How can I tell my wife if I don't go home after drinking?

Literally, we mean "getting drunk" rather than "drinking".

For most people, "drinking a glass of wine" has long meant a happy time for friends to laugh and laugh. Based on the different ages of each of us, based on the environment around us when we first drank, we all have all kinds of memories and expectations (sometimes anxiety), which reminds us of a cold beer, a cocktail, gin and tonic water, whisky and beer, a sip of red wine and so on.

Over and over again, in the early drinking process of most people, the expectation of alcohol can always meet the actual needs of drinking.

If every time is just right, we will naturally think that "drinking a glass of wine" is a pleasant experience, which not only meets our own needs, but also does not exceed the norms of religious customs. At the same time, it satisfies our desires, caters to the etiquette of social occasions, and helps us relax, cheer up and realize our various pursuit goals. For example, a 55-year-old Finn, when someone asks him for a drink, can't help but immediately think of the warmth brought by drinking a glass or two of brandy or vodka in cold weather when he was young.

If she is a young woman, she may immediately think of a gorgeous crystal cup filled with champagne, fragrant clothes, intimate friendship and romantic atmosphere, or a young man with jeans, beard and long hair at a rock concert, taking out a bottle of booze from a bag full of bottled wine, with flashing lights and smoke, and everyone screaming and screaming, which is exciting. A member of AA said: "Have a drink" is almost synonymous with eating pizza and drinking beer.

Another 78-year-old widow said that when she was in a nursing home, she often couldn't help but think of the habit of drinking a glass of sherry before going to bed. Although this kind of drinking is very natural in our minds, it is misleading in our current situation, and this is also the way some of us start drinking.

If this is the process of drinking, it is unlikely that we will deteriorate into a drinking problem in the future. However, if we look at the process of drinking fearlessly, we will find that no matter how hard we try, there has never been such a perfect and magical moment in our last few years or months of drinking.

On the contrary, we have repeatedly found that our actual drinking amount is far greater than this, which always leads to some kind of trouble in the end. Maybe we just feel a little guilty about drinking too much in private.

But sometimes it will turn into a fierce quarrel, which will affect your work and even lead to serious diseases, accidents, or legal and financial problems. So, when a suggestion of "drinking" appears, now we try to recall the whole process from the beginning of drinking to the last poor drunkenness and hangover.

General friends invite us to drink, which generally refers to the way of entertainment and a cup or two of tasting.

But if we carefully recall all the details of the pain caused by the last drunkenness, we will not be confused by the long-standing impression of "drinking a glass of wine" in our minds.

Now we can frankly admit that in terms of our real physiological reaction, we are quite sure that a cup of yellow soup means that we will get drunk again sooner or later, which will bring a series of troubles.

Drinking no longer means music and joy to us, but memories of illness and regret. A member of Alcoholics Anonymous once said, "I know that if I go to a bar for a drink now, it will never be the same again, just spend a little time and some money."

This drink will exhaust my bank account, my family, my house, my car, my job, my reason and even my life. This is really too big, too expensive and too risky. "

He remembers the last time he got drunk, not the first time he drank.

Alcoholism is a progressive fatal disease. This disease is caused by human sensitivity to alcohol and psychological impulse to drink. At present, there is no medicine or psychotherapy in the medical field that can be "cured"-we can't simply change our characteristics by hospitalization or taking medicine, so as to return to the normal and moderate social drinking state in the early stage of drinking.

Thousands of alcoholics can't stop drinking. Not only do we see many alcoholics die of drinking-from "D.T." or convulsions, or cirrhosis caused by drinking, but we also see many deaths caused by drinking that are not caused by alcoholism. Moreover, when car accidents, drowning, suicide, homicide, heart disease, fire, pneumonia or stroke are listed as the direct factors of death, the fact is that the serious drinking behavior of alcoholics leads to the conditions and direct causes of death.

Most of us haven't reached the final stage of terrible alcoholism, so now we feel far from that fate when drinking. But if we keep drinking, there is no doubt that we will only die.

