Please provide some new and humorous text messages between brothers.

April Fool's Day text message

Urgent reminder: There may be thunder and lightning in the near future. When you go out, please put your mobile phone on your head and plug in the charger and drag it behind you. Remember to protect yourself from lightning!

Secret tips for making free calls on your mobile phone: When there is an incoming call, press 54sg and then turn off before the second ring. The call will be free at this time.

This is a well-designed text message. Turn your phone upside down and you will see wonderful patterns... Is it fun to turn your phone upside down?

According to research from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States, soaking your phone in water for 1 minute before talking can completely avoid the radiation of electromagnetic waves to the human brain. Remember!

Dear user: Hello! Because your mobile phone has an ugly appearance and outdated style, which has seriously affected the appearance of the city and hindered the development of mobile communication services, our station has decided to send a signal to destroy the mobile phone in 10 minutes!

If you receive this message, it proves that your phone is infected with a virus. Please take out the phone card immediately and clean it with gasoline.

April Fool’s Day text messages to harass people

2. Text messages about idiots

Test you: What should you do if all the pigs in the world die overnight? ? (Name a song) "At least I still have you"!

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a fool. He was so stupid that no matter what question he was asked, he would just shake his head or answer "no". Have you heard of this story?

Those who make furniture are wood, those who understand poetry are scholars, what everyone thinks about is money, what is being cultivated is talent, what women want is body, those who send messages are geniuses, and those who are reading text messages are idiots. !

You are so handsome and cool that it is beyond comparison. You hold the pot lid on your head and carry cabbage in your hands. You always think that you are the Invincible of the East, but in fact you are the second generation fool!

To test your Mandarin, please read the following poem aloud: dark stone green, dark carnation, dark stone through spring green, dark stone through spring bamboo.

This is a poem by Li Bai, please read it aloud: The bedroom is spring green, I hold the plum blossoms and smell the flowers, I can only win the first place, I invite you to sleep in the bedroom, the bedroom knows the spring green.

April Fool's Day text messages

3. Text messages about health

Tips for self-testing vital capacity: After farting, lower your head and inhale sharply, and then observe your surroundings Does anyone smell a strange smell? If so, you need to strengthen your training according to this method; if not, it proves that you are a superman!

Report: Your sleeping position is incorrect at this time. For your health, please get up and go back to sleep...Mobile phone real-time monitoring system.

Ah! You are so graceful and charming, no wonder everyone says you are... bloated!

Are you working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and to take care of your health. But you always say meaningfully: If I don’t roll a few more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in the winter?

There are some things I should let you know! The sky is used to bring wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove the greatness of mankind; and you are used to stew vermicelli.

Don’t get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a wine glass and shouting: Are you a brother? It was my brother who did it!

I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just so that one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you. If I can’t smash you, it will be in vain. alive.

If autumn goes away, I will wait for you in the snow; if the world goes away, I will love you in heaven; if I go away, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are pretty good!

I know you care about hygiene. You wash your hands every time you go to the toilet, and wash them very carefully. Suddenly you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You replied: I brought paper this time!

It is a very happy thing to miss you; it is a very happy thing to see you; loving you is what I will always do; keeping you in my heart is what I have always done ;However, lying to you happened just now.

I will pray to the Buddha every day for a rose that will bloom for a long time. When there are nine hundred and ninety-nine roses, I will give them to you and say emotionally: You little boy, I don’t believe that the bees you attract will not sting you. you!

According to reports: A few days ago, Iraqi militants hung your photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of US soldiers to vomit and die. After investigating and collecting evidence, the United Nations confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction. You should run away.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you Saibei snow. Sorry, the cassette is gone.

When you wake up today, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and a suicide note next to you: I struggled all night, and your shame makes me shameless in this world! Lord forgive him! I committed suicide.

Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You are wearing a plaid vest and walking slowly with a detached and comfortable look. You are so cute. I don’t know how you could beat the rabbit back then. ?

