My mother-in-law, who refused to bring her baby, had to live in her daughter-in-law's house after she got sick. The woman refused to support her. Did she do something wrong?

The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a big problem in today's society, and many families are troubled by it. How to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also a problem that many people have been entangled in.

Some people say that distance produces beauty, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must stay away. Only in this way can the possibility of conflict be reduced. But sometimes this is not the case. At many critical moments, deliberately pulling the distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will cause many problems.

For example, many mothers-in-law are reluctant to help their sons and daughters-in-law take care of their children now, because their thoughts are no longer out of date, they no longer think that they have lived for their children all their lives, and they are afraid of problems in the process of taking care of their children, so they simply hide.

If the daughter-in-law really doesn't want her mother-in-law to take care of the children and doesn't need her mother-in-law's help, then this situation is happy, but many times, in fact, the younger generation really needs someone to help themselves. Under such circumstances, if the mother-in-law refuses blindly, it may cause resentment in the daughter-in-law's heart, and even produce some extreme thoughts: "If you don't help me when I need your help, then you can't expect me to take care of you when you are old."

Seriously, my daughter-in-law can understand this idea. Working mothers know that the time when they have just given birth and have to go to work is the darkest moment in their lives. At this time, if an old man helps them, they don't need much, just give them a hand, and they can relax themselves a lot.

But, ah, I can understand the thoughts of these mothers-in-law. Today's women are not the women they used to be. They don't want to be around their children all their lives. Especially now, even if many old people take pains to help their children with their children, it may not have a good result in the end. There is nothing wrong with them wanting to hide.

Therefore, this question is to grasp a degree. Mother-in-law should help children when they need help, whether it is money or contribution, and children should be considerate when they need help. Don't take it for granted that parents help their children.

If everyone can do this, I believe there will be fewer contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in this world, and there will be no such disharmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as Ms. Luo, the protagonist in our story.

02

Ms. Luo is almost forty years old this year, and her children are in high school, which is the middle-aged stage where there are old people and young people, and her work is extremely busy. Recently, she was particularly upset, because her mother-in-law and her husband had a contradiction, which made her already exhausted heart more painful.

The contradiction between Ms. Luo and her mother-in-law first arose when giving birth to a child. Mother-in-law is a very reasonable old man. After she got married, she didn't cause much trouble to the young couple. She and her wife lived happily. In the past, Ms. Luo thought it was quite good, but she found it wrong after giving birth to a child.

Ms. Luo is married far away and her parents are not around. It is impossible for parents to take care of her for a long time after giving birth, so Ms. Luo hopes that her mother-in-law can help herself. However, my mother-in-law refused: "I think, let's not get involved in this matter." After all, many mother-in-law relationships are caused by children's problems. Children, it is better to bring it yourself. "

Hearing this, Ms. Luo felt that she was choked up and had nothing to say. My mother-in-law is right, and she understands these truths. However, how to bring it by herself is the most realistic problem.

In order to make Ms. Luo happy, her husband asked for a new moon. The cost of more than 10 thousand a month makes Ms. Luo very upset. After all, both husband and wife are working-class, and there are still many places to spend money in the future.

Ms. Luo asked her husband if the money could help her mother-in-law. Her husband faltered and said, "It's not easy for my parents to raise me so much. Don't give them any more trouble." Upon hearing this, Ms. Luo knew that her husband had been brainwashed by her parents and simply gave up.

After giving birth, my parents-in-law came to see it several times, carrying a few small clothes and a few pounds of eggs, which was not as generous as their colleagues and friends.

It's time for the new moon, and my parents-in-law actually signed up for a tour group to go out to play. Obviously, they are afraid that Ms. Luo will ask them to help.

Ms. Luo and her husband are anxious to take care of their children, and novice parents have little experience. In addition, children often suffer from colic, so that they can't sleep well night after night and almost collapse.

In such days, Ms. Luo's resentment is growing. She doesn't understand why other people's mother-in-law cares so much about her children, but her mother-in-law is so cruel, does not pay, does not contribute, and looks at herself and her husband exhausted. Ms. Luo feels that she is really pitiful and her hatred for her mother-in-law is growing day by day.

03

In a blink of an eye, Ms. Luo's maternity leave arrived, and she always felt that the nanny was not at ease. She licked her face again and asked if she could help her with the children. But her mother-in-law said that she was in poor health, too tired to take care of the children, and her blood pressure was easy to be high. Forget it.

Such an excuse made Ms. Luo completely give up. She spent a lot of money to hire a nanny, which made her life extremely tense. Even so, there will still be situations such as nanny taking leave and children getting sick. She and her husband take turns taking time off to accompany them, and the unit leaders have opinions on them.

Compared with their hectic schedule, my mother-in-law's life is really nourishing. She dances square dance, sings and travels with friends every day. Ms. Luo looked at the photos sent by her mother-in-law every day so chic that resentment in her heart grew like weeds.

Finally, at a dinner party with her mother-in-law, Ms. Luo couldn't help saying, "There are many old people around us who need the care of their children when they are sick, but they have never considered what they have done for their children."