Many alcoholics who can't give up drinking will blame themselves for their weak moral values, or think it's because of their unbalanced mentality. However, drinking is not morally wrong, because it is a disease. At this stage, it can't be overcome by one's own will, because alcoholics have lost the ability to choose freely in the face of alcohol.

So we don't have to be embarrassed about our illness. There's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not our fault. We don't want to be alcoholics. We don't want to get this disease, just like no one wants to get pneumonia. Experience shows that as long as you have a strong desire to quit drinking, fully realize the seriousness of the problem, and take care of yourself in an alcohol-free and happy way, you can still live a happy, healthy and valuable life like a normal person.

Step 2 stay away from the first glass of wine

"If you don't drink the first glass of wine, you won't get drunk." "More than one cup is not enough."

When we change from ordinary drinking to drinking, frequent drunkenness seriously interferes with our life and work, so we reduce the number of drinking, or try to control the amount of alcohol to one or two glasses, or switch from high drinking to beer or wine to avoid getting too drunk. Maybe we can stay awake for a while, and then we will start drinking again when there is an opportunity (some special celebration, personal confusion or nothing special at all). At first, we just wanted a drink. As one glass of wine has not caused any serious consequences, we think it is safe to drink another glass. But it turns out that this is just a trap-when we drink two or three cups, we feel good, and then we feel that it will be okay to drink one or two cups according to our ability. As a result, we couldn't help drinking too much and returned to the original drunken state.

Doctors who specialize in alcohol dependence told us that it was the first glass of wine that triggered the potential desire to drink, which made us out of control. This repeated experience leads us to the conclusion that it is impossible to try to control the drinking plan without getting drunk, and avoiding the key glass of wine-"Never do anything wrong with the first glass" can keep us awake for a long time.

Alcohol dependence is an addiction to alcohol. As a soft drug, alcohol is just like any other addictive substance. If we want to stay in a state of recovery, we must stay away from the first anesthetic that causes our addiction.

Step 3 Use the "24-hour" plan

In the days of alcoholism, we often solemnly swear "never to drink again" when we are very uncomfortable. "I swear not to drink for a year." From the bottom of my heart, we really don't want to get drunk again. Of course, some people will have reservations: saying that this oath is only for "spirits", not for beer. In fact, beer and wine can also make us drunk, but we just need to drink more to achieve the same effect as white wine. Drinking beer and wine is no less harmful to us than drinking spirits.

However, after a while, vows and painful memories will be forgotten. I don't know when we started drinking again. Our forever will never last.

Of course, some of them did keep their promises and quit for a long time, two months, six months, or a year. Until the time came, we felt that we should be able to drink freely and control it ... We resumed drinking and soon got into the original trouble with new guilt and regret.

Alcohol dependence is a permanent and irreversible disease. Our experience tells us not to swear to stay awake for a long time. A more practical and effective statement is: "I just don't drink today."

Maybe we drank it yesterday, but we can decide not to drink it today. No matter what kind of temptation and anger we encounter, we try to avoid drinking the first glass of wine today.

If the desire to drink is too strong, then divide the 24 hours into smaller units-at least one hour-and we can tolerate the discomfort caused by this temporary abstinence, then one more hour! Another hour! Go ahead. If we succeed today, we have reason to believe that we can succeed tomorrow.

The "24-hour" plan is very casual. We can start over at any time, no matter where we are. At home, at work, in the hospital ward, at 4 pm or 3 am, we can always decide not to touch alcohol for the next 24 hours or 5 minutes.

We are just trying to live today (now), just to stay awake-it really works. Once this way of thinking becomes a part of our thinking, we find that a 24-hour life is equally effective and satisfying for dealing with other things.

Step 4 take action

The more we want to stay away from alcohol, the more we want to drink. So simply staying away from alcohol (or not thinking about drinking) is not enough.

Once you stop drinking, how do you spend your free time? Most of us have formal work to do, but we still have a lot of free time to kill. Therefore, we must cultivate new hobbies, arrange colorful activities to fill these hours, and at the same time find a suitable outlet for the energy once addicted to alcohol.

