Humorous and funny full set of host words

{Full set of host words 15000 words. Equipped with tongue piercing, tongue twister, double reed, sketch, cross talk, song and dance, short poem recitation, it is suitable for all organs, groups, schools and companies, especially for guest performances of county-level radio and television hosts.

[Venue layout]

Red lanterns, ribbons, colored balloons, changing lanterns, red, blue, green, purple and yellow colored flowers ... In 2007, a red banner was hung in the center of the hall to celebrate the Spring Festival Gala (company name), and a pair of red couplets were posted under the red banner: ● Horses mounted on the road; Fat pig ingot welcomes Dafeng year. ● Hongmei, Pan Hu Ao Shuang with the times; The sun is shining and the canopy brings good news of spring. General Tiger Pan, was ordered to resign, in order to report meritorious service; Tian Peng Yuan Shuai sent Bao to welcome the Spring Festival. Last night, the Year of the Dog sang songs to welcome the earth. At present, the new scene of the Year of the Pig is all over China. ● Guide the road to a well-off society, divide the old and new years in the middle of the night, and make the country happy; In the year of Hainian, brilliant spring is ushered in, and people get together in spring, with abundant grains and abundant financial resources.

[5 characters]

Mistress, 28 years old.

Female referee, 25 years old.

Male player A, 25 years old.

Male player B, 25 years old.

Female player, 20 years old

[The background music "Eight Stars Good News" is played in the background, and the handsome guys and beautiful women in the company sing and dance with the music as the opening dance]

The song "Eight Stars Report Good News and Congratulations"

Hey, congratulations.

Good luck and get rich early in the new year.

The relationship is particularly good, and the net worth is thick and eye-catching.

Successful career, good health and prosperous business.

Good luck. I'm ahead. I'm very happy.

Make more money and have a happy new year.

Lucky stars and lucky stars are around every day.

I'm telling you, it's ahead of me

Any salary increase and promotion has a bottom line.

See you when you're lucky.

From the god of wealth to the god of wealth, good results will be rewarded.

Wealth myth wealth myth h money is on the right path

Take two quick steps from the god of wealth to the god of wealth.

Get you, and you have a future.

Celebrate the New Year with a beaming face.

Congratulations on your happiness, strength and strength.

Wish you a promotion this year.

Smile more at night, and the future is bright.

Congratulations. Congratulations to all of you on the New Year.

Make a lot of money, smile, buy a house, buy a field, buy land.

Congratulations, happy birthday, happy birthday.

I wish you good income every year.

Congratulations. Congratulations, everyone. Happy new year.

Jixing Zhao Gong Yong 'an has no worries, no enmity or hatred.

Congratulations, Xi, I am the happiest.

You are rich and lucky.

Congratulations. Congratulations on having a happy family. I'm so happy.

A healthy golden body nourishes the body and mind, planting good fortune and good luck.

Congratulations. Congratulations on all your kindness.

Ding Youcai and luck, Ding Youcai and luck.

Wow, I'm glad to celebrate the New Year with you at home.

Congratulations on getting rich. Congratulations on your good health.

Let's clap our hands and sing. Let's sing happily tonight. Please applaud.

Let's clap and sing loudly. Enjoy the happy songs tonight.

Lively mood, enthusiasm and heavy volume.

Everyone was intoxicated and enthusiastic, and both of them appreciated * * *

Play the piano enthusiastically and sing enthusiastically

The song is bold and unrestrained, and everyone smiles.

Drink more and wish everyone happiness.

Happiness is everywhere.

What a nice winter jasmine! Everybody loves it.

What a spring, a brilliant spring.

What a nice winter jasmine! Every family blooms.

What a nice winter jasmine! In spring, it is lush, gorgeous and elegant.

Spring flowers bring good years.

Winter jasmine is gorgeous as a picture.

Flowers bloom with wealth, making people feel happy.

Something is better than nothing.

Insert the winter jasmine, and everyone is happy.

Congratulations, everyone. Happy new year and great progress.

Good luck, good luck, a godsend, and victory will eventually belong to you.

Everyone celebrates the jubilee and everyone smiles.

Every family runs during the Spring Festival, which is nice and beautiful.

Once everything goes well, once the stock is delivered to them, it will definitely go up.

Various businesses are profitable day by day.

I wish you good health and a smile.

