Send text messages to ordinary friends on May 20th.

Look at these. If you don't think it's enough, you can go to the website and search more, and you will definitely find what you need. Friend, why don't you play some interesting tricks?

1, the soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: * What can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

I have received your message for a long time. I feel very distressed. I want to die. I cut my pulse with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, and jump off a building with a parachute.

Dried noodles can make me die, and you buy me rice to support me to death.

If you feel cold, please call me! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce someone to me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live this jumping life again! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

5. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open in order to leave by your side." The water said, "I flow tirelessly all day long in order to hug you." The pot said, "I'm so stubborn when I'm fucking ripe."

6. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant happened to pass by. It looked up at the misty mountain peak and couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

7, you have grown up, there are some things you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I was used to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stewing vermicelli.

8. When you are near the railway, please don't worry if you don't bring paper. The train will remind you: wipe your pants, wipe your pants, wipe your pants! Don't worry, when you go to the toilet by the river and there is no paper, the frog will tell you: scratch, scratch, scratch!

9. Money can buy a house but not a home, marriage but not love, clocks but not time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone!

10, God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work is so annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you! What can I do? I miss you so much that you can't eat chopsticks or swallow a bowl!

1 1, send you 12 Zodiac. I wish you as smart as a mouse, as strong as an ox, as bold as a tiger, as lovely as a rabbit, as confident as a dragon, as charming as a snake, as romantic as a horse, as gentle as a sheep, as naughty as a monkey, as beautiful as a chicken, as loyal as a dog and as beautiful as a pig!

12, the beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in her stupidity without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

13, I only care about you. What I care about is whether I care about you or not. Do I care about you as much as I care about you? I feel dizzy!

14 have you heard of it? Looking back 500 times in previous lives, I got a brush in this life. Close friends like you and me seem to have done nothing in their last lives, so they fucking turned around!

15, two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two 7-dollar ones.