How to be an authoritative parent with high emotional intelligence

How to be an authoritative parent with high emotional intelligence

How to be an authoritative parent with high emotional intelligence and educate children has always been a rare problem. Authoritative parents try their best to create a good growth environment and determine clear restrictions. Let's see how to be an authoritative parent with high emotional intelligence.

How to be an authoritative parent with high emotional intelligence and give constructive care to children?

Taking care of children and doting on them are two completely different things. Constructive concern is to provide a good emotional environment for children and support them in a way that children can admit and accept. This concern goes far beyond getting good grades or holding the baby at night. It requires parents to actively participate in their children's emotional life, play games with their children and participate in some activities of their children.

Please note the following points:

1, praise the child's proper behavior. This kind of praise should be accurate, sincere and specific, and avoid excessive use of words.

Take part in children's activities to show your interest. Say what you see and reflect your child's mood, no matter what kind of mood it is.

3. Don't give orders. Your task is only to observe and say what you see, not to control or guide the children.

Active restraint

Parents can generally learn the principle of constructive care easily, but it is difficult to master the constraints. Positive restraint means that parents should master the methods to deal with their children's naughty behavior. These methods should be well thought out, predictable and suitable for their children's age.

Although there are hundreds of books on the market devoted to how to best discipline children, only a few simple principles are really effective:

1, clearly define and abide by the restrictions and regulations. If possible, write down and publish these regulations.

2. Warn or remind children when they start to be naughty. This is the best way to cultivate children's self-control ability.

3. Use praise or appreciation to affirm good behavior, thus shaping positive behavior and ignoring the behavior that children deliberately attract your attention.

4. Educate children to grow up according to your expectations. Wise parents will spend enough time talking with their children about values and social norms and telling them why these values and norms are important.

5, nip in the bud. Most problems have specific stimulus reasons and signals. Finding and eliminating these factors in time will help to avoid these problems.

6. If some regulations and restrictions are violated, whether intentionally or unintentionally, appropriate punishment should be given immediately. Be consistent and keep your word.

7. When punishing children, the degree must be appropriate.

8. Master some restrictions.

Understand the consequences. It is to let children experience the inevitable consequences of their own disruptive behavior and let them understand why you want to establish some kind of rules.

Side wall it is to leave the child alone in a neutral and unaffected place for a short time. This method is very effective if children make trouble in public.

Deprive of privileges. When children are too old to use the "side wall", they can be deprived of a privilege, such as not watching TV or playing video games. The effect is very good. But don't deprive them of privileges that may be beneficial to their growth.

Overcorrection. This method is usually used to correct behavior quickly. When the child is noisy, let the child repeat the correct behavior at least 10 times, or 20 minutes. For example, if a child comes back from school and ignores your greeting, you should let him go out and enter the door again 10 times, and greet you warmly every time.

Behavior scoring system. For some chronic problems, many psychologists suggest this method. Every time a child can accurately say good behavior, he will get extra points, which can be rewarded immediately or later. On the contrary, if you are naughty, you will be deducted.

How to be an authoritative parent with high emotional intelligence? How do parents educate reckless children?

1. If it is reckless behavior caused by physiological and psychological factors, parents should give priority to positive education and kindly tell their children to be careful. It is a pity to damage things. At the same time, we should affirm and praise his good character of loving to do things, actively create a good environment for children, and let them get exercise in patient, meticulous and serious practical activities.

2. If it is caused by lack of experience or ignorance of the code of conduct, adults should help children get in touch with things extensively, accumulate experience and understand the meaning of the code of conduct. At the same time, with the help of the consequences of reckless behavior, let children accept lessons and let them know some common sense of daily life. If children are injured by knives, scalded by water or burned by fire because of playing with knives, water and fire, they should be informed of this knowledge, consciously pay attention to and develop good behavior, and reduce reckless behavior.

If it is caused by poor education, parents should behave themselves and improve their educational methods. It is necessary to prevent children from being spoiled, spoiled or abused at will. At the same time, pay attention to helping children learn self-control and avoid reckless behavior.

The reasons for children's reckless behavior are as follows:

1, physiological and psychological factors. Children aged three to five have poor visual perception, inaccurate spatial perception and poor brain ability to manipulate small muscle groups. They tried to put something on the table, but it backfired and accidentally knocked it over. Children between the ages of five and seven are usually active and aggressive, showing an insatiable desire for sports. So it often happens that a bag hits their heads and their clothes are torn.

2. Lack of knowledge and experience. Some children often climb up the wall and jump down from the brick pile, either with blue legs or twisted feet; Some children were stabbed while playing with pointed instruments, and so on. This is because they lack knowledge and experience and cannot foresee the consequences of their actions.

3. The influence of bad education. Because adults are too spoiled, children will lose their temper and throw things at random if they are slightly unhappy; Some children were scolded by adults, so they took it out on their peers and bumped into them, gradually forming reckless bad behavior habits.