How to comfort colleagues

Listening is listening to each other's voice and conversation with eyes, ears and heart, rather than asking about the ins and outs of things. Giving the other person a chance to express and vent is better than any verbal comfort you give him.

pause

When communicating with the other party, once you find the voice of "I don't quite understand …" ringing in your heart, you should stop immediately and ask the other party to clarify the problem. Stopping can help you avoid being subjective and generalizing, and thus treat each other's problems rationally. Otherwise, we will only discuss the right and wrong of the problem with each other in a few sentences, and often say something unpleasant to each other, which will deviate from your original intention of comfort. Only by saying the right words at the right time can we achieve the purpose of comfort.

Give support to each other

Remember that when comforting others, don't tell others "You should feel …" or "You shouldn't feel …" and so on. Everyone has the right to keep their true feelings and not be influenced by others. Comfort is not asking you to help each other judge. Comfort is to give the other person his own space and identify with his own feelings. You don't need to use "agree" or "disagree" to express sympathy and care.

Step 4 sympathize with others

Comfort others face to face, the effect is often closely related to your true state of mind. For the comforted person, your sympathy for his or her experience is the best gift he or she needs.

5. Comfort is not salvation

Helping others through painful times doesn't mean saving them from pain. Everyone is responsible for the consequences of his actions. So you must first recognize their pain, but don't try to eliminate their pain in the fastest way. In the face of people who need comfort, all you can do is tell them to cross the bridge of "River of Pain" as soon as possible, that is, to get rid of pain. As for whether these methods can work, how long it will take is beyond your control.

When your colleagues are in pain, the most basic way to comfort them is to give them room to cry. Crying is the best way for the human body to expel emotional toxins. Therefore, when a colleague cries in front of you, don't rush to hand him (her) a tissue, let him (her) vent and cry heartily, and tears can dilute his (her) inner pain.

Tell each other how you feel.

When many people comfort others, they don't want others to know how they feel at that time. You don't need it. You can let the other person know how you felt. You can even say to the other person directly, "I really can't understand how you feel now, and I don't know what to say to comfort you, but I really care about you and hope you can get better as soon as possible." Although this frank expression seems contradictory, it is a true portrayal of your heart, which can make the other party feel your sincerity and painstaking efforts. If you can't say it, you can also tell each other how you feel by writing. Silent language, especially written form, is sometimes more infectious than oral language. Many depressed people have a soft spot for letters and other written forms.