One-minute horror message to Lao Wang

What do you want to do on Christmas Eve? Want to get rich? Want to get lucky? Want to be an official? Want to become famous overnight? Want to stay young forever? Do you want people all over the world to be crazy about you? -Stop dreaming, wash your feet and go to bed!

On this beautiful Christmas Eve, God said that one of my wishes could come true. I took out my globe and said, I want world peace! The Lord said it was too difficult! I took out your photo and said, make this person beautiful! God sweated and said, "Bring me the globe and let me have a look! “

It rained on Christmas Eve, the weather was very wet, and the mood was very wet ... You just stared at the cold window and continued to observe. I came up to you and whispered, "Wang Cai, go in. Santa won't send bones."

Did you have a good time on Christmas Eve? I tell you, I have changed my job, and now I work in a bank, not far from you. Come to me when you have time, call my name at the bank, and I'll know. Yes, I changed my name. It's so vulgar! ! My name is Qiang Jie now.

On behalf of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China, the State Council, the National People's Congress, the Central Military Commission and the offices of Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan in the State Council, I would like to lodge the strongest protest to you: Why is Taiwan Province Province not on the map of China after you wet the bed on Christmas Eve?

Your happiness, I will build it; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I'm the only one who cares about you. I am a professional pig farmer.

Dude, you're going to invite me to dinner on Christmas Eve. If you don't meet my requirements, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it-apply for a certificate.

I'm really scared to hear that you have been trafficked. Although you have dementia since childhood, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it!

Doing bad things is called a bad guy, being empty-headed is called an idiot, being fired is called getting out, and swearing is called an asshole. Alas, it's over. People who can't chew bones go to eat black-bone chicken and white eggs. They are reading a short message of Merry Christmas!

Bird flu didn't scare you, and chicken plague didn't erase your spirit of working hard for the continuation of your family. When you walk into the delivery room again, I silently wish you: Happy egg laying!

Wanted order: An old man with a white beard and a red robe often sneaks into residents' homes at night and puts something happy and deadly. Anyone who finds it should call the police immediately. The alarm code is Merry Christmas! You will get lifelong happiness as a reward.

Snowflakes are bookmarks for my good memories. Dancing under the colorful Christmas tree in the moonlight is my lovely dream. On this special day, let me wish you a Merry Christmas with my sincere greetings!

From the South Pole to the North Pole, I sincerely wish you! Santa Claus from the North Pole invites the immortal birthday girl from the South Pole to wish you and your family happiness, smile at life, live a long and rich life and receive more gifts!

I want to let the sun warm you, decorate you with starlight, intoxicate you with wine, satisfy you with food, shine on you with fireworks, and drown you with happiness, but I haven't been a god for a long time, so I can only bless you with short messages: Merry Christmas!

Santa Claus is too fat for elk to hold! The sleigh can't ride! So I volunteered to distribute my blessings instead of him. I wish my friend all the best! Merry Christmas! _ Send you full blessings!

For the comfort and pleasure of your Christmas trip, please send me a text message to inform you of your height and weight-I made a wish to Santa Claus, hoping that you would be my Christmas present, but his old man asked me to prepare a sock of the right size first!

A trace of true feelings is worth a thousand taels of gold, a trace of warmth is worth Wan Li frost, a greeting brings warmth and sweetness, and a short message brings all my thoughts: Merry Christmas! Happy every day!

When the "old" people arrive at Christmas, their "friends" are supreme. Cherish the love of "friends", smile "hope" for peace, welcome "you", meet "saints" on Christmas Eve, be happy when you are born, act quickly and have a happy party.

Snowflakes are fluttering and cool. On Christmas Eve, I sighed softly at the candle. Happy smile, like bright light. Deep tenderness, like bright stars. I wish you peace. Love waves, spend Christmas together.

With the coming of Christmas Eve, I thought of my friends far away. May the bright and festive Christmas candle warm you every day and night of the year, just as my smile always fills your heart! Merry Christmas!

Snowflakes are floating in the sky outside the window, and hymns in the church are flowing in the crowd. I am praying: May the candlelight on Christmas Eve open your heart and make your life brighter!

I want to give you an apple that is half green and half red on Christmas Eve. The green one represents me and your past, a little green. The red half represents my happiness and sweetness for you now and in the future ... Merry Christmas to you!