I hope you have a bright future and everything is forgiven.

What's more, God will protect you and you will be happy forever.

Congratulations, everyone. Congratulations.

Good luck. I'm ahead. I'm very happy.

There is no bottom line for any salary increase or promotion.

[After the opening dance, the characters come on stage in turn]

[hostess]

School of Economics didn't study in vain, and worked hard to earn money every day; All roads lead to banks, see if you understand. Recently, I discovered a new business. What did this guy ask? It's actually quite simple. Didn't you watch the TV show that today is super girl? Tomorrow after six o'clock, I will hold the first challenge host competition today. To tell the truth, just to earn some registration fees. All the signs are ready ― look. As soon as this advertisement was broadcast, many young men and women with star dreams took the bait. Please do me a favor after a while. It's childish to hold a program to challenge the host today. One is to fulfill me, and the other is to fulfill the dream of a star, okay? Encourage the atmosphere: "Handsome men, charming women. Good evening. Tonight is full of true feelings, tonight is full of happiness. What you are watching now is the first "Who Give Me" Cup Challenge Host Competition, which is broadcast live by XX TV and exclusively sponsored by Mengniu Dairy. I am the sister of XXX, a famous program host. The audience outside can interact with us through SMS. Mobile users send text messages PK to 8006, Unicom users send text messages KO to 9868, and PHS users please participate in our program by express mail. Ok, next, please pay a lot of money to invite the team-level referee of the production team from the distant Liang Zheng Village to enter the venue. "

[The female referee walks into the court to confess ―― The declaration of love runs through her mouth]

I am a handsome word to describe! I am handsome, charming, well-proportioned, young and rich, brave and invincible, the room is the first, I am alone, invulnerable, dominating one side, my husband is jade-faced, different people have different opinions, the wise man sees SHEN WOO, and the chivalrous man is extraordinary. Once upon a time, it was unparalleled throughout the ages. Go through fire and water for friends, spare no effort, go ahead with bullets, be generous, be extremely smart, be blessed with happiness, live a long life, be indomitable, be immortal, be a hero among chivalrous people, be affectionate, have courage and color, be chinese odyssey, be a teacher by example, be honest and credible, and talk generously. Supreme, supreme, gorgeous, heroic, moral example, not drunk for thousands of cups, not confused, knowledgeable, a man of great talent, proud of all beings, the world's master, aboveboard, selfless, the first hero, warrior, anxious as the wind, quiet as a forest, like a fire, moving like a mountain, known as pear flowers over Haitang, people send. I hope to express my love for you through this heartfelt voice, which will never change. ...

[hostess]

Good referee.

[female referee]

Hello, comrades. Law enforcement must be open and strict. Yo!

[hostess]

On February 28th, the referee came all the way from the distant village of Liang Zheng, which was really difficult.

[female referee]

Serve the people ―― A dead dog is not afraid of boiling water.

[hostess]

Please sit down. Next, please welcome the contestants.

[Three contestants, two men and one woman, enter the venue, and five people jointly deliver the opening speech]

[hostess]

The bell rings, the years go by, stories are left, hopes are brought, hopes are beautiful, and blessings are sent.

[female referee]

I wish flowers grow well, people grow healthy and the moon is long and round. You are like rain in the sky and I am like a house. I am willing to make a shape and a shadow for no reason. Second, I wish my husband (wife) a thousand years old. Third, I wish myself a healthy growth. Four wishes are like beams, and we will meet each other year after year. Five willing to kiss or not, hometown people; Beautiful or not, the water in the countryside. The relatives are willing to kiss, and the neighbors are willing to be safe. Sixth, I hope that all lovers will be well. Last life was doomed, don't miss the marriage. May you look at the same age every year and spend every night looking forward to it.

[male player A]

The bagua palm will change, so will you, and so will I. You change the needle and I change the thread, which is related to you. Put on makeup and face you. You make a box and I'll make a mirror. Don't change your face. I hope being rich is a mistake. I wish all friends and relatives here, all wise ladies, all beautifully dressed ladies and all distinguished gentlemen make the same mistake again.

[male player B]

Tonight, colored lights and fireworks bring me friendship and blessings, and I will spend an unforgettable minute with you. May it bring you happiness, well-being, peace and good luck.

