Love joke

1. It's so beautiful to think of you. I stuffed the leg of roast lamb in Xinjiang. Missing you is fat, but it carries weight in my heart.

2. How are you, dear? I'm sorry, I'm going to stand you up again. I'm going to go to the Western Heaven on business with three other old bachelors-the Monkey King, Friar Sand and Tang Priest. It may take three to five years to come back. Wait for me!

3. If you blink, I will die; if you blink again, I will come back to life; if you keep blinking, I will die!

4. When the 9th letter falls in love with the 21st letter, will you accept me? (that is, when I fall in love with u)

5. If you are chilling, I am spring; If your heart is bitter, I am sweet; If you are sad, I am smiling. Maybe I am not everything to you, every day, but I am by no means a burden to your life.

6. Don't be afraid, the person who loves you is still there; Don't guess, he is still your original love; Wipe away the dust brought by the wind, and you will see that love is not helpless as you think. He is the happiness of your life!

7. Wife, I miss you. I sent you a short message to harass you. I really want to kiss you and hold you in my arms. I don't know where I am at this time, so I have to put it in my heart!

8. I'm afraid of getting an electric shock when I see you; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I would cut off the electricity. Love you is my career, miss you is my career, hug you is my specialty, kiss you is my major!

9. Say that money is evil and everyone is fishing; Say that beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the heights are too cold, and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

1. Love you for 1, years. Exaggerated! Love you for five thousand years, hopeless! Love you for a thousand years, ridiculous! Love you for a hundred years, too long! Loving you for 7 years in succession is my strong point!

11. A man will never refuse any woman who feels good, even if he has a woman.

12. When your heart beats faster, I don't see your mood getting worse, and I dream that your time slips too fast. Will it be a long wait to have you?

13. Before marriage, men often give women "blank checks"; After marriage, men often give women "empty checks".

14. You are water, I am sand, and I am mixed with you! You are a hook, I am a fork, and together we are friends!

15. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

16. Will you be my girlfriend? Now you have four choices: A is my girlfriend, B is willing to be my girlfriend, C is very willing to be my girlfriend, and D is above.

17. Think about how beautiful a person is, even if there are only memories to refer to, until one day you and I are old and memories shine with white hair. At least I know clearly that I will smile if I think of you.

18. Time: all my life; Location: No matter where; People: me, you; Event: Big baby loves little baby.

19. A man's biggest secret is often told to his confidante, not his same sex, family or wife. When the confidante became a wife, this part of her power was immediately cancelled. This is called gain and loss.

2. Being single is understanding, falling in love is a mistake, breaking up is awakening, getting married is a mistake, getting divorced is awakening, remarriage is stubborn, no lover is a waste, and many lovers are animals.

21. M: Every time I miss you, the star drops a tear. That's how the sea is formed. Woman: I fart every time I miss you. That's how the ozone layer is formed.

22. Snowflakes are floating in the blue sky, and beautiful leather shoes are leaking their feet. Your acquaintance with me is a myth. Please call me back gently!

23. My nose proposed to my face, but I didn't expect her face to strongly oppose it. There was only one reason: I wanted the tragedy of being black and blue to happen to me.

24. "Love" is a very strong word. The upper part of it is taken from the "metamorphosis" and the lower part is taken from the "state" of the "metamorphosis"

25. When I passed by the drugstore, I thought of you several times in my heart: I felt more and more like a "medicine bottle". Don't be angry, because you are my medicine-my mind, body and heart are occupied by you! Baby, I love you!

26. I don't know why humans have to get married. ! Let's study it together!

27. I prayed for 5 years in front of the Buddha, just to be a blooming little flower on the road you must pass.

28, stab you to death with a knife, I am afraid of blood; Poison you, too many fake drugs; Electrocute you, the electricity bill is too expensive, drown you, maybe you can swim. Forget it, I still want to die of you!

29. There are many women in the world, and men say that there is more than one woman worthy of love. There are countless men in the world, but women say that there is only one man worthy of love.

3. I fell in love at first sight, and then I fell in love with you again. I took pains all day to win my heart, and I took pains to urge my heart. Don't you understand my heart!

31. Who can recite my mobile phone number? Who can recite my QQ? Who knows my birthday date? Who knows what I'm afraid of. Who remembers what I like?

32. You are a little aura, I am a little silly, you are a little delicate, I am a little rustic, you are a little fragrant, and I am a little alcoholic. If you are angry, I will not be angry.

33. W: How do you know that you are in love with me? M: I can't sleep because I miss Nian. Woman: It's not enough to prove, because my mother can't sleep for you, but I know she doesn't love you!

