Stunning funny short message copy

1. The patient who just woke up after the operation asked: What happened to me? Doctor: You had an accident and just had an operation. So I'm in the hospital. The patient said. Doctor: To be exact, most of you are in the hospital.

2. Congratulations: the stock price fell, you fired without a license, your mobile phone slipped into the sewer, and you took the wrong medicine with a stomachache.

These two days are really cold. You must take good care of yourself and never freeze-as the saying goes, "people freeze their legs, pigs freeze their mouths." I've put on long pants, so buy a mask quickly!

4. Priest: Which one of you happened to have a birthday today? Tom raised his hand happily. Priest: Good. Please blow out these candles after the service!

5. A person was constipated when he went to the toilet, and suddenly he saw a person rushing in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "I envy you, I didn't take off my pants!"

6. A beautiful woman married an ugly man. When she was pregnant, she complained: If my child is like you, you really should be cursed. The husband replied: If my children are not like me, you should be cursed.

7. The blind and the lame ride bicycles together. The lame man looked at the road and suddenly saw a deep ditch, exclaiming: ditch ditch! The blind man turned around and sang: Ole Ole Ole! therefore

They fell into the ditch!

8. Because of you, I believe in fate. Maybe all this is predestined, pulling us together. What I want to say now is-what crime did I commit in my last life?

9. A snail is crawling on the road. As a result, a turtle ran over him and the snail was taken to the hospital for emergency treatment. When the police asked him about the situation at that time, the snail replied, "I don't remember, he was too fast ..."10. You cut a pig with a knife that day. The pig fled into a dead end, only to hear the pig kneel down and beg for mercy from you: "This is one track-minded, we blew up. 1 1. The ugly duckling is next to the bear. Wang, the toad wants to eat swan meat.

Eight eggs hatched a panda, Tigress gave birth to a white rabbit, and you learned to read short messages!

12. Domestic pigs are kept at home, wild boars are born in the mountains, and stupid pigs are reading this message. If the stupid pig is laughing, the fat pig is angry and the dead pig is ignoring me, even the pig is not as good as the person who doesn't reply.

13. In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, you always sleep soundly ... I envy you, alas, sometimes I think it's good to be a pig like you!

Fourteen. The pig cried sadly. His mother asked, Why are you crying? The pig said, I feel stupid. Mother comforted: don't cry, the person reading this news is more stupid than you.

15. I quietly looked at your sexy body that day, twisted naked in front of me and gently stroked your skin. I couldn't resist your temptation and said, "boss, I want this fish." "

16. The ugly girl turned around and scared a cow to death; Ugly woman

Second, turning back, the Yellow River Waterfall flows backwards; Ugly woman

After three turns, Tai Sen played table tennis instead!

17. the sea It's full of water! A good horse

Four legs! Chili, it's really hot! Little fool reading short messages, it's grinning!

Eighteen. When I am down and out, you are by my side; When I am sick and injured, I am with you; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side ... it's bad luck to be with you.

Nineteen. today

Fourth son: Lao Tzu is idle, his wife has no right to seize power, the COP has no legs for thousands of miles, and his son has no money to make big money.

two

Tongtenuto

One of the four great ideals

My four

Four ideals: don't have much money, you can hold different beautiful women; Play all over the world, no work but sleep.

2 1. The bee and the spider are getting married, but the bee is reluctant to say to her mother: I have always liked flies. Mom said: Fool, although flies are handsome, they pick up shit after all. Although spiders are ugly, they are engaged in the Internet!

22. Walking alone in the cold street in the middle of the night, lonely heart, nowhere to go, always thinking of you, thinking of you, looking forward to you, I really want to say loudly to you … invite me to dinner?

23. You are dancing on the lotus leaf. Your graceful posture charmed everyone who saw you, and one of the poets exclaimed, My God! Pig leaves! Another poet shook his head and said, no, it's a mule looking for a lotus root!

24. One day, a tiger chased a crab. After chasing crabs, they disappeared. The tiger turned around and found a spider in the tree. The tiger said with a smile, don't think I don't know you if you are online!

25. Your hair is the Milky Way in the sky. Your eyes are the moon in the sky, and your face should be a clear night sky, because your youth slogans are all over the sky, and there are so many acne!

History teacher: Why did you leave early? A Dai: I have an important appointment. History teacher: Is history more important or girlfriend more important? A Dai: If I'm late again, she will be history.

27. I have traveled from south to north. I've been on a boat and waded through it. I've seen people who were sentenced and tied up, and I've seen people who were slapped with guns. I have never seen you like this.

28. Colleagues in the hospital call Dr. Wu's house:

Three to one. Come on! Madam: It's so late. What is the hospital doing? Dr. Wu: Yes, this is a very critical case and it already exists.

Three doctors are waiting!

Twenty-nine The first part: fake cigarettes, fake wine and fake friends; Bottom line: false feelings, false feelings, false gentleness. Horizontal batch: money is real.

three

10. piggy is very powerful and sleeps every day.

From ten o'clock, Denton.

All five bowls are at the bottom, and no one dares to compare the weight. Where is the pig? I'm snickering and reading text messages.