[female player]

The wind is soft and rainy, and the moon is full; Good days and beautiful scenery every year, happy life every day. Winter goes and spring comes, like water smoke; Time flies, and life needs to be full of joy.

[hostess]

A new year, a new beginning; The blessing of the heart, a new starting point. The train runs very fast because of the front of the car. The XXX leader in the station prepared a wonderful speech. Please welcome XXX leaders to deliver a New Year speech.

[The hostess left, and Taiwan Province leader XXX took the stage to give a New Year message]

Ladies and gentlemen,

Tao Yuanming's language is plain, natural and natural, abandoning the applied fiber, revealing the true beauty of simplicity and making reading always new.

On behalf of XX TV station, I am honored to welcome friends who come and go frequently, wise ladies, beautifully dressed ladies and distinguished gentlemen.

The cleanest water is the clear spring flowing in the deep mountains, and the most precious thing is mutual support.

I thank all the staff for their hard work and their efforts for our unbreakable friendship.

Good time, good mood, accompanied by pleasant music and laughter, I wish you peace in front and happiness in the rear; Luck is the collar, wishful thinking is the sleeve, happiness is the button, and Coca-Cola is with you every day!

Friendship knows no borders. Friendship brings us together. I feel very happy to see such a laughing party. Now it's the XX Party, the maple leaves are full of windows, and the room is full of laughter. May our friendship always be as warm and sincere as the atmosphere in the hall today; May our happy cooperation be as bright as the maple leaves outside the window today.

thank you

[XXX, the leader of Taiwan Province region, made a New Year toast and left the scene, and the hostess appeared]

We are all pursuing a happy life, and we make life colorful.

[female referee]

The game is the beginning of your first acquaintance; Games are my confession of relaxation.

[male player A]

The game is the decision that you and I suddenly meet; The game is your stage and my space.

[male player B]

We love games because we love life. Applause for the female contestant "XX tongue twister".

[Attach 5 tongue twisters for selection]

1 0,800 pacesetter

Eight hundred pacesetters rushed to the north slope, and the artillery ran side by side to the north; Artillery is afraid of throwing pacesetters, and pacesetters are afraid of throwing artillery guns.

We should study physics and chemistry.

We want to study physical chemistry, and they want to study hairdressing. It is necessary to distinguish between physical haircut and chemical haircut, learn to cut hair without cutting hair, and learn to cut hair without being physical and chemical.

3. Pepsi-Cola Pepsi-Cola

White Stone Pagoda White Stone Pagoda, White Stone Pagoda White Pagoda, White Pagoda White Pagoda, White Pagoda White Pagoda, White Pagoda Big.

4, Kuge melon basket across the wide ditch

My brother crossed the wide ditch with a melon basket, and quickly crossed the ditch to see the strange dog. Look at the strange dog's melon basket buckle, melon rolling basket buckle strange dog.

5. Loofah vines are covered with ropes.

Guateng stretched out around the rope rack.

The rope is long and the vine is long,

The rope is thick and the vine is strong and the melon is heavy.

[hostess]

Today, we are gathered together for the same wish.

[female referee]

Today, we drink to a better life.

[male player A]

Let's enjoy ourselves in a happy atmosphere.

[male player B]

Show our talents in wine and music. Please welcome Mr. A, a male player, and Mr. B, a male player, to perform cross talk "Man-Han Banquet".

[The others leave, and male player A and male player B perform cross talk "Man-Han Banquet"]

[male player A]

You have been waiting for you for a long time.

[male player B]

Thank you for your kindness.

[male player A]

You were very popular before driving.

[male player B]

Don't! Don't! The main reason is that you are popular.

[male player A]

You're welcome, you're welcome, you light a lamp on a high mountain-

[male player B]

How do you say this?

[male player A]

Name (Ming) is big.

[male player B]

Where is it? Where is it?

[male player A]

Arrange flowers in the sea—

[male player B]

What do you mean?

[male player A]

Deep roots.

[male player B]

Dare not, dare not.

[male player A]

Blow the horn-

[male player B]

What news?

[male player A]

The name (voice) is right there!

[male player B]

I am flattered.

[male player A]

Next year's male prostitute-

[male player B]

This is?

[male player A]

Lao Chen's son.

[male player B]

What a witty remark!

[male player A]

The queen mother cursed the birthday girl-

[male player B]

This?

