Send points, send points.

When I was a child, I dreamed of doing nothing, and people rushed to give me money.

Now the dream has finally come true.

I became a waiter in a restaurant. Four people at a table scrambled to settle the bill after dinner, dragging me to put money in my pocket.

It's hard to describe the feeling of realizing your dream.

My girlfriend said to me, "You can do laundry and cook in the future, and I will earn money to support you!" " I was so excited: "Great! Then what do you do to earn money? " My girlfriend said, "Open a restaurant or a laundry ..."

Two idiots climbed a fruit tree and pretended to be fruit. Before long, an idiot fell to the ground. He shouted to another idiot in the tree, "Why didn't you fall?" Another idiot replied, "You don't admit that you are an idiot! I'm not familiar with it! "

Q: "What's the difference between Valentine's Day and Tomb-Sweeping Day now?"

A: "Valentine's Day is the same as Tomb-Sweeping Day. They all send flowers and food. The difference is that Valentine's Day burns real money and tells people a lot of nonsense; Tomb-Sweeping Day burned fake money and told a bunch of people to listen to ghosts. "

A child stood by the blacksmith's shop and watched the blacksmith strike while the iron was hot!

The blacksmith hated her a little, so he took out the red-hot iron and put it in front of the child to scare him!

The child winked and said, "If you give me a dollar, I will lick it!" " "

Hearing this, the blacksmith immediately took out a dollar and gave it to the little girl!

The child took the money, licked it with his tongue, put it in his pocket and left.

One day, I traveled with a friend who had one or two goods, and waited for a taxi by the roadside.

Seeing an empty car coming from afar, I shouted "empty car, empty car is coming!" " "

The friend was unusually calm: "Where is the time, someone!" "

In an instant, the empty taxi stopped in front of us.

When I got on the bus, I proudly said, "What look? I said it was empty. " ,

When the idiot got on the bus, he calmly pointed to the taxi driver: "Isn't there another person, and it's empty?" A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky, "I'm dead, God help me!" " "

I saw a light in the sky and a voice came: "Not necessarily, you picked up a big stone on the ground and killed the leader."

So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him.

All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead."

Oh, my god Are you playing with me?

Di Renjie: Fiona Fang, there is a car parked somewhere unknown. what do you think?

Fiona Fang: Your honor, there must be something hidden in this car. ...

After listening, sandy opened the front cover of the car and was surprised: good opinion, this car really has an engine!

But there was a dead man in the car, Fiona Fang. what do you think?

Fiona Fang: My Lord, there must be something wrong with this man. ...

Di: 1, 2, 3, 4, ... This person really has seven skills. Fiona Fang is really my right-hand man!

Fiona Fang: …

School is about to start, and my father is bending over for my tuition.

In order to help him share, before dawn, I secretly took the melon he had prepared to the market.

I plucked up my courage and shouted like everyone else: "melon sellers don't charge if they are not sweet!" " "

Some people stopped and looked at me suspiciously, but soon, more people were attracted.

They all gathered around and asked me with a smile, "Little brother, how much is this bitter gourd?"

MM asked the female colleague, "What would you do if your husband had an affair again?"

The female colleague replied, "I will turn a blind eye."

MM sighed with emotion: "Oh, you are so generous!"

The female colleague said, "No, I aimed my gun at him."

Don't shit in front of a fly, it will think you are showing off your wealth.