A collection of hilarious humorous copywriting

1. A friend asked me to borrow money for plastic surgery. The plastic surgery was quite successful. I can no longer recognize who lent me the money.

2. The goddess always ignored me, so I had an idea and posted her bare-faced photos online. Sure enough, she took the initiative to find me and said she would never be done with me.

3. Once when I was on the street, my cell phone fell out, and a few coins fell out. Someone next to me said, look, the phone fell so hard that all the phone bills fell out.

4. When I got home today, I found my daughter-in-law was lecturing my daughter, so I asked my daughter-in-law, "What's going on? You're so angry!" My daughter-in-law said angrily, I asked her what she wanted to do in her next life, and she said she wanted to be my mother and she wanted to teach me a lesson.

5. Being beautiful, if done well, is called self-confidence. Shamelessness, if done well, is called a strong psychological quality.

6. I go to work because I have no money, but why do I still have no money even after I go to work and get paid? I don’t understand which link caused the problem. Is there a middleman making the difference?

7. Once upon a time, there was a fat man. He heard that yoga can help lose weight. God paid off. Two months later, he became a soft fat man.

8. When you are in a bad mood, delete a few WeChat business friends, for no other reason than to let them feel that the road to entrepreneurship is not smooth sailing.

9. Scientific research has proven that people who smoke and drink all year round are less likely to suffer from Alzheimer's disease because they are more likely to die early.

10. I was walking alone on the empty street after get off work in the evening. I met a few gangsters who asked me to borrow money. I used the 10 Eight Dragon Subduing Palms and Tathagata Divine Palms that I learned from TV! A few gangsters finally thought I was sick and walked away!

11. At the work dinner, the leader rarely praised me in front of everyone and said that thanks to my frequent lateness, I had the funds for this event.

12. A beautiful woman sent me a text message last night saying that there is no one at my house at night, please come to my house. So I went over and knocked on the door all night, and sure enough, no one was there.

13. One day, Xiao Ming watched the "Youlemei" advertisement. I ran to my father in a hurry and asked: Dad, Dad, what am I to you? Dad answered without thinking: You are the punishment for my impulsiveness...

14. If life deceives you, don’t be sad or impatient. Just be deceived a few more times and it will become natural. What?

15. Why I can’t lose weight is because I like to eat when I am happy, and my appetite is better when I am unhappy.

16. Women must be kind to themselves. Once you are exhausted, there will be other women spending your money, staying in your room, sleeping with your husband, and beating your children.

17. From today on, as long as you are my friend, if you have no money, just let me know, and I can tell you how I spent my days without money.

18. Don’t worry about things that you can’t solve today. Don’t panic, because you won’t be able to solve them tomorrow either.

19. Foreigners are too weak to use knives and forks when eating, but our ancestors had the foresight to eat with chopsticks so that we can have one hand free to play with our mobile phones while eating.

20. Every morning my bed drags me hard and won’t let me go. It’s so annoying. No, I have to think of a way to cure it.

21. I deliberately chat to death because I don’t want to talk to you anymore; I deliberately don’t understand your hints because I don’t want to develop any relationship with you; I’m not stupid, I’m just not interested in you. Don't think too much.

22. Is money really that important to you? Do you only have money in your eyes? I've been talking for more than two hours, and it's not cheap at all!

23. The post-90s generation of the past: stayed up the deepest nights, put on the prettiest makeup, and danced the most wildly; the current post-90s generation: lost the deepest sleep, lost the longest hair, and drank the most tonic. of soup.

24. To deal with fatigue: sleep. Deal with fear: sleep. To deal with a cold: sleep. Deal with hunger: sleep. To deal with a broken love: sleep. Focus on sleeping for twenty years, sleep! Trustworthy!