Are there any funny jokes?

1. The cat greets the cow. The cow made fun of the cat and said, you have a beard so young! The cat was very angry and said, why don't you wear a bra when you are so old?

2. Why are you such a child? My uncle is here, how can you think of going to the zoo to see the bears? !

3. When you look at beautiful women in the street, if you look higher, you will appreciate them; if you look lower, you will be hooligans.

4. I remember one day shortly after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a short message: "Let's break up!" Before I could feel sad, my girlfriend sent another message: "Sorry, it was sent wrong." You can be completely sad now ...

5. Sit on your back tonight, get up early tomorrow, lie prone tomorrow, stay up the day after tomorrow ... Exercise, sometimes it's as simple as that.

6. I know I'm not a handsome guy, but someone once said that my left nostril was idolized when they looked at my full moon photos.

7. Before eating peanuts, a monkey should put it in his ass before taking it out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core couldn't be pulled out. The monkey was scared. Now it must be measured before eating.

8. I'm in a bad mood today. I only have four words to say. Including this sentence and the previous two sentences. That's all I said ...

9. Don't call your child a rabbit, because from a genetic point of view, it's not good for parents.

1. Steamed bread is everything. You can eat it when you are hungry. If you want to eat cakes, pat the steamed bread flat; If you want to eat noodles, comb the steamed bread with a comb; If you want to eat hamburgers, cut the steamed bread and eat it with vegetables ...

11. When a man says inner beauty, he means inside the bra, not inside.

12. However, I saw the so-called contemporary women's mate selection standard in the book: having a car and a house, and both parents are dead. Depressed. Then I wrote down the imaginary criteria for choosing a wife: the family wealth is over 1 million, the beauty is the best in the world, the virtuous and gentle and sexy, and my father-in-law has terminal cancer ... < P > 13. My father asked me what I want in life. I answered money and beauty, and my father hit me in the face fiercely; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.

14. Except for one item, all the other columns are well filled. The column of "relationship" should be filled with "mother-in-law" instead of "nervous".

15. I just found out that the way to attract a man is to keep him from getting it; The way to attract a woman is just the opposite, that is, to keep her satisfied.

16. Dad hit me twice today, the first time because he saw my two-point report card, and the second time because the report card was from his childhood.

17. My principle is: I won't commit crimes unless people commit crimes against me; If people attack me, I will be angry!

18, buddy, to tell the truth, we really must not drink when driving, burp ……, think about it, if we hit a telephone pole, this wine will spill, burp … what a pity!

19. A young lady walks at night, and a robber in Lu Yu says, "Give me the money!" The young lady replied, "No, you just force me, and I won't give it!" " The robber looked at the young lady carefully and said, "You think it's beautiful!"

2. If happiness is floating clouds, if pain is like stars. Then my life is really cloudless in Wan Li, sky full of stars ... < P > 21. Men, the upper body is self-cultivation, and the lower body is the essence; Women, the upper body is the bait, and the lower body is the trap.

22. On Valentine's Day, I turned around and found the phone number of a girl I secretly loved in middle school, and sent her a short message: If there is only one bowl of porridge, you should drink half of it first, and I'll put the remaining half in my arms to keep you warm ... A few minutes later, she replied with a short message: Who introduced you? 4 at a time, 7 for the night.

23. I've been in a bad mood today. Last night's short message let me know that the girl I had a crush on had fallen, and even told me once that she was 4 ... At that time, I was very sad, and I rummaged through my wallet while I was sad: so I was even sadder, and I didn't even have the capital to accompany her to fall once ...

24. Being single is very painful, and being single for a long time is even more painful. I saw a sow the other day.

26. Two drunks were driving at a gallop. A: "Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead. " B: "What? Aren't you driving? "

27. After dinner, I smoked on the balcony and enjoyed it. Suddenly, I saw a flash of light in the night sky, and I was excited: a meteor! So I made a wish at once ... I made six or seven wishes, opened my eyes, and threw the cigarette out of the balcony. Suddenly I heard a girl's voice downstairs: "Wow! Meteor! Make a wish quickly ... "

28. Foreigners who have learned some Mandarin. Say hello to the female secretary in the morning. "How are you?" The young lady stared at him. He was stunned and immediately said to her, "Hello, Mom!" "

29. A farmer's daughter was so ugly that he had to let her go to the cornfield as a scarecrow to scare crows. As a result, she not only scared away the crows, but even three crows were so scared that they sent some corn back.