34. Take care of your wife and be a civilized husband, so as to "fight back, scold back, and greet the cold face with a smile."

35. Two days ago, I went shopping and passed by the Civil Affairs Bureau. I saw many people there. When I asked, I said it was very cheap to get married now, so I thought of you. Let's get married, too. It's my treat!

36. Kiss you, you are chocolate; Kiss you, cream mixed with honey; Kiss you, you are coke and sprite; Kissing you is nothing but-I love you.

37. I'm not so busy, so I want to find a part-time job. Major: love undergraduate! Specialty: Wash dishes and brush pots! Ability: I love you without saying it! Salary requirements: your heart! Ideal contract period: valid all the year round and never quit!

38. The poor family is ugly, with a primary school education and rural hukou. There are three poor houses and one acre of thin land. My wife has no cold pot and hot stove. I want my girlfriend by SMS all year round. I dare to ask if I will!

39. The flowers in the wall are red outside the wall, and there is no way to pick flowers. If you want to pass the flowers, you have to thank them, and a joy is empty.

4. I like to stare at your sleeping face, sometimes smiling, sometimes frowning, sometimes whispering, sometimes sighing ... I'm waiting to give you a kiss and tell you "good morning" when you open your eyes. I think this should be happiness.

41. I don't love you. I lied to you. It's against my will. I really don't want to tell a lie, but I ..

42, mud is the mouth of the nest! Mud is the fragrance of the nest! I look at the mud affectionately! I want to say to the mud, I am short of mud! (please read aloud)

43. Love is the yearning in the heart, the ringing of feeling, the collision of inspiration, the shining of lightning, the sweet nectar and the intoxicating pure wine. Happy Valentine's Day!

44, come on! In this confession of acacia, I am your prisoner, and I am willing to wait for you all my life.

45. I'm ugly but I'm gentle, I'm thin but I'm full of tendons, my heart is soft but my legs are not short. I'm sure I can catch up with you and go to the ends of the earth.

46. I still remember when I was a child, my father once told me. Don't fall in love early. It turns out! That's because only waiting for your appearance can my true love be staged.

47. Persistence+miss+jealousy+suspicion+sweetness+distress+happiness+jealousy+blushing+coquetry = love.

48. My family name is me! Love you! Miss you! I understand you! Fang Ming loves you! The baby name is miss you! The book is called Dream of You! Wei Ming is hitting on you! Nickname is chasing you! My friend told me to take care of you! You can ask me to kiss you!

49. I can't promise you anything, but I will do it. If one day you feel hungry, then you will see that I have starved to death in your arms with a smile.

5. I'm afraid of getting an electric shock when I see you. I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I think I would cut off the electricity. Love you is my career, miss you is my career, hug you is my specialty, kiss you is my major!

51. I want a girlfriend: I have the same personality, the same appearance, the same appearance, and the same cuteness as you, which makes me feel exactly like you!

52. I know that you love me as God loves lamb and loving mother loves baby. Your kindness and kindness make me feel warm and intoxicated.

53. Love your strengths, know your weaknesses, and be ready to forgive your mistakes. 5131421

54. Please pay attention to men: Don't try to reason with women. A creature that bleeds for more than seven days a month can't die, which is a fate on this planet.

55. Baby, you are the best gift from God. I will treasure you in the deepest part of my love. Until we get old! Until the end of life! I miss you, kiss you, love you!

56. A lover will eventually buckle meat, but a pig's pocket is out of the lover's eye. If the relationship lasts for a long time, it is not in pork and pork. That we wished to fly in heaven, two birds with the wings of one, I would like to be a pig.

57, when in love, like a grandson, obedient; After engagement, like a son, learn to talk back; After marriage, like Lao Tzu, give orders!

58. Poplar pole is slippery. I pick rice. Yangzhou loves me. I love Yangzhou Huaniu.

59. Honey, I can't do anything without you. My only gain these days is to understand some idioms: one day is like a year, one day is Sanqiu, one day is autumn water, and one day is lovesickness!

6. You are the sun in the sky and I am the mountain on the ground. You are the moon in the sky, and I am the ocean on the ground; You are a crow flying in the sky, and I am a dog chasing on the ground.

61. Dear, please listen to me: "For you, I can go to the moon for nine days and catch turtles in five oceans!" Because: that "moon" is you, and that "turtle" is you!

62. I wish I were a wing bird in the sky, because the air pollution is too bad; Make branches on the ground again, and deforestation and logging are unreliable; The people of the world want happiness, and environmental protection should be done first!