The sea was calm and the moonlight reflected the sea very romantically. I threw the glass bottle full of blessings into the bay with the bell, and the bottle floated with the tide. If you receive this letter in the bottle, it is the person I care about most. Merry Christmas!

The green Christmas tree is full of my thoughts about you, the long Christmas socks are full of my love for you, the beautiful Christmas candles light my blessings to you, and the lovely Santa Claus brings my greetings to you. Merry Christmas!

Colorful snow was falling in the dark sky, and the cold forgot the yearning for moonlight. The green pine and cypress are wrapped in silver, and the breeze is swaying and blowing a little bit of yearning, so that the calm night brings me my deep blessing: Christmas is safe and happy!

It was Christmas Eve again, which lasted for several years. Passionate love is still there, followed by deep affection; In fact, plain is true. Then, let's keep our love in our hearts forever … Merry Christmas and a happy life!

Snowflakes flying all over the sky, with frozen finger marks in my heart, quietly fly to you in the depths of my thoughts. In this quiet moment, let's hold hands and fly happily in the Christmas bell. ...

If you look up at the night sky tonight and there is a star twinkling, it is to wish you a safe life; There are thousands of stars shining, that is to wish you happiness forever; If there are no stars, then too many blessings will make all the stars pale.

If you can shine the sunshine, whose heart do you want to warm? If you can blow the spring breeze, whose smile do you want to stretch? Who do you miss on this Christmas Eve? No matter how things change, I wish you every success. Merry Christmas

-

"There was a sincere love before me. I didn't cherish it. I regretted it when I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God can give me a chance to start over, I will say three words to that girl:' I love you'. If I have to add a deadline to this love, I hope it is 10,000 years. "

-"A Chinese Odyssey"

"Then let's all start this relationship right away!"

-"A Chinese Odyssey"

"I am Kang Xuan, 18 years old this year. I am a trainer in Gusu, clean and innocent. Just for the sake of my poor family, I finally became buddhist nun in a mansion in China. It is worth 520 taels of silver. Since the autumn season, it has been temporarily kept in the accounting room and recovered after three years. Since then, it has taken over the study, burning incense and sweeping the floor, washing inkstones, grinding ink and so on every day. Start from the beginning. This contract is the foundation. "

Explanation: On the surface, this is a contract. In fact, Tang Yin has explained his purpose, and there is also the word "self-made" behind it, pun intended. The word "head" refers to the first word of each line, which means "I am Chou-heung" when read together.

-"Tang Bohu points Chou-heung"

"As long as you say I can, even if the whole world says I can't, I don't care!"

-"agent provocateur"

"I raise you!"

Explanation: As the action goes on, you must chase the door and shout loudly. I don't know any woman who can resist such a confession.

-"king of comedy"

-

I looked at your sexy body that day, writhing naked in front of me and stroking your skin gently. I can't resist your temptation: boss, I want this fish!

You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I smile because you are strong, and I am rich because I sold you. .................................................................................................

I was nervous for the first time. He always let me relax gently, and then he inserted it into my body. There is blood, and I am too painful to speak. That's when I realized ... Blood donation is like this!

That night, I held you in my arms and told you to put that thing on your ear. You said it was cool not to wear it. It's a safe period now, nothing ... what should the traffic police do without a helmet?

I am a person who likes you. The first time I saw you, I decided that you were the one I should wait for in my life, but my only regret was that. ...................................................................................................................................

When you left me silently, I was in great pain and didn't know what to do. I hate myself when I watch your back leave. It's all my fault ... I got up early and caught the bus.

Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? I miss you every day and every night. I want to eat, sleep and work, and I really want to tell you to pay back the money quickly.

I really love you and I don't want to leave you. You got me into too much trouble, which hurt me. If you really don't want to upset me, please hurry up ... the stock market.

You are as kind as a cat, as loyal as a dog, as lovely as a bird, as knowledgeable as a horse, as smart as a butterfly, and as hardworking as a bee. You are similar in all aspects. No wonder everyone calls you an animal.

When I first met you, I said to myself: You are my goal in this life. I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you ... RMB.

Life becomes uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party took you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I want you to come back to me-wallet.

Don't ask me why I am crying, my tears flow for you and my heart is broken for you. I hate that man, why did he take you away from me ... thief.

