I want to send a funny message to my friend every day, just hoping that she can be happy?

One day, 0 and 8, 6 and 9 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said, fat is fat. Why wear a belt! 6 without looking at 9, he said: Cool is cool, don't stand upside down!

Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a clear line: it is birds and animals that cross the border. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as birds and animals!

A couple went to register for marriage. "Have you had a premarital examination?" "Yes, his house and car are gone." "I'm going to the hospital." The young woman blushed and whispered, "Yes, it's a boy."

85. A village woman went to town for the first time and wanted to go to the toilet. She didn't meet for a long time, so she asked the policeman, Comrade, there is a public toilet in front. Where is the mother toilet?

When we arrived at the platform, the bus had already left. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! Then a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, Wukong, stop chasing.

The nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, so she went over and whispered to him, "Be careful of the liver!" " "The patient smiled and said," baby. "

I heard that you quarreled with your wife yesterday. How did it end? ""Of course she knelt down and begged me! " "no! How did she beg you? " "She said,' I won't hit you. "Come out from under the bed!" "

A rural woman went to a military hospital for a stool examination. She didn't know how much she wanted, so she made a big pot and went to see a doctor. Just as the doctor called the next one: "Hold it high", the village woman obediently raised the urinal over her head, and the soldier loudly replied "Here we are." ...

Everyone works together and has a working meal together. One day at noon, I ate spicy tofu. The man said, "Tofu is not enough." The woman said, "Then eat my tofu!" The man said, "Your tofu is delicious!"

9 1 A swimming coach is shopping at the mall. A beautiful lady greeted him. He looked intently and found that it was one of his students. He then said loudly, "You really didn't recognize you when you put on your clothes!"

A pair of flies and their mother are eating. The son frowned and asked his mother, "mom, why do we stand on the stool every day?" The stool is so dirty! " Mother said, "Don't say such unsanitary things while eating!" " "

93 Zhang Sheng has lunch with his favorite girl. Suddenly, the girl shouted "Zhang Lang" and Zhang Sheng fainted happily. When he woke up, he found half a cockroach in his bowl.

A beautiful young woman asked a fireman, "You must have worked hard to save me from danger, didn't you?" Fireman: "Yes, I beat off three firemen for this!" " "

A couple are walking in the street, talking about sexual harassment. Suddenly the man reached out and touched the woman's ass. M: Is this sexual harassment? Woman: Please! It's outside now! Man: Do you have to put your hand in?

The miser was on a business trip, afraid that others would steal the wine he had just ordered, so he wrote on the paper: I spat in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I vomited too!

I heard that you were dying of thirst in the desert. At this moment, a fairy floated in. The fairy gave you a glass of bright red juice to drink. You drank it all at once, delicious, have another drink. The fairy blushed and said, sorry to have to wait for next month!

There was a man who sold popsicles in the market for the first time. He was embarrassed to sell them. A man next to him was shouting: Popsicle seller, so he had to shout: Me too.

99 "Now start the training program, the first group kills chickens, the second group steals eggs, and I will cook porridge for you!" A veteran translator: "One group shoots, the other group drops bombs. Let me show you! "

100 maid a: "I am so poor that I have to say' yes, madam' every day; Yes, madam. Maid B: "I am even worse. I have to keep saying' no, sir' every day; No, sir. "

10 1 Let me ask you a question: Why didn't Japan set up comfort women after the war? A: Because the Japanese Self-Defense Force was established.

102 A woman complained to her neighbor: Your son actually called me an old sow. Neighbor replied: I'm really sorry. I often warn him that all appearances are not gold.

103 someone rode into the street, crossed an intersection and spread his arms. The traffic police exclaimed after seeing it: "Good palm!" Someone waved happily and replied, "Comrades have worked hard!" "

104 An old buddy lost his car. When he put the new car downstairs, he locked three locks and put a piece of paper: let you steal it! The next day, the car was not lost, and two locks and a piece of paper were added, which read: Let you ride!

105 west, Zhuge Liang played a song, and the sound lingered, listening to 150,000 Wei Jun outside the city. Zhuge Liang: "Thank you, please give me one or two tickets." In an instant,150,000 people escaped. ...

106 A Dai had a physical examination, and the nurse told him to have a urine test and a stool test. As a result, after a long time, the nurse wondered whether you would take the exam or not. A Dai: I've swallowed my urine, but it's a little difficult to urinate.