There are many meaningful things that are suitable for us to do.

1. When you start abstinence, you can take a walk or take a brisk walk. Especially to new places you've never been before. Go for a leisurely stroll in the park or country road, but it's not a tiring March.

2. read. Although some of us can't settle down to study, we really should read some books, which can broaden our horizons, increase our life experience and concentrate more.

Visiting museums or galleries, some people choose photography is also good.

4. Swimming, running, cycling, yoga or other exercises recommended by doctors.

5. Deal with long-neglected housework. Tidy up the wardrobe, dresser, file documents in different categories, or deal with things that we have put off for a long time. But when we do these things, we should not be greedy and do what we can. Don't clean the whole kitchen or all the files at once, but clean one drawer or one folder at a time and do other work another day.

6. Try to cultivate new hobbies. Choose activities that are not too expensive or demanding, purely entertaining, without competitive pressure and refreshing. Such as singing, writing, tropical fish, carpentry, basketball, cooking, bird watching, amateur performances, wood carving, gardening, guitar, movies, dancing, stone carving, potted plants, collection and so on. Many people find that the activities they really like now are actually hobbies that they never considered trying in the past.

7. regain the fun of the past. A watercolor painting, table tennis or go, reading notes, etc. The one you haven't polished for years, continue these hobbies. But if you think it's no longer suitable for you, give it up.

8. Go to class. Learn Japanese or English? Love history or math? Want to know about archaeology or anthropology? Or cooking, computer operation, and then go to correspondence, TV University or adult education (just interest, not necessarily credit certificate). There are many places where you can take classes only once a week. Why not try it? Taking classes can not only broaden your horizons, but also broaden your life. In case you are tired of the content of the class, don't hesitate to quit immediately and learn to give up activities that are not beneficial to you or have no positive, positive and healthy significance. Let us summon up courage to face it again and have the opportunity to appreciate a new side of life besides drinking.

9. Volunteer to do some useful services. Many hospitals, children's service institutions and social welfare organizations are in great need of volunteers to provide various services. We can have many choices. When we can contribute to others, even if it is only a trivial service, we will find it particularly useful. Even when we talk about the process of participating in these activities and related information, we will feel very interested and particularly involved.

10. As most of us know, there are many ways to get a new hairstyle, wear new clothes, change glasses, or even update teeth, which will have unexpected pleasant effects.

1 1. Relax. Not everything we do in our daily life must be positive and innovative. We also need to do some activities purely for fun, such as kites, zoos, comedy movies, soul music, detective stories and so on. If you don't like them, then find other fun activities that have nothing to do with drinking, just treat yourself.

Step 5 change old habits

In the process of drinking, we have fixed time periods, familiar places and habitual activities. Especially when we are tired, hungry, lonely, angry or particularly happy, these seemingly ordinary and repetitive scenes are dangerous traps for our sober life.

When we first quit drinking, it is very helpful to look back on our past drinking habits to find ways to overcome our addiction. The place where we are often used to buying wine may be the supermarket we pass by when we go to work. Each of us always has our own favorite place to drink. Whether drinking with friends or drinking at a fixed time every day, we can find out when and which days we are used to drinking from the past drinking trajectory.

We can adjust all the details of life related to drinking problems.