You go! Find someone worthy of your love... I don't know you well enough. I know that some things cannot be forced and some distances cannot be crossed. Just like yesterday, I really couldn't believe that you left with someone just for a bone.

If you are a woman who can see the sun and the moon, your eyes will have severe astigmatism

It’s okay! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! fine! I told you it was okay and you still pressed your butt!

A cricket made a bet with a pig: If I jump into the grass, you can’t see me. The pig said: Should I be able to see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pigs are watching, the pigs are watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching? !

You are an intern in a mental hospital. Suddenly a mentally ill patient is chasing you with a kitchen knife. You turn around and run until you reach a dead end. Thinking that this is the end, the patient says: Here you go. Knife, it’s your turn to chase me

The wolf is coming and the pig’s nest is in chaos. Mother Pig arranges: The big pig blocks the door! Erzhu, go block the window! When she saw the little pig, the mother pig got angry and shouted: Third child, stop reading the text messages! You have a lot of meat, go out and lure the wolf away

When you are alone and empty, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can use a knife to cut it, peel it, chop it, and at the same time you can vent yourself and shout loudly: I kill the pen, I kill the pen, I kill the pen

The sky is so clear and the sunshine is so It was bright and the sea was so vast. You were standing on the blue seaside and I poked you with a stick. Hey, this little bastard has a pretty hard shell!

Cry or be stupid, are your happy days gone? I warned you not to be greedy and sleepy, but you just didn’t listen. Now you should remember that pigs will be slaughtered when they reach a certain size.

In the military training under the tree that year, the instructor said to the students: The first row is counting. You looked at the instructor in surprise, and the instructor said loudly again: Counting! So, you reluctantly I turned around and hugged the tree!

Your voice came from the valley. I looked down and found you at the corner of the mountain. It was you! It's really you! You were with an old man. I ran over excitedly and said, "Master, please borrow the donkey." I said, "Every time I think of you, the stars will shed a tear. This is how the sea is formed." You said: You fart every time you miss me. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

The twilight is as thick as wine, the autumn wind blows gently on the willows, the chrysanthemums have faded for a long time, where have you been running around, the weather has been cold for a long time, have you put on any clothes, the city won’t let dog owners beat you, don’t you have peace? Don’t worry about me all the time when you call me!

Poor mobile phone users, it’s a pity that you contracted the April Fool’s Day bacteria because you confirmed this text message. Now the bacteria are uniformly dressed and lined up neatly, and they are passing through your body at a vigorous pace...

The moment I made up my mind to leave, you were crying helplessly and in heart-rending pain behind me. Let me understand in an instant how much I love you. I turned around suddenly and cried and hugged you tightly: I won’t sell this pig!

It is said that there are gold arrows, iron arrows, and bronze arrows, but you have to learn silver arrows! It is said that there are eighteen kinds of martial arts and 360 moves, but you wanted to learn Drunken Arrow, so soon you appeared in the world: Drunken Silver Arrow!

When I saw you for the first time, I felt like I had known you for a long time. , I have never said such a sure thing, you may not believe it, but it is true, you really look like my... lost pig!

God asked me to grant one of my wishes. I said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to become more beautiful. He thought for a moment and said: Let me take a look at the globe.

Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar does; not every pig can receive text messages, but you I did it

In the tortoise and the hare race, the pig is the judge. Do you think the tortoise runs faster or the hare runs faster?

You are about to travel to another place. A sincere friend will see you off. The biting cold wind cannot stop our friendship. I hold your hand and say: reform well and strive for a commutation of your sentence

Listen! I want to chase you! I will recognize you! You are the one I have been looking for all this time! I will definitely seize this opportunity! I must chase you till the end! Dead fly!

My dear, I start to miss you again, and my love for you is growing tremendously every day, because someone told me: The price of pork has increased, and you can sell it at a good price!