Shy, I have been afraid to say anything to you, but today I finally got up the courage: when will you invite me to dinner?

If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there were no sun, there would be no light on the moon; If it weren't for you, stupid people wouldn't exist.

Diner: How much is a night's sleep? (How much is a bowl of jiaozi) Attendant: Rogue! (Sixty cents) Businessman: Sixty cents? Too fair. I have been here for three nights.

Because of too many times (sometimes twice a day), your hair is messy and there is no pleasure when you insert it. Let's break up ... toothbrush.

When I was down and out, you were by my side; When I was sick and injured, you were by my side; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side ... Being with you will bring bad luck.

"Is it tight?" "Never mind!" "Can you go in a little more?" "Be careful, it should work!" "Does it hurt?" "It doesn't hurt! It feels so cool! I want this pair.

Looking at your streamlined body, I want to burn my body, open your unopened seal, insert my own stick and suck your crystal liquid. Cool! Ghosts; Sprite

I thought about it in my heart. Two pieces are itchy. Stick a stick in the middle. This stick is too short. Two pills don't itch, and I don't want to ... Are you addicted to smoking again?

Late at night, walking alone in the cold street, lonely heart, nowhere to go, always thinking of you, thinking of you, looking forward to you, I really want to say to you loudly ... invite me to dinner?

How many times have your tender body clung to me, and that gentle and considerate caress made me enjoy a moment of pleasure, but after enjoying it, you became thinner and thinner ... inferior soap.

I have been by your side, worrying about you again and again. Are you full today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I always knew you couldn't take care of yourself. Every time I walk away, you jump out of the pigsty.

You lean on me gently, your slender hands touch my tender skin, and your gentle mouth sucks my body fluids until you float away with satisfaction! Oh, damn mosquitoes!

You flashed by, making my blood boil and my heart surge. Looking at your back, I really want to keep you. I told myself, I can't let you leave again, and I will never … catch thieves again!

A man threw a handle forward on his bicycle and met a traffic policeman at a fork in the road. The traffic police shouted at him: good hand. The man replied happily: comrades have worked hard!

I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled up to each other. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

The hot girl called a taxi. Miss, what will you wear in the future? Spice Girl: Red miniskirt! Recipient: Then where to go? Spice Girl: It's thighs!

Hungry, I can't resist your temptation. When I was in close contact with you, you gave me an indescribable pleasure. I think the earth is spinning. I want to have a big fight with you, but I'm afraid of getting pregnant ... dear beer.

In the vast sea of people, my heart is broken for you. You seem indifferent, but you make me feel boring. Your indifference makes me afraid to confess, but I can't extricate myself. Now I want you to understand ... you are stepping on my foot.

I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky is so quiet, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so boundless. You stood on the blue beach and I stabbed you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard has a hard shell.

I like crawling around on you, touching every inch of your skin and lying in your arms. I can't live without you for a moment. I love you.-sofa.

On the journey of our friendship, sometimes you can't see me by your side. It's not that I forgot you, nor that I let you go alone. But I choose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fall, I will run and step on my feet. ...

The next time I meet you, I will definitely pull you to the bedroom, lock the door, quickly push you down on the bed, cover your head with a quilt, and extend my big hand ... Look, my mobile phone has a blue screen.

I have always had a good impression on you, and your face has always appeared in front of me! But I am too poor to expect, and now I have money! You can say loudly: boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

I've been meaning to say three words to you these days, but I'm afraid I can't even be an ordinary friend, but I can't help it. I still want to say: borrow some money!

Ah! Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible. Dear, let me bite you hard-braised pork.

How can I bear to see you leave? How many warm and happy times we spent together, but today we are going to break up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: wait a minute, I won't sell this dog.

Someone saw you today, and you are still so charming, walking slowly in a plaid vest and looking detached. It is really cute. I wonder how you beat rabbits in those years.

Many nights, you snuggled up to me gently, touched my delicate place with your delicate hands, and sucked my precious body fluids before letting go. Alas! This damn mosquito!

If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there were no sun, there would be no light on the moon; If it weren't for you ... stupid people wouldn't exist.

I'll give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will be full after eating a catty. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself.

May Day Golden Week! Value-for-money luxury tour, tractor pick-up, mountain climbing tour of Beijiang River, taro digging, sweet potato eating and chicken shit picking! It only costs ten yuan to enter the five-star cowshed (hotel)! Sign up quickly!