We summarized some common drinking patterns: 1. We regard drinking as the most important or very important thing in life, occupying a central position in our hearts and never forgetting it. 2. Compared with the initial drinking, the amount of drinking increased gradually. 3. the speed of drinking is getting faster and faster. 4. Often drink secretly alone or behind your family's back. 5. Take wine as medicine to relieve emotional distress. 6. Possession of alcohol. 7. Often forget things after drinking. 8. Unplanned drinking often leads to accidents after drinking. 9. Drinking in the morning, commonly known as "open-eyed wine", some people even drink after waking up at night. 10. Drink before going to bed. 1 1. Like to drink on an empty stomach, and seldom eat vegetables when drinking. 12. Choose the brand of wine if possible. 13. Because drinking and quarreling with family members affect family harmony, or drinking affects work. 14. I once gave up drinking, but it didn't take long for my old illness to recur and get out of hand. Generally speaking, if a person's drinking behavior has more than three manifestations, it is highly suspected that it is alcohol dependence. It is often seen that some alcohol addicts have brought many adverse effects on their health, family harmony and work because of drinking, and even have some illegal behaviors after drinking. Although they feel guilty and regret for these consequences, they still can't completely stop drinking, stop drinking and drink again and again. Do they have no ambition and perseverance? No, this is because alcohol dependence is a disease, and it is a worsening disease. This disease, like diabetes and hypertension, cannot be completely eradicated. But it can be controlled. The reason for drinking again is related to the sensitivity of the body to alcohol and the psychological impulse to drink. No matter what bad consequences will be brought about by drinking again, you can't overcome it by your own perseverance. Like other diseases, there will be some characteristic clinical manifestations. Once you become dependent on alcohol, suddenly stop drinking or suddenly reduce the amount of alcohol you drink, there will be many physical discomfort symptoms, which is called alcohol withdrawal syndrome. For convenience, some people divide alcohol withdrawal syndrome into three stages according to time and severity: the first stage of alcohol withdrawal syndrome: it usually appears 6 ~ 12 hours after drinking, showing tremors in both hands. In severe cases, it can accumulate the whole upper limb or even the trunk. In severe cases, besides common symptoms such as anorexia, insomnia and irritability, tongue trembling may also occur. The second stage of alcohol withdrawal syndrome: it occurs 24 ~ 72 hours after alcohol withdrawal. In addition to the above symptoms, auditory hallucinations often occur, and the content is mostly abuse or persecution, which can lead to impulsive behavior and less excitement. Three-stage alcohol withdrawal syndrome: delirium tremens, which often occurs 72 hours after the last drinking. At this time, the patient is unconscious, has obvious tremor, walks unsteadily, and may have various vivid hallucinations, such as seeing various small animals, and the patient shows nervousness, anxiety and fear. The memory of patients is obviously impaired, and some patients may have epileptic convulsions. Even in developed countries, once delirium tremens occurs, the total mortality rate of treated patients can still reach 10% ~ 15%, and even higher for untreated patients. Therefore, it is impossible for long-term drinkers to suddenly stop drinking. If you highly suspect alcohol dependence, you should go to a specialized hospital for treatment as soon as possible. People who form alcohol dependence can't control their drinking behavior or their drinking quantity, so can they still drink normally after a period of abstinence? As far as we know, no one has ever been able to drink "normally", or just stopped drinking for months or years in social situations. Once a person develops from binge drinking to uncontrolled and desperate binge drinking, there is no turning back. Alcoholics don't deliberately drink to cause trouble, but excessive drinking is bound to cause trouble. Many people who depend on alcohol think that it is okay to drink a few cans of beer or a few glasses of light wine after a period of abstinence. Not many people get drunk after drinking a bottle or two of beer. So I mistakenly thought that I could quit by drinking only two or three bottles of beer every day. Occasionally, they can do it in a few days or weeks. Then it will be concluded that even drinking will be "comfortable". However, they will drink more and more beer or wine at a time, and before long, they will drink as much as before. Another wrong idea is to replace high alcohol with low alcohol. For alcoholics, wine is wine. No matter whether it is martini, whisky and soda water, champagne or a small glass of beer, no matter what wine you drink, it will lead to excessive drinking and repeated drinking. Therefore, it is very dangerous for alcoholics to try to control their own alcohol consumption or to drink only low-concentration alcohol after abstinence for a period of time. But in order to ensure complete abstinence from alcohol, it can only be a teetotaler. How can we do that? In addition to completing the treatment of alcohol withdrawal under the guidance of a doctor, you should also receive long-term rehabilitation treatment, including the treatment of related psychological or mental diseases, anti-relapse drugs, psychotherapy and joining some self-help rehabilitation organizations. As long as you have the desire to give up drinking and make unremitting efforts, you will succeed.