[male player A]

Old baby!

[male player B]

Contrary to ...

[male player A]

Mullah fish floating in the sea-

[male player B]

Hmm?

[male player A]

An old bangzi who walks in the Jianghu.

[male player B]

This is too much.

[male player A]

I mean, you know a lot.

[male player B]

Come on, don't hold it!

[male player A]

I'm not praising you. Who doesn't like listening to your cross talk?

[male player B]

In fact, people mainly like to listen to your cross talk.

[male player A]

I feel the same way myself.

[male player B]

Hey! There are such people.

[male player A]

No matter who you listen to, people who come here listen to cross talk anyway.

[male player B]

How fresh it is. If you buy cabbage, you will go to the vegetable market.

[male player A]

So we should try to talk to you about cross talk.

[male player B]

Otherwise, I'm sorry.

[male player A]

Today, not only do you say that cross talk needs hard work, but in return for your support for many years, I want to invite you.

[male player B]

Please. What?

[male player A]

Please have dinner after listening to cross talk.

[male player B]

All right!

[male player A]

My treat.

[male player B]

That's right.

[male player A]

You pay.

[male player B]

Of course ... no!

[male player A]

My treat. Of course I paid.

[male player B]

What are you going to treat us to?

[male player A]

What are you going to eat?

[male player B]

I am going to eat roast duck.

[male player A]

Go to Quanjude

[male player B]

Instant-boiled mutton will be fine.

[male player A]

Donglaishun.

[male player B]

And a wonderful liver.

[male player A]

Cheap shops.

[male player B]

that ...

[male player A]

Ok, ok, it's just a long-time snack in a small shop.

[male player B]

It's young, isn't it?

[male player A]

Who pays the bill?

[male player B]

Your treat.

[male player A]

Yes, my treat. Can I treat you to this?

[male player B]

What's going on!

[male player A]

How stingy! If this is known by others, it will be regarded as a joke and said that I am bragging. I want to lose such a reputation, how can I show my face in front of you?

[male player B]

Visible?

[male player A]

Performance is performance.

[male player B]

What are you going to treat us to?

[male player A]

Don't say what to eat, just listen to the scene of eating, and you will know what is going on.

[male player B]

What kind of scene do you want to eat?

[male player A]

First, we should pay homage and burn incense.

[male player B]

Yes!

[male player A]

Then play the little father.

[male player B]

oh

[male player A]

Set the golden cup and jade chopsticks.

[male player B]

Wow.

[male player A]

Then the bell rang and dinner was served.

[male player B]

This is a scene.

[male player A]

The dancers appeared in two teams, graceful, long-sleeved and good at dancing, moving lotus steps like water hibiscus, and showing their figure like singing and dancing.

[male player B]

The goddess came to earth.

[male player A]

You deserve it.

[male player B]

What is this dish?

[male player A]

I brought you ten meters for the first time. ...

[male player B]

Rich enough.

[male player A]

I'll serve you ten bowls of No.2, ten pieces of white soup rice, twenty pieces of hairy fish plates, twenty pieces of watercress, twenty pieces of hot food to persuade wine, twenty pieces of side dishes, ten pieces of dead fruit and ten pieces of fresh fruit in order. ...

[male player B]

!

[male player A]

Twenty-four baking pans, such as black-winged Riba fan, neck collar, steamed pig, steamed duck, roasted pig, roast duck, liver roll, deer tail, seven-star elbow board, pine nuts, seeds, and small plates, have been removed from the singing and dancing music, and the communication is endless.

[male player B]

Stop eating. I've never even seen this way of eating.

[male player A]

Not only have you never seen it, but even your father has never seen it.

[male player B]

Why did you mention my father?

[male player A]

It's called a Manchu-Chinese banquet.

[male player B]

What is a Manchu-Chinese banquet?

[male player A]

Don't you understand?

[male player B]

I don't understand.

[male player A]

Don't say you don't understand, not even your father.

[male player B]

Here we go again!

[male player A]

The Manchu-Han banquet reached its peak during the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, especially during the emperor's six visits to the south.

[male player B]

Still a little old.

[male player A]

The so-called Manchu-Han banquet, that is, the Manchu-Qing box barbecue banquet, is the product of the combination of the banquet style of the Han nationality in the south of the Yangtze River and the catering folk custom of the Manchu nationality.