107:5 deeply loves 1, but is rejected when expressing love. 5 Roar: Why? What's all this for? 1 Shyly said: My mother said we couldn't find anyone with a beer belly.

108 Little Carp asked his mother: What did Dad do? Mother Fish said angrily: Hum! I went to court, and the chef who got a thousand knives invited me.

12 1 God said he could grant me a wish. I took out my globe and said it was too difficult. Let's change it. I took out your photo and said I want this person to look good. He pondered: I'd better bring a globe.

122 the magpie came, and my mother said it was a bird or a guest; The swallow came, and my mother said it was a good bird or a guest. The crow came, and the child asked, are you a guest? The crow cried, Yes, I am a hacker!

123 anonymous was driving a long-distance sports car, but the speed was only 25-30KM/H, and suddenly a traffic policeman jumped out and stopped her car; Miss is startled: Did I break the rules? Traffic Police: Please drive faster!

124 at the flag-raising ceremony, the headmaster made a thought report: "... I am the son of China people." The following students: "I am from China."

125 A mosquito stung his left arm and drank a lot. You were awakened by a sting. At the moment when you waved your right hand to hit the mosquito, the mosquito said to you, "Your blood is flowing in my body!" "

126 during the self-study class, the director of the academic affairs office came in and asked the monitor, "Help me find two people, I want class flowers", so the monitor organized the whole class to vote for two class flowers to find the director, and the director said, "Come with me to the academic affairs office, I want to spend flowers."

127 in junior high school math class, the teacher talked about equation transformation, rolled up his sleeves on the podium and shouted: Attention, students! I'm going to change! ……

128 senior high school chemistry experimental class is carrying out the experiment of replacing silver. A classmate shouted, "Teacher! There is really money coming out! " Then he said, "Teacher, why don't you sell money?"

129 A boy met a girl in his class on the way to take a shower and thought he should say hello, but there seemed to be nothing to say, so he popped out: Are there many people in the bathhouse?

130 One day, the greedy dog jumped on the table to look for food and found a roast chicken. When he was about to eat, the host suddenly shouted, If you dare to do anything to that chicken, I will do anything to you! So the puppy licked the chicken fart.

Teacher 13 1: "Please make sentences with cows!" Health: "A cow!" "good! Can you make another one? " "Another cow!"

132 The owner of the shoe store measured A's foot ... A was nearsighted, and when he saw the boss's bald head, he thought his knee was exposed, so he covered it with a long skirt-the boss shouted, "Oh! The fuse is blown again! "

133 myna can count. A person asked 1+ 1? Myna answers 2, 1+2? Myna answers 3, 1+3? Starling thinking The man is very arrogant: 4! Myna's surprise: Can you answer first?

Xiaoming went to the seaside 134. When he saw the sea, he couldn't help shouting: the sea! Mom! As soon as his voice fell, a huge wave hit his face. He was furious and scolded: Shit! It's T M D's stepmother!

135 wolf invasion, small animals set up death squads to fight. Mantis: I have two knives! Hedgehog: I'm covered in hidden weapons. The longicorn sings while swinging its tentacles: Hum! I have nunchakus! Nunchakus!

136 An armored soldier was sleeping by a tree when two lions suddenly jumped out. The male lion said to the female lion, honey, we have lunch again. The lioness replied, the canned food has lost its appetite again!

137 cat and mouse sketch: My name is Baiyun/I'm Heitu, I'm eleven/I'm fifteen, I'm her husband/I'm his mother, she can fly, she's a bat/he looks like a tiger, I'm a robot cat/I'm Mickey Mouse.

138 Bajie peeked at the spider essence taking a bath, wanted to see it naked, and asked Tang Priest for help. Tang Priest shouted, Look out! It thundered! It's raining to collect clothes! When Spider Spirit ran ashore, Bajie fainted: Master, I'll take you.

139 A lady went to take pictures. After the photo shoot, I'll get the auto-developed photos. After reading it, I exclaimed: Why do I look like a monkey? The woman in the back said coldly, that's mine. Yours has to wait.

140A: My brother's whole hand was swollen by mosquitoes! My uncle was bitten by a tiger bee, and his whole foot has swollen since then! C: My sister was stung by something and her whole stomach swelled up.

14 1 After driving Wukong away, the Tang priest met the monster again and had to read a spell to call Wukong back for help. Soon, a new voice came from the air: Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is not in service area, please redial later.