When my husband heard this, his face became ugly, but my mother-in-law said with a straight face: "I also think these old people have problems. Unlike us, we have already thought about it. We will go to a nursing home when we are old, and we won't give you any trouble. You just have to live your own lives. "

Ms. Luo was choked by her mother-in-law's words and secretly said, "Well, since you won't help me when I need help most, don't expect me to provide for your old age in the future."

What Ms. Luo didn't expect was that when she got home, she didn't say anything, but her husband said to her unhappily, "What did you say today? Who says the elderly must take care of our children? Compared with those rural parents around me, we still have to pay money. I think my parents are really nice. "

Ms. Luo was angered by her husband's words. She doesn't understand. She hopes her in-laws who can help her can help her. What's the matter? It is inevitable that my husband will be too chilling.

04

Things in life, really can't be too absolute. Ms. Luo's mother-in-law probably never imagined that one year after her father-in-law died, she would suddenly fall into the wind, thinking that she could continue to be chic in her later years, and only then did she know what powerlessness meant.

In order to take care of her mother-in-law, her husband found a nanny, but the nanny who serves the elderly is hard to find and the price is high. Her mother-in-law came crying to her husband from time to time, saying that it was not good for a nanny, but it was not like that.

Hearing this, my husband was particularly sad, so he came weakly to discuss with Ms. Luo: "There is no one around, and I am afraid that my mother will be abused by the nanny. What do you think ... "

Before her husband finished, Ms. Luo immediately refused: "At that time, she was not afraid that her child was abused by the nanny. Now you shouldn't be afraid of her being abused by the nanny. People's hearts are all meat. I hope you don't forget what she did to us in those years. "

My husband said please, "This is my mother after all, and I still hope you can forget your previous unhappiness.". Do you think so? " Ms. Luo sneered: "Impossible."

From that day on, Ms. Luo will visit her mother-in-law occasionally, but that means going home empty-handed and sitting for a few minutes. She is telling her mother-in-law with actions: "You said that you didn't help me at that time, and you don't need my care when you are old. I hope you keep your promise. "

My mother-in-law looked at Ms. Luo with some hesitation, but one night she couldn't help but say to her, "Do you think I can come to your place?" Ms. Luo smiled coldly: "Mom, you said you didn't need my care, so you won't help me. What's the matter, don't you want to keep your promise? "

My mother-in-law suddenly flew into a rage. She cursed: "You vicious woman, I want my son to divorce you." Ms. Luo picked up her bag and stood up and said, "You are selfish and refuse to help me, and now you want to ruin your son's marriage, don't you?" All right, suit yourself. "

After going out, Ms. Luo suddenly cried. Although she retaliated against her mother-in-law, she was not happy at all. In her education, it is proper to be filial to the elderly. However, what her mother-in-law did to herself really made her uneasy.

Ms. Luo thought for a long time and felt that she might not be able to reconcile with her mother-in-law in her life. So she dried her tears and went home, telling her husband what happened today, and said clearly: "You can honor your mother or donate money. I won't get in your way. After all, she gave birth to you and raised you, but don't ask me to be with you. I can't do it. "

Husband looked at Ms. Luo. She looked determined and said nothing more. From that day on, Ms. Luo never went to her mother-in-law's house again, and her husband went to live every once in a while, and she never asked.

Ms. Luo feels that she has done her best.

05

After listening to Ms. Luo's story, I sympathize with her. After all, she also came from that stage and understood how desperate a woman would be when no one helped her with her children. I don't think what she did was wrong. No one can really treat herself like a mother-in-law, but she can still have no regrets. It is better to make it clear as it is now than to just live together to produce greater contradictions.

Moreover, like some women, she did not stop her husband from going because she didn't want to be with her mother-in-law. She made it clear that she didn't interfere with her husband's decision. I think she is a good woman, kind and persistent. After all, her mother-in-law gave birth to her husband, and he has the obligation to support her, but as a daughter-in-law, Ms. Luo has no position to do it.

For this matter, I think the elderly really have no obligation to take care of their grandchildren, but they should not do too much. They should make strong efforts, have the money to pay, give some help appropriately, and don't hurt their children's hearts. Many times, money really can't solve all problems. People still have to think more about others and leave a way out for themselves.

Seriously, if Ms. Luo's mother-in-law was willing to give her a little help, even if it was not long-term, but short-lived, at some key nodes, Ms. Luo might not be so determined today.

Home is not a place of reason, but a place of love. We need to accumulate love little by little in our daily life in order to harvest love at critical moments. Like Ms. Luo's mother-in-law, the bitter fruit she planted is really worth tasting.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is really the key You treat me better, and I treat you better. We don't need to be so close, but at least we can maintain intimacy and dependence for a lifetime. Never double-label, you refuse to give help when the other party needs it, but you ask the other party to be selfless when you need it. In this way, you can't get real happiness.

Finally, I still hope that all families in the world can help each other more, take less, be more warm and less indifferent.