I was in a bad mood as soon as I received my father's WeChat. How should I adjust?

You talked about what your father did that had a profound influence on you:

1. "In the worst period of COVID-19, I was indifferent to colds and coughs." 2. "I had a domestic violence before, and then I told him that if you do this to me again, I will post your behavior online and he will stop." 3. "He is irresponsible. He drives fast when he is in a bad mood (all the family are sitting in the car). " 4. "He is hypocritical and says he is a dutiful son. After his grandparents died, he even said, "I finally got out." "5." He did too many unpleasant things. "These things, I think they are just a deep part of your memory. Question 1.2.3 They not only show your father's indifference to you, but also show his irresponsible and selfish side.

Regarding the fourth point, I want to say my opinion: we didn't see what my father did for you when your grandparents were alive (or before they died), but your father said that he was a dutiful son, which implied that he thought he had paid a lot. He felt that what he paid made him physically and mentally exhausted, so after your grandparents died, he said, "I finally got out." In other words, this sentence is "I am finally freed from the burden."

If your father doesn't pay for your grandparents, he just says he is a dutiful son, then he is really hypocritical. But if he paid for your grandparents (time, money, companionship, care), then it is understandable that he said such a sentence at that moment. It's like paying 30% of your salary to your parents every month and visiting them regularly, but you are actually paying for them.

Let's talk about your troubles again: "every time I hear from my father, I feel very uncomfortable and don't want to reply, but it will have a greater impact if I don't reply." What should I do? "

First of all: when you say "more influential", do you mean that your own mental baggage makes you feel worse, or will your father treat you violently because you don't reply?

Secondly: you have a bad relationship with your father. The harm he once gave you made you resist him. You don't want to communicate with him, and there is nothing to communicate with. You don't have much affection, and you feel that you are forced to deal with him, just like you used to deal with homework.

But you know in your heart that he will always be your father. He raised you, and you have the responsibility to be filial to him until he dies. Every time he comes to you, he seems to remind you of this responsibility, but this responsibility is not what you really want to bear. It makes you a little breathless, so you think for a long time and decide to leave the city where your parents live. The distance you want will give you more room to adjust your state.

Then: you said you didn't want to reply, and it seemed that not replying would have a greater impact. Failure to reply will make you feel guilty and unfilial. Is it because you don't want to be "fake filial" like your father's treatment of grandparents? Do you think it is filial to send them home every month if everything is echoed?

Then, let's get back to the point, learn to accept our emotions and ask ourselves, "Should I be filial?" When emotions appear. Then, you can try to follow your heart when you answer or not answer the information, or try every method to see the consequences and find something more suitable for you.

Finally, when the mood swings are too great to deal with alone, find a suitable person to talk to. ?