English tongue twister test: Repeat peace-war-found three times quickly. Those who are fluent and make no mistakes prove their excellent oral English.

In those days, we walked quietly on the path in our hometown, and you lowered your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Hey, you are beautiful and clean! He also praised me: What a good boy, he came out to herd pigs at such a young age!

Oh! It's snowing! I really want to turn into a snowflake and fly into your arms. I flew into your neck, into your cuffs, into your... why didn't you zip it up!

If a star falls and hits your head tonight, please don’t worry. This is a gift I asked the gods to give you. From now on, you will live a carefree and happy life. Because - stupid.

Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I really want to stay by your side quietly. I know you never take care of yourself. Whenever I leave, you jump out of the pigpen!

Someone passed by the cemetery and heard the sound of knocking. When he saw a person falling down the tree, he felt relieved and asked: What are you doing? Answer: They carved my tombstone wrong. They need to correct it!

Dear, do you know? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. The New Year is about to come, but your body is worrying... Who doesn't want to kill a few more pounds of pigs?

Some people say you are a pig! I criticized him seriously! How can this be? How can one say what a person is based on what he or she looks like?

No matter how hot or cold the weather is, I always miss you in the distance. I would like to raise a homing pigeon and let it fly to you every day, even if all it can do is a simple movement: on your head Take a shit!

Yesterday, someone called you a civet behind your back and wanted to report you and put you in isolation. I fought with them: Damn it, you can’t say what someone is just because they look like you. Say yes!

Please stop reading and turn off your phone. There is really nothing interesting to see. Please, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Well, this is what you asked for, you are a pig!

Jade Emperor: Now the court in heaven is open to hear the case of Erlang Shen’s roaring dog raping Chang’e’s Jade Rabbit, and the defendant is called! Hey! Roaring Sky Dog! Calling you! Still reading text messages! Still giggling

There will be a meteor shower tonight, and I heard that a big pig will fly across the sky. It's a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine, there are so many people watching you fly!

You use white clouds to make clothes, borrow a pair of wings from a bird, fly in front of me like an arrow, tell me - this is what a birdman looks like!

A drop of water is small in the ocean, but great in the desert; a red-crowned crane is small among the cranes, but great among the chickens; you are small among the crowd, but great in the pigsty!

Do you know that I met a mentally retarded person yesterday? I have never seen such a stupid person before? As for how stupid he is? Let me tell you this, he may have a lower IQ than you!

I don’t care for my long hair, don’t wash my dirty clothes, and have a few messy beards. I look neither male nor female, and I don’t get up until noon. I never want to win the lottery. who? That’s you!

Please touch your red and tender face first, and then your belly! good! This concludes this pig raising knowledge lecture, see you tomorrow!

I vomit when I drink too much, cry when I am sad, climb into trees when driving, and can’t move even when I see a beautiful girl. I always feel that I have little income, and my relationship never progresses!

( ! ) Ordinary butt (__!__) Fat butt (!) Tight butt (_._) Flat butt (_*_) Inflamed butt

The sun is pregnant and plays a song.

Hee hee...(the moon is causing trouble)!

Cucumber cried out for love, and Eggplant comforted her: love is not just sweetness and intoxication, but also heartbreak and tears. well! Who made you fall in love with onions?

The teacher said: Looking for two people, I want the class beauty. So we voted for class beauties, held a class, and selected the two most beautiful girls. The teacher said: Go to the Academic Affairs Office and move the flowers!

A mosquito flew onto the sleeping baby’s butt. The father drove the mosquito away and applied toilet water on it. The baby woke up and shouted: Mom, a mosquito just peed on my butt!

Men are born guilty and should not be afraid of being tired when doing things. Of course you pay for dates and sweet words must be memorized. Whatever mistakes you make are your fault.

A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife shouted: My dear, don’t be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! After hearing this, the man jumped down. The policeman said: You really shouldn’t threaten him like this!