[male player B]

Don't tell me, we really haven't heard of it.

[male player A]

Don't say you haven't heard of it-

[male player B]

Even my father has never heard of it.

[male player A]

What did you say?

[male player B]

You have to say it if I don't say it.

[male player A]

What I just gave you is full.

[male player B]

All right!

[male player A]

I'll change it for you when I return it.

[male player B]

For what?

[male player A]

Go to Han Xi.

[male player B]

What is Han Xi?

[male player A]

Four dried, four fresh, four candied fruits, four cold cuts, three sweet bowls and four snacks.

[male player B]

Four dry?

[male player A]

Black melon seeds, white melon seeds, peanut dipping sauce, sweet almond.

[male player B]

Sixian?

[male player A]

Beishan Apple, Shenzhou Peach, Guilin Horseshoe, Guangdong Litchi.

[male player B]

Four candied fruits?

[male player A]

Qinghai orange cake, sweet-scented osmanthus eight treasures, rock sugar hawthorn, round meat melon strips.

[male player B]

Four cold cuts?

[male player A]

Whole lamb liver, roasted crab legs, boiled chicken, roasted ribs.

[male player B]

Three sweet bowls?

[male player A]

Lotus seed porridge, almond tea, steamed rice with sugar.

[male player B]

Four kinds of snacks?

[male player A]

Hibiscus cake, Lama cake, fried stew, fried dumplings.

[male player B]

Is this Han Xi?

[male player A]

What have you been up to recently? This is the beginning.

[male player B]

What else is behind?

[male player A]

It's called a rat shovel-

[male player B]

I know the big head is in the back!

[male player A]

You ate a lot of greasy food just now, so I gave you something refreshing before the China party and sent away all the greasy food just now. Let's start the China banquet.

[male player B]

What's the dish on the Korean table?

[male player A]

Steamed mutton.

[male player B]

Steamed whole lamb!

[male player A]

Steamed mutton, steamed bear's paw, steamed deer's tail, roast duck, roast chicken, roasted goose, braised salted duck, sauced chicken, bacon, pine flower, small belly, dried meat, sausage, assorted soup, smoked chicken, white belly, steamed eight-treasure pig, stuffed duck rice, canned pheasant, canned quail, assorted brine and braised chicken. Braised Monopterus albus, lobster sauce catfish, pot-cooked catfish, soft-shelled turtle, pot-cooked carp, fried carp, soft-fried tenderloin, soft-fried chicken, assorted casings, crispy oil rolls, fried mushrooms, fried preserved fish, fried fish slices and fried fish. Tang Er, Tang Er Ling Jiao, shredded yam, shredded peach, stir-fried scallop, shredded duck in brown sauce, braised Dan, steamed chicken, braised chicken, fried chicken, fried diced chicken and crispy chicken. Brine elbow flower, mixed paste, roasted pig's trotters, roasted mandarin ducks, roasted lilies, roasted apples, fermented lotus roots, glutinous rice, fried crabs, roasted tortoise shells, assorted Gexianmi, stone fish, hairtail, yellow croaker, spilled meat in sauce, red meat pot, white meat pot, fried crab pot and fried crab pot. Fried chicken head rice with sugar, fried shredded chicken, fried belly silk, assorted tofu, assorted diced meat, rotten shrimp, rotten crab, rotten fish, rotten fried fish slices, fried crab meat, wonderful crab meat, mixed crab meat, steamed pumpkin, stuffed pumpkin, wonderful towel gourd, stewed wax gourd, stewed chicken feet and stewed duck feet. Braised pork, stewed pork, pine meat, braised pork, barbecue, sauce meat, lotus leaf meat, yipin meat, cherry meat, horse tooth meat, sauce tofu meat, jar meat, canned meat, silver ingot meat, flour meat, red elbow, white elbow, crystal elbow, beeswax elbow, roasted elbow and roasted elbow strip.

[male player B]

Boy!

[male player A]

Does it taste good？

[male player B]

Delicious.

[male player A]

Do you want to eat?

[male player B]

Want to eat.

[male player A]

Do you like it or not?

[male player B]

Love to eat.

[male player A]

Go-

[male player B]

Let's eat.

[male player A]

I have no money.

[male player B]

To put it bluntly.

The following is omitted ...