What to say when singing?

I can't think of anything funny, but I can tell you, you can say that. There are two kinds. The first one is: everyone can sing, please sing with me. The second type: if you sing on April Fool's Day, I can provide you with one: four major embarrassments in going to the toilet in other people's homes: no paper after pulling; Finished, there is no water; After pulling, there is still water not rushing down; It's over, it's over. The water has washed down, but it has come up again.

■ I feel that my IQ is quite high, I feel very humorous, and I feel very attractive. Test results: quite shameless!

■ When smiling, the wolf hangs himself; As soon as you sigh, the cat runs away; When you scream, chickens fly and dogs jump; Your station stinks; When sweating, lice suffer; You are uglier than a ghost if you don't dress up; You frighten the ghost into paralysis without dressing up.

■ Four things will come to the meeting: the leader speaks and takes the lead in applauding. Lead the singer and tune up. The leader took a bath and scratched his back. The leader picks up the girls and stands guard.

■ Three main points of the meeting: First, speak directly to subordinates and say "I emphasize several points"; Second, after the peer-to-peer speech, you should speak and say "I'll add a few more points"; Third, the superior leader said that you must speak, saying, "My experience has several points."

■ A recruit always lags behind in getting up and is scolded. When buying dyes, he looked like a beige dress. The bugle sounded in the middle of the night, and he was the first to re-enter the barracks. The chief praised him: very good! But next time, pay attention to the Grenade hanging in the back.

■ I dreamed of you yesterday. Really, the sky is so quiet, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so boundless. You were on the blue beach, and I stabbed you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard, his shell is quite hard.

■ On behalf of the State Map Committee, the Address Office, the Geographical Names Division, the Association for the Exchange of Straits, and the Committee for the Promotion of Cross-Strait Trade, I would like to strongly protest to you: Why didn't Taiwan Province Province appear on the map of China left by you after wetting the bed last night? Make up today! ! !

■ One day, driving on the road, I saw a car stuck in front of me: novice, old pure! Then I wrote in the back seat of the car: killer, old heartless!

■ There is an ugly gorilla in the zoo. When tourists see it, they don't spit. The first day, I went to see it, and I threw up. The next day, when you went to see it, I wondered why the gap between people was so big!

■ I am really desperate: Guo Hua has been developed into a tourist area by the state, and Master married Bai a few days ago. I had no money to eat yesterday, so I sold my golden hoop. I really miss the days when we studied classics together! Second brother, how are you?

■ Busy life is easy to kill people's enthusiasm and they are not interested in anything, so we should stop occasionally and seriously think about whether to pee with a far-sighted attitude.

■ Two frogs fell in love and got married and gave birth to a clam. Seeing this, the male frog was furious and said, bitch, what's the matter? The mother frog cried and said, Dad, I had plastic surgery before I met you.

■ Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, while cows eat concentrated feed? The old donkey sighed, we can't compete with men. We eat by running errands, and others eat by breasts!

■ Ducks and crabs ran to the finish line together, and it was a close call. The referee said: You can have scissors, stones and cloth. Duck is furious: Shit, are you calculating me? When I make cloth, he always uses scissors.

■ The old turtle molested the mussel and was bitten. The old turtle dragged the mussels back and forth reluctantly. The frog saw it and said with admiration, dear, Brother Tortoise has grown up and has a briefcase in and out.

■ Bees chase butterflies, and butterflies marry snails. The bee doesn't understand: where is he better than me? Butterfly replied: people at least have their own house, unlike you who live in a dormitory.

■ Being a man is to be a person like King Kong-masturbating for the beloved woman in the tallest building in the world!

■ If time can go back, I must spend my childhood with you. We will play hide and seek, steal sweet potatoes, fish in the river and beat grasshoppers. Then I'll hit you. When you cry, I'll make you happy, play with you and hit you.

■ Do you have a TV over there? Now, hurry up. A central Zhao Benshan was killed, and the police blocked the northeast. 19 people died, 1 1 people were missing, 1 people were fooled!

■ Two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 yuan candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried and the farmer gave them two 7-dollar ones.

■ Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

■ The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was furious: what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

■ I said, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig!" " From now on, I will call you a pig. Finally one day, you can't help yelling at me in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig!" " "

■ Are you a dung ball that has been rolled by a small retarded dog, a cockroach that has been crushed, and a cockroach that has been adopted by the mentally retarded master of Shaolin Temple, who is known as the pear flower crushing Haitang?