The glutinous rice and the steamed stuffed buns lost the fight. I was very dissatisfied when I saw the siomai on the street and hit me immediately. When I saw the siomai, I immediately took off my coat and said angrily that I was actually an undercover agent!

< p>You are the rose in my heart, but it is a pity that it is withered; you are the moon in the sky, but it is covered by the clouds; you are Chang'e who descended to earth, but it is a pity that she touched the ground face first.

Grandma and granddaughter are in the consulting room . "Take off your clothes," the doctor said to the pretty girl. No, doctor, the old lady said: I am a patient. Yeah? Then stick out your tongue.

People get married because of lack of judgment; people get divorced because of lack of endurance; people remarry because of lack of memory.

Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei, your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang; my love is deeper than Lu Zhishen, my love is longer than Guan Yunchang, but my promise is empty than Sun Wukong.

An old lady loved to play mahjong during her lifetime. After her death, her children suggested that she send mahjong to be buried with her, but one woman was worried: What if she calls us if there are not enough people?

When a beautiful woman on the street waves her hand, she also takes a look at the street lamp; when a beautiful woman on the street waves her hand twice, people in high-rise buildings want to kiss her; when a beautiful woman on the street waves her hand three times, the earth brakes and moves back.

A couple gave birth to eight children, namely osmanthus, camellia, plum blossom, chrysanthemum, yellow flower, grass flower, wild flower, and the last one was called No Money Flower.

In the colorful world, the flirtatious men deceive people and change their hearts when they achieve their goals. If you don’t want to be sad anymore, you have to give up on the man completely!

You rush into a certain place angrily unit, shouted: Is this the Animal Protection Association? Staff: Yes, who bullied you?

There was a boy in the class who was known as a sissy. Once in an art class, the teacher asked him to make a clay figurine. He shouted: I want to be a man! My deskmate answered from the side: Alas, you finally figured it out.

In the green mountains and buildings outside the mountains, I don’t worry if you ignore me. There are beauties everywhere in the world, and they will take me in at any time.

In freshman year, rabbits don’t eat grass lying on the side; In the sophomore year, a good horse will not turn back to eat grass; in the junior year, there will be no fragrant grass anywhere in the world; in the senior year, the strong wind will know the strong grass.

Chasing you, chasing you, and me chasing you, is like a hunter chasing a fox; kissing you, kissing you, and me kissing you, is like an old man nibbling corn.

Bajie met Yue Lao and asked: Damn! Yue Lao! Why were I separated from Gao Jia Yulan? Yue Lao said: She is a human and you are a demon. I am afraid that your child will be born as a transvestite

Those who go home after get off work are poor people, those who come home at 9 o'clock are drunkards, and those who come home at 11 o'clock are perverts. Ghost, those who go home at 2-3 o'clock are gamblers, those who don't go home are wild ghosts!

The handsome guy is the handsome guy, the one who responds to everything is the big brother, the taxi driver is the brother, and the one who reads text messages is PIG.

Some people say that a woman is like a book, so what kind of book does a fat woman look like? [Bound volume]

Xiao Ming always sleeps during class, and the teacher criticizes him: Can you please stop sleeping! ? Xiao Ming replied: No, because I am a very poor student.

The living conditions of modern people: go to work today, sleep like yesterday, and spend money tomorrow.

If a woman wants to please herself, she will look good, and if a man wants to please himself, he will be poor. If both parties want to please each other, they must be a frog and a dinosaur.

A cool poem about falling in love in college: Loneliness Ah loneliness, if you don’t fall in love in loneliness, you will become perverted in loneliness.

Beauty after beauty, there are so many beauties. If you treat beautiful women, you will not be able to get a wife.

A fat lady often boasted about her good figure and insisted on complimenting her.

Lao Zhai said: "It's too plump. How could you apply Feng Yun Dan to your waist!"