Don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight it bravely. There are only three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog. QQ:8 17620**）

Butterflies complain about bees. Their bellies are not small, and there are many sweet words in them, but they don't tell me. How irritating! Bees complain about butterflies, wearing strange flowers, and the two antennas on their heads are too long. They just don't send me messages. How annoying!

Tips for love, seven commandments after meals: first, quit smoking, second, stop eating fruit immediately, third, relax, drink tea immediately under temptation, fifth, take a bath immediately, and seventh, go to bed immediately! Bajie: Do you remember?

After all these years, do you know how hard it is for me to find you? I traveled all over the world just to find a face like yours. This is my business card. Welcome to my plastic surgery hospital at any time! Misleading experts

Hey, almost all people use keyboards instead of pens now. In fact, there is a strange thing about typing with a keyboard. If you don't believe me, look at your keyboard. There will be a pig hand on it! Happy April Fool's Day!

[April Fool's Day] Don't think that building a city can settle down; Don't think that sowing seeds will lead to a bumper harvest; Don't think that the summit is conquest; Don't think that I have forgotten you. At a critical moment, such as today, my first thought is of you.

Welcome to the beauty call station. Please press 1 to find local girls, press 2 to find oriental girls, press 3 to find western girls, and press to find gay .................................................................................................................................... Today is April Fool's Day!

Don't read and receive SMS messages in the past month due to the virus found in SMS network, remember! The virus is "because of the virus found in the short message network, don't read and receive short messages on your mobile phone in the past month, remember!"

One of the most typical jokes on April Fool's Day: Tie your wallet to the street with a thin thread, and then pull this thread in the dark. Once someone finds a wallet, they will suddenly drag it away!

Dear users, your mobile phone number won the first prize in our city's prize-winning network access activity, with a bonus of 1 10,000 yuan. Please take your pistol to any bank to get it. Password: Freeze!

That day, you cut a pig with a knife, and the pig fled into a dead end, only to hear the pig kneel down and beg for mercy from you: "We were born from the same root, so why fry each other!" "

The new four idiots: people who can't hang themselves in love, people who take medicine without illness or disaster, people who find sick ladies, and people who giggle after reading text messages!

You are a genius-a born fool, graduated from Harvard-Harbin Buddhist College, and you look fine-it's really not your fault that you look like this.

Please don't look down, turn it off. There is really nothing to see. Come on, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Well, you asked for it-you are a pig!

People are really tired when they are alive! Standing thinking about sleeping, waiting in line when getting on the bus, unrequited love is really painful, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, work is particularly tiring, robbery is not enough, making money has to pay taxes, and texting has to pay silly pigs.

Part I: It's windy and rainy. I am waiting for your call back. Bottom line: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life. Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.

Kangaroos and monkeys in forest games were praised by the lion king for jumping high. The bear was criticized and said unconvinced: I will jump over this bridge tomorrow! Lion King: Look at you. You are still on the bridge (you are still watching! )

I heard that a toad jumped out of Taihu Lake today and was run over by a car. I've been worried. I'll text you right away. If you are still alive, please reply to me!

Jianghu knows that you are skilled in martial arts, but you can't be proud. If you do this, you will no longer be a man but a swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman!

Look at you, American head, French waist, Indian nose, Hong Kong foot, people are not people, ghosts are not ghosts, only one head and two legs, look at you, and smile at the text messages!

Under the red sun and blue sky, farmers excitedly rushed into the cinema to watch the third-grade film, and their angry shouts shook the world. The village chief came to ask what was going on, and the farmer said, "People who read short messages are not on the stars, and we won't give money if we are killed."

Do your fingers itch? That means I miss your caress; Do your lips itch? That means I miss your kiss; Are you itchy ... that means you are dirty. Go and take a bath!

You are as hardworking as a bee, as beautiful as a butterfly, as loyal as a puppy, as smart as a kitten, as simple and honest as an old cow and as fierce as a tiger. No wonder people call you an animal!

Since ancient times, who didn't have shit and who didn't use paper shit? If you don't use toilet paper, do you use your fingers?

