Short message joke

1, I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Invite me to have a good meal, or write: marriage, male or female, unlimited conditions.

You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world to find you. After finding you, I found our wings are smooth!

3. A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl, and the girl told the boy that if you kissed me, you would be responsible for me. The boy patted the girl on the shoulder maturely and said with a smile: Don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old!

In the middle of the night, George W. Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed, criticizing his head and distributing it. Bush was startled and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and said with a grimace, "It's so soft and confident!"!

Zheng Xiding's daughter-in-law went to her father-in-law's house to find her husband. Seeing my father-in-law washing his face, he asked, Dad, where's Ding? Father-in-law is unhappy and continues to wash his face. The daughter-in-law was angry and asked, Dad, where is Zheng Xiding? Father-in-law is furious: wash your face!

6. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

7. Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and my children will live in the air from now on, not afraid of your cat. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look, she is pregnant with my child!

8. When wolves invaded, small animals set up death squads to fight. Mantis: I have two knives. Hedgehog: I'm covered in hidden weapons. The longicorn sings while swinging its tentacles: Hum! I have nunchakus! Nunchakus! Hum, hum, haha!

9. The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Does nobody know? At this time, a classmate stood up and said, that's because you are calm and naturally cool.

10, the prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! Too scary