This year's friends circle hilarious copywriting

1. My roommate coughed in the morning and gave him the medicine as a cough medicine by mistake. Come back at noon and ask my roommate if the medicine is useful. Roommate said: the effect is too good. Cough pulls my pants. I dare not cough now.

I haven't returned to my hometown for a long time. I walked out of the railway station, put down my suitcase and shouted: fellow villager, I didn't recognize you! As soon as I bowed my head, my suitcase disappeared. So I cried: hometown, I recognize you again!

Ever since I heard that irregular rest is very harmful to my health, I have been scared to stay up late every day and regularly.

My girlfriend broke up with me and asked me to attend her father's birthday party yesterday. When the birthday girl eats longevity noodles, I said that this thing is called dried noodles in our place.

Last month, my income was ok. I ate what dogs eat. Last month, my income was very small. I ate what dogs eat. This month, my cattle were scattered and ready to eat dogs.

6. Have a cold war with your girlfriend and ignore each other. Sleeping at night, secretly fighting and pulling the quilt, no one will let anyone. In the middle of the night, I vaguely felt that she was tucking me in, and then she touched my head. Maybe she covered her head for fear that I was cold. My heart was touched and warm! Maybe I will be moved for a lifetime, if she doesn't fart.

7. Before he died, Gong Yu called his son to the bed and said, Move this mountain! Move mountains! The son sang with tears in his eyes: sparkling. Stupid public chess piece.

8. Riding an electric car home, racing in an empty lane, suddenly an uncle rushed out of the opposite side, riding very fast, and it was about to hit. Uncle roar: You're gone! I was right! We lay in the alley for a long time that day.

9. After the Spring Festival, my wife sent me a WeChat saying: Dear husband, Happy Year of the Dog! I replied: Dear old bitch, Happy New Year! During the Spring Festival, I stayed alone in the street for half a night.

10. When I was a child, I raised several rabbits at home and always saw adults pulling their ears. My father explained that rabbits' ears are used to pull things. Once I went to my grandmother's house, she had a donkey, and I will never forget its leg in my life.

1 1. Sleeping at night 12 is equal to chronic suicide, skipping breakfast is equal to chronic suicide, frequent barbecue is equal to chronic suicide, cell phone is turned on 24 hours, staying indoors for a long time is equal to chronic suicide, and lack of exercise is equal to chronic suicide. I suddenly realized that I had done nothing all day, and I fucking committed suicide.

12. I was drunk that night, and I took my roommate with buck teeth to bed as my wife. Then I remembered that I had no wife in the middle of the night, and I felt guilty. When I got up in the morning, I saw the dog under the bed with a sad face and remembered that I lived alone.