63. My mother in the country said that a distant relative is not as good as a close neighbor. I said that few people in the city know the right door.

64. The price of loving you is $33 for breakfast (thinking about you), $38 for lunch (wanting to hug you), $37 for dinner (wanting to kiss you) and $1,314,52 for midnight snack (I love you all my life).

65. You are my cotton-padded jacket in winter and ice cream in summer. You are the Apollo in my life. I am willing to pull a scooter and collect junk for you! I wish I could walk side by side with you, and Qian Shan will surely walk through it!

66. You, you, you little leprechaun, have poisoned me with your love poison, but you refuse to give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

67. You can call me whatever you want, and you will kiss me twice. As long as you are willing to marry tomorrow, we are not afraid to knock the bone and suck the marrow. What is this for marrying a wife? I have a big scar on my head.

68. Don't be angry if your wife hits you. It's a kiss. Wife says you are a pig. Don't get angry. Scolding is love. The wife beat and scolded, all for love.

69. I love you as much as one yuan. The Great Wall of Wan Li witnessed our first love. I love you as much as I love five yuan, and the Three Gorges of the Yangtze River is like our feelings winding. I love you as much as I love ten yuan, forever!

7. I'm tired when I'm in love, and I'm tired when I'm in love. Even though you don't care about me, I have no regrets when I fall in love with you.

71. My love is like the stars in the sky, which are countless. My feelings are like cabbage gangs, which can't be cooked badly; You treat me like a beggar, leave some affection and run away. Please, love more.

72. Dancing is too tiring and singing is very expensive. Why don't you come to a reunion, miss the taste of campus, avoid being single and heartbroken, and give feedback to each other, and make a few pairs!

73. Before marriage, what couples do is "romantic"; After marriage, everything a husband and wife do is "wasteful".

74. Last night, I had a dream in which God asked me who I loved the most. I said, when I sent this message, the first person who saw it was my favorite! Did you get a look at him?

75. I have an unknown poem. Travel all over the world and no one knows. Only fools and I know. The fool is reading this poem.

76. Red and sweet are watermelons, talkative are cucurbits, croaking are frogs, and people who read information are fools.

77. One pair of two said, "If we can be together, it's really uncompromising."

78. Please click if you love me! Pressing ... Hey, hey! I told you ... You pressed it because you love me! You still press ... I'll tell you that you love me and don't admit it. I can't stand you ... You press again ... Okay! I love you too!

79. Look, it's all because of you. You always compare women to water. Now water resources are lacking.

8. If you can watch me until I become an ugly old man with bald head and a belly, then I will watch you until you become a shriveled and wrinkled old lady.

81. A man's proudest person is not how many women he has, but how many men his woman is willing to reject for him.

82. Are you secretly thinking about me? Are you really thinking about me secretly? If you really miss me, just tell me. I won't let you miss me. Be reasonable. I miss you, too!

83. If you receive it, don't blame it. You are timid and dare not confess. Choose a time to love you. Promise of eternal love, running too fast, you have to love me, too.

84. I just found out that when I can't get through to your phone, the person who says "I'm sorry" always moves.

85. The rabbit is white and white, with its ears pricked up. When it hears the beeping of the mobile phone, it puts down the radish and cabbage and sends a message quickly!

86. Dear, you always say that I love to brag, so please listen to me: "For you, I can spend nine days on the moon, but I can catch turtles in five oceans!" Because: that "moon" is you, and that "turtle" is you!

87. I watched the stars at night and found something unusual. Around your constellation, there was a circle of rare lucky light. What happened? I calculated and calculated, wow! It turns out that I am in love with you!

88. Discharge on Monday. Tuesday, hand in hand. Wednesday, "First Kiss". Thursday, madly in love. Friday, beautiful lies. Saturday, romantic "kiss goodbye". Sunday, rotation.

89. I got to know you by chance, paid attention to you when I met you twice, dated you three times and four times, and missed you from time to time. Ninety percent of me should like you, and I am quite sure that I love you.

9. Mu proposed to Kou, but Kou refused: Although we live very close, my mother said that if you stare, I will stay, and we are not suitable for each other.

91. Men are 2 semi-finished products, 3 finished products, 4 fine products, 5 top quality products, 6 top quality products, 7 waste products and 8 souvenirs.

92. rival in love, rival in love, I hate you and secretly run away from MyHoney；; Don't hit you, don't scold you, as long as you love her to the end, or I'll tear you apart!

93, beautiful mountains and clear water, you are the most beautiful in my heart; White clouds and blue sky, loving you is like jumping; The moon in the water, the sky day, I miss you for thousands of times.

94, first-class male