■ Fish said: I never close my eyes, because I want you to see you in my eyes at any time! Water said: I keep flowing, so that you can feel me hugging you at any time! The pot said: it's almost ripe. tm is poor!

■ A polar bear got bored and began to pluck his own hair. One, two ... It didn't take long to pull it out. After pulling it out, it said two words ... it's so cold!

■ Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on the bench pulled by gibbons. After the gibbons cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. People ask how they are together. Chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit!

Dear users, because most of your short messages are sent to the opposite sex, which has a very bad influence on society, we have suspended your short message function. Please bring your own bench tomorrow and go to the nearest police station to learn stylistic knowledge!

■ Your happiness, I will build it; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I'm the only one who cares about you. I am a professional pig farmer.

You already know that the B2 bomber is a high-tech weapon. Maybe you don't know-you are more high-tech! Because, you are the younger brother of B2-punk (B3)!

■ We must adhere to the business characteristics of "all guests are guests when they enter the door, and they will be killed if they take a knife" to ensure our store's continuous high profit of 200%.

So many beautiful short messages, how tired it is to enter a word into your mobile phone. Why not use Fetion from China Mobile? No typing, just copy-paste-send, and it's free. Come and register for free.

★ I am destined to fall in love with you, sit in the prison of love for you, and let love be locked on my chest for life; I am destined to fall in love with you, my heart is broken for you, and I still miss your kindness.

★ My family name is me! Love You! Miss you! I understand you! Fang Ming loves you! The baby's name is miss you! This book is called Dream of You! The nickname is chasing you! You can let me kiss you.

★ The girlfriend you want: I have the same personality as you, the same appearance as you, the same appearance as you, the same cuteness as you, and the same feeling as you!

★ When the wind stops chasing clouds, when the ice stops turning into water, when the fire is no longer hot, when the stone is no longer hard and there is no love in the world, I can stop loving you. ...

★ It is said that meteors are responsive, and I am willing to wait under the starry sky until a star is touched by me and falls on your sleeping pillow with my thoughts and blessings.

★ Buddha said: Looking back 500 times in the past life, all I got was the passing of this life. If it is true, I am willing to exchange 10 thousand encounters with you and tell you: "I really want to love you."

★ It's windy, that's my secret love for you; It's raining, because my love for you touches the sky; It thundered, and that was me shouting "I love you".

★ I was so happy to see you just now, so comfortable to see you again, so sad to miss you, so hard to chase you, please fulfill my heart!

I really want to hide you in my chest pocket and melt you warmly so that you can't live without it anymore. From now on, I won't let others think much. I am the only one who can fall in love.

★ I really want to be with you, watch the sunrise and sunset with you, watch the stars in the sky with you, and collect romantic atmosphere with you!

★ I really want to hold your hand and walk on the road of happiness together; I really want to hug your waist and be happy and carefree from now on; I really want to kiss your face, we will be together forever!

★ I really want to snuggle in your arms and feel your warmth; I really want to have your generous shoulders and feel your care; I really want to have your gentle words and feel your gentleness; I really want to have your gentle kiss and feel your honey; I really want to have your deepest hug and feel your love for me!

★ I really want to be your mobile phone. You hold it in your arms, hold it in your hands, see it in your eyes and keep it in your heart. The most important thing is to kiss you often!

If you are the ship in my dream, I would like to be the quiet bay with gentle waves and charming beaches.

★ If I become loess, loess loves you too; If the loess is covered with grass, the grass loves you; If there is dew on the grass, dew loves you.

★ If I were a breeze and you were a rose, I would quietly touch your fragrant hair; If I were a spider and you were a beautiful butterfly, I would weave my heart and hold your flying wings tightly. If I were an elk and you were a clear spring, I would sip your sweet kiss with my hot lips.

★ Roses bloom in September. I only have you in my heart. I really want to be with you. I have nothing for you but one sentence: I love you!

The blue sky is covered with blank clouds. Under the white clouds, I ran foolishly, carrying my love bag and chasing you until I was old and my soul was out of my body. Seeing that you are full of energy, dreaming that you forget fatigue, thinking that you can't sleep, don't say that you don't care, accept my red rose, it's wrong that you don't love me!

★ Sister, I love you, and I am happy and sweet when I see you; I really want to come and hug you and kiss you, but I'm afraid you will ignore me, so I have to send a text message.

Is that enough? Take your time!