want a nun!

The old man confessed to his wife before he died: I once had an extramarital affair, please forgive me! Wife: What a big deal! You can sleep! Which of our children looks like you?

The teacher visited the home and asked the students: Is your family happy? The student proudly replied: happiness! Father came and slapped him in the face. "Boy, who told you to change your surname!" "

I just met a net friend, who looks like a flower, or a disfigured version of a flower. Can you imagine ...

I like to leave my life to fate: I always flip a coin when I wake up in the morning, and if I face up, I will go back to sleep; If my back is up, I'll lie in bed and watch TV. If the coin stands up after landing, I will get up and tidy up the house.

if beauty is a sin, you have committed a heinous crime! If being sexy is a mistake, you've made it again and again! If cleverness is punished, don't you want to cut to pieces? ! Happy New Year's Day to the most beautiful woman in the world!

The God of Wealth asked me to tell you to be kind to people, especially to the person who sent you this message. Always make this person happy. Invite this person to dinner and give him a generous gift, and the God of Wealth will take care of you.

A lady took a snapshot. After taking the photo, I went to get the photo of automatic development. After reading it, I exclaimed: Why do I look like a monkey? The woman behind said grumpily, that's mine. Yours has to wait.

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: *, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

2, 2, I feel very distressed when I received your message for a long time.

I thought of dying. I used potato chips to cut my veins, hit my head with tofu and jumped over the building with a parachute.

I hung myself with noodles, but all of them died.

Please invite me to have a meal to support me to death.

3. If you feel cold in your heart, please call me! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce someone to me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

I was chatting with my friends just now, and some of them talked about you, you know? I quarreled with them and almost started to fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan, which was really too much! I didn't treat you like a pig at all!

I've always wanted to say two words to you, and I finally got up my courage today: First, I love you and I like you so much; Don't take the first sentence seriously.

I see vicissitudes in your brow, confidence in your eyes, years in your forehead and leeks between your lips and teeth. Go and brush your teeth!

eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit.

two cows are eating grass. One of them said; "There is a recent epidemic of mad cow disease. We won't be infected, will we?" The other end said; "No, we are kangaroos." Already crazy!

I have always been an unknown knight in the Jianghu, until one day I met the most mysterious you in the legend and even called out your name. From then on, I also had a famous name in the Jianghu: Know the pig is narrow!

doctor: "why can't I find my pen?" I want to give you a prescription. "The patient whispered," Doctor, didn't you put it in my armpit? "

I want the sunshine to warm you, to decorate you with starlight, to intoxicate you with wine, to satisfy you with beautiful food, to dazzle you with fireworks, and to drown you with happiness. But I haven't been a God for a long time, so I can only bless you with short messages: Happy Day!

A psychopath was lying in bed singing, singing and turning over to continue singing. The doctor asked him: Just sing, why turn over? Psycho said: fool, of course, after singing side A, sing side B!

nHZ ! HS OM

knew you couldn't guess,

didn't understand,

take a closer look!

don't you see?

do you know pinyin?

is there a limit to your stupidity?

turn the phone upside down!

your life portrayal: at the age of ten, you learned to take a bath by yourself-the pig cleans itself; Twenty years old is radiant-when the pig is young; Find a job at the age of 3-start a career as a pig; At the age of forty, I hired a servant-a pig's servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of fifty-pig throwing!