Whether it is a gust of wind or not, it is so eternal; This is a dream, but it is so real; You bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. Finally, I can't help but say to you, "let me know before farting!" "

If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there were no sun, there would be no light on the moon; If it weren't for you, stupid people wouldn't exist.

I can't eat because I miss you in the morning, I miss you more at noon, I can't eat because I miss you crazy at night, and I can't sleep because I'm hungry at night.

I heard that your mobile phone has no SMS function, so I sent this SMS as an experiment. If you receive it and confirm that it has SMS function and it is not my SMS, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

When my cell phone rings, it means I miss you. Second, I miss you so much! Three times, I miss you very much! Four tones, I miss you very much; Five tones-demonstration, it's time to answer the phone!

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day when you pass me, I will fall for you. If I don't smash you, it will be in vain.

Beggars beg along the street with monkeys. He told them to laugh, cry, bow and read short messages.

The other day, when you participated in the ball game, you only scored one goal. Before the goalkeeper could react, the goal was scored! We all applaud and cheer for you. You got up and patted your ass and said, damn, the ground is too slippery!

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly-pig!

The aquarium celebrated the birthday of the old dragon king. During the dinner, Prime Minister Turtle took something out of his arms, looked at it and put it back. The dragon king quickly asked, what happened to Prime Minister Gui? Shrimp, soldier and crab will quickly answer: the old bastard has received the text message again.

Last night, my friends thought a lot, so did I. Only you are the coolest. I looked for you in my dream. Looking back, you were really thrown in the depths of someone else's donkey shed and tied up. How cruel! Cruel! Calm down after reading the information!

Are you free tomorrow afternoon? I want to find you. Can you pick me up at the station? However, I'm afraid it's hard for people to recognize it. You let your head explode, with a stick in your right hand and a porcelain bowl in your left. The joint signal is: Come on!

I dreamed about you. You made a dress out of white clouds, borrowed wings from a bird, put a broom behind your ass, and flew to me like a sword. Tell me affectionately: Do you know? That's what birdman looks like.

I thought there was something better, but I found it again and again, and the best was around, just like you. At first, I didn't think so, but as time went on, I realized that you were the best … bullying!

I am determined to do three major things for the people of the whole country: 1 building elevators for Mount Everest, 2 tiling the Great Wall, and 3 reversing the plane; Do three little things: 1 put gloves on flies, 2 put a mask on mosquitoes, and 3 feed you some pig feed.

When you arrived in xishuangbanna tourism, Yunnan, you were besieged by a group of wild boars. Tourists took out food and money, and the wild boar was unmoved. You took out your unique ID card, and the pigs knelt down and cried: Boss, we found you!

You are a 10 playboy. You often have fun with 9 and 8, and you have billions of money. You have given up for seven years, and you are always looking for prey. You need to ask more questions, but you are still half-hearted. You are definitely not a good person.

You are very creative, living is your courage, ugliness is not your original intention, without you, who can set off the beauty of the world!

After reading The Three Kingdoms, the tiger went to catch wild boar. When he saw that there were no pigs in the pigsty, he touched his beard and said, Empty city plan! I turned around and saw a dead pig on the animal trap. I was shocked: danger! Suddenly seeing you again, I was overjoyed: yo-ho, there is a honey trap!

The toad pursued the swan, and the swan said disdainfully, if I were like this, I would have died long ago! Toad refused: Is the pig still alive? When the pig heard it, he felt wronged: I provoked whoever I recruited, I was just reading the text message!

There is a yearning, a love, a beauty, an agreement, and a greeting, hello pig!

I don't want to be alone I want to have it, too. I walked along the street to have a look. Handsome men and beautiful women are holding hands, but I am holding hands with my left hand. Now I just want to go out with you, but I'm afraid my friend will say, don't always walk the dog.

In a military exercise, a shell deviated far away. I was sent to check and found that the shell exploded in the farmland. You stood there, your clothes tattered, your eyes dark and your eyes watery. You said to me: Is it worth stealing a cabbage with a shell?

I miss the days we walked together. Spring is beautiful, birds are singing and flowers are fragrant. The villagers all praised you for your beauty and cuteness. The villagers also praised me for being smart and capable, and I came out to release pigs at such a young age.

When you are lonely, watermelon may be your best way to vent. You can cut it, cut it, cut it, and at the same time, you can shout loudly: I kill melon, I kill melon, I kill melon!