Absolutely funny short message encyclopedia, super fun words.

Absolutely funny short message encyclopedia, super fun words.

Absolutely funny short message encyclopedia, super fun words.

There are some things you should know! Days are used for windy and rainy days; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I was used to prove the greatness of mankind. And you: "It is used to stew vermicelli. ! "

Don't get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouted, "Are you a brother?" Brother did it! ! "

It is reported that a few days ago, Iraqi armed forces hung your jade photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of American soldiers to vomit and die. After investigation and evidence collection by the United Nations, it is confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction, so run quickly.

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.

Every day, I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting blooming rose. When it reaches 999, I will give it to you together and say emotionally, "Little son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you!" " ! "

I know you pay attention to hygiene. Wash your hands carefully every time you go to the toilet. Suddenly you stopped washing your hands. I'm surprised: why don't you wash your hands? You replied: "I brought paper this time! ! "

Miss you, is a very happy thing; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened. Humorous jokes

Husband: Honey, I'm fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!

"Do you know why men like to have long hair like women nowadays?" "Because, if your lover or wife finds long hair on their clothes, he will smile and say,' This is my hair!' "

You were internship in a mental hospital, and suddenly a psycho came after you with a kitchen knife. You turned around and ran until you reached a dead end, thinking it was over. The patient said, "This is your knife. It's your turn to chase me!" " "

If you want to travel abroad, sincere friends will see you off. The cold wind cannot stop our friendship. I hold your hand and say, "Make a good reform and try to reduce your sentence!" " ! "

Have you started working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully, "If you don't roll more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in winter?" ! ! "

Honey, I miss you again. My love for you is increasing sharply every day, because someone told me that pork has gone up in price, so you can get a good price!

The defendant promised to his defense lawyer: "If you have the ability to let me go to prison for only half a year, then you will get an extra reward of $65,438 +0 ooo." As a result, he finally got his wish, and the lawyer said, "This is really a hard job, the original law."

Officials hope to be acquitted. "

In those days, we walked quietly on the path in our hometown, and you bowed your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Oh, it's so beautiful and clean! Also praised me: good boy, come out to release pigs at such a young age! ! "

Oh! It's snowing. I really want to turn into a snowflake and fly to your arms. I flew into your collar. Fly into your cuffs. Fly into your ... why don't you zip it up? Interesting text message

A group of male hippos risked being eaten by crocodiles and crossed the river to woo the female hippos. After crossing the river, they found that all of them were castrated by crocodiles, and only one survived. The only one explained that you are so stupid. You are all breaststroke, and I am backstroke.

"You know what? My husband was injured in the table tennis final. " "But no one has seen him play?" "yes. He broke his vocal cords while watching the game. "

Honey, you know what? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. It's almost the Spring Festival, but your health is worrying ... who doesn't want to let their pigs kill a few kilograms more!

A lady went to take pictures. After the photo shoot, I'll get the auto-developed photos. After reading it, I exclaimed: Why do I look like a monkey? The woman in the back said coldly, that's mine. Yours has to wait.

A player can't catch the ball steadily. While practicing passing and catching the ball, another player gave him a good ball. He was afraid of losing his grip, so he shouted "Hold on". As a result, the ball hit him on the head and he only heard him say, "With whom?"

Listen! I want to chase you! I thought you were! I have been looking for you! I will seize this opportunity! I must catch up with you! Dead flies!

When you are lonely and empty, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can cut it, you can cut it, you can cut it with a small knife, and you can vent yourself and shout loudly, "I killed the pen, I killed the pen, I killed the pen!" " ! "

There was a fight between the camera and the mobile phone, and a camera came running excitedly: report to the chief, grab the mobile phone! When the camera saw it, it was angry: Why did you arrest us undercover? This is a mobile phone that can take pictures!

The sky is so clear, the sun is so brilliant, and the sea is so boundless. You were standing on the blue beach, and I stabbed you with a stick: "Hey, this little bastard, his shell is quite hard! ! "

On the first day of the obstetrician's internship, his wife asked him, "How was today?" The doctor said, "It's not too bad. Although the mother and the baby were not saved, the baby's father was finally saved. "

In the military training under the tree that year, the instructor said to the students: Count off in the first row. You looked at the instructor in surprise, and the instructor said loudly, "Count off! So, reluctantly, you turned and hugged the tree! ! "

I don't care about long hair, dirty clothes, messy beard, and the image of men and women. I go to bed at noon and never want to win. Who is it? It is you!

Your voice comes from the valley. I looked down and found you at the corner of the mountain. It is you! It is really you! You were with an old man, and I excitedly ran over and said, "Grandpa, borrow the donkey!" " ! "

If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad! joke book

Seedless watermelons have been successfully developed, and they frequently participate in various celebrations and reports, with unlimited scenery. Other watermelons are envious. A watermelon is indignant: what is beautiful? There is no next generation.

A drop of water is very small in the ocean and very large in the desert; Red-crowned cranes are small in cranes and large in chickens; You are small in the crowd and great in the pigsty!

You know, I met a mentally retarded person yesterday. I have never seen such a stupid person. As for how stupid? Let me tell you this, he may have a lower IQ than you!

Please touch your little red face first, and then touch your little belly! All right! This lecture on pig raising knowledge is over. See you tomorrow!

God said to grant me a wish, and I said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said to make this person more beautiful. He pondered and said, "I'll take a look at the globe again!" ! "

I vomit when I drink too much, cry when I am sad, climb trees when I drive, and I can't move when I see beautiful MM. I always feel that I am making money soon, and my feelings are always not improving!

Do you know that?/You know what? I really want to take you out to experience the charm of ktv! Do you know what ktv is? Then k stands for you, t stands for you, and finally I'll make a V gesture!