I don’t know what the reason is that makes me miss you so much. Thousands of words come together into four words: Pay me back quickly!

If one day I become a gangster, please tell others that I was once innocent!

Since ancient times, a mathematical equation has been true (A=B, B=C), so A=C, you=animal, animal=pig, so you=pig!

God knew that you were thirsty and created water. God knew that you were hungry and created rice. God knew that you didn’t have a lovely friend, so he created me. However, God also knows that there are no fools in this world. By the way, God knows that you are hungry and created rice. created you.

Someone said to me: "You are as smart as a pig." I became furious after hearing this! ! I know you! ! Such an insult! I'm so sorry for the pig! ! ! !

Instructions for jumping off the building: Go to the sixth floor to leave a last message; go to the fifth floor if you want to be disabled; go to the fourth floor if you want to be hospitalized; go to the third floor only to scare people; go to the second floor to play martial arts; go to the first floor to watch the fun.

I have always had a soft spot for you, your face appears in front of my eyes all the time! But I was too poor to hope for it, but now I have money! You can say loudly: Boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

One river has spring water, another river has waves, and every mountain is higher than the other. Send a message to the idiot. The idiot must take out his cell phone. When he takes out his phone and looks down, he realizes that he is a fool!

It’s not surprising that people can fall in love; it’s not surprising that cows can eat green grass; it’s amazing that pigs can press mobile phones, and pigs are pigs. Still click! What a big stupid pig!

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a fool. He was so stupid that when people asked him questions, he would only answer "no". Have you heard of this story?

The first line: Look at the back to scare away thousands of troops, the second line: Turn your head to scare away all the princes. Hengpi: Oh my god!

Those who make furniture are wood, those who understand poetry are scholars, what everyone thinks about is money, what is being cultivated is talent, what women want is body, those who send messages are geniuses, and those who are reading text messages are idiots. .

When the horse and the pig met the tiger, they turned around and ran away. The pig ran slowly, and the horse shouted: "Stupid pig! How can you run fast with a cell phone in your hand! Throw it away!

If you receive this message, it proves that your phone is infected with a virus. Please take out the phone card immediately and clean it with gasoline.

Brain teaser: A pig was hit by a car while crossing the road. Why? Well, pigs can't make sharp turns.

The horse has four legs. The sea is full of water. The idiot looking at the phone is grinning! I love you so much that I can’t help myself. I’m crazy about you and can’t sleep all night. You always make my heart beat. I just want to say one thing to you, I love you------football.

Because of you. For using text messages many times, this SMS center has decided to reward you with a free text message - you have seen it, are you satisfied?

The May Day holiday is coming, for the sake of the city's appearance, please take a holiday. Please stay at home during this period, and don’t go out to scare others.

You look more and more like a pig.

< p>Look over here, look over, look over, look over!

If you see a bone, you will laugh. If you are anxious, you will jump over the wall and scream at the top of your lungs. You're the best housekeeper!

I dreamed last night that you and I were walking on the beach. Suddenly a water monster jumped out and grabbed you and threw you away just as it wanted to eat. I asked it why it didn't eat. You, it replied: "I'm afraid of getting sick."

Sentiment is stupid, ruthlessness is the most handsome, infatuation is stupid, ruthlessness is the coolest.

Why are you so ignorant? The text message is here, why do you still want to go to the zoo to see bears?

It doesn’t take a day to freeze, and it doesn’t take a day to salivate!

Are your ears itchy? That means I'm thinking about you. Are your eyes itchy? That means I want to see you. Are your mouth itchy? That means I want to kiss you. Is your body itchy? That means... Stop thinking about it, it's almost over. If you have lice, go take a shower

Today is your birthday. All women's toilets and bathrooms are open to you for free. Welcome!

My friend and I had one yesterday! Bet, I said: There is no one stupider than a pig in the world. In the end, I lost. It turns out it’s all your fault.

Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible. Let me bite you hard, my dear - braised pork.

There is a kind of tacit understanding called tacit understanding, there is a kind of feeling called wonderful, there is a kind of happiness called having you by your side, there is a kind of longing called looking forward to seeing you, and there is a fool who will read the text message to the end.

I wish you good health and all your teeth! Bon voyage, but disappeared halfway! Walking well all the way, but falling down halfway! Happy every day, often abnormal! Always smile and deserve to die!

I saw you wandering around the supermarket that day. You put your hand into the machine that can check the price, and the result shows: Pig's trotters are 8 yuan. You think there is something wrong with the machine, so you stick your head in. I almost died laughing when I saw it: Pig's head is 18 yuan!

It’s strange, strange, really strange. Seven turtles are dancing on the disco, six lions are playing chess, five monkeys are eating pears, four donkeys are chasing Shu Qi, three mice are doing level 3, and two crabs are doing Tai Chi. , a little pig reads information!

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at -20°C. The penguin died the next day, but the pig was fine. Why? You don’t know? By the way, the pig doesn’t know either!

p>

Are you Alian? ! Let me do the math: three inches of golden lotus, four inches of anemone, five inches of bronze lotus, six inches of iron lotus - wow, one foot and two inches is Ah Lian!

Did you know? I dreamed of you last night. We were walking by the river, clinging to each other. You looked down into my eyes and said three words affectionately: woof woof woof.

Marriage is a mistake, divorce is enlightenment, remarriage is a mistake, remarriage is stubbornness, having children is a big mistake, and living alone does not delay anything.

The people who make furniture are wood, the people who understand poetry are scholars, the people who think about money are the people who read the news, they are idiots.

When Tang Seng took his three apprentices to take a break, Tang Seng looked at Zhu Bajie and said angrily: "You pig head, you actually have time to read text messages!"

Please leave! Go to the nearest telephone pole and shout loudly to the wild advertisement on it, "My disease can be cured."

I had a dream last night. I dreamed that you fell into a smelly cesspit. After you climbed up, you He actually said: After all, we have lived in a good era, and even the cesspools are fragrant.

Deleting the address book. All information will be lost. Please wait...

I will give you the heaviest gift since the beginning of the New Year. You will definitely eat a pound. , you need to eat more. If you feel the portion is not enough, please help yourself.

Killing time with short messages is called letter life, sending and receiving at the same time is letter communication, sending and receiving frantically is letter climax, only receiving but not sending is letter indifference, sending to the wrong person is letter harassment, and unsuccessful sending and receiving It’s letter dysfunction!

Toilet Couplet: Top: With feet on both sides of the Yellow River, holding confidential documents in hand, Bottom: Machine gun fire in front and artillery fire from behind. Horizontal comment: Cool

A lunatic is lying on the bed singing, singing Then he turned over and continued singing. The doctor asked him: Just sing, why are you turning over? The lunatic said: Fool, after singing side A, of course I will sing side B!

First Love is a brand new version; Rekindling an Old Love is a refurbished version; Living together before marriage is a trial version; Wedding Night is a genuine version; The Beauty of the Golden House is a collector's version; Falling in Love with a Widow is a revised version; Seducing a Wife is a pirated version. .

A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over and asked: What happened? Drunk man: I don’t know, I just arrived.

In the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her: Don’t you know I’m pregnant? The man said nervously: The child is not mine!

Drink strong tea until it is tasteless. If you get drunk, you never want to wake up. Pig's trotters should have thick skin and lots of meat. Hey, the one with the mobile phone is good!

Go home: fill your stomach, hand over the check, kiss your wife, tease the children; go out: look in the mirror, make an appointment with a woman, use your brain, and pretend to be a grandchild.

One day a drunk man took a taxi home after drinking, stopped a 110 patrol car, and shouted: Even if you pay one yuan per kilometer, there is no need to write in such a big word! ! !